“Darling, this has been the most wonderful day of my life, the culmination of all my hopes. I am loathed to part from you, but it is late, and I have kept you here for too long. You must go now – while I can still let you,” Darcy said, with that alluring half smile, his voice in a low rumble.
Elizabeth flushed, “You are right, and it has been the most wonderful day of my life, too.” They rose and stared into each other’s eyes, reluctant to part though necessity dictated it. Darcy kissed her hand. She walked to the door and turned, “I love you, Fitzwilliam,” she said. Darcy watched her leave, then dropped back to the sofa, closed his eyes, and moaned.
The predawn light had begun to dispel the darkness, and Darcy stood at the stream in the woods behind Bingley’s estate. Elizabeth knew this place, and he hoped that she would choose it for her morning stroll. Here, they would have limited privacy, he could kiss her, but he would be forced to keep himself under good regulation. He exhaled. He had barely slept, the highs and lows from the previous day, from the agony of believing that he had lost Elizabeth, to the ecstasy of experiencing her love, had been nearly too much for a human to bear. Darcy did not know that it was possible to feel thus, light and free, yet paradoxically, heavy with the desperate desire to know her fully.
As the sun crested, Darcy turned toward the sound of a twig snapping, and there she was. His heart thumped wildly. She stood watching him in her simple muslin gown that softly draped her slender but supple form, her hair hastily arranged and framing her face. Her unadorned beauty was more alluring to him than all the primped-up ladies of the ton had ever been.
He was at her side in two long strides. He pulled her into his embrace and held her, savoring the ability to hold her close. Then he backed her slowly into the tree and kissed her, hands, lips, tongues, breath intertwining. Fire, and ecstasy so intense that Darcy moaned. When he felt her trembling, he reluctantly pulled away and laid his forehead upon hers. He was amazed at how much more than merely kissing it was. With Elizabeth, it was communion. “Say we can marry soon, my darling. I do not think I can wait much longer,” he said, his voice full of yearning. He felt her nod, and he smiled at this evidence that she too was overcome.
He kissed her nose. Then he removed his coat and sat before the large oak tree. “Come,” he said and pulled her upon his coat and held her to his chest. “When, darling? When can we marry?”
Elizabeth giggled and looked up at him. “Mama will want six months.” Darcy’s eyes grew large, and Elizabeth laughed, “I think a month would do,” she added quickly, and Darcy exhaled so loudly that it caused Elizabeth to laugh again. “How does a month sound?” Elizabeth asked.
“Like thirty days too long; however, since it could not be yesterday, I will endure a month.” He kissed her forehead and pulled her head back onto his chest. He stroked her arms and reveled in the joy of holding her. However, attuned as he was to her, he sensed that she was not completely relaxed.
“What troubles you, my love?”
Elizabeth sighed and finally spoke, “He could have been yours, Alexander, I mean.” The hand that stroked her arm stilled, and Darcy held his breath, “At least you thought he could,” she said.
Darcy exhaled loudly, “I, yes, – he could have been.” Elizabeth tensed, and Darcy pulled away and looked at her. He did not want to have this conversation with her. He did not want to tell her that another woman had lain in his arms. He wished he had saved himself for her, but she knew now, of course, she knew. “It was, I...”
“Did you love her?” Elizabeth asked softly.
