Nine Kingdoms. Trolls. Dogs that could write. Magic sleeping dust. Virginia was trying to take it all in when Burly twirled, produced an axe, and slammed it into the TV. The set exploded in a poof of smoke and a shower of sparks.
“So where is he?" Burly shouted.
Okay. Virginia got it. Trolls were psychopaths. “I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Prince Wendell,” Blabberwort said. “We’re going to count to three, then we’re going to make you into shoes.” Burly grabbed Virginia’s leg and squeezed so hard, she almost yelped. In the hand that had held the axe, he now held a pair of scissors. Where did he keep all that equipment? Under his smelly jacket?
“One,” Burly said. “I’ll cut the shoes.”
Blabberwort ran a small curved knife gently along Virginia’s arm. The blade felt smooth and sharp. Virginia held her breath and wished the dog would do something.
“Two,” Blabberwort said. “I’ll shape the shoes.” Bluebell grabbed Virginia, pulled her forward and held a huge needle to her eye. Or maybe it only seemed huge because it was so close. These three were serious and they were seriously crazy and they had a seriously crazy shoe fetish and they just might do something ... well, something serious and crazy. “Three,” Bluebell said. “I’ll stitch the sh—”
“All right! All right!” Virginia shouted. “I’ll tell you where he is.”
Prince slunk even farther behind the sofa. No help from that quarter. She had to come up with some kind of lie. A good
lie,
“He—he’s here,” she said. “He’s just outside.”
“Show us,” Burly said. “Take us to him.”
She didn’t have much of a choice. The three of them grabbed her and dragged her out of the apartment, the metal on their clothing clanging as they moved. The sound didn’t wake her father, and Prince still wasn’t doing anything.
The hallway didn’t look any different. The people were still sleeping. At least two of them were snoring. Virginia struggled, but she wasn’t going to get away. She had to think her way through this one.
As they dragged her toward the end of the hallway, she saw Prince come out the apartment door. He remained in the shadows so that they couldn’t see him. Smart dog, considering the shape of that Dachshund.
Bluebell shook her, and Virginia, out of ideas, pointed at the closed elevator.
“He’s hiding—behind those doors,” she said.
As they approached the elevator, the doors opened. The Trolls gasped.
“Ah-ha,” Burly said. “That room was not there a moment ago. You are crafty.”
The Trolls shoved Virginia into the elevator and got in beside her. They started to look around. They touched its flocked wallpaper and the sides, making little noises of delight. Somehow it didn’t surprise her that they had never seen an elevator before.
Then Blabberwort peered at Virginia suspiciously. “There’s no one in here.”
“Oh, yes, he’s here,” Virginia lied. “I’ll, uh—operate the secret door to show you where he’s hiding.”
She punched the “close” button. The doors actually obeyed her command. As they started to close, she stepped out of the elevator. Then she grabbed the loose wires dangling from the control panel outside the elevator and wrenched them out. A small electric shock ran through her hand, but she didn’t care. She just prayed the Trolls wouldn’t figure out how to stop the door.
“No!” Burly shouted. “It’s a trick.”
The doors were nearly closed when stubby fingers shoved between them.
“Open these doors!” Blabberwort demanded.
The fingers tried to pry the doors open. They were going to succeed too. The last thing she wanted was those creatures loose in this hallway again. She grabbed the nearby fire extinguisher and slammed it down on the fingers as hard as she could.
“Ow! Ow! Ow!”
The fingers disappeared and the doors slammed shut. Then Virginia grabbed the remaining wires, yanked them out of the control panel, and gave it a good whack with the fire extinguisher just in case.
The elevator doors stayed shut this time, and she thanked the mechanical gods for small favors. Inside, she could hear the Trolls banging.
“Let us out!” Bluebell shouted. “Let us out!”
Prince ran up to her, barking for the first time, his tail wagging, something she’d never seen before. It was almost as if he were congratulating her.
“All right, all right,” Virginia said, feeling a little grin build. She had done pretty well. But she had to keep moving. “Let’s get out of here.”
