by E. L. Todd
“I’ll make sure I’m there tomorrow.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. But your absence was noticed.”
I bet every guy in the restaurant hated me right then. I was sitting across the coolest chick in the damn world. She was only looking at me, only comfortable with me. She was selective with whom she spent her time, but I somehow made the cut.
“And your presence is always noticed.”
She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. She always held herself like a queen, someone who was prominent or influential. It surprised me that her back hadn’t broken under the weight of everything she experienced. For some reason, I had a feeling that was only a small part of her suffering. She had more depth than all the oceans combined. “What are you thinking about?”
Her words brought me out of my trance. “Your eyes.” It was the first thing I could think of, and it was a bad response.
“What about them?” She seemed interested, not annoyed.
“They remind me of the forest.”
“What kind of forest?” she asked.
“The bright kind. You know, like the Amazon. With those tall trees and hangings vines, full of different fruits and birds. That kind.”
A slight smirk stretched her lips. “Thank you. That’s a nice compliment.”
I cleared my throat. “Now it’s your turn.”
She laughed. “You’re making me give you a compliment?”
“Yep.”
“Well…let me think.”
I patiently waited.
“I like your…face.”
That was anticlimactic. “My face?”
“You have a strong jaw and a thoughtful look like Clint Eastwood, but you always have soft eyes, like someone who is innocent. You’re very handsome.”
I liked that last part. “Well, thank you. People tell me I look like my father.”
“Then he must be special.”
“He thinks he is,” I joked. “He looks like a serial killer when he’s upset.”
“I’m glad I haven’t seen you upset,” she teased.
“I’d never get mad at you,” I blurted. “Too hard.”
She gave me a sweet smile then touched her hair. “I have my mom’s eyes.”
The mention of her mother made me sad. I wanted to say the right thing to make her feel better but couldn’t think of anything. “At least you carry on your mother’s legacy in more than one way.”
“My brother does too. I hope it forces my dad to think about her every time he looks at us.” She said it without emotion, like the topic wasn’t difficult for her to discuss.
“Are you close with your brother?”
“Not really. We don’t talk very often. And he’s closer with my dad so that makes me push him away even more. If my brother knows anything about me, he might tell my father.”
The waitress came over with the pizza box. “Enjoy.”
I pulled the cash out of my wallet and handed it to her.
Beatrice pulled her money out. “Let’s split it.”
“It’s okay, really.”
“Take it,” she said firmly.
“How about you just get the next one?” I said.
She took her money back hesitantly. “Okay.”
I wasn’t sure why she was so adamant about paying all the time but I let it go.
We headed back to the truck then decided to go to my place since it was closer. After we parked, we headed up the stairs. Thankfully, I’d just cleaned my place. Now Beatrice wouldn’t know how much of a pig I was.
“The bachelor pad,” Beatrice said as she walked inside.
I laughed. “More like a man cave.” I tossed the pizza box on the table.
She took a look around then noticed my large TV. “Nice.”
“It’s good for football.” I grabbed a few plates then set them down. “What would you like to drink? Beer or water?”
“Beer.”
Really? “Okay.” I retrieved the bottles then handed one to her.
She sat down and drank it like she drank beer often. When she caught my look, she turned to me. “I don’t like wine,” she explained.
That made sense.
I put the movie in then turned off all the lights. “Are you ready to see the greatest movie of all time?”
“Always ready.” She pulled the pizza onto her plate then sat at the opposite end of the couch.
“Let the awesomeness commence.”
We ate our pizza while we watched the movie. When I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, I saw her mouth some of the lines. She really was a hardcore fan. It made me more attracted to her.
Damn.
“R2-D2 is my favorite. He’s so cute.”
I rolled my eyes. “Everyone thinks he’s cute.”
“Because he is,” she said firmly. She pulled out her phone then showed me a picture. “Look at my trashcan.”
It was an R2-D2 replica. It looked just like the robot but it was a garbage can. “Wow…that’s so cool!” I looked at her with crazed eyes. “How did you get that?”
“Ebay.”
“I’m so jealous.”
“It’s cool, huh? It makes little noises every time you walk up to it.”
“Wow.” I handed the phone back to her. “Coolest chick in the galaxy.”
She chuckled then blushed. “Maybe the nerdiest.”
“For guys, it means the same thing.”
She leaned back on the couch then tightened her arms around her waist.
“Cold?”
“A little.”
I grabbed a blanket my mom made and handed it to her.
She covered herself with it then examined the stitching. There were different t-shirts from my youth on it. Most of them were sports t-shirts from championships I played in. When I grew out of them, I was going to throw them away but my mom kept them and made a blanket instead. “Are these your old t-shirts?”
“Yeah, my mom made that for me before I left for college. I guess she wanted to keep my youth alive even after I left the house.”
She felt the fabric in her hands and smiled. “That’s sweet.”
“Yeah…when she’s not being annoying, she’s alright.”
“Do you have pictures of your family?”
