by Edwina Fort
Anyway, like I was saying, don’t feel sorry for Tucker. Instead, cheer me on and let’s let the games begin!
Dammit, now it was me sounding like Che Guevara…
Naphtali
What had happened to the girl in the yellow dress?
I mean, don’t get me wrong, Free was still fine as hell, but she wasn’t the girl I remembered from high school. Now, she was all…Pent up. Tweed skirt, tight bun, penny loafers. She looked like that sexy schoolteacher you fantasized about unraveling.
Damn! And she hated my ass. But what really hit me harder than it ever did was her fear. I mean, don’t get me wrong, when I was a boy, I saw her afraid of me all the time, but my dumb ass didn’t have enough sense to do something about it. But now…now, I couldn’t stand to see that look in her eyes. I didn’t want her afraid of me, I’d changed.
Well… At least I’d changed as far as she was concerned. When I was younger, I didn’t know how to deal with my strong feelings for her and the fact that she thought I was a piece of sh*t. Often times, I was angry that I desired someone way out of my league. Free was so different from me. She was smart and kind, and I was just the piece of sh*t jock that wanted her to be kind to me.
And what did I do? I picked on her and lashed out, trying to get her to notice me. And now, she hated the very ground I walked on. No doubt, she was out there telling her people that she refused to see me.
I grinned as I rested my arms on the back of the couch. Too f*cking bad, she wasn’t getting rid of me.
What? Did y’all think I’d changed that much? Ha! Yeah right… Now that I’d found my girl in the yellow dress again, I think I’ll keep her. The first thing I had to do was show her that she could trust me and didn’t have to be afraid of me anymore. I don’t care what it took, I will show her that I’m not her bully anymore but her lover. And then, we’ll see what we can do about replacing the look of hate on her face with pleasure.
Yeah…sh*t, I got an erection just thinking about unraveling her. First thing I would do is take that stiff ass bun out her hair, freeing it. And then, I’d tear that tweed skirt from her body and run my tongue--
The sound of the door opening brought my thoughts to a halt. I shifted on the seat, adjusting myself so that she couldn’t see that I was standing at attention for her.
“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting,” she said, bringing her little notepad and her cup of coffee to the psych chair that sat off to the side of the couch I sat on.
I smiled. “No worries. I thought you’d gone out there to try and get rid of me.”
She chuckled, shaking her head, although she had yet to look me in the eye. “No, I wouldn’t do that. You need help and I’m a doctor. So, let’s talk about it.”
“Should I lie down on the couch?” I joked.
Her gaze came to mine. “If you like…” Her voice was still so very soft. She had the perfect voice for being a psychiatrist.
“So, you told me earlier that your boss has you here because you smoked an itty, bitty, little joint from time to time. Is that correct?”
“What happened to you, Free?”
My question caught her off guard, for a moment before she got herself together, it caused her to be ruffled. I smiled, realizing another reason I picked on her. I liked to see her ruffled…it was sexy.
She cleared her throat. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
“In school, you were so…so, Free. Now, you don’t seem happy. It’s like you’re weighed down.” She looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time, until her iron composure that I was beginning to hate settled back in place.
“Tucker, if we’re going to do this, I’m going to need you to stay focused.” She stood and walked toward her desk to retrieve a file. My gaze fell to her hips and that luscious behind. That was something that had changed since school. Free had thickened up nicely.
“Now, it says here that my recommendation is what’s going to be used to determine whether or not you’ll be reinstated on the force. Is that correct?”
I exhaled. “Yeah, my captain tripping hard. I tried to tell him nobody comes to rehab for weed.”
“You do understand that this is not a rehab, right? We’re a mental wellness clinic. We believe that the addiction is defeated here.” She tapped her head with her little finger.
“But that’s just it. Can you really call marijuana an addiction? It’s herbal…”
She wrote something down on her pad before she spoke. “Well, tell me this, if it’s not an addiction, then why haven’t you quit, seeing as to how it’s come in the way of your job performance?”
I held up my finger. “First of all, I can quit whenever I like. As you know, I can be an asshole sometimes. The weed helps me not to be, that’s all…”
She tapped her lip with her pen and I damn near growled. This woman was so goddamn sexy, I was finding it hard to focus. She had to know she became the making love to my psychiatrist fantasy of every man that sat on this couch, watching her do her thing.
I inhaled sharply as that thought stirred that mean son of b*tch inside me. Instantly, my hand twitched for a blunt. You see, that was my secret. Weed kept that killer inside of me chilled the f*ck out.
Now y’all know…
“The part that concerns me is that you speak of marijuana as if it’s a fix for a problem. And if that’s the case, then it’s something that you are dependent on, very much like an addiction.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I understand that, but I wouldn’t look at it that way. Really, it’s quite simple. Marijuana affect my mood and makes me a kinder person. I don’t understand what the big deal is.”
She was back to writing on her little pad. “Okay, I think I understand where you're coming from and how to help you so that at the end of your suspension, we can get you reinstated with a clean bill of health.”