Prince didn’t need to be told twice. He ran with her to the stairs and down the fire escape. As she stepped outside the building, she heard Troll voices growing fainter.
She didn’t like leaving her father with them, but it didn’t look as if they were bent on destruction. Only on defending shoes. Of course, if they looked in his closet, they might get really upset.
Chapter Six
Tony slowly woke up. There was a terrible smell in his nose, something like rancid meat, and he wondered if the ribs Virginia had left for him weren’t good. He’d eaten them quickly, and then he’d fallen asleep.
His eyes felt gummed shut, and there was an awful taste in his mouth. And he’d been drooling. He hated it when he drooled in his sleep. He wiped at his face and felt himself drift off again, but something was preventing it. Something loud.
The doorbell was ringing.
And ringing.
And ringing.
“Whatever it is,” Tony said, “go away ...”
There was a man outside his door. A man he didn’t recognize. How come Tony could see him through the door? Tony rubbed at his eyes. He had to wake up.
“Good evening.” The man smiled warmly as he stepped through the door. That was why Tony could see him. Someone had splintered the wood. Didn’t he dream that? It was just as he was dropping off. Not that it mattered right now. There was a stranger in his apartment.
Tony stood, swaying just a little, wishing he could wake up all the way.
The man surveyed the apartment and he seemed to be sniffing something. “Trolls have visited you first, I see.”
Trolls? Tony frowned. What was this guy doing here?
“No matter,” the man was saying. “My name is Wolf, and
I have come to you with a proposition. Tonight and tonight only I am authorized to make a unique offer, namely the end to all your personal and financial problems.”
A scam artist. Tony crossed his arms. “One more step and I’m calling the cops.”
Wolf grinned. His name suited him. He made Tony very nervous.
“I’m ... I’m in charge here,” Tony said. “This is private property.”
Wolf spun around the room, tested the sofa, ran his fingers across the back of Tony’s chair. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small but elaborate golden case. He whipped it open and some glimmering light flowed out. The light had a faintly disgusting odor, like dried cow dung.
Tony tilted his head and blew out slightly to get the smell out of his nose.
Inside the case was a black bean the size of his thumb.
Wolf said, “Under the terms of this policy, I am—in exchange for the information as to the whereabouts of your daughter—able to offer you a magic bean that, once eaten, will give you six glorious wishes.”
Six wishes. What was this? Wasn’t the norm three?
It was as if Tony was in a fairy tale, which he definitely was not. He was in his apartment.
Wolf didn’t seem to notice his hesitation. He’d found a framed photograph of Virginia and had picked it up, studying it. “This her?”
How did this guy know of Tony’s daughter? What was going on here?
“This can’t be her,” Wolf said.
“Why not?” Tony asked.
“She’s succulent,” Wolf said. “Wow, what a dreamy, creamy girl.”
He ran a hand over the picture
, looking mesmerized. Tony peered at him. This guy was really strange, and Tony wasn’t sure he liked the way that Wolf was looking at his daughter— or at least at the photograph of his daughter. First he was looking at it like a lovesick puppy and now he was leering at it as if he wanted to—
“Tasty or what?” Wolf said. “Where is she?”
As if Tony would tell him. Not after that last look. “She’s ... she’s not back from work yet.”
Wolf tilted his head and then shook it reprovingly, as if he had caught Tony in a lie. “Oh, she’s been back, all right. I can smell her.”
He flicked the bean across the room and Tony caught it. It was hot, and it started to jump inside his hand.
“Hey,” Tony said, “what’s it doing?”
Wolf slid nearer to Tony and his eyes flashed green. They seemed to fill his sockets, turning everything, including the whites, the color of emeralds.
“Six big wishes,” Wolf said. “Imagine having anything you desire.”
The bean bounced insistently against his hand. Everything he desired. Hmmm.
