Once dinner was over and Anne and her mother retired to the drawing room, Anne watched the clock until she felt it was appropriate for her to leave in search of Monty. Anne excused herself, saying that she had a headache, and went to the dining room to seek an audience with her soon-to-be fiancé.
Anne knocked on the door to the dining room. When no reply came, she turned the handle and entered the room. The gentlemen were nowhere to be seen. Luckily for Anne, the servants were just arriving to clear away the dinner things and informed her that Walter and Charles retired early due to the day’s exertions, and the other three gentlemen went to play a game of billiards.
Anne nodded, strengthened her resolve, and headed off to the billiards room.
* * *
Lady Catherine, once left alone after Anne’s departure, felt her curiosity rise. She knew Monty had spoken to Anne; she also knew Anne was out of sorts during their trip back to Rosings. What she did not know and what she desired to know was, what happened? What was said? And were they engaged to be married or not?
Lady Catherine paced up and down in front of the fire until the maid arrived with the tea things. “Are the gentlemen finished in the dining room?” she asked.
The maid curtseyed, “Yes, Your Ladyship. They’ve gone to play billiards awhile.”
Lady Catherine thought for a moment and then headed out of the door – her destination was Sir Lewis’ study. Lady Catherine always felt that eavesdropping was beneath her, but also knew the best way to find information without a direct assault was to do just that. She knew there was a door from Sir Lewis’ study into the library, and at the back of the library was a door that led directly to the billiards room. It was not used and she knew she could listen at the door without fear of being discovered.
* * *
As Anne approached the door, she found it slightly ajar. The men within were laughing hard and suddenly, she was afraid to take a step further. She stood outside the door, trying to catch her breath and still her heartbeat. She could not avoid, however, overhearing what they were talking about within.
“Oh, come on, Monty! You cannot be serious.” Anne was certain it was Ernest speaking.
“I assure you all that I am.”
“Well.” She heard Horace say. “You’re a better man than I am.”
“Come, come, gentlemen! It’s not all that bad.”
They laughed.
“It’s not all that good, either.”
“Horace is right, Monty. Are you seriously saying you intend to marry that mouse, Anne?”
“Yes, Ern, I am.”
Again they laughed.
“What for?”
“Horace, you’re either a simpleton or very forgetful!” Monty laughed at his friend.
“Aye, Horace. Monty here is going to marry Anne for the house, the land, and all that delicious, filthy lucre the de Bourgh’s have.”
Anne gasped. Her heart beat faster. She feared that she was heard, but the men inside the room made far too much noise to hear her intake of breath.
“What about Nancy?”
“Ooh, Nancy Bishop!” Horace sucked in air through his teeth. “The hottest whore in Hackney!” Anne heard them laugh once more as her stomach knotted.
“Are you telling us that you’d give up that gorgeous strumpet for Anne de Bourgh?”
Anne moved to look through the crack of the door. Horace was pouring whisky into tumblers and Monty was smoking an enormous cigar.
“No.” He shook his head. “Never. No one could ever make me give up the best specimen of womanhood there has ever been on earth.”
“How on earth are you going to pull that off, then?” Ernest asked. “It’s widely known that Nancy is your mistress; Anne will discover you in time.”
Horace passed out the whisky tumblers and they drank before Monty replied.
“What any hot-blooded man would do when faced with such a conundrum.”
“And that is?” they prompted.
“Live here as little as I can, and live mostly in London. Do my duty by Anne, as quickly as possible, then hotfoot it back to London and Naughty Nancy!” His laugh made Anne shiver and feel nauseous. “After all, she’s the one I truly want. Shame she doesn’t have a fortune!” Their laughter hit Anne in the stomach with great force.
“What if Anne doesn’t get you an heir as easily as you wish?”
“Oh, she will. I’ll be amazed if she’s not with child by the end of the first two weeks of marriage, especially after what I plan to do with her.”
Their laughter made Anne’s head reel. She had heard enough. She turned around and fled as quickly as she could back to her room. She locked the door behind her and sat on the floor in the corner, crying her heart out.
* * *
Lady Catherine also heard every single word uttered in the billiards room. She was so shocked at what she heard that she debated bursting in on them and confronting Monty with the truth there and then. However, that would not do. She would then have to admit she had been spying and listening into a conversation the gentlemen assumed was private.
She returned to the drawing room quickly and sat alone, drinking tea and thinking. Before long, she could no longer stand to be there. She rang the bell and told the maid to inform the gentlemen that she was retiring.
Lady Catherine climbed the stairs to her room in a daze. It all seemed so ominously familiar to her.
It is the way of the world; men will be men, after all. Sir Lewis was exactly the same with me. A muscle in her face twitched. Yes, and it hurt me deeply. She sank down onto the chaise longue and allowed the tears to fall unabated. I cried for almost a sennight, and I refused him entry into my bedchamber after I discovered his paramour. I could not bear the thought of my own husband in the arms of another woman and then coming home to me. Isn’t that what young Montague just said? Live with the mistress in London, then come home “to do his duty”, get Anne with child, and then return to London as soon as possible to be with the woman he really wants. Is that what life has in store for Anne? Is that what I want for Anne? I had to endure it and eventually reconciled myself to it. Should my dear Anne do the same? She stood up and straightened her dress. She wiped her eyes as she headed for the door, her resolve as hard as granite. No, that is not what I want for Anne. I want more for her. I want to see her happy. I’d… She paused in the doorway. …like to see her smile.
