by Lolah Lace
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Yea, where are their parents? Some of these girls are primary school age. Security arrived quickly after the gunshot. We all had to scramble to keep it all off the tele. I try to keep my mates safe but sometimes I fail. Maybe I should’ve walked Archie to his room.”
“It’s not your fault. You had no idea some crazy naked girl would be waiting for Archie.”
“But is it my fault. Without me, it would be a wash. I could just break this group up and they could go back to their normal lives.”
“Jagger they don’t live regular lives now and you guys are so successful they never will again.”
“Even if they went solo they wouldn’t be in this danger. There’s something about being in a boy band that causes this mass hysteria in pubescent girls. A solo artist never gets this level of crazy. If I leave the group they could just go back to living a normal life. We’ve already made enough money. I’m the one the label wants. I could literally get them out of their contractual obligations. Archie, Winston, and Colin have families. I’m the only one that is alone. I’m the only one without a family.”
“Jagger, you’re not alone.”
“Maybe.” He hung his head and lifted it to engage me. “I am well aware that I am being selfish. I’m trying to keep my mates as my brothers because I have no one.”
“Jagger, that’s not true.” Didn’t he realize he had me? I was all in.
“Kat, my mum was murdered and my father put a pistol in his mouth and blow his bloody brains out.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. He’d never explained his father’s death to me. Why did I think his father died from cancer? Suicide, I didn’t know that at all. His parent’s deaths weren’t something we discussed after leaving Dr. David back in Galena. Now this drug addiction was making more sense to me. Jagger had a lot on his plate and a lot to deal with from the past. This was just another reason he didn’t seem like your typical twenty-year-old man. He had heavy things to contend with. He was in my kitchen talking about disbanding one of the most popular groups of this decade.
I didn’t have any advice. I didn’t know what was best. Jagger loved music and talked about it all the time. If the band loved music like him they would be devastated.
“Babe, I don’t want to bring you down.”
“No, you should talk about it. You can tell me anything.” When I thought about it. I meant it. I was willing to listen to whatever he had to say because I loved him. I really did. His feelings mattered to me.
“Please just ignore my outburst. I’m talking complete rubbish. I can’t leave Toxic Shock. Everyone expects me to go solo. I’m not leaving my brothers.”
“I think you should stay for now. Don’t make any rash decisions. You an Archie are safe.”
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“If I leave the group everyone will blame it on you. You will be Yoko Ono. You will be this legit super female villain.”
“Okay, no, I will not. No one even knows who I am and that I exist.”
“Bullocks, I told all my mates about you.”
“You did not.”
“Yes, of course, I did. Do you think I talked about boring drug rehab? I talked about meeting the most beautiful and sexy American woman on the planet.”
“You didn’t do that and you definitely didn’t say that.”
“I swear on my mum’s grave.”
“Jagger.” Was he for real?
“I told them you had the sweetest candy I ever tasted. And they thought it was something sexual because I left out the part about you selling sweet candy at an actual candy shop. I was rather clever with my word choices.”
“Why did you tell them that?”
“Why do you think?”
“I don’t know.”
“Because I love you. I have all these love songs I’d written in Galena. You inspired almost every song on the next album. I had to tell them who was my muse. They have to sing the lyrics with me. They have to understand how you touched my life. How you took me back when I’d lied to you and how special you are to me. Almost half the album is complete. We went to work in the studio straight away when I got back. We got clearance to cover a Stevie Wonder song.”
“Which one?”
“Master Blaster Jammin’, it would be nice if he would sing on it but that’s probably not going to happen. It’s his song and he is Stevie Wonder.”
Seeing Jagger talk about music turned me on. He was so animated. His face lit up and his body relaxed. He was the epitome of a great musician.
Jagger sat quietly looking into his cell. He seemed more at ease. I finished putting all the groceries away and walked over to him.
“Kat, in a few months they’ll be an album release party. Will you come? You can meet anyone.”
“Sure. Where is it?”
“L.A.”
“I’ll fly you out for the weekend.”
“Okay.
“Do you have any more chores after this?”
“No. What do you want to do?”
“Can we get in bed and watch reality TV?”
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
Jagger stood, towering over me. He took my hand and walked me upstairs to my bedroom.
I took a seat on the bed and he went into his duffel bag that was on the floor by the chair. When he turned to me he was holding a Tiffany box with a white ribbon tied in a bow on top.
He handed the box over. “I got you something.”
I took it. “Thank you.” Why? I said in my head. I didn’t want to be rude. I looked at the pretty box for a few seconds before I place it in my lap and untied it. I moved as fast as I could to get into the box but it still felt like slow motion. There were rose gold diamond hoop earrings inside. This was real bling. The diamonds were glowing.
“Thank you, they’re beautiful.”
He smiled and dropped down beside me on the bed. “Not as beautiful as you.”
“Why did you get me this? I love them, like a lot but—?”
“Your birthday is coming up.”
“Next month.”