“And from the look of your modest surroundings,” Wolf said, “I’m sure there are many things you’d love to change.” Of course there were. First he’d buy a new chair, real leather this time, and then he’d start on the walls. The flocked wallpaper made him feel as if he were in a decrepit bordello. He nodded slightly and said, “Well, I—No!”
What had he been thinking? He’d actually considered it. He thought of letting this... this... wolf get near his daughter. “Get out of my apartment!”
Tony’s shout didn’t seem to faze Wolf at all. His eyes had gone so green that they reminded Tony of a forest. A magic forest. “Six lovely wishes ...”
“I ..There was a reason he was protesting. He just couldn’t remember it.
“Yes?” Wolf asked.
Six wishes. Anything he wanted. He could get more than a chair. He could get a thousand chairs. He could get enough money to have a new chair every day. He smiled just a little. It was a goofy smile, he knew, but the idea of having everything he wanted was more than he had allowed himself to contemplate before.
“Just supposing this ... this thing works,” Tony said, “what’s to stop me asking for a million dollars?”
The bean was still jumping insistently against his hand. He really wanted to try this.
Wolf grabbed a spare rib from the plate on the floor beside Tony’s chair. He brought the rib to his mouth and ran his teeth along it, cleaning the meat off the bone as if it were merely sauce. But his gaze remained on Tony.
“You can ask for anything you want.” Wolf tossed the bone over the back of Tony’s chair.
Tony’s brain wasn’t working as well as he wanted it to. That long sleep had affected him. Or had those eyes? “But there must be a catch.”
“Oh, no.” Wolf whipped a contract out of his pocket and spoke very fast. “It’s a standard multiple wishes deal: six wishes, no going back on wishes once made, no having five wishes and then wishing for another thousand ... Well, come on, is that fair or what? Now where’s your lovely daughter?” Wolf thrust a pen in front of Tony. Wolf’s eyes seemed even greener. Tony reached for the pen. Six wishes. Six lovely wishes. He almost touched the pen and then stopped.
What had Wolf said about his daughter?
“Wait just a minute,” Tony said. “What do you want her for?”
“Oh, nothing bad,” Wolf said. “Simply to reclaim my little dog that she found earlier.”
“Your dog?” Tony asked.
“There’s even a reward,” Wolf said, “which I intend to give her personally.”
Wolf smiled. He had beautiful teeth. And nice green eyes. The bean was still bouncing in Tony’s hand. He looked at it; then he watched his own hand reach for the pen and scribble a signature. He didn’t remember giving his hand that instruction, but somehow it didn’t matter. This man seemed quite nice, after all, and he was missing his dog....
“If she’s not at work she’ll be at my mother-in-law’s.” The thought of his mother-in-law made Tony’s stomach turn. “She’s always trying to turn Virginia against me.”
“Does this mother-in-law like flowers?” Wolf asked.
“She likes money,” Tony said. “That’s the only thing that impresses her.”
“Address please,” Wolf said.
Tony’s hand moved of its own volition again, writing down the address. Out of the comer of his eye, he saw Wolf caress Virginia’s photograph and then pocket it. Tony wanted to protest, but found that he couldn’t.
“It’s been a pleasure,” Wolf said.
That bouncing bean was still slamming against his palm. Tony looked at it. It didn’t really look like a bean. It looked like an oversized beetle. Maybe he didn’t want to do this after all.
“How long before this takes effect?” he asked.
“Don’t worry,” Wolf said. “The first three hours are the worst.”
“Right,” Tony said. That made sense after all. Or rather, it didn’t. He frowned. “What does that mean?”
But Wolf was gone. Tony didn’t even see him leave. Well, they’d made a deal, and Wolf had made certain promises.
“Anything I want ..Tony whispered.
He took a deep breath, then swallowed the bean. He waited. He didn’t feel any different. He wasn’t even more awake. If a man ate a magic bean, shouldn’t he feel something? Even a minor tingle of magic power?
Apparently not. He shrugged. “All right,” he said, beginning to like this idea. “For my first wish—”
His stomach cramped in horrible agony. Pain shot through his abdomen and down his back, up into his throat, and he barely held the contents of his belly down.