“No! No.” Darcy shook his head, although he did not know if that made it better or worse. “I have only ever loved you, my darling. I did not know what love was until I met you.” Darcy answered fervently; and kissed her brow. “Mrs. Waters, it, it was after my father’s passing. She and her companion were sheltered at Pemberley during the storm. I, I was overwhelmed. It was no excuse, but…” Darcy threw up one hand and looked at Elizabeth, did she even understand lust, he wondered. “I…”
“Shh,” she touched her finger to his lips again. After we are married, I will show her how dangerous that is, he thought, but now she was speaking, and he listened. “There is no need to explain. I was just fearful that you may love her. She is so very beautiful and I…”
“Darling,” Darcy gathered her in his arms, “you are so beautiful to me; it overwhelms me. You possess a perfect combination of beauty and wit and strength and loyalty that I was powerless to resist, and believe me I tried,” he laughed lightly, “oh, how I tried, but it was futile.” His face became somber, and he pulled away to look at her, “I am irrevocably drawn to you. No one can compare to you, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and I have only now become a rich man since you have pledged to be my wife. I regret, my darling, that I did not save myself for you, but I pledge now that there will never, ever be another. Just you, my love, only you, always you.” Tears were streaming down her face, and he brushed them away with his thumbs, “I will spend the rest of my life loving you. I will protect you and honor you. Believe me when I say, I never knew what love was until you.”
Elizabeth launched herself into his chest, “Oh, Fitzwilliam.” He held her tightly and peppered her head with kisses before settling back with her head beneath his chin.
He waited until her breathing returned to normal, and her anxiety ebbed, but now it was his turn. He had questions, too. He also had demons of jealousy he fought and insecurities that mocked him, and so he asked, “And what of Lance? Why was he here?”
Elizabeth sighed, “He proposed, in town,” Darcy tensed, irrationally wanting to call Lance out for the temerity. “I left town without answering. He was headed for an extended business trip, so he came.”
“Did you consider him?” Darcy’s voice was strained.
“I thought you were engaged to Mrs. Waters. I thought I would die inside; it was hard to rise each morning and smile and pretend.” Darcy’s arms tightened around her. “Mr. Lancaster proposed a practical arrangement built on mutual respect and asked me to consider it. I tried. I listened to Charlotte’s arguments about happiness requiring respect and commitment rather than love, and she made a point. Perhaps I could have been happy with a good, decent man like Mr. Lancaster, but it was too late. I had tasted of love, of deep admiration, of longing, and I could not settle for less.”
Darcy closed his eyes. He had never felt such ecstasy in his life. He was dying to express it, but he held himself in check and smiled a slow smile of peace. “And Saye,” he had to ask; he had to know. “With as often as he called, I am certain he made his intentions known.”
Elizabeth thought back to the day Saye called. The day she made the decision that would affect the rest of her future.
“Colonel Saye, ma’am.”
“Lovely, send him to the drawing room, Bridget.”
Elizabeth looked at Jane. “Are you ready, Lizzy?” Jane asked.
Elizabeth took a deep breath and exhaled, “I am, Jane.”
“Are you happy with your decision?” Jane looked closely into Elizabeth’s eye.
Elizabeth nodded and smiled, “Yes.” Since the receipt of Charlotte’s letter, she had given much thought to what her sensible friend had to say. She did not agree with everything, but she could not deny that Charlotte’s perspective had challenged her as never before. It had helped Elizabeth decide. “I am decided, Jane.”
“Very well,” Jane tucked a curl behind Elizabeth’s ear. “Shall we?” Elizabeth nodded and followed Jane to the drawing room, each step connecting her to her future.
“Colonel Saye, welcome! It is a pleasure to see you again.”
“The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Bingley. You are as beautiful as always. If that husband of yours ever acts as if he deserves you, do not hesitate to tell me, and I will be delighted to inform him otherwise,” Jane laughed and thanked him as he bowed over her hand.
“Miss Elizabeth,” Saye bowed and kissed her hand, his smile warm
er now. Elizabeth was struck again with how vibrant he was and how stimulated she had always felt by his perspectives. Her smile instinctively matched his. “You are intimidatingly perfect; no man would ever be audacious enough to believe he deserves you.” He winked and released her hand.
They sat, and conversation flowed as they drank tea.
“Has Miss Darcy returned home?” he asked.
“No, she is at her lessons and sends her regrets,” Jane answered.
Saye raised one brow and looked intensely at Elizabeth, who looked into her teacup. “Ah, her presence is missed,” he said.
