“Hi, Lucy,” he said, ambling in her direction. “How are you today?”
“I’m fine, denki. I’m here to purchase a case or a toolbox. For wood-carving tools. Chisels. Knives. That kind of thing.” Lucy was so nervous she could hardly communicate, but Nick didn’t seem to notice.
“So you’ve taken up wood carving in addition to embroidery?” he joked.
“Neh, it’s not for me. It’s a present for my daed for Grischtdaag. But if you see him, don’t tell him,” she replied solemnly.
“I can keep a secret,” Nick promised, winking at her. Her knees went weak then, and again when he touched the small of her back and ushered her down an aisle. “We keep our toolboxes over here. What kind are you looking for?”
“The best kind,” she said, flustered by his nearness.
Nick threw his head back and laughed. “Well, that’s gut because we don’t stock the worst kind.” His laughter put Lucy at ease and she chuckled, too. Then he questioned whether she wanted a wood or plastic toolbox.
“I guess I don’t know what I’m looking for.”
As Nick began to show Lucy the different types of boxes, she had a difficult time focusing on his descriptions. She felt heady from watching his hands pulling open the little drawers, from his masculine, musky scent, and from the clean, smooth skin of his jaw. She had to tell him about the skating at Wheeler’s Pond now, before she lost her nerve.
“So, what do you think?” He paused, waiting for her response.
“I’ll take whatever you recommend,” she said. “I trust your advice.”
Nick smiled and removed the wooden box from the shelf. “Then you’ll definitely want this one. It’s a little more expensive, but the feature that allows you to tilt the knife compartment for easier access is worth it,” he said, and began to walk down the aisle, but Lucy grabbed him by the crook of his arm.
“I told Melinda we’d go skating at Wheeler’s Pond tomorrow night.” Her words were both quiet and rushed.
“You what?” Nick asked, leaning closer. He smelled so good. Too good. She released his arm.
“I told Melinda we’d go skating at Wheeler’s Pond on Saturday,” Lucy repeated. “I’m sorry. She was badgering me and I just—well, I don’t know what came over me. We can make up an excuse not to go, but I had to tell you now so we can get our story straight in case she pops in here and interrogates you about it.”
She held her breath, waiting for his response.
* * *
Nick couldn’t take his eyes off Lucy. The color rising to her cheeks reminded him of how she had looked on Wednesday night after her madcap performance in his buggy. He wanted to say he’d love to go skating with her, but he wasn’t sure she actually wanted to go to the pond herself. She was only telling him so they could come up with an excuse not to go, right? Nick didn’t feel confident enough to ask her outright.
“I suppose after I’m done working on the cabin and if you’re satisfied with your progress embroidering, we could stop by the pond,” he suggested. “For the sake of appearances, that is.”
Lucy let her breath out. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Neh, not at all. I enjoy skating. Haven’t done it in years but I wouldn’t mind taking a spin around the rink.”
“Oh, Nick, that’s wunderbaar,” Lucy whispered. “For appearances, I mean.”
Nick felt deflated. He shifted the large toolbox in his arms and asked, “So do you really need one of these, or was that just a pretense to kumme talk to me in private?”
“I really need one,” she said in a normal voice again.
He led her back to the cash register, where Kevin had taken over ringing up the sales. “Lucy gets the carpenter’s discount,” Nick told his brother.
“Oh, she’s building a haus, is she?” Kevin asked her.
Nick glared at his brother. Before turning his attention to another customer, Nick said, “If it’s okay with you, I’ll pick you up half an hour earlier tonight, Lucy. Kevin likes to assist the customers without my help. It makes him feel like he’s in charge.”
Kevin opened his mouth, and then closed it and grunted.
“I’ll look forward to that, Nick,” Lucy said sweetly. If she was surprised Nick was being so obvious about their supposed courtship in front of Kevin, she didn’t let on.
