I've never had this. Men used me, and they took from me, but they never gave.
Ace licked me. It was sweet and sexy, and I felt my core tighten—another unfamiliar sensation. It was too much too soon. I felt like I'd come apart. My insides began to quiver, and I didn't know how to handle it. Tears freely fell from the corners of my eyes. I felt vulnerable, exposed.
"Ace, stop!" I cried out through a moan, unsure if I could do this.
He stopped, and his eyes met mine. What he saw there made him ignore my pleas.
"Give in to it, Alex. It's okay to feel this. It's okay to want it."
How could I argue? What could I say? The place between want and need was muddled with shame, but I didn't care. I wanted to feel. For once, I wanted to feel.
"Yes!" I cried out as his long fingers entered me.
"That's right, Alex. Let go. Come pretty for me, Princess."
His fingers pumped in and out of me, and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't even fathom why I would want to. I was lost in the sensation as I spasmed around his beautiful fingers. He lapped at me, tasting me. And when he was done, and reality wanted to set in, he wrapped me in his arms and held me to his chest, kissing me on the top of my head. "Sleep. Don't think, just sleep. And know that you're safe with me."
THE WARMTH I FELT FROM Ace's arms wrapped around me was so lovely I didn't want to open my eyes. I could tell he was up, and my breathing must've changed because he gave me a gentle squeeze and asked, "You awake?"
I peeked through my lashes and adjusted to the sunlight streaming in through the window. "Morning."
"I'd stay here all morning with you if I could, but Gunner's texted once, and Charlie's texted twice. I think they're eager to meet you."
"Remind me who Charlie is again?"
"She's Gunner's wife, your sister-in-law."
"And they have a son?" I remembered. I was only asking again because I was stalling. Not wanting to get up yet.
"Yep. He's a good kid. You'll like him."
"Did you message back?"
"Not yet, I was waiting to see how you felt after last night."
My shields flew up. "I'm fine," I said with a bit of a bite as I began pulling my body away from him. I'd rather go straight to my brother's than acknowledge that I felt all kinds of new to me emotions last night.
"Oh no, you don't," Ace said, flipping me on my back and pinning me to the bed. "I got through. Don't block me out."
"I wasn't Ace. Now, get off of me."
Ace searched my eyes again, trying to read me. I always thought my cold stare held back my emotions, but Ace saw through it.
"No," he answered easily.
"Ace," I bucked my hips, trying to push him off of me. Instead, I felt his bulge through his pants, and suddenly I became pliant in his arms. My body relaxed, and Ace saw and felt it. He let go of my hands, and pressed his cock into my center, pinning me to the bed in a different way. I was naked, but Ace was not. I wanted there to be nothing between us. But I wasn't begging him again. However, as his body pressed into mine, I couldn't help it; I ground my hips back, loving the feel of him.
My nipples puckered, and I reacted by grabbing and twisting them, not taking my eyes from Ace's as I did it. Maybe it was a taunt, or perhaps it was involuntary; a knee jerk reaction to how much I truly wanted a man for the first time in my life.
"Do you trust me?" Ace asked, pushing into me, eliciting a whimper to fall from my lips.
"Yes," I responded in a breathy whisper, and I had no idea why since I'd never trusted a single soul.
"Good answer, Princess. Good answer. Put your arms above your head, okay?" He searched my eyes, making sure I'd respond the way he needed me to. He must've liked what he read in them because as I lifted my hands above my head, he grasped both in one of his large hands. His other hand moved between us, and I could feel his finger slide between my lips entering me, slowly finger fucking me. His pace was too slow, but I had to trust him.
"Not going to fuck you yet. You're not ready."
A look of panic must've flashed over my features. I wondered, briefly, if my trust was misplaced? If he was toying with me?
"Watch me." He removed his hand from between my legs and pushed his pants down, revealing his gloriously big, fat, cock. I bit my lip, imagining what he would feel like inside of me-imagining myself liking it.