Damn, this was breezier than I thought. Must be somebody up there smiling down on me. Who knew Free Spirit was going to be my doctor for the next year? But I can tell you what, she will be in my bed in the next few weeks. I can already tell she was going to be a tough nut to crack, which is why I’m giving it a few weeks instead of a few days. But make no mistake about it… I was going to be f*cking my psychiatrist very soon.
“Alright, Doc, what you got?”
“By you only having an issue with marijuana and not anything stronger, I don’t think we need to have the private one-on-one sessions. For my clients with mild addictions or those who have overcome their previous addictions and just need a little encouragement to help them stay the course, I have a group meeting that meets every other Tuesday. I’m going to sign you up for that.”
Well, that took some of the wind out of my sails. I was looking forward to our private sessions.
“And if it’s being a kinder person that attracts you to marijuana, then we’re going to work on helping you be kinder without it.” She smiled and I licked my lips because I wanted to kiss her so f*cking bad.
“How does that sound?”
I held up my hands. “You’re the doctor.”
“Good…also, I would like for you to go and adopt a kitten before we meet again.”
“Say what?”
She bit her bottom lip. “A kitten, a baby cat.”
“Yeah, I know what a baby cat is. Why the hell would I go and adopt one?”
“Mr. Pelletier, let’s get a few things understood.” Oh, so now I was Mr. Pelletier. “At the end of this year, your agency is going to want my recommendation about whether or not you should be reinstated on the force. I want to say yes, I do. But if you give me a hard time and question my methods, I’m afraid I’m going to have to tell them no. Please don’t make me out to be the bad guy.”
I exhaled, she had me there. F*ck, I had to do what she said for more than just that reason. I didn’t want her to look at me like the bad guy because I was trying to get her into my bed, and I needed to kill the images she had of me as a f*cking bully.
“B
ut I’m not really a cat person…you know?”
She nodded. “I do, but we’re trying to awaken the kindness inside of you without marijuana. So, adopting a pet is a very good start.”
I smiled. “Okay then, I’ll adopt a dog.”
“Yeah, it’s just that in my opinion, cats are kinder creatures, and they’re definitely cuter.”
“Cuter?” I might as well put on a f*cking tutu and start doing fairy flips. What the hell…
She nodded with a big grin on her face. “Yeah…Cuter.”
“And when you give your kitty a name, try and tap into your inner sensitivity when you do. So that every time you call him or her, you’re reminded that yes, you are a kind person in here.” She tapped her chest.
I nodded. Give my cat a p*ssy name…got it.
“And then, bring him or her to the meeting and introduce it to us.”
“Come again.”
She smiled. “We’d like to meet your inner kindness.” What the hippy kind of sh*t… I have never in my life heard of this kind of therapy.
“Okay, let me get this straight. You want me to go and adopt a kitty. Give it a bullsh*t ass name—”
She began to shake her head at me, clearly upset. “Please, Mr. Pelletier, refrain from using such language. It’s not bullsh*t, it’s kindness. Remember…that emotion we’re trying to get you to feel without the help of marijuana?”
I nodded. “Oh, so sorry…please forgive me. I mean a kind name.” The smile was back on her face. “And then bring the mutha fu—” I cleared my throat. “The kitten to the meeting and introduce it to a bunch of crackheads?”
Her mouth opened as if I'd slapped her. "Tucker! This is a no-judgment zone. You don't want anybody to judge you, do you?”
“Well, that all depends. Is there anybody else here for weed?”
She began to sputter, nice and ruffled. “That’s beside the point. We don’t use the term crackhead inside of these walls.”
I held up my hands. “My fault. Dopies…”
She shook her head. “We don’t use that either.”
“What am I allowed to use, Doc?”
“Thank you for asking. If you must call them something, then call them fellow patients in need of a helping hand like myself.” And then she was back to smiling at me.
“So yeah, I’m not going to say that. So how about I just call them people.”
“Perfect!” she gushed.
“You want me to adopt a kitty, give it a kind name, and then bring it here and introduce it to people with drug problems?”
She nodded. “Yeppers!”
“Hmmmm,” I said as I sat back on the couch.
“What are you feeling, Naphtali?”
My gaze came to hers. “Honestly?”
“Yes, honestly.”
“I feel f*cked up. I don’t want to adopt a f*cking cat; I hate cats. I definitely don’t want to bring the little mutha f*cka in here and introduce it to a room full of f*cking crackheads.”
“And yet, this is my request, and I am the one who must sign on the dotted line to get you reinstated. So technically, you have no choice.”
“Exactly,” I growled.
“And how does that make you feel?”
“What? The fact that you’ve taken away my choice?”
“Yes.”
I thought about her question, trying to examine my f*cking feelings. “It makes me feel…Helpless.”
For a minute, it looked as if glee danced in her eyes before her ever so dependable resolve settled back in place. She wrote something down in her notepad before her gaze came back to mine.
“But Doc, it’s not good for me to feel helpless.”
She swallowed as she began to chew on her bottom lip again. “And why is that?” she asked so low if I wasn’t watching her mouth, I wouldn’t have heard it.
