by Emilia Finn
There’s nothing but friendship, and though I care about Evie’s feelings on this, I can’t toss Nora aside because Evie is insecure about her.
I quit the gym for you, Ben!
Yeah… double standards. Another strike in my column, and another way that I was able to hurt the only girl I ever promised to take care of.
My phone rings once, twice, three times, and though I try to ignore her and focus on Evie’s imminent arrival, I still pick up the device and swipe a thumb across the screen.
“Hey.”
I stand on Kit Kincaid’s front doorstep on Christmas Eve with Ma’s casserole dish burning my forearm, but I barely feel the burn, because I’m here for dinner, and so is Evie.
She’s here.
Fuck me, she’s here.
“Ben.” Kit flashes her PR smile when she swings the door wide and reveals her bright red ugly sweater with tassels where her… uh… nipples are.
I know Kit as my boss, in a way, my manager, my mother figure in the gym – though of course, my actual mother is employed by the gym too. Kit is a professional in most of our interactions, so the swinging tassels send my mind spinning and my eyes skyward. She’s Evie’s aunt. She’s absolutely not someone I look at when I want to look at something… ya know… stimulating.
It’s not that she’s not beautiful. It’s just edging way too close to the mom zone, so my stomach turns a little, made worse when Bobby steps up behind her and rests his hand on her hip. He studies us for a moment, my awkward stance, my averted eyes, and peeking over her shoulder, he looks down to her sweater, then back to me.
He chuckles. “I can’t decide if I hate this sweater, or love it. Come on in, Sasquatch.” He grabs my casserole and tucks it under his arm. “Smells great. Did you make it, or Ma?”
“Me and Ma.” I glance down again when Kit turns away and shows me her back, only to read ‘baby it’s cold’ in yellow thread, and throw my eyes toward the sky again with a groan. I don’t want to think about Kit Kincaid’s nipples. I don’t want to think about her tassels. I don’t want to think anything weird about her, but as we walk into the house, toward the rising noise, I stop again and curl my lips back when Jimmy steps forward in a green sweater with an image of Santa holding a gift. Beneath, it reads, ‘I have a big package for you’.
No one told me it’s an ugly sweater evening. No one prepared me for this, so when Aiden steps out of the kitchen and meets us in the living room with surprise in his eyes, and a sweater with an upside-down snowman – upside down, meaning the carrot nose is down… there – I nearly throw my hands in the air and walk away.
“I-I can’t…” I stutter. I’ve developed a fucking stutter. “I don’t know how to deal with…” I wave toward Jimmy and his package, then to Aiden and his carrot dick. “I feel a little violated, to be honest.”
“Sasquatch is here for dinner.” Aiden ignores my discomfort, and instead leaves his surprised brow raised high. “I’m not saying you’re unwelcome, but, uh… why are you here?”
“I invited him.” Tink steps into the room wearing skin-tight jeans and a black sweater with Darth Vader wearing a Christmas hat. It’s tame, it’s G-rated when I expected she’d be the worst of them all, and when she doesn’t stop walking until our hips touch and her arm wraps around mine, I swallow my relief.
She invited me, and her sweater isn’t giving me nightmares.
“You invited him?” Aiden presses in a slow growl. “All part of some elaborate plan, perhaps?” he asks his sister-in-law.
“Absolutely not!” she mock gasps. “How dare you accuse me of such a heinous crime!”
Aiden merely purses his lips, but he’s left without a choice when Tink snatches the casserole dish from Bobby’s hands. She sashays her way toward the kitchen, and when I can finally look away from the threat in Aiden’s eyes and focus on Tink again, I vomit a little in my mouth when I read ‘I have daddy issues’ on her back.
It wouldn’t be so bad, except then Jon walks into the room wearing a sweater that says only DADDY across his chest. That’s not the end of the world either, I suppose, except that as they pass, they lift their hands to high-five, and as she goes, he drops his hand and slaps her ass so hard, she skips forward a step.
My movements are involuntary. My brain switched off when I saw Aiden’s carrot dick, so my hand coming up to cover my mouth does it without my conscious decision. My watering eyes, and the way my mouth fills with saliva in preparation to spew, it’s all done without my brain’s involvement.
