by Evie Monroe
“Oh, yes it is. It needs to end, now.”
He stroked his short beard and contemplated this. “What if I don’t want it to be?”
My jaw dropped a little. His eyes had a way of pinning me down and making me want to agree. But I had to stay firm on this. For my sake, his sake, and especially Alena’s. “No. You don’t seem to understand. We can’t. If he finds out what we’ve done, it will be very bad, for both of us.”
“You’re divorced, aren’t you?”
I nodded.
“So what’s the problem?” He let out a quick laugh. “What is he, jealous?”
Oh, he had no idea. If he had any idea of what Viktor was capable of, he wouldn’t be laughing. “More than just jealousy. First of all, he knows some very powerful people. I don’t doubt that if he found out I’d moved on, he’d take me court and sue me for custody, just out of spite for me. And now that I know he’s capable of killing people, I don’t put it past him, either. He’d destroy you.”
He laughed some more, in that sexy way, as I tried to stop my body from responding. “You don’t think I can take care of myself?”
“If you could, would he be here working with your club?”
“Ouch! You hurt me!” He said, grabbing his heart.
I knew Zain could hold his own, but Viktor wasn’t a man to be trifled with. They were both very dangerous men. Most people wouldn’t want to get on their bad side. If the two of them ended up in a fight, it’d be explosive. “I’m not willing to take any chances where Alena’s concerned.”
And I didn’t want either of them to get hurt. Especially because I knew if they did fight, it would be over me.
“Okay, worry about your kid. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I’d rather not worry about any of it. Because I know it would be very bad, and I’d hate to know I was the cause of it.”
“So that’s the reason you were ignoring my calls?” he said, so flippantly, like he didn’t believe me.
“I was ignoring your calls because I thought he’d hired you to spy on me. Yes, he’s jealous. I ended things a while ago because I couldn’t take his controlling me. He doesn’t seem to understand that it’s over. He’s been trying to get back with me, the entire time.” I swallowed. “I haven’t been with anyone at all because I’ve been worried what he might say. You’re the first.”
He smirked, obviously proud of that little victory, that he’d been so irresistible to me. “But if you didn’t have Viktor breathing down your neck, you’d have called me back?”
I squinted at him. “Didn’t you hear what I said? He could kill you. He would kill you, if he knew what we were doing. Once, when we were out to dinner, a man looked at me in a way he didn’t like, and he pummeled the guy in the parking lot. That was just for looking, Zain. You’ve done a lot more than that.”
The smirk on his face grew. I bet he was remembering it, just like I’d started to. I fought the heat that crept over my cheeks. I needed to make this point and not let his sexy everything sidetrack me.
I looked away and hardened my voice. “Even you being here right now? It’s a bad idea. You should go.”
He hitched a shoulder. “I ain’t worried.”
I trudged over to the cabinets and pulled out some paper towels, a scrub brush, and some cleaner. “You should be.”
“Let me help you,” he said, following me out to the living room.
I was about to tell him not to, that he really needed to make himself scarce, just in case Viktor was spying on me, but then I saw the state of the living room again and realized I needed the help. I handed him the brush. “All right. But after this, you need to go. Let me get some water.”
We spent the better part of the next hour on our hands and knees, scrubbing. I put on some classic rock and got him a beer. As we worked, he told me a little about the motorcycle club he belonged to, and what his dealings had been with Viktor. So far, they’d only met each other two or three times, and I got the feeling he’d rubbed Zain the wrong way. Didn’t surprise me in the least.
“So, this motorcycle club?” I asked him, curious. “You and your brothers just go around, taking things that don’t belong to you and selling them for profit?”
He cocked a grin at me. “Pretty much. And we hang out. Shoot the shit. Do fundraisers for underprivileged kids. Go on long rides together. Every single one of those men . . .they’re like my family. Which is good ‘because I don’t have anyone else.”