"I didn't tell you last night how good you tasted, did I? I was caught up in you. The taste of you, all of you."
I watched as he pumped his fingers back inside of me, and then as he withdrew them, they glistened. No one ever made me wet before. This was a brand-new thing for me.
He spread my juices over his thick shaft and pumped it twice with his fist, making me lick my lips in response. Watching him touch himself with me all over him was erotic and sensual.
He stopped touching himself. I wanted to demand he continue, but I stayed silent, anticipating what he'd say or do next. It was all brand new to me, even though I'd been touched countless times before, I'd never been this.
He moved his cock to my center, still gripping my wrists with his hand and slid his length against my clit. I wanted to move and push him inside of me, but it was impossible with his weight pinning me in place. He continued the onslaught back and forth, gliding over my clit, pushing the tip of his cock through my lips. I broke eye contact and looked between our bodies watching with fascination. He wasn't fast. He wasn't pushing in, this again, was all about me.
I could feel the quivers signaling I was close.
"I'm going to release your hands. I want you to grab your breasts again like you were doing before, okay?"
I nodded, readily agreeing. He braced himself on each side of me, our chests no longer touching. My mind was focused on us; on him.
"Watch us. Watch me. I will never do anything to you that you don't want. I will never take what isn't mine to take."
Back and forth he continued to slide. Every time his head glistened from between my folds, I wanted to scream, but something held me back. It was the most erotic sight I'd ever seen, and yet, I held back.
"Let go," Ace whispered while continuing to move against my clit. And then I did. And it was better than last night. I had less indecision, less shame. I think he knew the minute I started to come down, that my mind began to race, because as soon as my body stopped shaking, he said, "I'm not done."
Part of me hoped he would push in all the way and finish himself, but he didn't. He pressed two fingers inside of me, then withdrew them, covered in my cum. Ace leaned back on his heels, spread it over his dick, and pumped his fist around his massive cock.
"Let me," I demanded. This was easy for me. This was known territory, and yet still, it was foreign.
"No, Princess. I told you; this is about you. You need to see what you do to me. How you look covering me. This is about the real Alex. The one who's filled with insecurities because I'm giving her something new. This is about you seeing what the real you can do to me without you even touching me. Watch how you coat me. How hard you make me. It's you, Alex. Just you."
He continued his fast pace with his fist sliding over his cock. He was getting close. I could tell. My breathing picked up as he pumped, and I found myself sliding my hand between my own legs. Another first for me. Ace's eyes flashed, but I was getting lost in him without noticing. Another orgasm slammed into me. It came quickly and was less extreme than my last one. I kept my eyes trained on Ace, though, and cum spurted from his tip all over his hand.
"Ace," I sighed, feeling overcome with emotion.
"I know, Princess. I know."
Chapter Eleven
Ace
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I washed the cum from my hand. One of my scars was barely visible in this mirror. I usually ignored it. I didn't want the reflection of what happened to me showing. I didn't want to fucking see it, but for some strange reason, it felt less relevant with Alex. Her eyes didn't lock on my scars with pity. She didn't linger like i
t disgusted her. She just saw me.
I was walking a thin line with her. I knew if I pushed her too fast that she would have the capability of slipping into the role she was trained for. I hated that fucking thought, but trained is precisely what those fucking Santos did to her. Her mask would sometimes slip, and it was in those moments of ecstasy that her true self would shine the brightest. I hadn't meant to have Alex in my bed. I was intent on creating boundaries between us, but when Alex woke me, yelling out in her sleep, I had to close the distance. I knew what it was like to have nightmares that I couldn't escape from. She needed me. In so many ways, I could see that I needed her too. I didn't know if we would be possible, or even why we should be, considering the moment I'd seen her eyes in a picture, I was infatuated with her. All I knew was that I was, and I liked it. Nothing could have prepared me for who she actually was, though. It was one thing to look at a picture and feel drawn to it; it was another to come face to face with her and see her strength and vulnerability.