“Is this a joke?” I look between each adult as they mill around the room. They all wear ugly sweaters, but not one of them are the regular type of ugly. They all wear sex jokes, and though I wouldn’t say I’m a prude, seeing my ex-everything’s parents walking around mid-act makes me feel sick right down to my stomach.
“Not a joke.” Tink re-enters the living room with a megawatt grin and claps her hands together. “Dinner is being served in twenty minutes. We’re just waiting for our guest of honor to arrive.”
I turn a half circle. “Evie’s not here yet?”
“She landed and is in the car on the way here.” Tink taps the side of her head. “I have eyes and ears everywhere, so–”
“She called you.”
She grins. “Yeah, she called me. Mac’s driving, Bean’s shotgun, and the twins are in the back giving her a hard time. They’ll be here soon.”
“The twins? Why’d they go?”
She shrugs. “Dunno. Don’t care. They were annoying the shit out of me, so I kicked them out and bought myself two hours of momma time.”
Jon steps forward in his Daddy sweater and pulls her into his side. He flashes a wide smile that adds another layer of sick to my stomach.
“Gross.” I turn away and walk the long way through the front entrance and around to the other kitchen entrance. I don’t want to pass through the Kincaids and risk touching tassels or carrots, so I help myself to their home – the home I’ve spent thousands of hours in over the years – and swing their fridge door open.
Three bottles of white wine sit chilling in the front, but behind those are bottles of light beer, so I snag one and pop the cap off with none of the manners my mom has spent two decades trying to beat into me.
She tried, I swear she really did.
I toss the cap into the trash, tip the beer up as I walk, and when I swallow and lean against the island counter, it’s like one of those soul-cleansing moments. The kind where you can’t help but close your eyes and expel months or years of pent-up anxiety. It’s the kind where your stomach empties out, but in the best kind of way, and after that happens, your chest follows suit and makes it so nothing is as heavy anymore.
I swallow a mouthful of the shitty beer and enjoy the slide of cold liquid through my chest and into my stomach, and while my eyes remain closed, the front door opens and the volume of everyone in this entire house grows exponentially.
“Evie!” Tink’s voice is the most distinguishable, the loudest, and the silliest as something is knocked to the floor, and Evie’s voice comes out on a grunt.
I don’t have to leave this kitchen to see what’s going on. I see it in my head as clearly as a video. Evie’s five-foot aunt has thrown herself at her niece, body, soul, and five-inch heels, she’s thrown everything and expected to be caught.
No one ever drops her, so she’s complacent in her body-tossing moments.
“Oh my God! I’m so happy to see your face. Jesus Christ on a cracker, it’s been too long.”
My stomach lurches when Evie’s tinkling laugh echoes through the house. Then her voice.
“I missed you, Aunt T. Cool sweater.” I hear more grunts – setting the woman on her own two feet – and then the longest, kindest, warmest hug when Aiden takes his turn. Everyone knows he gets first dibs, but Tink doesn’t much care for proprietaries. “Biggie…”
“Shhh…”
I walk around the island counter and stop by the original doorway Tink walked through. Without
stepping into view, I’m able to lean against another counter and angle my head in such a way that I can watch Aiden take his hug. I only see his back and her shoulder. And all of that hair. So much fucking hair. He squeezes his girl so tight that his hands turn white, but she’s not fighting him off. Her arms are wrapped around his neck, she stands on her tippy toes, and I swear, she cries a little as he holds on tight and breathes her in.
“I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, honey.” He finally lets her step back to flat feet, and when she wipes the sleeve of her sweater under an eye, I frown. Evie is crying. It’s not a full-out howling sob, but still, a single tear is legions more than she usually gives. “Where are the guys?”
She nods toward the door behind her. “Getting my bags and stuff. Oh God.” She looks around the room from one smiling face to the next. “It feels so good to be here.” She steps away from Aiden, only to wind her way into Bobby’s arms. Instead of waiting for her turn, Kit steps in and makes it a trio hug that she’s welcomed straight into. “Jesus. I didn’t realize how much I couldn’t breathe until I walked in here. I love you guys so much.”
