by Kennedy Fox
BRIE
Christmas music played through the speaker of my phone as I danced around my room. Justin watched me from my bed, rolling his eyes as the corner of his lips tipped up in a smile. I bounced on the mattress on my knees, jumping a few times as his mouth spread into a grin.
“You’re ridiculous,” he said as my duffel bag bobbed next to him.
“And you love it.” I bopped him on the nose before I climbed off the bed, straightening my robe.
Justin was my best friend and had been since middle school when my family had moved to California from Washington. I’d been the awkward new girl, and he’d never made me feel anything but cool, accepted, seen.
“You’re the one wearing a sweater that says—” I pointed my finger at his chest, unable to repeat it without laughing. “Well, that.”
He frowned down at said sweater, a green knit number that read “When I think about you, I touch my elf.” And had an actual stuffed elf strategically placed at his waist. When I’d opened the door for him earlier, I’d burst out laughing.
“Aww. Don’t get all shy on me now,” he teased.
“I’m not!” I protested, placing my hands on my hips as I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why do you always act like I’m such a prude?”
“Because you never want to talk about sex.”
Maybe because I hadn’t had any in nearly six months. Not since my last breakup. But Justin didn’t need to know that. It was too embarrassing to admit, even to my best friend.
I spun and headed for my closet to finish getting dressed. “It’s just weird. Okay? Talking about sex with you.”
“Why?” he asked. “We talk about everything else.”
He was right. Justin knew everything about me—more than anyone else in my life. Yet, I couldn’t talk to him about sex. It just felt…wrong somehow. And I refused to hear about his sex life. Probably because mine was so nonexistent.
“Is Violet’s mystery man coming?” he asked, referring to my older sister. I was grateful for the change of subject.
“She said he was, but we’ll see. I mean, they’ve been dating for months now, and no one’s met him.”
“Maybe he’s married,” Justin said, his baritone voice wafting into the closet and vibrating straight into my heart.
I dropped my robe to the floor and pulled on a pair of leggings before grabbing my sweater from the rack. Every year, my family tried to outdo one another with the most outrageous Christmas sweater. The winner got a nice bottle of liquor, and Justin was almost always the victor—at least, since we’d turned twenty-one a handful of years ago. I half wondered if it was because my mom loved him. She’d never treated any of the guys I’d dated half as well as she did Justin. And though I knew she thought of him as a son, we’d never been anything more than friends.
“I don’t know.” I tugged the sweater over my head. “Apparently, she told my mom she has an announcement.”
“Oh shit. Do you think Violet’s pregnant?”
I laughed, though the thought had crossed my mind. Violet was hiding something, that much I knew. She’d been pulling away the past few months, and though I tried to pretend nothing had changed, it stung.
“I don’t think that’s it.”
“What’s Kate doing for the holidays? Are her parents still not talking to her?” he asked.
I shook my head, thinking of my other best friend and former roommate. She’d moved in with her boyfriend earlier in the semester, a hot professor at the art school we attended, though I’d just graduated. Their relationship had raised a few eyebrows but hadn’t technically broken any rules. So, it was all good. Well, except with her family.
“Thanksgiving went relatively well, but they’re spending Christmas with his mom and brother.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah. She seems really happy, and I’m happy for her.” I adjusted the neckline of my sweater so the red lace of my bralette peeked out from the loose, low V neck and then messed with my curls.
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
I laughed. Justin knew me too well. “I just worry about her. She hasn’t known him that long and already moved in with him.”
“Can’t see yourself doing that?”
I shook my head before remembering he couldn’t see me. “I feel like I’d want to date someone at least a year before even considering moving in with them. But Xander clearly adores her, and she’s happy.”
“Then what are you so concerned about?”
I frowned at my reflection, trying to formulate a good response. “I’m not.”
“But something’s bothering you.”
Maybe it was the fact that everyone seemed to be moving on but me. My sister had this new boyfriend, and it sounded serious. Kate had Xander, and they’d moved in together. Even Justin was moving on—literally. He’d accepted a new job in Colorado. My eyes stung with unshed tears, and I forced them away. I’d miss him, but we’d keep in touch. We had to.
I tugged on my heeled booties and threw a leather jacket over my shoulder, knowing it might be cool out. Well, cool for LA. Los Angeles didn’t have a winter per se. There would be no white Christmas. But the holiday spirit was certainly in the air. It was evident in everything from the decorated shop windows to the music playing over the stereo to the tree in my living room.
I leaned against the doorframe, waiting for Justin to glance up. His auburn hair was loosely styled as if he’d spent a day on the beach. His jaw was set in a line, his attention focused on something on his phone. He looked entirely too serious for my liking.
I cleared my throat, enjoying the way his eyes raked up my body. I told myself I was imagining his reaction, wanting to read something into it that wasn’t there, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d always had a bit of a crush on him. How could I not? He was handsome in a rakish sort of way. Charming. And kind. But above all—he got me. He knew how to make me laugh. He knew what to say when I was upset. And he’d been there—by my side—for some of the biggest moments in my life.
