“We’re aware,” Victor said. “We’ve been following the news.”
“Why?” I asked, looking at my mother. “Why did you allow everyone to think you were dead? Were you afraid? Was that it? Did my father abuse you?”
“No. He was never abusive. He just wasn’t…the love of my life.”
I gaped at her. “You could have just divorced him. Why pretend that you’re dead?”
“We did divorce, but we did it quietly so no one knew. When I initially married John, his wealth and his friendship with the royal family mesmerized me, but in the end, he wasn’t…”
“He wasn’t what?” I waited for her to tell me he wasn’t kind to her, that he wasn’t loving.
“He wasn’t very exciting after all. He was just a typical guy, and I quickly realized I didn’t love him.”
I stared at her, my heart pounding, anger seeping through my veins. “You had a daughter, a daughter you abandoned.”
She winced. “I was never cut out for parenting, Annette. You don’t remember, but I wasn’t around. You had a nanny to care for your needs. I just couldn’t stand to be there anymore.” She glanced at Victor. “The first time Victor took me out on his yacht, I knew he was the one. We planned to run away to Nice, but John was embarrassed. He said the scandal would hurt his reputation, so he came up with the story of me falling off the yacht. He paid off the police and created this hoax so everyone would think I died.”
“And you were willing to go along with it?”
“He offered me a great deal of money, so yes, I was willing.”
“Did either of you consider how that would affect me?” I put a hand over my heart, more angry than sad at the moment. “Or was I just in the way?”
“I did consider you. Sure, I could have taken you with me, but John was a good father, and I knew you would be okay with him.”
“Wow,” I said, standing. “How selfless of you.”
“Wait,” she said, rising to her feet. “I never meant to hurt you, Annette. We all believed it would be easier for you to accept if you thought I’d passed away.”
“Maybe you should have let me go on thinking that.” A tear dribbled down my face and landed on my neck. “This feels like…rejection.”
Edward came over and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, drawing me to his side. “We can go or stay. It’s up to you.”
I glanced at my mother and continued. “You need to understand what your leaving did to me. I may not remember most of what I felt growing up, but after reading my journal, I can tell you, I was obsessed with finding out what really happened to you. I thought...” My voice cracked. “I thought Victor might have killed you.”
Her bottom lip trembled and tears streamed down her face. “I’m sorry. I made a mistake.”
I nodded. “Yes, you did.”
“If you want…we can…get to know each other.”
“You say that like it’s a consolation prize.”
“No.” She shook her head violently. “I mean it. I really want to get to know the woman you’ve become.”
I let out a strangled laugh. “Welcome to the club. I don’t even know who I am anymore.” I glanced at Edward. “I need to get out of here.”
He sprang into action, ushering me out the front door as my mother…as Margaret cried loudly in the family room. Neither she nor Victor followed after us, and that was just as well because I was so upset at that point, I would have probably created a huge scene at their bed-and-breakfast.
Once we were safely back at Westbridge Castle, I declined to go to the dining room for dinner, preferring instead to have a tray of food brought up. Edward offered to stay with me, but I told him to go ahead. I needed time to myself to absorb everything that happened.
I sat on my bed and opened my Bible, flipping through and reading random passages. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but I wanted something that would bring me peace. I finally stumbled upon Psalm 27 and read until I came to verse ten.
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.
That was all it took. Tears streamed down my face and I began to sob, feeling as if the weight of the world was about to crush me. The stress of the last few weeks rained down on me like a giant storm, and it seemed as if my heart was breaking. It wasn’t so much that I missed my mother—I didn’t even remember her—but I felt her abandonment so acutely that my body trembled violently.
I had resisted putting my trust in the Lord, but I sensed Him tugging at my heart once again. When we were in Tuscany, and I had escaped to the bathroom, I had sensed then that whatever answers I found wouldn’t get rid of the ache, and how right I had been. Knowing my mother was alive only made it worse because she hadn’t been taken from me like I’d thought—she’d walked away willingly.
I read Psalm 27:10 again, and it brought a sense of calm. The Lord would take me in, and that was all that mattered.
Lord, I need you. Please forgive me for my sin and help me to trust You. I give my life to You. I give it all to You.
I continued to pray until I fell asleep on my bed. Sometime later, I woke to Edward draping a blanket over me and kissing me on the forehead. I was groggy, so I kept my eyes closed.
“Je t'aime, Annette. Je t'aime.”
He remained one more moment and then walked out of the room.
“I love you too,” I whispered. And then I fell back asleep.
Chapter 15
Annette
Several days passed, and the pain of seeing my mother lessened just a little. It helped that I didn’t remember her in my younger years, so I didn’t have a point of reference to refer to. When I confronted my father about the lie he had concocted, he didn’t back down at first and said his story was best for all involved. But after I explained how much pain it had caused to find out the way I did, he finally relented and apologized. He never meant to hurt me and said he’d done it to protect my feelings. He said he didn’t want me growing up feeling that abandonment.