After a few more moments, Jane rose, “Colonel Saye, would you excuse me for a moment? I must discuss something with Cook about the order for the butcher. I shall not be long. I do apologize.”
“Not at all, Miss Bingley,” Saye bowed. When Jane exited, he watched Elizabeth, then he sat with a small smile.
“So, you have decided in favor of that ‘other one’, have you?” Saye chuckled at Elizabeth’s wide-eyed, dropped-jawed expression and answered her unspoken question. “How did I know? Mrs. Bingley’s convenient departure.”
Elizabeth nodded and then furrowed her brow. “But how did you know that I decided on the ‘other one’?”
“Ah, the absence of Miss Darcy was as telling as the departure of Mrs. Bingley. If you had decided in my favor, I am certain Miss Darcy would have bound herself to your side with chains at my coming, so that we would never have had a moment alone.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Yes, she has been a diligent sentry.” However, the smile fell quickly from her face as she looked at Colonel Saye. “It had once been said that I, with my impertinence and little beauty, could never attract a man of consequence. Though not overly concerned about other’s opinions, I had no evidence to the contrary: until you.” She regarded him with soft eyes. “You are remarkable. I have enjoyed your friendship and your perspectives, and I thank you for the compliment of your attentions.” She held his gaze for a moment, then looked away and shook her head. “But as to that ‘other one’… there is, I mean…”
“There will be, Miss Bennet,” Saye answered softly. “There will be. And as to the assessment of your worth by others, tis utter rubbish. The only thing lovelier than your person is that ethereal, allusive part that you only allow us mere mortals to occasionally glimpse through your smile, your mind, your laughter.” Elizabeth lowered her eyes, and Saye smiled again.
“You cannot blame me for wanting such a prize for myself, can you?” Saye stood and chuckled at Elizabeth’s sympathetic look. “Do not worry about me, Miss Bennet. I am a military man. I launched my campaign early to avoid serious injury, although not early enough to win, I see.” He lost his smile and looked soberly at her. “You are a rare breed. And that ‘other one’ has won a prize I know he does not deserve.” He smiled, kissed her hand, and left.
When Elizabeth finished her tale, Darcy spoke, his voice gruff, “Saye was incorrect about one thing, he is the ‘other one’,” Darcy said and wrapped her tighter in his arms. Elizabeth giggled, ignoring the illogic of that statement. She knew that the violence of his love had rendered him momentarily insensible, and the possessiveness in his voice filled her with warmth. He held her tightly for a while, and then he said softly, “I am the one who loves you more than life.” Elizabeth shivered. “But he was correct about something; I do not deserve you. I was a fool to utter such nonsense,” Darcy’s voice was anguished. “Believe me, darling, only now, with your love have I become a man of consequence.”
Elizabeth looked at him with watery eyes, smiled, and laid her head back upon his chest. A bit later, she lifted her head and asked, “How did you know that Saye called often?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You said, ‘as often as Saye called,’ how did you know?”
“Georgiana wrote to me.”
“Of course,” Elizabeth laughed. “Your sister was quite fearless in protecting your interest.” Elizabeth explained Georgiana’s antics, and Darcy chuckled. “In the end, it was all for naught. My heart was no longer mine, but yours,” she looked at him with love and admiration, and he held her so tight that she could scarce breathe.
It was official, she was his. After a lengthy discussion, Mr. Bennet had given his consent, and as a result, Elizabeth had moved back to Longbourn. Darcy missed her already, but not sharing a roof with such temptation, would help him honor his commitment to wait until they were married. And he needed all the help he could get! Darcy thought back to Mrs. Bennet’s reaction to the news of their betrothal. At first, she sat like a marble statue, and Darcy thought he had escaped, but then, reality set in, and off she went.