I walked back into my bedroom, not bothering to hide the half chub I still sported. I had a feeling where Alex was concerned, it would always fucking be there. Alex was lying naked on her side. Her tanned skin was flawless, and she had a lazy look about her. I liked seeing her carefree. If I could get away with lying in bed all day with her, I would, but I knew Gunner. I knew that he'd be here soon if I didn't text him back. He was excited to meet her. Selfishly, I worried that when they met, I'd lose the time I had with her. I also worried about how Gunner would handle whatever was going on between Alex and me. I knew I looked like an asshole. I just met her and rescued her, and now there was this thing between us. I thought he would think I was taking advantage. I knew it could look that way, but it was so much more.
I don't know how I knew what she needed, but it seemed like I did... At least I hoped I did. I wanted her to just feel like a woman and not like she was being used. I wanted to give to her. I wanted her to feel confident in her skin and feel okay about opening up. I had no idea how she made me feel like I could open up so easily.
I sat beside Alex and grabbed my phone from the nightstand reading my texts. Everyone wanted to know what our plan was. Deciding it could wait another minute or ten to respond to everyone, I asked, "Are you hungry? Do you want coffee or anything?"
"I'd love coffee. It's actually my vice."
I pulled on some boxer briefs, and when I returned with two steaming cups of coffee, saying, "I hope you like it black. I don't have anything to put in it."
It looked like she was lost in her thoughts. After a long pause, I heard, "Black is good, Ace." She sat up, bending her knees to her chest and grabbed the coffee mug from me.
"Careful, it's hot."
She sipped the coffee slowly, and began talking. It didn't seem like she was with me until her confessions began trickling out. "Those were my first orgasms," she said bitterly. "I've had sex. I never enjoyed it. I've had so much disgusting, unwanted sex, and those were my first."
I gripped my coffee cup, restraining myself from throwing it against the wall. I knew, she pretty much said what she's gone through, but I fucking hated it. She was too precious, too fucking special to live a life like that.
"Was it too much for you?" I had to ask. I thought I was doing the right thing, but if I hurt her, I wasn't sure what I'd do. I needed to know if I helped or if I was making things worse? I was no psychologist. I'd seen my share, but that didn't make me a fucking shrink.
"It's confusing," she responded after several long moments.
I felt like an ass. I thought I'd been giving her something she needed.
"Let me clarify. I've never had something good come from being touched like that."
Fuck, I'd fucked up.
Perhaps she was as good as I was at reading people because she pushed, "Last night and this morning, it was more. It was so much more than anything I'd ever had before. I don't know what the future holds, but thank you for showing me that there's more to touch than what I've known. It was a gift. Thank you."
I liked what she said, but it also felt like she wouldn't be staying. All I could think was that the fear that her grandfather would get to her was intense. It was her words that made me prolong her meeting her brother. I didn't know how I knew; I just knew she needed more time. I kissed the top of her head and grabbed my cell. "Stay here. I'm going to make a call. I'll be right back."
I called Charlie, Gunner's wife. I didn't call her often, so when the first thing she said when she answered was, "Ace?" I wasn't surprised.
"Charlie," I said back.
"Is everything okay?" Her voice held a slight tremor to it and considering we were at war with Hades and I had just come from the same place where Charlie had been held captive, I wasn't surprised.
"Everything's okay, Charlie. I'm calling you 'cause Alex needs time."
"Alex?"
"Alejandra," I explained. "Listen, she spent her whole life in that shit hole. She needs time. I need you to talk to Gunner. Convince him a little time is what's best for her. Safety isn't something she knows. I want her to feel that. Give her a little time to decompress after everything we've been through."
"I understand," Her voice was quiet as she spoke. I knew that she would get it, probably better than most.
"Tell him it's what's best, and as soon as I know that she can deal, she'll meet her brother."