I sighed. “I hate being alone, not having anyone to rely on. I think about my family in Russia all the time but they married me off and wiped their hands of me. They would be so disappointed, and I’d be so humiliated, if they knew what happened.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You never told them you got the divorce?”
I shook my head. “We had a bit of a falling out before Alena was born. They were upset with me because Viktor had told them I was giving him trouble, wanting to take English lessons and finish my paralegal certificate. My mother was very traditional. She told me that as Viktor’s wife, my job was to be his whore in the bedroom and spend the rest of my time in the kitchen. I disagreed.”
“Holy shit.” He laughed. Fucking and cooking? What fucking century are they from?”
“Right?” I was happy he agreed with me on this. “So, I told them to mind their own business, and I haven’t spoken to them in almost five years. I know they’d be furious if they found out I’m raising their granddaughter as a single mother. Viktor threatened to tell them, but I don’t think he has told them anything.”
He threw the sponge in the bucket. “Shit, girl. You really have been alone, haven’t you? And with that walking tornado in there? I wouldn’t just need mental help. I’d probably be locked in a fucking asylum by now.”
I smiled at the validation. “She’s not always this crazy,” I said, pointing at the room. The beige carpet was now a nice shade of pink, the once-white walls were also kind of pink, too. “You just caught her on an off-day.”
“Riiight.” It was clear from his tone of voice that he didn’t believe me.
“Okay, yeah. She’s been acting out more and more. I think it’s because whenever she goes to Viktor’s house, he ignores her. I know he loves her. He just doesn’t know how to show it. Especially to a little girl.”
“I noticed. The guy seems to be a robot with only one button: Extreme Asshole Mode.”
I started to shake my head, but he was right. Viktor had gradually become completely charmless and emotionless. “I guess that’s what happens when you kill people for a living.”
I had a kink in my back from hunching over, so I arched it and rubbed down low.
“I just wish he didn’t have to take it out on her. Oh, he doesn’t hit us or anything. I don’t think he ever would. But the reason Alena was scared of you? Him. Whenever she sees a man, she gets scared. It was like living with a time bomb. We never could anticipate what would set him off and get him angry.”
“Hell,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
We spent the rest of the time, talking about trivial stuff. We discussed what we liked to do for fun. His answer? Play pool, fix his bike, and hang with his brothers. My answer? Read and continue my schooling. We discussed what we wanted to do when we grew up—he said he just wanted to bike around the country and see the sights; I told him I thought about going to law school so I could get a better career. When I asked him where he thought he’d be in fifteen years, he said, hanging out, doing the same shit. I told him I wanted to get Alena into Harvard.
So basically, where I had ambition, he had no plans for his life other than just to hang out and take things day by day. I was a little shocked at how relaxed he was about everything. Viktor was so Type A, especially when it came to money. But honestly? Zain’s laid-back style complemented my own. I’d always felt like I was wound tighter than a wristwatch. Being with Zain made me feel like I could breathe.
“Aren’t you worried about running out of time to do the thi
ngs you want to do?” I asked him.
He laughed. “Yeah. I was. I always thought I’d have all the time in the world to get where I wanted to go. But I’m exactly where I want to be, with my family, my place in the world. I love my life. I enjoy every day. And I sure as hell don’t want to spend whatever days I have doing something I don’t love. Life’s too damn short for that.”
I stared at him, thinking. I like being a paralegal, but I didn’t know if I loved it. What I loved was being a mom, but I found I couldn’t do that well with Viktor constantly berating me. As I watched Zain work, I realized I envied him. I envied that he was so happy and relaxed with who he was and his place in the world.
It was attractive as hell. It made me want to tackle him, right there, on the living room floor and suck up some of his confidence.
Somehow, I resisted. When we were nearly finished, I threw the brush into the bucket of blood-red water and looked at my hands. They were bright red, the pads of my fingers wrinkled. I was sweaty and dirty and probably looked like hell. “Goodness. I need a shower,” I said, looking down at my clothes.