My mother had reached out once, and I’d spoken with her briefly. I told her I wasn’t sure what kind of contact I wanted, and I would need time to think about it. To be completely honest, a big part of me didn’t want any contact at all, but I didn’t want to make any rash decisions either. I felt betrayed by her desertion, and at a time when I needed stability the most, she would only create more waves if I allowed her in my life.
Edward walked into my room with a tray of delectable breakfast foods. I was still in bed, so he laid it on a circular table nearby and then sat on the edge of my bed, taking my hand.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
A warm sensation flooded through me at the kindness in his eyes, at the way he looked at me as if I were the most important person in his life. He had been so patient through all of this and had stood by me like a pillar of support. It made me realize something. I wanted this life with him more than anything. I wanted us to have babies, to share our hopes and dreams with each other, and most of all, I just wanted him.
Even after finding out the bit about my mother, I still had so much to be thankful for. God had given me a husband who loved me dearly, and my love for him was growing day-by-day, regardless of the fact that I didn’t remember a lot about our history. We had a lot to look forward to, and even if I never got all of my memories back, I was okay with that. We had an entire lifetime ahead of us to create new ones.
“I was feeling sorry for myself a few minutes ago, but I think I’m done with that.” I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Everything will be okay. I want you to know I appreciate you…I love you…and I’m ready to step up and be the wife you need.”
That statement brought a smile to his face. “You already are the wife I need.”
He drew me into a hug and kissed me on the cheek, and that, of course, made me tear up because he did it with such tenderness that I felt like I could let go of all the tension that had been building up inside of me for so long. I didn’t have to be strong
for him—he wanted me just as I was.
“I hope the celebration today isn’t too much for you,” he said. “You’ve been through a lot this past week.”
The citizens of Calais had a big celebration on the first day of Spring and today was that day. Edward had informed me earlier that it was traditional for the residents from surrounding villages to gather at the castle grounds and enjoy the festivities by setting up booths with different kinds of foods and flower wreaths and crafts of all kind. There would be old-style dancing and singing and a lot of merrymaking. It was definitely a time for families and communities to come together to celebrate.
“I’ll be fine, and I’m actually looking forward to it.”
“Mother likes to hold a party for the so-called elite inside the castle, but we’ll sneak out and check out all the booths at some point.”
We ate breakfast together and then prepared for the rest of the day. A little after noon, people began to gather outside as well as inside. Dignitaries and those of high social standing mingled and sipped champagne in the drawing-room, while the real party heated up outside. We made our rounds and greeted everyone Queen Anne had invited for her special gathering, making sure to nod with dignified expressions when appropriate.
On the other side of the room, Helena caught my gaze and widened her eyes as if to say, look at what I have to deal with. She looked trapped, poor thing. She and Arthur were talking to an older man who seemed quite taken with her.
I leaned closer to Edward and asked, “Who is that talking with your brother and sister?”
“Oh, that’s Nigel Walker, the chief of police. He’s always had a thing for Helena, but he’s much too old for her, and my mother has other plans for her, anyway.”
“What kind of plans?”
Edward rolled his eyes. “She wants her to marry another royal, preferably from a neighboring country so she can visit often.”
“Interesting. Is your mother aware that in the modern world such alliances aren’t necessary?”
“Au contraire,” he said with a French accent. “She would love to take a time machine to the past and stay there. She is enamored by the romanticism of the old ways while enjoying the conveniences of our age.”
“What does Helena think about an arranged marriage?”
“She rebels against the notion of being set up with anyone. She wants to choose her own husband.”
“I can understand that.” I took a sip from my glass of water infused with lemon and mint. “What about Arthur?”
Edward chuckled. “Now that I’m married, he’s next on Mother’s to-do list, and he doesn’t like it one bit. She’s been parading options in front of him for a while, but he hasn’t shown an interest in anyone.”
The music from the celebration outside grew louder, and we could see a crowd a short distance away through the drawing-room window. Edward glanced that way with longing, and I sensed it was hard for him to be walled-up inside when he would much rather be out enjoying the sunshine. He leaned in and whispered, “Follow my lead. In a few minutes, we’re going to slip away and join the party outdoors.” He winked and my stomach fluttered with the motion. I liked it when he had mischief in his eyes, especially when that mischief involved me.
“Okay,” I whispered back. I would follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked.
“What are you two whispering about?” Georgina asked, walking over in a tight green wraparound dress that emphasized all her curves. She jutted out a hip and appeared almost…annoyed that we were enjoying a private moment. I wasn’t sure what to make of that at first, but then I remembered Edward telling me she used to have feelings for him or possibly still did. A spark of jealousy shot through me, or maybe it was just protectiveness. Edward had made it clear he’d never had an interest in my sister, and I had the distinct impression she grated on his nerves a bit.
“Oh, nothing,” I said, trying to cover a smile but not doing a very good job. I glanced at Edward. He sipped his drink and looked away with a light in his eyes as if he didn’t have anything to contribute out loud but was inwardly laughing at his own private thoughts.