"Did they...? I mean, is she like I was?"
"Different than you, but I still think we need to do this with care."
I could hear pain in her voice, and I knew that what Enrico did to her still haunted her. "All right, I'll talk to him. Promise you'll call, though, and keep us posted."
"I will."
I hung up the phone and saw that Alex had put a new T-shirt of mine on. She must've grabbed one from my drawers. I didn't mind, though. I liked her in my clothes.
"Who'd you call?"
"I called Charlie. I'm not ready to give up my time with you yet. I hope that's okay with you?"
I swear I saw relief wash over her face for the briefest of moments. "I'd like that, Ace."
MY HAIR WAS WET FROM my shower. I finished pulling on a pair of jeans and wondered where Alex was. She was taking a nap when I got in the shower, so I was surprised to see that she wasn't there when I got out.
I moved to the kitchen and stood, staring at her. She had multiple cupboards open and had several boxes down from my pantry.
She appeared to be reading the labels. The look on her face was priceless. I couldn't tell if she was dumbfounded or intrigued.
I chuckled, "Alex, what are you doing?"
She huffed, "Solo quería una taza de café."
"You want a cup of coffee?" I laughed. "That's protein powder."
"I see that. What do you need protein powder for, and where are your coffee beans?"
"I put it in smoothies."
"What's a smoothie?"
"Fruit, kale, coconut milk, whatever veggies I have blended into a drink."
Her face blanched. "That sounds disgusting. Why not just eat your fruit?"
"It's not bad. I'll make one for you when I get some fruit. All the fruit in my fridge looks bad since I haven't been home."
"What are all these boxes of things? Is this food?" She held up a box of microwaveable popcorn.
I laughed again and could tell that all of the processed crap in America was blowing her mind.
"That's popcorn. You put it in the microwave."
"Odd," she said, staring at the boxes. I couldn't help but laugh at her.
"What?"
"Nothing. It's cute, that's all."
"I'm not finding much amusing, Ace."
I moved to her, grabbed the protein powder, and put it back on the shelf, then grabbed the can of Folgers and handed it to her. "Here, this is the coffee."
She opened the lid and looked inside. "Where are the beans? You mean it comes pre-ground? That doesn't seem very fresh."
"I'm sure it's not compared to the coffee
you're used to. The grocery store has beans. I'll pick some up when I go to the store next."
She smiled at me, and I liked the way she seemed genuinely confused by the contents of my kitchen. I couldn't help it, I pulled her into a hug.
She squeezed me back, then asked, "What was that for?"
I chuckled. "I think I'm going to enjoy watching you learn about new things."
"If you're drinking vegetables with kale, I'm not so sure about that."
But, damn. She was cute when she made me laugh.
Chapter Twelve
Alex
Not meeting my brother right away was a reprieve. I wasn't sure I deserved it but was grateful for it anyway. I needed to get my bearings, and doing regular non-eventful things with Ace seemed to help.
After Ace told me we were staying in, things changed. We ate meals together and slept beside one another, but he didn't give me another orgasm. I was okay with that. It gave me less guilt. I wasn't sure what was happening between us. He'd been everything I'd ever wanted, but I knew I wanted my freedom more. The way I was feeling was all so confusing. So, Ace just holding me was helping; at least I thought it was.
I was sitting on the couch in the living room, staring out the window. Ace was working in the office. I was still in a fog, trying to wrap my head around everything.
I heard Ace's heavy footsteps as they headed down the hall towards me. I looked away from the window and met his eyes. So much depth lurked behind those dark eyes. There were so many more questions I had for him. I wanted to get to know him and find out more about him, but I was afraid. I knew there was shelf-life for all of this.
Ace plopped down on the couch beside me, grabbed the remote, and flicked on the television. Our legs barely touched, but the smallest brush of his leg against mine made me hyper-aware.
Explosive (A Bleeding Scars MC) Page 8