The first three hours are the worst, Wolf said.
And this was what he meant.
Tony closed his eyes. “Oh, my God!” he moaned as the pain got worse.
Virginia unlocked the door to her grandmother’s Gramercy Park apartment. She put her finger to her lips so that Prince wouldn’t bark—not that he seemed to do it like any other dog would anyway—and then eased her way inside the door. Prince slipped in with her.
She started to push the door closed when her grandmother shouted, “Who is it?”
“Only me, Grandma.” Virginia turned. Her grandmother was standing at the other end of the hallway. She wore her velour bathrobe and had her peach-colored hair pushed back in a style sixty years out of date. She wore too much makeup, as usual, but it fit the style of the apartment: sumptuous and gorgeous, at least in terms of the 1930s.
“What are you doing here at this time of night?” Her grandmother had her hand over her heart. “I nearly died of shock.” Then she looked down at Prince. “And what in God’s name is that?”
She yanked the dog forward and peered into his face. He struggled to get free. Virginia found she didn’t like the way her grandmother was handling him.
“I found him,” Virginia said. “He’s a stray.”
Prince gave her a withering look.
“A stray,” Grandma said, disgusted. “Well take him somewhere and get him destroyed. He’s probably riddled with fleas.” Prince probably had fewer fleas than any dog on the planet.
Not that her grandmother would know that. Grandma let go of Prince and then swayed slightly to one side.
Virginia sighed. Her grandmother was drunk again.
“I don’t want him going near Roland.”
Roland, her grandmother’s pampered poodle, lay on his satin pillow. He looked at Prince suspiciously, little dog eyes
narrowing. Now Roland had poodle eyes with poodle intelligence. Prince had human eyes. Virginia was becoming more and more convinced. She’d never believed until tonight that a person could read intelligence in an animal’s eyes.
“When I saw you,” Grandma said, “just for a moment I thought you were your mother.”
Here they went again. “Sorry to disappoint you,” Virginia said.
“She’ll come back
one day, you know,” Grandma said. “She’ll just swan in without a word. You don’t think she could be in Aspen? She loved the snow.”
“I think she would have come back by now,” Virginia said. “Fourteen years is a lot of apres ski.”
“Don’t be cheap, dear,” Grandma said. “Would you like a glass of champagne?’ ’
She poured a glass from an almost empty bottle. Virginia glanced down the hall at her grandmother’s bedroom, where the satin-covered bed was slightly mussed and the shopping channel was on.
Staying here would drive her crazy, but it was better than going home to the smashed door and those psychopathic Trolls stuck in the elevator.
“Would it be all right if I stayed the night?” Virginia asked. Her grandmother smiled. It was a gloating smile. “He’s thrown you out. I knew it would happen.” Her voice rose as she sank in her own imaginings. “Your forehead’s cut. He’s hit you—”
“Don’t be stupid,” Virginia said, disgusted. She hated dealing with her grandmother when she was drunk. Which was getting to be most of the time. “I fell off my bike.”
Roland advanced on Prince and yapped. Prince moved away as if the little dog were nothing more than a fly.
“Why don’t you come and live with me?” Grandma asked. “You could have much more space here. You could be something in society, Virginia. You’ve got your mother’s looks.” “I don’t want to be something in society,” Virginia said.
“My debut at the Ritz Carlton was like a coronation,” Grandma said, clearly lost in the memory. “I was on the cover of every society magazine. And your mother ... at seventeen she was so beautiful, it hurt to look at her. She could have had any bachelor in New York. And who did she end up with?”
Virginia knew this script as if it had been written in stone. “Dad.”
“I rest my case,” Grandma said.
Grandma leaned forward and poured more from the bottle. Then she picked up her glass and swung it as she spoke.
“I gave her everything. If only she could have been like you. You never get angry or shout, do you? You’re such a good girl.”
A good, quiet girl who clenched her fists a lot. Virginia bit her tongue. Literally.
The 10th Kingdom Page 6