“Oh, Mr. Darcy!” Mrs. Bennet fluttered her handkerchief. “Bless you! 10,000 a year and likely more. Tis as good as a Lord! And my Lizzy, too, with her walking and reading, who would have imagined it? Well, bless you, Mr. Darcy! You must tell me all your favorite dishes, and I will have Cook prepare them for you right away! Oh, the jewels and the carriages! My Lizzy, so clever, well, of course, you would love my darling girl. Why she is almost as lovely as my Jane! Oh, bless you, bless you!
Once, he would have scorned Mrs. Bennet’s manner, but now, with such a prize to be gained, he would endure anything. Besides, his recent revelations about his own relations had taught him he had no right to judge. Darcy shook his head and smiled, then focused upon writing his letters to his relations and his solicitor as quickly as he could – so that he could be with Elizabeth again.
Chapter Forty
Caroline walked around the drawing room, trailing her fingers on the furniture, peering out the window, lifting porcelain figurines from the mantle just to return them to their place without seeing. She huffed, she had not had one important invitation since Bingley and Jane practically defected from the season to take that stupid family trip, that was weeks ago – and now they hie off to Hertfordshire to escort that country nobody home!
Caroline folded her arms and flopped into a chair, with Darcy now engaged to that hoyden, she feared that she would be forever exiled from the best of society if she could not convince Darcy that they were both victims of Mrs. Waters’ treachery. But first, she had to get near him. She had written Jane and instructed her to send the carriage, only to have mild-mannered Jane send notice that the carriage could not be spared. As if they had only one! Jane could make use of the old carriage and send her the new one, for Jane was only riding around that backwater little village after all. Caroline had also tried to convince Hurst to take her to Darcy, but he was unattractively stubborn nowadays. She even attempted to cajole Louisa, but she had determined to side with her husband, how foolish. Caroline huffed. Finally, she had demanded that her brother come to retrieve her at once. He had not yet responded, but her tone had been sufficiently severe, and she was confident that he would come. In the meantime, she was bored, and she did not appreciate the wait. She would let him know when he arrived.
A week after Darcy and Elizabeth’s engagement, Darcy and Elizabeth along with Jane and Bingley, returned to town. Darcy needed to finalize the marriage settlement, and Elizabeth needed to shop for her trousseau. Additionally, the Fitzwilliams, who had also returned to town, would host a family dinner to meet Elizabeth, and an engagement dinner to introduce her to the ton.
On their first full day in town, Bingley went immediately to the Hurst’s home. Darcy had shared with Jane and Bingley about Hayden and Francesca’s scheme and Caroline’s part in it when the invitations to his engagement dinner had been issued. He wanted to ensure that Caroline did not attend. Bingley had been shocked and incensed before becoming somber at the threat of social ruin for Caroline. He needed to speak with the Hursts, and he came early knowing that Caroline would likely be in her rooms still.
“Bingley! What brings you here?” Hurst said when Bingley entered the breakfast room.
“I am in town with Jane and Elizabeth for Elizabeth’s trousseau.”
“Well, it i
s good to see you, Brother,” Louisa smiled. “Will you not break your fast with us?”
“Thank you, but I have already eaten. When you have finished, I would like to discuss a serious matter with you.”
Louisa and Hurst glanced at one another. Louisa dropped her shoulders, and Hurst said, “We are finished, Bingley. Let us go to my study.”
When they were seated, Bingley asked, “Do you know anything about a letter Caroline received from the Countess of Matlock?”
Louisa looked away, “We do, and we read it,” Hurst answered.
“I thought as much. Why did you not tell me?”
Hurst answered while looking at his wife, “Louisa wanted to give Caroline a chance to reform.”
Bingley turned to Louisa and exhaled loudly, “And has she?” he asked frustratedly.
Louisa looked away and shook her head, “No.”
“Of course, she has not. She never will. She has been allowed to have her way for far too long. First with mother, then with you, and sadly I also followed the pattern. But now she has gone too far! What she did to Darcy was despicable, and the Countess of Matlock has essentially barred her from the first circles with the threat of a direct cut if Caroline comes near her! Her social climbing days are over.”
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