* * *
Anne heard her mother knocking on the door to her room and calling her name, but she refused to answer. Moments later, Jeanette arrived, distraught and out of breath.
“Miss Anne, what are you doing on the floor in the corner? Your mother was knocking at your door. She is in one of her moods. She insists upon speaking to you.”
Anne stood up and, as she moved towards the maid, the moonlight fell upon her face.
Jeanette gasped. “What on earth has happened, Miss?”
Anne shook her head and her tears began again.
“Please, Miss. You can tell me.”
“No, Jeanette. I cannot.” She wiped her face with her handkerchief. “Jeanette, if you care about me at all, I beg of you to tell my mother I am asleep. I will speak to her tomorrow. I cannot face anyone tonight.”
“Yes, Milady, but what has happened?”
“Please, Jeanette. No more questions, I cannot…” Anne burst into tears again and sat on her bed.
“I shall be back soon, Miss, to help you undress.”
“No need. I shall do it myself.”
Anne watched Jeanette curtsey and depart. Then slowly, her tears still falling, Anne undressed herself and prepared for bed. As she closed her eyes that night, she dreaded what the next day would bring.
THIRTEEN
_______________________________
The next morning, Anne was up and out of bed bright and early. She made her mind up during that night that she would confront her mother, and that there was no way on earth she would be forced into marriage with Monty.
Anne rang the bell and a surprised Jeanette attended her. The girl hadn’t expected to see Anne up and about so early, but apart from puffy eyes, Anne looked full of life and ready to go. Indeed, she was. She was determined to seek her mother out and then flatly refuse Monty’s proposal, all before breakfast. She saw no reason to prolong the agony. She had suffered long enough over the whole sorry affair as it was. She no longer cared if she married or not. Yes, she knew she would have regrets, but if in marrying she had to live such a life as she overheard described last night, then spinsterhood was far preferable. Her cousin, Darcy, was married, and she was sure Richard Fitzwilliam would not be long a bachelor once he recovered from his heartbreak. She would leave her property and fortune to their children. She would be a benevolent and loving aunt to them all. That was a life she could choose and be content with.
Anne fidgeted on the stool. She always enjoyed having her hair dressed, but this morning it seemed to be taking an interminably long time.
Eventually, she snapped at Jeanette. “Just leave it simple this morning, Jeanette! Don’t fuss so!”
The young girl reddened and tears welled in her eyes. Anne immediately felt remorse and apologised. “I’m incredibly tetchy this morning, Jeanette. I am sorry.” She patted the girl on the hand. “Don’t take it personally; it’s not you.”
The girl sniffed but that seemed to placate her and she quickly finished her work. Anne wished she’d stayed quiet, as her hair was actually finished in good time. As she stood and straightened her skirt, Anne’s stomach knotted. She knew the first step was to confront her mother, and that was perhaps the most frightening thing she had ever done in the entire course of her life.
She left her room and tried her best to control her breathing as she descended the stairs. Her mother often rose late, but since the guests arrived, Lady Catherine was frequently found in her study attending to business before breakfast in order to free up the remainder of the day for more pleasurable pursuits.
Just as Anne suspected, Lady Catherine was sitting at her writing table in her study. Anne was reluctant to enter the room and stood watching her mother for some time, deciding what to do.
“Well, Anne, are you going to come in or not?” Lady Catherine’s voice bellowed out from across the room.
How her mother could tell that she was there was a mystery to Anne, as her back was towards her. She believed since childhood that her mother could see through walls. Anne stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.
“I suppose you’ve come to tell me your news.” Lady Catherine beamed as she turned around in her seat.
Anne swallowed hard and fixed her mother with a determined look. She was not going to bow out now; she couldn’t. “Yes, Mother. I have indeed come to speak with you.”
“But, Anne, you do not look pleased.” Lady Catherine rose, walked across the room, and reseated herself on the chaise. She patted the space on the chair next to her and Anne did as she was bid and sat down. “Now, tell me what is wrong.”
Anne rehearsed what she was going to say to her mother repeatedly throughout the night and that very morning. However, while looking upon her mother’s face, she felt her resolve weaken and tears threaten.
“Do not be reticent, child. Out with it.”
“Mother, I do not know how to say this without hurting your feelings.”
Lady Catherine raised her eyebrow and stared hard at Anne.
“There is no easy way for me to tell you this, so I will simply speak my mind.”
Lady Catherine nodded.
“Yesterday, as you are aware, I received an offer of marriage from Monty.”
“Hmm…yes?”
Anne swallowed hard. “Mama, I cannot and will not marry him. Nothing you can say or do will ever change my mind on the subject. I am immoveable.”
