There was more. There were things that I’d ignored—good things, like love and happiness. Things like the warmth of her body next to mine, and the bolt of lightning that passed through my chest every time she smiled. I thought my life’s purpose was to avenge my parents’ death.
Now, I wasn’t so sure.
I drove back to my apartment, ready to tell her everything. I’d tell her about my parents, and about her father. I’d tell her about Balmoral and his GPS manufacturing company. I’d tell her about the Russians and explain why she was in danger. I didn’t care about security clearances or the operation anymore. I just wanted to make sure Sadie was safe, protected, and that she wasn’t scared and alone.
When I got home, the house was too quiet. All the lights were off. The kitchen was cleaned up, all the food put away. I poked my head in the library, but she wasn’t there.
My heart started to thump when I saw that she wasn’t in her room either. My mouth went dry and I started walking faster. I called out to her, my voice echoing off the bare walls. I ran from room to room, bursting through doors and feeling my heart sink more and more with every passing second.
When I was sure she was gone, I felt like throwing up. My stomach lurched and my heart pounded. Her clothes and toiletries were still in her room, so she hadn’t run away.
She’d been taken.
Somehow, her father had figured out where she was—or maybe Ivanov. Blanchet had shown his hand by rushing over there, and now Ivanov really did want the upper hand. He’d taken her, and the sadistic fuck was probably all over her right now.
I was done. Exposed. Ruined. My cover was blown.
But worst of all, Sadie was in danger.
The thought of the old Russian’s hands on my Sadie made the rage boil over in my veins. I grabbed my car keys and rushed back downstairs, flying towards the front door.
That’s when I heard the latch click on the back door.
With my heart pounding, I stood still. Slowly, quietly, I unholstered my gun and pointed it at the floor in front of me. I took a deep breath, using a second or two to allow calm and focus to settle over me. The familiar feelings of discipline, adrenaline, and danger started flowing through my body. I slid along the wall, choosing my steps carefully to stop the floorboards from creaking. I could hear footsteps—slow, tentative footsteps making their way towards me.
It didn’t sound like a big man like Grigory or one of the other Russians. The steps were quiet and light.
Any second now, the intruder would come around the corner.
I was ready. My hands were steady, and my breath was calm. Whoever it was, they were no match for me. I had a decade and a half of training and righteous fury on my side. I kept my eyes on the corner of the hallway as the steps came closer, and closer, and closer.
They would be in my line of sight in three… two… one…
“Fuck, Sadie!”
I dropped the gun to my side as her eyes darted from my face to my gun and back up to my face. I flicked on the safety and holstered the pistol. She stood frozen in place, her pink lips parted slightly.
“Where were you?” My voice was hard. Adrenaline was still coursing through my veins, and my tension was quickly dissolving into anger.
“I was out,” she said, jutting her chin out defiantly.
Fuck, I liked it when she talked back to me. I took a step towards her.
“You shouldn’t be out.”
Her nostrils flared. “So, what, I’m supposed to just stay cooped up in here? I don’t know you, Zane. I have no idea what the fuck is going on or who the fuck I’m supposed to trust. You talk to me like I’m a fucking child. This is my life!”
Her chest was heaving, and all I wanted to do was slam her against the wall and bury my cock deep inside her. Maybe it was the anger, or the adrenaline, or how worried I’d been for her life. Maybe it was just hearing her swear at me, and seeing her face get flushed with emotion.
My cock strained against my pants and I nodded.
“You’re right.”
I took a step towards her. Her eyes widened and her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. She bit her lip.
“I am?”
“I owe you an explanation.”
The last thing I wanted to do was talk. I had to tell her what was going on, but my body was on fire. I took one more step and reached up to tuck a strand of wild red hair behind her ear.
“I was worried when I saw that you were gone.”
Her eyebrows drew together and she let out a long sigh. She tilted her cheek towards my hand, and I stroked her soft skin with my thumb.
“You were?”
“I thought you’d been taken away.”
“By who?”
I just shook my head.
She bit her lip. “I went to see Mags.”
I let out a sigh, wrapping my arms around her. Sadie melted into me. She was trembling. She was so small, and slight, and I hated myself for scaring her like that. I should be the person making her feel better, not scaring her half to death.
I wasn’t on my own anymore. I could walk around with my gun ready to unload on anyone who turned the corner.
Somehow, she’d gotten under my skin, and surprisingly, I was okay with it. Whatever this operation was turning into, with Blanchet and the Russians and Balmoral… my focus had shifted.
It wasn’t about revenge anymore, it was about her.
Keeping her safe, getting her out, making her happy. That was my new mission.
Somehow, in the past couple of weeks, Sadie had shown me something new. Something that felt deeper than revenge, more real than a decade and a half of rage and bitterness. She’d blown my walls wide open and stared into my black heart, coaxing it back to life.
This operation had a new objective: get Sadie out of this mess.
She tilted her face up towards me. Her lips parted and her pupils dilated as she curled her fingers into my chest. She pressed herself against me, and I knew it was over. She was mine, and I was hers. I would die for this woman. I’d protect her with everything I had, and I would do anything to make sure she got out of this nightmare alive.