I didn’t keep picture frames around the house. That was too girly. But I had a few on my phone. “Yeah.” I pulled it out then handed it to her. “This was us last Christmas.” The four of us stood in front of our house wearing the ugliest Christmas sweaters we could find.
Her eyes softened. “Wow…so cute.”
“I guess,” I said with a shrug.
She stared at the picture for a long time. “Your family is beautiful. They look like models.”
“Well, I do. I don’t know about them…”
“Is that your sister?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“Very pretty. And your parents look so young.”
“They aren’t,” I said immediately. “They just look like it.”
She tapped the screen then made the image bigger. “You do look so much like your father…”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “I get that a lot.”
“He’s very handsome.”
I cringed. “Don’t check out my dad. Gross!”
“What?” she said. “I meant it as a compliment.”
“Nasty.”
She laughed then turned back to the phone. “Your mom is gorgeous too. Your sister looks just like her.”
“I think they’re both hideous.”
She eyed me for a moment, a smirk on her lips. “You aren’t fooling me, Conrad. The fact you have this adorable picture on your phone is proof that you actually love your family and don’t find them annoying.”
“Who said that had to be mutually exclusive?”
“I guess you have a point.” She handed the phone back to me.
I stuffed it into my pocket then turned back to the screen. The credits were rolling. “I guess it’s over. W
ant to watch another one or should I take you home?”
“Next one, please.”
“Cool.” I put the movie in then returned to the couch.
It was difficult to pay attention when she was so close to me. If I reached out my arm, I could touch her. Instead of watching the screen, I tried to watch her in my peripheral vision. She looked so cute snuggled under my childhood blanket while she lay on the couch.
When the movie was halfway over, I heard a quiet sigh escape her lips. I looked over and saw her eyes closed and her chest rise and fall at a steady rate. She was out.
I let the movie finish before I turned off the TV.
What do I do now? Do I wake her up and take her home? Do I leave her there?
She would get a kink in her neck if she stayed there all night, so I picked her up and carried her into my bedroom. I’d never wrapped my arms around her so I didn’t realize how petite she was. She was lighter than air. Her soft locks moved past my arm, making me tingle.
I lay her on my bed and she stirred slightly, getting comfortable even though she was still asleep. She turned on her side and pulled the blanket further up her shoulder. I sat at the edge of the bed and just stared at her.
I studied the curve of her lips. They were shaped like a bow. They were full and red, alluring. Her high cheekbones led to gorgeous eyes, which I couldn’t see because they were closed. I watched her sleep, noting the steady rise and fall of her chest. She looked so small on my bed. I was twice her size and easily a foot taller than her, and seeing her in a place I slept every night made me realize our size differences. A brown strand came loose from behind her ear and fell across her cheek. Without thinking, I tucked it back. “Good night, Beatrice.”
I went back into the living room then took her place on the couch. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as my bed but it would have to do for the night. I’d rather be in there with her, but I had a feeling it would make her uncomfortable.
I tried to get some sleep but I couldn’t. All I could think about was the weird knot in my chest, the pain that was inexplicable. I felt something. It was like a burn, slow and steady. It thudded constantly, and every breath I took reminded me more of it.
***
When my eyes fluttered open, a face formed in my vision. Beatrice was looking down at me, still as beautiful as the evening before.
“I’m so sorry I fell asleep,” she whispered.
I took a deep breath and stretched, still waking up. “It’s okay.” My voice was coarse and raspy. “Not a big deal. It’s a slap in the face to George Lucas though.”
She chuckled lightly. “Since I’ve seen those movies at least a hundred times, I think he’ll let my transgression go.”
“Let’s hope so.” I yawned then ran my fingers through my hair. “What time is it?”
“Seven.”
“I’ve got to get up and head to class,” I said miserably. I preferred going back to sleep and passing the day in laziness but I knew I couldn’t.
“Me too.”
I sat up then felt my head spin slightly. When it subsided, I stood. “Do you need to leave now or can I shower?”
“No, I can wait.”
“Okay. Help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen.”
“Okay.”
I showered then stepped out with a towel around my waist. I heard Beatrice moving in the kitchen. “Do you have sugar for your coffee?” she called out.
“Top shelf in the cabinet,” I said back.
“I can’t reach it. Can you help me?”
I walked into the kitchen, not thinking about what I was wearing. “Sure.”
When she saw me, her eyes widened. Automatically, she stared at my wide chest and tight stomach. She didn’t move or flinch. Her eyes were honed in. Then she got red in the face and turned around, fidgeting with the coffee grounds.
I was used to doing whatever I wanted in my apartment and didn’t think about how inappropriately I was dressed. Oh well, it was too late now. I grabbed the sugar then placed it next to her on the counter. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
She didn’t look at me, her gaze downcast. “Okay.”