Okay, maybe saying I had a crush was an understatement. But I’d never pursued it. He was my friend, my best friend. And even though everyone always said we’d make the perfect couple, I honestly couldn’t envision it. Despite a drunken kiss one New Year’s Eve, he’d never hinted at wanting anything more. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to screw up a decade-long friendship. Even if I did compare every other guy to him.
I bit back a smile as I watched his expression morph from one of appreciation to disgust as he actually took in the awesomeness that was my sweater. I was in it to win it this year.
“Wow.” He swallowed. “That’s disturbing.”
I laughed, plucking the fabric away from my chest to admire the image. The words “Jingle Balls” were printed on the sweater, and two huge, hairy balls were front and center on my breasts.
I dropped the fabric, the material draping over my skin. I adjusted the neckline so it laid just right again. “See. I’m not a prude.”
“I never said you were.” He swung his legs over the side of my bed and stood.
I grabbed my earrings from the dresser, a pair of snowflakes I wore every year. Justin had given them to me our first year of college, and they were one of my most prized possessions. Not a Christmas went by that I wasn’t wearing them. And in all the years we’d been friends, we’d rarely spent the holidays apart. Despite distance, despite time, despite dating other people, we’d never let anything get in the way of our friendship.
Justin came to stand beside me, draping his arm over my shoulder. He smiled at me in the mirror, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “You ready?”
“To dominate?” I teased, giving his waist a squeeze.
Even in my heeled boots he towered over me. He could easily rest his chin on my head, and he often did. I loved how we fit together, and looking at our reflection, I envied the handsome couple in the mirror. They were everything I wanted and nothing I’d ever have.
“Obviously.”
He pressed his lips to my forehead, and I tore my eyes away from the mirror. “Come on, Pocket.” He removed his arm, and I immediately felt the loss of his touch. “Let’s go.”
I remained there a moment, telling myself to get it together. That was it. No more Hallmark holiday specials. No more holiday-themed romance novels. Okay—that wasn’t happening, but whatever.
Justin paused when he realized I hadn’t moved. “Hey.” He crouched down to meet my eyes. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I flashed him a bright smile. “Of course. The question is,” I said, swaying my hips as I backed away, “are you going to be okay when I take home the title of best worst sweater and…the whiskey.”
He scoffed, tossing my duffel bag over his shoulder. “In your dreams.”
“Whatever. This sweater—” I pointed at my chest, gratified when his attention lingered on my breasts “—is a winner.”
He chuckled as I locked the door behind us. “Even if you do somehow miraculously manage to win, you know the deal.”
“We share the goods.” I held out my pinkie for a pinkie promise. He linked his with mine, his blue eyes smiling at me the way they always had—as my friend. Nothing more.
We hopped in Justin’s truck, and I immediately turned on the Christmas station. As we made the three-hour drive to my parents’ house, I marveled at the decorations along the way. All the while, he asked me questions about my latest clients, excited that my graphic design business was going so well. I worked on everything from branding for realtors to covers for romance novels—those were my favorite. And I’d been taking on more of them lately. Justin had always been supportive of my work, always encouraged me to charge more than I planned because he believed in me.
“So, how’s the house hunt going?” I asked, dreading the answer. In a few weeks, he’d be moving to Colorado, and I didn’t know what I was going to do without him.
“Pretty well. I think I found one I like. You’d love it. It overlooks the mountains, and it’s got this huge outdoor deck.”
“Sounds nice but too cold for me.” I shuddered dramatically as if to emphasize my point.
He laughed. “In the winter, maybe. But I’ll get a patio heater for the rest of the year. You should come with me.”
I nodded, not sure what else to say. He’d joked about me moving with him, but I knew that was all it was—a joke. Meanwhile, I was still in denial about the whole thing. Imagining him in a new house, a new city—far away from here—made my stomach clench.
“Of course I’ll visit,” I said, surprised when his face fell.
He dropped the subject, and we drove in silence for a while, listening to the road noise, the songs on the radio. It was nice, peaceful. Whenever I was with Justin, I felt content, relaxed.
When we arrived at my parents’ house, the sun was setting, the outdoor lights already on. The house was decked out for the holidays, lights and music and blow-up figures covering the yard. Justin carried our bags up the steps to the front door as I catalogued the new additions. The door swung open before we could even knock, and my mom greeted us at the threshold, our dog, Muffie, under her arm.
“Justin! So good to see you.” She pulled him in for a big hug.
“Nice to see you too, Mrs. C.”
“Oh, please. You know you can call me Mom.”
I rolled my eyes, but I honestly loved how close they were. “Hey, Mom.”
“Oh hi, honey.” She hugged me, placing a kiss on my cheek. “Look at you two. Always so…well…coordinated.”
I laughed. She was one to talk; her sweater had a sheep on it with the words “Fleece Navidad” printed over it. Less vulgar than Justin’s and mine but still funny, nevertheless.
I stepped farther inside, smiling when I saw the Christmas tree waiting to be decorated. It was family tradition after all—trimming the tree together. We’d end the evening with dinner and a Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street. I couldn’t wait for the day I’d have my own family and get to continue these traditions with them.
“Is Violet here yet?” I glanced around.
Mom scratched Muffie’s head as we followed her to the kitchen. “Nope. And your father’s outside, messing with the smoker.”