Whether or not I would get out of it with her was another story.
“Zane…” she said softly, running her hands up to my collarbones.
I couldn’t wait any longer. I crushed my lips against hers. She reached up and tangled her fingers into my hair, deepening our kiss. I pulled her body against mine and an animalistic, primal urge rose inside me.
I needed her.
I needed to claim her. I needed to show her what it meant to be with a man, to show her that I was the man for her. All she needed was me.
All I needed was her.
As she scraped her teeth along my lower lip, my cock throbbed. She felt it, rolling her hips towards me as she whimpered. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist.
“Zane…” She sighed into my kiss, squeezing her legs against me. The heat from her center was calling to me. I was aching for her.
She pulled away from me, stroking my face with her delicate fingers. “Take me to your bed.”
I started walking without saying a word. That was one order I was more than willing to obey.
16
Sadie
Zane laid me down on the bed and draped his body on top of mine. He kissed me tenderly. I’d never been kissed like this before. It made my whole body tingle with anticipation as the two of us sank down into the pillows. I could feel his cock grinding against my stomach, long and hot and hard. I reached down between us and touched him over his pants.
He growled. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought you’d left.”
I stroked. “I wouldn’t leave like that.”
“No?”
He kissed my neck, dragging his tongue over its sensitive skin. I shivered.
“No. You make me feel safe, Zane. You’re the only one who cares.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
He rolled his hips towards me, and heat blossomed in the pit of my stomach. “Why what?” He growled.
“Why do you care about me?”
He stopped kissing me, lifting himself up to lean on his elbows. He stroked my hair and exhaled slowly.
“You were nice to me, when we were kids.”
I laughed, widening my eyes. I spread my knees wider and squeezed my thighs against him. “So this is what, like paying me back for being nice to you when I was twelve?”
A grin twitched at his lips, and I longed to see him smile again. He touched his nose to mine, his hands still stroking my hair.
“You were the only one who treated me like a person—and my parents, too. They loved you.”
I smiled, tears clouding my eyes. I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed him softly. “I feel the same way. Your parents… they saw me. I mean, they really saw me. I wasn’t just a lump of clay that they were trying to shape into a perfect little daughter. I was sad when your parents left, and I was even more sad when you left.”
He growled, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against mine.
“Your parents… where did they go?”
He sighed and rolled off me. My heart ached, and I worried that I’d said something wrong. I turned towards him, placing my hand on his chest. He folded his arms under his head and stared at the ceiling.
“Before your father ran for Senate, he fired them. They’d been working for him for twenty fucking years, and he got rid of them like he was throwing out the trash.”
I frowned, stroking my fingers back and forth over his chest.
“Why did he fire them?”
Zane sighed. “Because they were from Iraq. They’d been successful business people over there, and had run away when things in the village turned against them. Small town politics, you know? Then, things got more dangerous over there, and they had to leave. They moved to the States and dedicated themselves to their life here. They cut all ties with people back home—it was too dangerous for them. But they weren’t dangerous. My father was a good man. He left Iraq to start a family with my mother. They believed in the American dream.”
“And my father didn’t want Iraqi people working for him.”
“It would look bad for the election.”
“Oh my gosh, Zane…”
“And in order to keep them quiet, he got them deported. They’d been here legally, but the political climate here was… tense. All he had to do was mention it to Homeland Security, and they were out. “
His face soured and he took a deep breath. “I was born here, so they couldn’t deport me. I was put into the system, given a new social security number and my past was erased to protect your father. I was alone, with nowhere to turn, no family, nothing.”
“What happened to your parents? Are they okay?”
Zane closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head gently. My heart broke.
“Is that why you’re back? To make sure my father gets put in prison?”
He turned towards me, as if he was seeing me for the first time. He reached over and stroked my cheek.
“It was, yes. Prison, or worse. For fifteen years, I dreamt of this—coming back and avenging my parents. But now, I’m not so sure.”
“What changed?” My voice was a squeak, choked by emotion. He spoke about my father being locked up or killed with such calm that it scared me. At the same time, I understood.
His hand cupped my cheek, and his eyes darkened. He sighed.
“I saw you, and everything changed.”
My heart thumped. This time, when he kissed me, it didn’t have the restless intensity of his other embraces. He melted into me and pulled my body against his, as if that’s exactly where I belonged.
It was where I belonged. He caged me against the bed and kissed me like nothing else existed. His body sank on top of mine and I wrapped myself around him. We were two pieces of a puzzle, finally reunited.
My heart beat for him. For his pain, for his sorrow, for his life. It thumped against my ribcage, wanting to be the salve that would heal the cuts and bruises of his past.
He rolled his hips against me and desire sparked. I pulled up his shirt, running my hands across his rugged body. He tore his top off over his head and then undressed me. Every inch of skin that he exposed, he covered with his lips. Lifting my shirt up, he kissed my stomach. He unclasped my bra and swirled his tongue around one nipple, and then the other. His rough hands ran over my body, memorizing every curve.