I headed back into my room and changed. When I thought about her reaction to me, I smiled. She was definitely attracted to me. I was used to the gawks and stares from women on a daily basis, but seeing the same look on her face was priceless. I wondered if she was just as affected by me as I was by her. Now I had my answer. But I guess it didn’t matter since she was emotionally unavailable. The thought made me feel hopeless all over again.
I grabbed my backpack then walked back into the kitchen. “I’m ready.”
“I made coffee,” she said. “I would have made breakfast but you only have butter and cheese in your refrigerator.”
I chuckled. “I eat out a lot.”
“No way,” she said sarcastically.
We headed to my truck then I drove back to her place. I turned on the radio but kept it low. I was still slightly asleep. I glanced at her every few minutes, surprised that she still looked perfect after a night of rest. Her face was free of make up but her eyes were still bright. Her clothes were slightly wrinkled but that was the only indication that she had woken up and rolled out of bed.
I parked in front of her apartment then jumped out of the truck.
She eyed me while she walked beside me. “What are you doing?”
“Walking you to your door.” Suddenly, I realized I’d never done that before. It was just impulsive. “If that’s okay…”
“No, it’s fine.” She reached her door then took her keys out. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, I hope you aren’t late for your first class.”
“Me too. Thanks for dinner last night.”
“Anytime.” I gave her a quick smile then turned around.
“Conrad?”
“Hmm?” I turned around but kept walking backwards.
“Thanks for being such a good friend.”
I stopped in my tracks and stared at her. “Of course.” For some reason, I felt like her words implied something more. I just didn’t know what it was.
“Bye.” She opened the door and walked inside.
As I headed to my car, my mouth stretched into a grin. Beatrice was a cool chick that I could hang out with and have a good time. She wasn’t my girlfriend but we had something special. Maybe if things continued this way, we could have something more. The longer I spent time with her, the more I realized she was the only person I ever wanted to spend time with.
***
Theo was practically running through the library. “Dude!”
“What?” I looked up from my book.
“Skye and Cayson broke up.”
My lungs froze and my book was forgotten. “Wait. What?”
“I guess they broke up like three or four months ago.”
That couldn’t be right. “Are you sure?”
“Totally. I texted Skye today and she didn’t respond, so I texted Trinity instead. That’s what she told me.”
My eyes were wide. “Why did they break up?”
He shrugged. “I guess because Cayson went to Stanford and they couldn’t do a long-distance relationship.”
“Wow…” I didn’t even know what to say. “Do they hate each other now?”
“I have no idea. But knowing them, I doubt it.”
“I just…can’t picture it. I thought they would be together forever.”
Silke came to the table then plopped down. “Are you talking about Skye and Cayson?”
“Did you just hear too?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Silke said. “I texted my brother and asked for the details but he wouldn’t budge. He just said they couldn’t work it out.”
“What’s he hiding?” Theo asked. “Did something else happen?”
“I don’t know…” I rubbed my chin. “But what could have happened? Those two are meant for each other. I can’t see either one crossing the other.”
“Maybe they just had a fight,” Silke said. “Or maybe Skye broke up with him so he would go to Stanford. I really don’t know.”
“Should we text Cayson and ask if he’s okay?” Theo said.
“It’s been three months,” I argued. “I’m sure he’s over it by now.”
Theo gave me a stupid look. “It’s Cayson. He’s the most sensitive straight guy I know.”
Silke jumped in. “Slade told me not to bother Cayson. He said he would murder me if I did.”
Theo thought for a moment. “Maybe he’s right. Whenever I’m going through something bad, I hate talking about it.”
“Yeah…” He had a point. “Does this mean they won’t be in the same room together ever again? Because that creates a problem for all of us.”
“They never should have gotten together.” Theo shook his head.
“Well, Christmas is coming up,” Silke said. “We’ll know then.”
I totally forgot about that. None of us went home for Thanksgiving because Uncle Sean and Aunt Scarlet were sick. Then they passed on the flu to everyone else. None of us wanted to catch it, so we stayed in Cambridge. I thought Skye and Cayson were still together so I didn’t even ask what they did for the holiday. “This is so fucking crazy.”
“I think they’ll be friends,” Silke said. “They are both really mature. They agreed on that in the beginning.”
“But break ups change things,” Theo said. “I wouldn’t want to see my ex all the time.”
“You don’t have any exes,” I argued.
“But if I did, I wouldn’t want to see them,” Theo said. “That’s going to be so awkward.”
“They’ll make it work,” Silke said. “I just wish Slade would tell me the details. He’s sealed like a safe.”
“We all know he’s loyal to Cayson,” I said.
“And Trinity is loyal to Skye,” Theo noted.
“That’s got to be awkward for Slade and Trinity,” Silke said.
“Yeah…” I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
“Should we send them a card or something?” Theo asked.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Silke snapped.
“You’re the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Theo snarled.
I pushed my book aside now that I couldn’t concentrate. Our lives would be different from that point onward. I sincerely hoped Cayson and Skye could be friends like they used to be. I didn’t want to pick sides, especially since I didn’t know why they broke up.