“Get the fudge off me!” My ears perk up at the sound of Tink’s twin boys making their way through the door. They fight – all the fucking time. Luke was named for Skywalker, because his mom and dad are legitimate nerds, and Rob was named for his Uncle Bobby, but since we already have a Bobby, the family settled on Rob before he was even out of diapers. They’re still teenagers, and it’s like they sneak coffee beans while no one is watching. They’re always moving, always going, always arguing. They beat on each other more than they beat on anyone else, but the second someone else squares up, they create this impenetrable two-man army that I genuinely don’t think is beatable.
They’re following me onto the pro circuit just as soon as they’re old enough, and when they do, I seriously hope the world is ready for them. They’re going to fuck shit up in the best way, and I’m happy that I’m getting mine in first, because once they’re done, the system probably won’t have survived.
“Fuck off, Spock!”
“If you boys don’t stop your bullshit right now, I’m gonna come at you.” Tink silences her six-foot-tall sons with a single sentence and the mom eyes. Lifting a hand, she points at one, then the other. “Quit it.”
“Mom…”
“Wanna test me?” She takes a single step forward. “Really? You think now is a good time to summon Ghetto Mom?”
“No, ma’am.” The boys turn toward the stairs, but Evie, used to their noise, barely notices as she releases Kit and Bobby, and steps into the next pair of waiting arms.
“Mommy.”
“I missed you, baby.” Tina pulls back faster than everyone else, but only to cup Evie’s face and push the hair back. When she has a clear canvas – and has shown me that perfect face, complete with fire-engine red lipstick and enough mascara to make her lashes sit up high – she leans in and smothers her daughter with kisses. “Holy hell, I’ve missed you. Fourth of July was so long ago. It’s too long apart.”
“I’m nearly done.” Evie pulls her mom in for one more hug. “One more semester to go.”
“Ben?” Bean steps through the other kitchen entryway and stops on a skid, but her word, so fucking loud, makes everyone in the living room freeze.
Including Evie.
I don’t look at my half-sister. I see her most days in the gym, so I ignore her existence, and instead find myself stuck in Evie’s blue-eyed gaze as her cheeks turn ghostly white and her eyes widen. She remains in Tina’s half-hug, but her eyes are for me as her lips open and close without words.
“Shit,” Lucy murmurs. “What are you… oh shit.”
“Ben?” Evie steps around her mom and reveals tight jeans that hug her strong thighs like a second skin. She wears a body-hugging sweater, but it’s not ugly like those of her family. Her hair is loose tonight, the curls extra tight, as though she took care to make them perfect. “What… um…” She peeks back to her family, then to me. “What are you doing here?”
“Manners,” Tink coughs with an exaggerated hocking sound.
“I mean…” A blush fills Evie’s white cheeks. “Shit, okay. Um… Merry Christmas.”
She’s playing nice. I honestly had no clue if she’d body slam me the second she saw me, or completely ignore my existence and turn away with a lifted nose, so when she steps forward instead, steps right into my embrace, and wraps her arms around my stomach, I’m stunned so much that I don’t even think to hug her back.
She’s a foot shorter than me, but her hair takes up a lot of that space, so the locks tickle my nose as I simply… inhale.
Too soon, she steps back and lets her hands leave my hips, and when she’s brave again, her eyes come up and flicker between mine. “I just… wow.” She looks me up and down from my toes to my hair, and grins. “I’m so happy to see you. I’m… uh… well,” she clears her throat. “I guess this is a little awkward after so long, but I am.” Her long lashes come down to kiss her cheeks. “I’m happy to see you.”
“I still love you,” I blurt out. In front of everyone. In front of every fucking human on this planet. “I never wanted to break up with you. And I swear, I never meant to hurt you. I still love you, Evie.”
“Oh shit…” Bean smothers her words when the front door opens again, then it slams to reveal Mac’s face, and beside him –
“Reid fucking Baker.”
Evie
Awkward is an Understatement
He loves me?
He still fucking loves me?