His ears perked up, and he gave me that sexy smile.
“That wasn’t an invitation,” I said to him, cocking an eyebrow at him.
He snapped his fingers. “Damn.”
He looked so irresistibly cute like that, on his knees in my living room, grinning like a little boy. After watching the muscles of his arms bulging as he worked out the stains in the carpet for a good hour, I’d hoped the shower would cool me down from the dirty things I was thinking.
But it’d have to wait. Not even until Alena went to bed. Indefinitely.
I refused to have another man sleep under the same roof as Alena until I was absolutely sure I could trust him, and knew she trusted him, too. Maybe not until we were engaged. I was adamant about that. I’d heard the horror stories, and despite Viktor always accusing me of being a bad mother, I’d made a vow. Alena would always come first.
I checked the clock. It was nearly eight. I stood up and let out a groan as I brushed the grime off my skirt. “I’d better get her into bed.”
I went down the hall to Alena’s bedroom. She was on the bed, lying under the blankets, reading books with a flashlight. I lifted the sheets off her head and felt the heat radiating from her body. “How can you breathe like that?”
“Dunno,” she said as I smoothed down her hair. It was dry now, but the unruly curls were everywhere. She had all of her princess dolls under there with her, lined up on her pillow. “Who’s that boy?”
“That . . . boy?” I pointed to the door.
She nodded, gripping her princess dolls in her tiny hands and moving them off the pillow so I could straighten her little body among them.
“Oh. Nobody really. He’s just a friend of mine. Why? You don’t like him? Did he scare you?”
“No. I’m not scared of anything, mommy,” she said as I tried to tuck her in, lifting up Elsa and Anna. “Wait.”
I stopped. “What’s the problem? Did you brush your teeth?” That was the usual thing she forgot.
“Yes, of course. And I used the potty, too. I just didn’t introduce that boy to Elsa.”
I blinked. I didn’t think she wanted to see him. Yes, she said she wasn’t scared, but she often did that, and then came running to sleep in my bed in the middle of the night. “I can bring him in, if you’d like to do the introductions?”
She sat up in bed and smoothed her hair out. What a little heartbreaker. “Yes, please, Mommy.”
I went out to the living room, where Zain was still working on a stubborn part of the carpet. “You’ve been summoned.”
His brow wrinkled.
I pointed down the hall. “I advise you not to wait. She can get bossy.”
He jumped to his feet and headed down the hallway. I stood behind him as he said, in a gentler, but still extremely sexy voice, “You wanted me?”
He went deeper into the room and I followed, leaning on the doorjamb as Alena sat up in her bed. “This is Queen Elsa. Elsa, this is . . .”
“Zain,” he said, taking the doll’s plastic hand between his thumb and forefinger and shaking it a little. “Hey, how are you? Nice dress.”
Alena sighed. “She’s a queen, so you really have to bow.”
“Sorry.” He dipped his head. “Better?”
Alena ran a scrutinizing eye over him and finally nodded as she lifted another doll from the pile. “This, here, is Tiana. She’s a princess who used to be a waitress.”
I watched for at least a half-hour, as my daughter introduced him to every one of her forty-three dolls. Viktor never would’ve had taken the time for this.
But Zain? He knelt there at her bedside, very quietly and respectfully, and shook the tiny plastic hand of every single one of them.
Alena was clearly in heaven.
And I was right there beside her.
I couldn’t help it. It brought more than a few tears to my eyes.
Chapter Nineteen
Zain
Who the fuck knew there were that many princesses and queens in the world? Really, someone should’ve gotten Disney to shut that shit down.
Still, by the end of it, I think Alena wasn’t quite so scared of me anymore. So, all in all, progress. And who knew kids were kind of funny? They really weren’t so bad.
When I turned around, Sasha quickly flitted past me, telling her daughter it was past her bedtime and turned off the light, but I was pretty sure before the room went dark, I saw tears in Sasha’s eyes.