“I know but I was thinking about it. Jewelry seemed appropriate then I thought of something better. So I got the earrings and gave them to you now because that’s not your birthday gift.”
“That makes sense.”
He grabbed the box of earrings from my hand and placed them on the bedside table.
The time we were together flew by. I drove Jagger back to the airport where a private jet was waiting for him. I went back home feeling a little empty inside.
Chapter 24
KATRINA
It was October, my birthday month. The weather was dropping fast. It even rained a few times. Good weather was fleeting in this part of the country.
My birthday was only a few days away. Jagger flew in on the Wednesday before my born day. He planned to stay an entire week. Having a week with him was a dream. A long distance relationship took a lot of getting used to.
Jagger showed up clean shaved and with just a little more swag, if that was even possible. This time Jagger had a bevy of suitcases. He also had a lot of video equipment delivered to the house for my son. He had been texting my son and talking about filmmaking. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I didn’t have time to reject the cameras, lenses, lights, and stuff that came to the house. Jagger had been sending me gifts since he’d left the last time. I was curious and looked up the rose gold diamond earrings on the Tiffany & Co. website. They were very expensive at a little over twelve thousand dollars. I didn’t say anything about the cost. My mama raised me with manners.
Waking up next to him was always nice and it brought me back to the times we shared together in Galena. We ate breakfast and dinner together like a family. I loved every minute of it. Things would be perfect if he was older and had a regular job. I lived with a fear that one day he would realize just how old I was and that his future and my future had different trajectories.
/>
Aaron and Jagger spent a lot of time in the basement with the video equipment. Somehow my son recorded Jagger singing a snippet from an unreleased song. Jagger posted it on Instagram and give my son a credit as the videographer. My son’s Instagram blew up because he was a real filmmaker now. He was sixteen and behind a camera that shot a video of a famous person. This all happened Friday. Jagger posted it about an hour before Aaron came home from school. I think they had the whole thing planned.
Jagger’s manager didn’t like it at all. But he couldn’t seriously complain about it because the video of Jagger sitting in a chair in darkness with a single light singing and playing guitar got over five million likes and ten million views. The video was picked up by the blogs and shared all over Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and Snapchat.
My ex-husband was taking Aaron for the weekend. I hoped Aaron’s newfound fame wouldn’t go to his head. His father wouldn’t ever see this post and I was sure Aaron wouldn’t tell him about it. Erik didn’t monitor his social media accounts. All the real parenting was left up to me.
I dropped Aaron off at his father’s house. It was only a few miles away. I didn’t bring my housemate with me for the ride. I didn’t want any static. I had good sense.
Erik didn’t know that I knew he got some woman pregnant while he was still married to me. He probably thought he had one up on me. I didn’t care what he thought. It felt real damn good to give zero fucks.
Things had changed for the better. Back in the day, I would’ve confronted him. But I didn’t care about his past infidelities. Having a long-distance relationship with Jagger wasn’t ideal but I was satisfied. Even from across the pond he gave me more attention than that low-life ex-husband did even when we lived in the same house with me.
When I got back home I looked forward to spending the entire weekend with Jagger. He had prepared a bath for us. He undressed me and we got in together. He made sure we left our cell phones in the bedroom so there would be no distractions. I rested my body against his chest as the warm water rose above my chest.
“We’re alone.”
“For an entire weekend.”
“I love how this feels. Did you do this for all the ladies?” I don’t know why I said that but it slipped out.
“What ladies?”
“Nothing.” I wanted to take it back. I didn’t want to mess up this bliss.
“No, tell me, spill it.”
“You’re so good at this.” I muttered.
“At what?”
“This romantic stuff.”
“I am?” He chucked. “I thought I was rather good with the shagging part.”
“You know you’re good at that.”
“But I still fancy being told.”
The room got quiet. I didn’t know what to say. I was overthinking this. He was here with me now and that’s all that mattered. What he did in London or on the road was not my business.
“Babe, what are you thinking?” Jagger placed his hand over my heart. His fingers grazed my nipple. “Are you having second thoughts about coming to L.A.?”
“No, no.”
“Well, what is it? You can tell me anything.”
“Are there going to be any of your like exes or current girlfriends there?”
“What? Exes and current girlfriends? You’re my current girlfriend?”
“In Chicago.”
He laughed and it vibrated off my back. “Are you bloody serious?”
I sat up and could only turn sideways to see him without lifting my entire body out of the bathwater.
“I don’t know what you do when we’re not together.”
“I don’t know what you do when we’re not together.” He repeated my shit back to me.
“Jagger, I’m not mad. I know guys like you have other women in other cities. I’m not an idiot.”
His eyes squinted as if he believed otherwise. “I don’t have other women. I don’t have women in different counties or cities. That’s rubbish and I’m offended you think that of me.”
“It’s not like you’ve ever said that to me before.”
“Do you really think I’m sticking my cock in ladies all over the world? That’s literally gross and disgusting. We have unprotected sex.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing!”
“Watch your fucking tone.”