“I doubt it’s nothing,” she said, arching an eyebrow. “You both look way too happy for this crowd.”
That earned her a snicker on my part because she was probably right. Everyone at Queen Anne’s “inside party” looked as if they’d all swallowed a gallon of lemon juice mixed with vinegar. There was too much posturing and kissing up to make any of this fun.
“You all appear to be enjoying yourselves,” Beatriz said in an airy voice as she joined our circle. She had on a light blue off-the-shoulder dress that made her look especially elegant though I didn’t like the way she was eyeing Edward as if he were her own personal eye-candy.
“Trying at least,” Georgina said indifferently, but when she glanced at Edward, there definitely wasn’t indifference there.
What was it with these two? How had I handled them in the past?
“So, Edward,” Beatriz said. “What are your political views on the situation in the middle east?” She leaned in closer, the scent of her perfume wafting through the air.
I wanted to tell her to move back and give him space, but I didn’t want to be impolite. She probably didn’t even realize what she was doing since Edward had a knack for drawing people in.
“Oh, we don’t need to discuss politics on a day like this,” Edward said. “It’s much too beautiful outside. In fact,” he slipped an arm around my waist, “we should be going. We don’t want the citizens of Calais to think we’ve forgotten them.” He laughed and whisked me away as Beatriz and Georgina gaped at us, looking as if they couldn’t believe his lack of propriety in this particular moment. The inside guests shouldn’t be neglected, but Edward had other ideas.
I, of course, found it absolutely delightful that he was able to be that spontaneous. Once we were out the door, we headed further down to where everyone gathered. Neither of us bothered to comment on Georgina and Beatriz because it just wasn’t worth mentioning.
Roberto and a few others from our security team followed us, but they hung back and gave us our space. The closer we got, people tipped their hats and grinned at us. I could tell that the citizens of Calais adored Edward, and they were looking at me with admiration as well. It made me want to give back to them and resume the charity work I had done before my amnesia.
Edward brought me to a booth with flower wreaths, and after purchasing one with miniature pink roses and baby’s breath, he laid it on top of my head and secured it with several pins the merchant had given him.
“There we go,” he said, looking pleased. “You have never looked more beautiful.”
I flushed and stood on my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. He stared back at me with so much intensity, I nearly melted on the spot. We continued to walk around until we came to a booth that had all sorts of pastries and donuts and traditional cakes. We sampled a few pieces and then walked over to a grassy area where a couple of men played flutes and another had a drum.
People danced to old-style tunes, wearing costumes that resembled clothing worn during the Medieval times. Edward took me in his arms, and we galloped about to the music, laughing as if we were young and free and completely unrestricted—and we were all of those things…at this moment. Eventually, we would have to go back to being dignified and stately, but for right now, we were just…us…enjoying this Spring celebration with our fellow man, not feeling the need to separate ourselves inside.
At one point, Edward clasped both of my hands and swung me around and around as if we were kids with no one nearby to scold us. I threw my head back and laughed, my hair flying around from the momentum, everything spinning with the motion. And then all at once, he took me up in his arms and kissed me as he had never kissed me before. It was tender and sweet and filled with promises for our future. When he pulled away, the crowd erupted in clapping and whistles, and some shouted, “Hooray!”
After a few minutes, everyone went b
ack to what they were doing, and I happened to glance over at the castle and noticed a few figures standing in front of the window. It was far enough away that I couldn’t see who was there, but I didn’t have to guess that Queen Anne would know very soon about our indiscretions. We’d been much too lively, and we’d had way too much fun.
“Your mother will not be happy about this,” I whispered.
Edward chuckled. “Father will talk to her. The people love it, and we don’t want to appear as if we think we’re too good for them.” He glanced around and then brought his gaze to mine. “We should probably go back inside.”
“I know.”
“Ready?” He offered his arm, and I took it.
“Yes.”
As we headed back towards the castle entrance, I pinned this memory in a special place in my heart. I might not have access to all the other memories, but I would hold on to this one for the rest of my life, and I would never forget how much this day meant to me.
Chapter 16
Edward
“Oh, boy,” Arthur said as we walked through the foyer. “You’d better watch out. Mother is furious. She thinks you and Annette put on a show and acted undignified. She’s thoroughly embarrassed.”
My brother had always had my back, but he seemed way too amused by Mother’s reaction. I held onto Annette’s hand and refused to let anyone diminish the exhilaration I felt at this moment. The woman I loved most in this world had danced with me as if no one else existed, and if that caused others to turn their noses down at us…well, so be it. “It will all blow over, eventually.”
One side of Arthur’s mouth quirked up. “For the record, I’m immensely jealous. I wish that had been me outside.” He caught my expression and drew back. “With my own bride-to-be, of course.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, so you’re to be married? Who’s the lucky woman?”
He laughed. “Don’t get too excited. I haven’t made any decisions yet.”
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