“And this is all you have to say on the matter?”
“Mama, I have much to say on the matter, but I feel it prudent to hold my tongue until you have responded.”
Lady Catherine nodded again. “Anne, I worry for you.”
“You do?” Anne was puzzled by this reaction.
“What is to become of you? Who will take care of you in your dotage if you have no children? I do not believe you have considered the matter sufficiently enough.”
Anne shook her head. She tried not to get angry. “Mama, with all due respect, that is a terrible reason to marry such a man as Montague Fitz-Herbert.”
“You will have fortune, two fine estates, and a home in London. Who knows how many carriages you will keep? You will, in short, want for nothing, and you are throwing away this opportunity.”
Anne nodded. “Yes.”
“For what reason, may I ask?”
Anne did not wish to admit to her mother that she had eavesdropped on a private conversation. “I am convinced that I could never make Monty happy, and that he could never make me so, either. I do believe that it is better to not marry at all than to marry for comfort and live in abject misery all one’s life.”
“Oh, tish! You will be rich enough to make yourself happy, Anne.” Lady Catherine rose and began to pace. “You have not thought this through at all, have you?” She turned to face Anne and crossed her arms.
Anne swallowed hard but would not be intimidated by her mother, not this time. She stood and faced her. “Yes, Mother, I have thought long and hard about this. I cannot and will not marry Monty, and that is my final word on the subject. I will thank you to respect that, Mama.”
Anne watched in horror as her mother shook her head and smiled. “I could insist. I could force you to marry, Anne.”
“You could, but I do not believe you would.” Anne’s heart beat so quickly that she believed it would fail from fear.
Anne watched her mother stare at her in silence. Had she won? Had her mother actually accepted what she wanted for the first time?
“No.” Lady Catherine stepped forward. “I cannot accept this. I feel it is the best thing for you to accept. I suggest you seek Monty out this instant and be done with it.”
Anne shook her head. She thought she would cry but instead, her anger rose.
“Run along! Do as I say, Anne.” Lady Catherine demanded as she pointed to the door.
“No!” Anne virtually screamed at her.
“I beg your pardon!”
Something inside Anne snapped. “You heard me, Mother. Too long have I lived under your shadow, Mother. Too long have I allowed you to determine how I feel each day, what I do, and what I do not do. No longer will I allow it!” Anne took a deep breath, and despite her mother’s shocked face, continued. “I am, and have always been, utterly mollycoddled! I was born into privilege and yet I have experienced less of life than the daughter of the poorest of farmers. It shall not continue. I cannot allow it. I want to make the decisions in my life. I want to decide whether I marry or not. I want to decide what to do each day.”
Lady Catherine reached behind her for a chair and sat down again as she stared at Anne in shock.
“Mama, I want to know what it feels like to ride a horse, regardless of whether or not I fall and break my neck. I want to go for long walks and get caught out in the rain. Oh, I want to feel each drop of rain on my face, and I care not if I catch my death of cold. Look at me, cloistered and alone. I am sure that I am a laughingstock in society. Well, no longer! From this moment on, I will make all of my own decisions, from what to eat to the temperature of my own bathwater. I shall be dictated to no more, Mother, especially with regards to whom I marry or do not marry!” She stuck out her chin and turned to march out of the study, leaving her astonished mother behind her. As she reached for the door handle, a thought occurred to her and she spun around. “I am Anne de Bourgh. I hail from hearty stock. I am not sick, and I know my own mind!” With that, she flung the door open and headed towards the gardens, and thence for the stable block, where she intended to ask someone there to help her learn to ride for the first time in her life.
Lady Catherine sm
iled and then followed her daughter out. At last.
* * *
Anne reached the gravel path between the formal garden and the stables when she heard the crunch of footsteps behind her. She turned and saw her mother had followed her. However, instead of stopping and speaking with Anne, she continued past. “Come along,” she said, and Anne stared after her. “Hurry up!”
Anne almost ran to catch up to her mother. She could not understand what was happening, but was inquisitive enough to find out.
Once in the stables, Lady Catherine dismissed the stable boy and she and Anne were left to speak unhindered.
“So, you wish to learn to ride?”
“I do.”
“And what if you fall and break your neck?”
“Mama, what are the chances of that happening?”
“It does happen and can happen.”
“Aye, I grant you that.” Anne would not be persuaded against riding.
Lady Catherine looked uncomfortable. “Will you…” She sniffed and looked down at her shoes. “Will you at least grant me the favour of waiting until your cousin, Richard, returns from Spain so he can teach you to ride? I would feel better if it were he.”
Anne smiled. “With pleasure, Mama!”
Then, Anne was treated to a rare pleasure. Lady Catherine smiled and laughed with her.
After a while, Lady Catherine became serious again and asked, “And you are still adamant that you will not marry Montague?”
Anne sighed and decided to head back to the house. There was no point in hashing it out forever. “Mother, an unhappy future awaits me. You are intent on forcing me to marry Fitz-Herbert, a man whom I do not love. I shall never speak to you again if I do!”
Rosings Page 12