I sank my fingers into his flesh. His muscles rippled and stretched with every movement, sinewy and strong and masculine. I didn’t feel uncomfortable or nervous—I felt like this was exactly where I was meant to be. It felt like this is what I’d been waiting for. I wasn’t saving myself for marriage, I was saving myself for Zane.
When he pulled my pants down, he took my underwear with them. Sliding his hands back up my legs, he ran his tongue along the inside of my thigh. I whimpered, spreading my legs a little bit wider for him.
I never thought it would be this easy to be with a man. I thought I’d be embarrassed, nervous, and shy. But Zane opened me up and made me feel like I was a queen. He kissed my inner thigh, blowing cool air over my slit as he moved to kiss the other side. I shivered, rolling my hips towards him.
“Zane, I’ve never…”
He glanced up at me. I bit my lip.
“I’ve never done this before.”
“You’ve never had your pussy eaten?”
I shook my head. He dropped a kiss on my mound, right at the top of my slit. I inhaled.
“Tell me if it’s too much.”
I nodded, and he wrapped his arms around my thighs. First, he kissed my slit slowly from top to bottom. When his tongue slid out and lapped up the honey at my opening, I gasped. He moved his tongue up towards my clit and I squeezed my eyes shut, whimpering at every touch.
He moved slowly, letting me get used to every new sensation. Zane twirled his tongue around my clit gently at first, and then faster and faster until my hips were bucking and I panted against the pillows. Right when I thought I was going to come, he pulled his mouth away and moved lower.
When his tongue slid into my opening, my eyes widened. He groaned, sliding his thick tongue in and out of me. Lifting his head up for a moment, he shook his head.
“You taste so fucking good, angel.”
“I do?”
He groaned in response, diving his head back down between my legs and fucking me with his tongue. His fingers sank into my thighs, spreading my legs wider as he devoured me.
He didn’t stop. My legs started shaking and I cried out in ecstasy, and still he didn’t stop.
“Come for me,” he growled, sliding his tongue up and down my swollen lips. “Come all over this dirty tongue.” His voice was a low growl, and it only made the fire inside me burn hotter. I flew over the edge, plunging head-first into the third orgasm of my life.
My body spasmed, my thighs squeezing his ears as my back arched. A scream escaped my lips and Zane moaned into my center. I pulled his hair, scraped my nails along his back and held onto him until my body stopped shaking.
He laid one more soft kiss on my mound, and then crawled up towards me. When he kissed me, I hesitated. I could taste myself on his lips. But when he moaned into my lips, I knew that’s what he wanted. I kissed him hard, tasting my own orgasm as he growled against me.
“No other man can make you feel like that.” He rolled his hips against me and his steel-hardened shaft pressed against my stomach. “You hear me? Nobody.”
“I know,” I gasped.
“I’m the only man you’ll ever need.”
“You’re the only one I want.”
My body was still trembling, and I could feel the blood pulsing between my legs. A deep, primal need ached within me. I felt an emptiness in my womb like never before, and I knew that it was because of him. Zane had awoken it inside me.
He was the only man for me. The only
man I’d ever want, and the only man I’d ever need. I reached down to unbutton his pants.
“I’m ready, Zane,” I panted between embraces. “I’m ready for you.”
17
Zane
“I’m ready,” she said. Those two words nearly made me lose control. She undid the button of my pants, and as soon as she unzipped them, my cock jumped towards her. Without hesitating, she reached into my boxers and wrapped her fingers around it.
I groaned.
“Fuck, Sadie.”
She looked at me, wide-eyed, biting her lower lip.
“You sure?” I wanted her so badly, but I wasn’t going to do anything she didn’t want to do. She’d been through so much over the past couple weeks, and the last thing I wanted to do was add to her turmoil.
I wanted to treat her right. I wanted to make her feel like the queen that she was. I wanted to take this only as far as she wanted, and show her that I cared.
When I was with her, I wanted to be a better man. I wanted to love.
I didn’t understand my feelings, I just knew, deep in my heart, that Sadie had changed everything. I’d spent so much time wanting revenge—so much time sinking deep into my own bitter hatred—that I didn’t understand how she could change everything so easily.
Her easy kindness and overwhelming empathy made me want to be different.
I’d told her part of the story about my parents. I hadn’t told her what happened when I looked for them during my first tour in Iraq. I couldn’t talk about that… Not yet.
Sadie looked at me, stroking my cheek. She smiled and nodded.
“I’m sure, Zane. I’m twenty-four years old, if I’m not ready now, I never will be.” She bit her lip. “I feel like… I don’t know, Zane, I feel like it was always meant to be you.”
My heart thumped. I pressed my lips against hers as my heart melted into her.
She stroked my cock and then suddenly stopped. “Hold on.”
Sadie slipped out from under me and ran over to the bathroom door. She grabbed my towel off the hook and laid it out on top of the bed.
The Protector: The Complete C.I.A. Romance Series Page 13