So that was probably why, when we left the darkened room and went back down the hallway, she grabbed my hand, stood on her toes, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for that.”
“For what?”
“For paying attention to her. You didn’t have to. But she clearly likes you,” she said, holding my hand in both of hers. “Didn’t you notice? You’re a natural.”
I laughed. “Well, I’ve always had that kind of reputation with the ladies.”
“Oh, have you?” she teased. “I hadn’t noticed.”
We went back out to the living room. The place was clean—or at least, as clean as it was going to get, from the number that little rascal had done on it. I grabbed the bucket, brought it to the sink, and emptied it out. When I finished cleaning it, I turned.
And looked at Viktor’s gorgeous ex-wife.
I still couldn’t believe that one. But now it kind of made sense. He was used to bullying people and putting them under his control, and he’d controlled her. I could tell from the fear in her eyes every time I mentioned his name. He’d had her under his thumb. It was amazing she’d been able to get herself free. I gave her a lot of credit for that. But something kept her from pulling away from him altogether.
Alena.
“I should go,” I said to her, grabbing my helmet.
“Okay,” she said, walking me toward the door. “Zain . . .”
I turned to her. She looked so small standing there; I couldn’t even imagine her with that big dick of a man. He was the kind of guy I wanted to protect her from. His temper was out of control. And she lived in a crazy world. I could only imagine what it must be like when his temper boiled over.
“Can I call you?” I asked.
She shook her head slowly and gave me a sheepish look. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Somehow, I knew that was coming. “Because of Viktor?”
“Yeah. Because of Viktor.”
There to save the Cobras or not, that fuckhead was turning out to be a real thorn in my side. First he went and controlled my club, and now I found out he was throwing a wrench into the thing I had going on with the first girl who actually could have had some sticking-power. I gritted my teeth. “He shouldn’t be telling you who you can and can’t date, Sasha.”
“Yeah, but . . .” she looked up at me with those sad brown eyes and shifted from side to side. “I care about you, Zain. I don’t want you to get tangled up in this.”
She shook her head. “Trust me. You don’t. Viktor doesn’t forgive. And it could ruin everything. We’re not just talking about me losing custody of Alena. He wouldn’t just turn on you; he’d turn on your club. He’s vindictive. Are you willing to risk everything you have?”
“I ain’t gonna. All I know is that right is right. And he can’t go around controlling people and getting away with it. He needs to learn a lesson or two about the Steel Cobras. Believe me, if he learns, it’ll help you and the club.”
“I don’t think he can be taught. And he can destroy everything, Zain. It’s too risky.”
I searched her eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you or Alena. Will you trust me?”
She drew her lower lip under her teeth. “What do you—”
I took her face in my hands and drew her close to me, setting a quick, dry kiss on her lips. “Just trust me, and I’ll take care of Viktor. All right?”
Her eyes widened. “You’re not going to tell him about us, are you?”
“No. Of course not.”
She gave me a worried look, unsure what I had in mind. Hell, I wasn’t sure what I had in mind, either. But I wasn’t willing to let her go like this. There had to be more. And I was going to figure out what it was.
I went down the rickety steps outside the building, to where the neon signs from Chow Fun Chinese Restaurant flickered on the broken sidewalks. People were still dining inside, and as I hit the pavement, someone walked out with a bag of take-out. The smell of Chinese food made my mouth water, especially since I hadn’t eaten anything but that one burned nugget all day.
I had her taste on my mouth, instead. God, what I wouldn’t have given to take her to bed and feast on her all night long. I got that she was trying to look out for her daughter. I respected that, but hell . . . tearing myself away from her was damn hard.
That thought lodged in my head, I kick-started my Harley and headed toward my house. As I drove, still thinking of Sasha and her cute little kid and wondering how the fuck I’d ever get them out from under Viktor’s control, I glanced in one of my rear-view mirrors and saw the single headlight of a bike on my tail.