The rest of the morning flew by, and soon Nick’s mother stopped in with lunch for the four of them to eat in the back room. Nick noticed his father picking at his food; ordinarily, he had a hearty appetite. “We’ve got things covered at the shop today, Daed,” he said. “You could go home with Mamm after lunch if you want.”
Kevin still must have been peeved about Nick’s earlier remark because he said, “Jah, Nick is so confident in my abilities, he’s leaving half an hour early to take Lucy out tonight.”
If Kevin was hoping to get Nick in hot water, his plan backfired. “I’m confident in your abilities to handle the store alone, too, Kevin, so I think I will go home after lunch,” their father said. Then he turned to Nick. “Lucy’s a wunderbaar maedel. You can leave even earlier if you’d like to.”
“Denki, but that’s not necessary,” Nick said. Then, taking advantage of the opportunity, he added, “But I would like to get out of work a little earlier tomorrow afternoon so I can spend more time with her. She, uh, has some special things I’m helping her accomplish before Grischtdaag, and then in the evening we’re going skating on Wheeler’s Pond.”
“Is Lucy up for that?” his mother asked. “She’s in such frail health.”
The potato he’d been chewing felt like it was lodged in Nick’s throat. He coughed and thumped his fist against his chest. “What do you mean, she’s in frail health?”
His mother swallowed before she answered. “Lucy’s prone to pneumonia. Last year she had such a bad case of it she wound up hospitalized for nearly a week. It’s a result of being born so early and having all those respiratory problems. You’d better be sure she stays bundled up, suh. Skating might be fine for half an hour or so, but don’t overdo it.”
Nick shook his head in disbelief. He never knew Lucy suffered from any kind of illness. After watching her stunt in the buggy on Wednesday night, he thought she was one of the toughest girls he’d ever courted. Why had she agreed to go skating if she was prone to pneumonia? “I didn’t know she was in poor health. She never told me,” he admitted.
“Ach!” his mother patted her lips with a napkin. “Listen to me. What a tale-teller I am. She probably didn’t mention it because it’s been such a struggle for her, but her daed says she prefers to keep it to herself and to act as if she’s fine. He worries about her, though. So don’t you give him extra cause for concern.”
“I won’t, Mamm,” Nick promised.
For the rest of the afternoon he experienced a growing mix of concern and anger. He didn’t want Lucy to get sick, yet he resented it that she’d put him in a position of jeopardizing her health. That wasn’t fair. There was no way he was going skating with her now, no matter what Melinda deduced from their absence.
Later, when Lucy climbed into the buggy Nick placed a fourth blanket on her lap before signaling Penny to walk on.
“What’s this for?” she asked. “I can barely move.”
“You didn’t tell me you were sick,” he said accusingly. “That wasn’t fair.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not sick.”
He pulled the buggy off the road. “You’re prone to pneumonia,” he accused.
Lucy stiffened. “I see some bobblemoul has been filling your ears with gossip.”
Bristling to hear Lucy unwittingly refer to his mother as a blabbermouth, Nick replied, “It’s not gossip if it’s true.”
“Neh, it’s not slander if it’s true, but it’s still gossip,” Lucy argued. “Either way, I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”
“None of my business? I wouldn’t have taken you out in this frigid weather if I had known about your health condition. You should have told me rather than to put me in this position.”
Lucy slapped her hands against her lap. “I’m an adult. I don’t need to get permission from you to go outside during the winter.”
“Maybe not, but did you ever think what would have happened if you’d gotten pneumonia?”
“Jah, I would have suffered from it. Me. Not you. I would’ve been the one in the hospital.”
Nick raised his voice. “Don’t act like that, Lucy. Don’t deny it wouldn’t have had an effect on me, too. I would have known I was responsible.”
“What are you talking about? You’re not responsible for me. I’m responsible for me. And so is the Lord. I don’t understand why you’re being like this all of a sudden. If you want to put an end to our arrangement for some other reason, just tell me. You don’t need to create some pitiful excuse.”