Jagger reached around and pinched my nipple so hard I screamed bloody murder.
“Jagger! What the fuck!”
He grabbed my bushy ponytail and pulled me back into his chest. He hooked his legs around mine and held my arms down under the water. It all happened so fast. I wasn’t prepared to be forced into this position. I was at his mercy.
He tilted his face down to my ear. “I love you. I cherish you. I worship you. I would never ever cheat on you.”
I was overwhelmed and I started crying. I wasn’t a crybaby but I was doing it. Ugh!
“Katrina.” Jagger quickly unhooked my limbs. He whipped me around to face him. The water went violently splashing out of the tub and into the floor. He lifted me up and dropped me down. I was now straddling him. We were face to face. “Katrina.”
I knew my thoughts were irrational. I also knew my ex-husband cheating on me throughout our marriage made me believe I couldn’t trust a man to be faithful. I felt ashamed that I assumed the worse. I felt stupid for bawling like an infant and I didn’t want to look at him. So I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder. Something toxic released from my body when he embraced me back.
I loved this man. I really did. It all just seemed so terrifying. He was younger than me but he was intimidating.
“Kat, I’ve never had a serious relationship with anyone, ever. You are the only one. I’m only seeing you. We’re exclusive. We’re a couple. I would never stay here, be mates with Aaron and see other women. I value this family. You know I don’t have a real family of my own.”
I couldn’t speak. I only listened. We sat in the tub intertwined until the water temperature went cold.
The weekend whizzed by and I wasn’t a killjoy anymore. My birthday was on Saturday. Jagger had a romantic candlelight dinner catered and brought to my house. He didn’t know how to cook so it was the thought that counted. I didn’t expect him to cook for me. He had a real job since he was five. When would he ever have the time to learn to cook? What he ordered was delicious and from a local restaurant. I just enjoyed his company and the fact he carved out time in his busy schedule to spend my birthday with me meant more than he would ever know.
I’m not sure what I expected when it came to a birthday gift but I definitely didn’t expect it to cost one hundred thousand dollars. I accepted it because it was so beautiful and I wasn’t rude. He had a logical reason for the gift and that made it even more special. He wasn’t going to let me refuse it. He made sure I knew that he could afford it and he thought it fit me perfectly.
JAGGER
Last night was a blast. The sex was amazing. It was so difficult to wake up. I know I could’ve made a baby if Kat wasn’t on birth control pills. I wished she wasn’t but that was a proper talk for a proper time, not on her birthday weekend. I was sitting in the kitchen drinking a cuppa when I heard a car driving up to her property. I had to be Aaron. He was coming home on Sunday but Kat didn’t know what time. I answered a few text messages while I waited for him to enter.
I heard the back door open.
“Ey Aaron!” I heard a man’s voice I didn’t recognize.
“You don’t have to walk me to the door.” Aaron retorted.
“I know but I forgot, I need to talk to your mother.”
“I think she’s asleep.”
“Whose pearl white Mercedes truck is that in the driveway?”
“Ma got a new car for her birthday. She’s giving me her old car.”
“Where’d she get money for a new truck?”
“I don’t know. I’m not her accountant.” Aaron smarted. He was really a clever lad.
/> “I need to use the bathroom.”
I sat up in my chair. I heard the door close and feet approaching the kitchen. I spied Aaron first. His exasperated mug was clear as day. Then I saw him, Erik, the ex-husband.
“Who are you?” Erik asked me but I didn’t respond. His tone was quite rude.
Aaron spoke up for me. “Oh, Dad this is Ma’s boyfriend, Jay.” He thought to not call me Jagger. I really liked this kid. He was a smart lad.
Erik let out a chuckle while I sized up my girlfriend’s ex-husband. I had to give him a once over to see what I was up against. He was an American Black man. Some people might call him handsome, some people, not me of course. He was a middle-aged bloke, tall but not taller than me. He had some puny muscles and some misplaced body fat. He didn’t have my youth. I could take him in a bloody scuffle. This I knew for sure. There was no way I was going to shake this wanker’s hand. I hoped he wouldn’t try to shake mine.
“No, seriously?”
I stood with my tea in hand. I needed him to see my height. I started moving and he moved too. I walked out of the kitchen down the hall and to the bottom of the staircase.
“Kat! Your ex-husband is here!” I yelled it up into the air. Maybe she would hear me.
I went right back to the kitchen to give the tosser a proper glare. I took my chair at the island and took another sip.
Aaron was standing idle. “I’m going to the basement.” He said and I gave him a head nod.
As soon as he left the room his mother appeared in mere seconds. The look of shock on her face was rather lovely. All of her looks had beauty and grace. She was really just that stunning.
“Erik, you never come inside.” She walked into the middle of the room and was literally in between him and me. “Where’s Aaron?”
“He went to the basement. I think he felt rather uncomfortable, love.” I answered.
Kat flashed a quick smile at me. “Why are you here Erik?”
“I need to talk to you,” Erik looked over at me. “In private.”