Before I can say a damn thing to Ben’s insane outburst, Biggie does what Biggie does best. He protects me, which, in this instance, means stepping between Reid and Ben, and pushing me to the side so my mom pulls me close. She’d call it a hug, but in reality, she holds me down in case this living room resembles the grass out front of my dorm.
“Ben…” Biggie turns to his fight protégé, whose nostrils flare with rage as he stares at Reid. “No.” Then he turns to Reid and looks him up and down that way he always does when he’s deciding on a scale of can’t-fucking-stand-the-guy to I’ll-get-the-shovel. He studies my adrenaline-pumped boyfriend with a critical eye, and lets his stance speak more than his words.
Aiden Kincaid is a man of few words. He’s perfected the intimidation glare over the years, so all he truly does when he meets someone new is fold his arms and… stare. It weeds out the weak. It forces people to say only the important things, and it saves him breath when he has so few fucks to give.
“Reid Baker?” Biggie’s brows lift high as though in question. “That’s your name?” He pokes a thumb over his shoulder to indicate Ben. “That’s what he just said, right?”
“Um… yes, sir.” I’m not sure I’ve ever heard Reid call someone ‘sir’ before, but he does now as he steps forward and takes Biggie’s hand in a shake. “Reid Baker. Nice to meet you, Mr. Kincaid.”
“You know I’m a Kincaid?” Biggie casts a glance to Uncle Bobby, and then to Uncle Jimmy when he senses drama and makes himself known. “How do you know I’m a Kincaid?”
“Uh…” Reid’s eyes come to mine in question, then to Ben’s in… well… I guess threat. Not threat, as in, I’m gonna dispose of your body just as soon as I get a moment. But more like, If you jump me, I’m not gonna lay down and take it. “I see you on the TV sometimes. I see all of you.”
“You’re a fan?” Uncle Bobby steps forward with a suspicious glare and does the arm-folding thing too. No guy has ever been brought home to the family before. Ben was always here, and Mac started turning up when he was eleven or so, so there was none of this for us to endure. Bobby looks Reid up and down. “You’re a fighter too?”
“Yes, sir.” He steps forward and takes my uncle’s hand. “I like to keep active.”
Bobby steps back, folds his arms, and lets his moving jaw communicate everything he needs.
Biggie’s eyes come to mine. “I didn’t know you were
bringing a guest, honey. We would have…” He stops. Swallows. “Set out another placemat.”
“I didn’t know either,” Ben glowers from his place by the kitchen doorway. “I would have done things differently too.”
My eyes narrow and send us hurtling right back to who we used to be. Benny the sasquatch says something annoying, and I threaten death with a glare.
“I knew,” Aunt Tink chimes in with a wide grin. “And Kit too.”
Aunt Kit looks to her best friend and glares.
“I didn’t know Ben would be here,” I offer back. If everyone’s going with the intimidation game, then I’m not going to miss out. It’s not like I’m over the moon he’s here. Tonight would have gone much smoother without him.
“Oh, I knew that too,” Tink says. “It’s been so long since I saw him, I knew tonight would be the perfect time to catch up.”
I purse my lips and glower. “Yeah, perfect fuckin’ timing, Aunt T.”
“Evelyn!” Mom smacks my arm and squeezes me extra tight with her other hand. “Language. Shit, baby.”
“Alright, ya know what?” Uncle Jimmy steps into our group wearing his ugly sweater and a wicked grin. “Let’s just… cool the fuck off. Reid Baker?” He extends a hand. “Welcome to our home. Good luck making friends. Seems you’re looking to date our girl, and I have no fuckin’ clue where you expect to be sleeping. Ain’t no man on this estate gonna let you follow Evie up to her room.”
“Jimmy!” I growl.
He’s not sorry. He merely purses his lips and shrugs. “Just putting the truth out there, baby girl.” Then he looks back to Reid. “Beer’s in the fridge, but if you get drunk and stupid, you’re sleeping in the snow.” He turns to Ben. “Sasquatch, you already know the rules. If you have beef, take it to the yard. If you think you’re gonna tear strips off Smalls all night with your bad attitude, then… well…” he laughs. “I’m here for that.”