Nick was so frustrated he took off his hat and smacked it against his fist. “I’m not creating an excuse. Your health is a perfectly valid reason to call off our deal. I don’t see why you can’t understand that.”
“Okay,” Lucy said, moving toward the edge of the seat. “Deal’s off.” She jumped down before Nick could stop her and began walking in the direction of her house.
“Lucy! Kumme back here,” he called. “You’re being lecherich!”
Lucy turned and shouted, “I’m not your responsibility anymore, Nick. Not that I ever was. So leave me alone.”
If Nick wasn’t mistaken, she was crying. In all of the times he’d broken off a relationship, he had never felt as miserable as he did now when making Lucy Knepp cry. And his courtship with her wasn’t even real. He couldn’t let it end like this. Within a few paces, he’d caught up to her and a few paces after that, he’d gained enough ground to turn around and face her as she approached, holding his arms out to prevent her passage.
* * *
“Knock it off, Nick,” Lucy shouted, tears streaming down her face. “I want to get by.”
“And I want to take you home. Kumme on, Lucy. Be reasonable.”
Even in her outrage, Lucy could see the sense in what he was saying. For one thing, it was bitterly cold. For another, if her father found out she’d walked home in that kind of weather, he’d be furious—not at Lucy, but at Nick. That wouldn’t be fair.
“Fine.” She turned and headed back toward the buggy. When he offered his hand, she pushed it away.
Nick took his seat next to her and picked up the reins, but before moving onward, he said, “I don’t understand it, Lucy. Why is my caring about you such an awful thing?” His voice was quivering and Lucy felt a pang of guilt. She knew she was overreacting. Rather, she was reacting to a heartache that had plagued her for years, not one Nick had caused that evening.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” she said, wiping her rough woolen mitten across her cheeks.
“But I want to. Can’t you explain it to me?”
Nick’s voice was so forlorn Lucy let her defenses drop. “I’ve always been treated like this, my entire life. Lucy’s too weak, too fragile, too small, she can’t go outside or run around or have any fun because she’ll get sick. She’ll stop breathing. She’ll wind up in the hospital. My whole life, Nick. And then, the one little taste of utter abandon I ever experienced—charging through the dark with a frosty wind whisking against my face, feeling totally invigorated and alive—you want to take that away from me, too.”
She was crying so hard her words were barely intelligible, but Nick didn’t interrupt or attempt to quiet her. When she finally settled down and could speak normally again, she sniffed and asked, “May I use your handkerchief, please?”
“Sorry, I don’t have one,” Nick said. “But here, you can use my scarf. I don’t mind.”
The offer to use Nick’s scarf to dry her eyes and blow her nose was so ridiculous and sweet all at once it caused Lucy to chuckle. “Neh, that’s okay,” she said, removing her mittens to dab her eyes with her bare fingers.
“I really am sorry,” he repeated.
Lucy was embarrassed. “That’s all right. I’ve stopped blubbering. I don’t need a handkerchief after all.”
“Neh, I mean I’m sorry I treated you in a way that made you feel...the way you feel. I didn’t mean to. I was concerned. I care about you and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. I especially wouldn’t want to play a role in hurting you.”
Lucy was overwhelmed by his words. No man had ever said anything like that to her before, even in friendship. “It’s not your fault,” she said. “And I do appreciate that you care. But I’m not as fragile as you think I am.”
“Fragile? You? I don’t think you’re fragile at all, even if you are prone to pneumonia,” Nick scoffed. “I think you’re one of the most resilient women I’ve ever known.”
Lucy was overwhelmed again. If this kept up, she was going to fall hard for Nick Burkholder. Maybe she already had. “Then let’s continue our arrangement. We both have work left to do.”