“Because when I do, a ruthless mutha f*cka awakens inside of me.” She had no idea just how honest I was being. But then she said something that surprised the sh*t out of me.
“Come now, Mean Tucker. Surely a little kitty cat won’t cause that other side of you to awaken. In fact, you can rest assured that the random acts of kindness I have planned for you will make sure that the other side of you stays asleep.”
Chapter 4
The Book House
Free
By the time I closed the clinic on Friday night, I was so tired it took all the strength I had to put one foot in front of the other as I headed to my car. Tomorrow, I was going to sleep till noon, no matter how much my body protested staying in the bed so long.
“Free…”
A scream froze in my throat as Dillion materialized out of the shadows next to my car. I put my hand on my chest, trying to still my racing heart.
“Dillion, don’t do that! You scared the heck out of me! Why are you skulking in the shadows like some kind of crazy man?”
He grinned as his gaze took me in, lingering on my breasts. “Why haven’t you taken any of my calls?”
I shook my head as I took my keys out of my purse. “Why would I?”
“Because I love you and you love me.”
“What?!” I looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Love? Is that what you call cheating on me with my sister? If that’s love, I don’t want to have anything to do with it.”
I went to try and put my key in the door, but he moved so suddenly blocking my way, he frightened me. I took several steps back.
“Move!” I growled.
“Wait! You have to hear me out first.”
“I don’t have to do anything, I’ve heard enough!” I went to take a step toward my car, but he moved back in my way.
“Angie is forcing me to marry Laureen! You have to know I would never willingly give you up for her,” he blurted.
I folded my arms. “Well, your story sure has changed. What happened to it being my fault and you going to her because she was warmer and made time for you?”
He shook his head. “Lies! I didn’t expect you to block my calls and refuse to see me. I thought my words would make you fight for us.”
“What the hell did you think was going to happen? That I was so desperate that I would be your side piece? Is that it? You want me to ignore the fact that you’re engaged to my sister and continue to welcome you in my arms?”
He raked his hands down his face as he began to pace. “You know how forceful Angie can get. Her firm writes the grants for my hospital. She threatened to pull the Pullman grant from us if I didn’t agree to the marriage.”
“The Pullman grant?”
That is a huge grant, one that helped to fund a lot of the bigger hospitals in Michigan. I’d been trying to get Angie to consider the Endurance Clinic for it for the last two years. Of course, she only laughs and tells me not to get ahead of myself, while keeping me on the hook with the smaller grants she does get for us.
He nodded before gesturing toward the clinic behind me. “Just like she’s been threatening the grants that are keeping this place going. She has it in for you, Free. She wants to take away anything that makes you happy. You can’t let her do this to us, baby!”
I put my hand to my chest. “I can’t let her do this?! You were the one who agreed to that marriage.”
“What choice did I have?!” he cried holding his hands out to the side of him. “My ass is toast if word got out that the hospital lost the Pullman grant because of me. No hospital in the state will hire me on after that. I would be totally blackballed.”
I too began to pace. Dammit! What did I ever do to Angie? Dillion was right, she hated me, and I didn’t know why. Ever since I first stepped foot in her house, she’s gone out of her way to belittle me, embarrass me, and make sure I always knew my place. And now, she’d sunk her evil fangs into Dillion.
I wanted to oust her, to report her the Federal Trade Commission, but who knew how far Angie’s reach went. My guess is it was pretty far, which is why she was still able to go on her reign of terror without anybody putting a s
top to it. As far as I knew, it was only one other family in these parts more powerful than hers and it was the Pelletiers. And, well, you can see who their protégé is…Mean Tucker.
“What are we going to do?” Dillion asked, causing my steps to come to a halt.
I looked up at him and for the second time in a matter of days, his weakness disgusted me. I could never imagine Mean Tucker saying something like this. That thought had me putting my hand on my head. Dammit! There I go comparing another man to Naphtali.
Goodness…
It was just too much for one night. My mind and body were exhausted and I just couldn’t think clearly right now. I held my hand up, stopping him from saying whatever it was he was opening his mouth to say.
“Just give me some time to think. I’m too tired right now… I’ll figure something out when I get a little rest.”
My answer must have been a satisfactory one because he nodded and moved from in front of my door. I didn’t hesitate to open it and get in.
“When will I hear from you again?” he asked, holding the door open, preventing it from closing. Wanting to be away from him, I opened my mouth and lied.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
He smiled and leaned in the car to kiss me. My whole system rebelled at such an act and I nearly fell into the back seat backing away from him.
“What are you doing?!” I cried.
“Giving you a kiss goodnight, what does it look like?”
I frantically shook my head. “We’re not there yet!”
Oh, y’all! He was really freaking me out! I just wanted to get away from him. He didn’t move back right away. Still leaning all the way in my car, he stared at me for a moment.
“Don’t let her split us up, Free. We’re destined to be together.”
I felt sick to my stomach. Had he always been this weak? Why hadn't I noticed it before now? Just wanting to get this over with, I nodded.