“I thought we agreed that was a terrible idea,” I said, handing her the box with the cookies I’d made. They were Justin’s favorite—candy-cane-shaped cookies that tasted of almond and were topped with crushed peppermints.
“Hey! Were you holding out on me?” he asked, backing me toward the counter as my mom went outside to get my dad.
What had started as teasing quickly turned serious. Our hips were nearly touching, his scent wrapping around me like a treasured quilt. He was so firmly woven into the tapestry of my life, and it was times like these I ached for more. I sucked in a jagged breath as he lifted his hand as if to touch my lips. And then the doorbell rang, and he dropped his hand and stepped away.
“Can you get that, sweetie?” Mom called, the dog barking and squirming to get free from her hold.
“Sure,” I called over my shoulder as I headed for the front door.
Did I just imagine that? I wondered as I struggled to compose myself.
I spied my sister’s silhouette as well as a man’s through the beveled glass door. I smiled, excited to finally meet her elusive boyfriend. But then I opened the door and staggered backward.
“Evan?”
My ex-boyfriend. The guy I’d dated for two years until six months ago when we’d broken up because “we just want different things”—his words, not mine. What was he doing here? With her?
“Hey.” Violet pushed past me, her jacket pulled tightly around her. Evan followed, giving me a sheepish grin.
“Is that you, Violet?” Mom called but stopped short when she spotted Evan standing with my sister. Everything and everyone seemed to freeze, including time. My brain was still trying to make sense of what I was seeing.
“Everything okay?” Justin asked, coming to stand at my side. He placed his hand on my lower back, giving me strength. Support.
“Um, hey. So, everyone…” Violet swallowed. “You remember Evan, right?”
“What’s he doing here?” Justin all but growled.
“We’re, um…” Violet glanced to Evan as if seeking reassurance. “We’re together.”
I gaped at Violet. Was she freaking kidding me? He’d been my boyfriend first. Not that I wanted him—not anymore. Ugh. But seriously, he was dating my sister? And she’d been sneaking around, lying about it.
Before anyone could say anything, Dad stepped inside. “Ta-da!” He bumped the door with his hip to close it and held up a large platter topped with brisket.
“I was going to leave it out there a little longer, but I didn’t want to brisket.” No one laughed or even groaned at his joke.
Dad glanced between us, lowering the platter as his smile followed. Perhaps sensing the tension in the room, he set it on the counter. “Dinner’s ready. Why don’t you take your jackets off and come inside?”
I glared at him, feeling like I’d been betrayed. Seriously?
Evan helped my sister out of her coat—something he’d never done for me. I could barely look at her, but I couldn’t ignore the words printed on her shirt. “Last Christmas as a Miss.”
What the… Was this a joke?
Justin pulled me closer to him, and his scent was calming, blanketing me with so many good memories. “Congratulations,” he interjected, making me wonder what I’d said aloud. “We actually have some news of our own.”
I turned to peer up at him, caught off guard by his touch and his words. Not that we didn’t touch—because we did. It had often been a source of conflict between Evan and me when we were dating.
“You do?” Mom asked, completely ignoring the fact that my sister had just announced her engagement. To my ex. An ex I thought I’d never see again, let alone sit across from at Christmas dinner for—well, forever. As my sister’s husband.
“Brie and I are dating,”
Justin said.
My eyes widened, and I tried to keep up with everything that was happening. My sister was marrying my ex. And apparently, I was dating my best friend. It was… Wait. What?
“Finally,” Dad’s voice boomed from the kitchen at the same time Mom said, “Oh, I’m so happy. This is the best Christmas gift ever,” with tears in her eyes.
“Um, hey,” Violet whined. “What about us?” She gestured between her and Evan. “We’re engaged.”
I ground my teeth, biting back a comment. I couldn’t believe she…she’d—but then Justin was massaging my shoulder, his touch calming.
“Right.” Mom dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “That’s great, honey. So much to be thankful for.”
“I knew it,” Evan said, his tone smug. “I always knew there was something between you two.”
Yeah, and he’d rarely shut up about it. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Stellar. This Christmas was off to a great start.
Violet stomped off toward the kitchen, and Evan seemed torn between following her and staying, before finally caving. My parents joined them, and I was grateful for a moment alone with Justin.
“What were you thinking?” I hissed once they were out of earshot.
He lifted a shoulder. “I’d do anything to make you happy.” He tucked my curls behind my ear, though a few sprung free. “You know that, Pocket.”
Did I? I mean, as a friend, yes. Of course. But he wasn’t looking at me like a friend. There was something…more there. Something I hadn’t seen before. And it sparked hope within me, blazing like a beacon.
“You two coming?” Dad called, breaking the spell.
“Be right there,” I said before lowering my voice. “What are we going to do now?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Just roll with it. It’ll be fine. You trust me, right?”
“Always,” I said immediately, though I wasn’t sure I could. At least not when it came to my heart.
Chapter Two
JUSTIN
“I can’t believe you two kept this a secret.” Mrs. C’s eyes glittered with excitement and delight as we sat around the dinner table. “I mean, how long has this been going on?”