“Okay, but you have to promise me something,” Nick said, peering at her. In the dark she could only make out the whites of his eyes but his voice was heavy. “Promise you’ll tell me if all this running around gets to be too much for you. And if you even think there’s a chance you’re catching a cold, you have to—”
“I’ll tell you,” Lucy promised somberly. Then, in a lighter tone she said, “So in that vein, I’m getting cold now. Can we keep going, please?”
Nick released the buggy’s parking brake and clicked for Penny to move on. They’d traveled a few hundred yards when he shook his head. It seemed he was thinking aloud as he said, “So when we were kinner in school...all those times you stayed inside and cleaned the whiteboards... That was because you weren’t allowed to go outside?”
“That’s right,” Lucy said with a sigh. “I used to watch the rest of you from the window and daydream about what it would be like to be out there running around or playing hide-and-seek.”
“No wonder you were always tattling on us. You must have been pretty envious.”
Lucy was indignant. “I never tattled on anyone!” she said. “Not once, ever. Especially not on you. I loved watching your antics even if—sometimes especially if—you misbehaved. If I’d told on you, the teacher would have made you quit climbing trees or hiding lunch boxes or whatever other mischief you were causing. I would have been bored out of my skull just watching the girls playing jacks.”
“Really?” Nick asked, and Lucy vehemently assured him she was telling the truth.
“I didn’t even tell when you nicknamed me Bug Eyes.”
“Did I do that?” Nick asked. “I honestly don’t remember.”
“Well, I sure do.”
“Wow, I’m sorry. No wonder my nickname was Naughty Nick.”
Lucy giggled. “I’d rather be known as Naughty Nick than Lovely Lucy. That was a hard title to live up to. But it was better than Bug Eyes.” She affectionately nudged Nick’s arm with hers.
He shook his head again. “Like I said, I honestly don’t remember doing that. But in my defense, I really did love insects. So Bug Eyes might have been a compliment.”
“Jah, nice try!” Lucy laughed. “It doesn’t matter. I forgave you long ago. I wasn’t really so lovely myself, and I had a lot of things I needed to be forgiven for, too. I still do.”
Nick turned slightly in his seat. “For what it’s worth, I’d never call you Bug Eyes now. Your eyes are beautiful, like a doe’s,” he said. Then he worried aloud, “That isn’t an offensive wildlife association is it?”
“Not at all,” Lucy murmured. It was lovely. Who would have thought it would take Naughty Nick to help her feel as if she truly was Lovely Lucy?
* * *
The fumes from the wood s
tain must have been getting to Nick, because early Saturday evening he felt woozy. He only had about thirty minutes before he was supposed to leave Jenny’s cabin and pick Lucy up. He wished he could call it quits early, but there was too much to be done and time was closing in.
When he finally reached the café, he spied Lucy waiting outside the entrance. While he appreciated she was standing there so he’d know he didn’t need to hitch the horse across the lot and come inside to get her, he had lingering concerns about her being outside in such unseasonably cold weather.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asked shortly before they reached the road leading to the pond.
“Jah. I love to skate.”
“Neh, I mean, to, you know, pretend.” Nick didn’t want to say the words aloud again. He and Lucy had vaguely agreed they’d put on enough of a show to convince any naysayers they were courting, but they wouldn’t be so obvious it would appear they were flaunting their courtship—which in their community would have been a dead giveaway they weren’t really a couple. But Nick hadn’t discussed the specifics with Lucy because she said if they orchestrated their behavior too much, they wouldn’t come across as natural. With any other woman, Nick would have executed his role with ease, but with Lucy, he wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Or what she expected of him.
Arriving at the rink together might have been a convincing indication they were courting were it not for the fact the Amish were scattered throughout Willow Creek’s countryside, so many of the youth traveled together.
Eve spotted them right away. “Hi, Lucy. Hi, Nick,” she greeted them, causing Melinda to glance up from where she wobbled across the ice, her ankles bending inward.
Her Amish Holiday Suitor (Amish Country Courtships Book 5) Page 9