by Jaci Burton
And when she did, crying out his name with her climax, it was the sweetest reward. He licked her everywhere as she shuddered against his mouth with her release. He stayed with her until her trembles subsided.
Then he climbed up her body and took her mouth in a deep kiss meant to convey passion and need and everything he’d bottled up inside during the game today. While he’d shoved his feelings for Stella into the deep, dark recesses of his mind during the game, now they were fully present, and he intended to let her know exactly what he felt. Everything he felt whenever he was with her.
He wasn’t going to hold anything back. He never had with her, and that had been the telling difference between her and every other woman he’d ever been with. He fished a condom out of his pocket and pulled away only long enough to undress, then helped Stella with her top and bra.
When she wrapped her fingers oh so delicately around his cock, he stood and watched her stroke him, steeling his resolve to climb on top of her and sink inside her until he was lost, until he couldn’t think anymore. Because watching her small hand around his length, the way she looked at him when she held him in her hands, was a connection he never intended to lose.
And when she let go only long enough to slide off the sofa and get on her knees, giving him a wicked grin over her shoulder, he knew this was the woman for him. She always seemed to know what he wanted, and right now he needed deep, plunging passion, a hard connection with Stella, the kind that would cement her to him.
Maybe they hadn’t shared the words yet, but he was in love with her, and he intended to tell her as soon as possible.
Now he’d show her.
He put on the condom and positioned himself behind her, sliding into her slow and easy, feeling every incredible inch until he was embedded deep. Her body surrounded him, squeezing him tight until there was nothing between them.
Then he began to move, easing out slowly, then thrusting deep again.
He didn’t say anything, and neither did Stella. He focused on the way her breath caught whenever he plunged deep, and cupped her breasts so he could play with her nipples, feeling them harden under his fingertips. It was just the two of them in tune with each other’s bodies, and the emotion swirling through him at the thought of this woman being part of his life.
He tried to push it aside, but Stella meant something to him, and he’d never made love to a woman that was part of his heart before.
He pulled out and drew her to the rug, then reentered her, this time making eye contact with her. She wrapped her legs tightly around him and as he cupped her butt and ground against her, her eyes widened. She reached up and skimmed her fingertips across his jaw.
“What are you doing to me?”
He wanted to say the words, but he was caught up in the emotion, didn’t want to spoil the moment by saying something she might not be ready for yet, so he lifted her arm above her head and caught her hand in his, then drove into her, giving her what she needed—what they both needed.
Her breathing quickened, her sex gripping his cock in a stranglehold of spasms.
“Trick, I’m coming.”
He bent and kissed her, absorbing her cries as she came. He let go, his orgasm like a lightning bolt of pure adrenaline as it burst from his body, pulse after pulse of pleasure that shattered him until he felt like he couldn’t take his next breath.
He finally rolled over onto his back, not sure whose breathing was more ragged—his or Stella’s.
“I think you might be trying to kill me,” she finally said.
He turned his head to see her staring up at the ceiling.
“You okay?”
She looked over at him and grinned. “Definitely okay. But thirsty.”
They cleaned up, then Trick fixed them tall glasses of ice water. Instead of getting dressed, Stella rummaged through his closet, found an old long-sleeved flannel shirt of his, and rolled up the sleeves.
He looked at her as she leaned against his kitchen counter. His shirt hung low on her thighs, showing off her long legs.
“I like you wearing my shirts. I was thinking about buying you some pajamas—the girl kind—to wear here, since we often end up naked, but I think I like this better.”
She took a sip of water, then set the glass on the counter and came over to him, lifting up to press a kiss to the column of his throat. “Me, too. Your clothes smell like you.”
A rush of possessiveness came over him, and he curled his arm around her waist and tugged her close for a long, deep kiss. When they came up for air, her cheeks were pink.
“Well, that was nice. Ready for round two, then?” she asked.
“Definitely, but first I think we need to talk.”
She gave him a wary look. “Uh-oh. Does this mean we’re breaking up? Though I suppose to break up we’d have to be a couple, and we’re not really that, are we?”
“Aren’t we? We’ve seen each other off and on for a year now, Stella. When I’m with you I don’t see anyone else. And frankly . . . I don’t want to see anyone else. So maybe it’s time we call this what it is—a relationship.”
Stella swallowed, hard. She’d meant to broach the subject with Trick tonight, but then she’d chickened out and they’d had sex instead.
Really great, phenomenal sex that had been emotional as well as physical. There had been something in Trick’s eyes when he’d had her on the floor, looking at her as he’d moved inside her, something that had tugged at her heart and hit all her hot buttons. She’d tried to dismiss it as just their awesome physical connection, but she’d known deep down it had been more than that.
And now . . .
“You want a relationship.”
“Yes. I’m in love with you.”
Oh, shit. This she hadn’t expected. “You are?”
His lips curved, and she lost herself in that sexy smile of his, the one that always mesmerized her and made her want to throw herself on top of him so he could have his way with her.
“Yeah. And I’ve never said that to any other woman before you, other than my mom and my sister. And that doesn’t really count, does it?”
She laughed. “I guess not. Except to your mother and sister, of course.”
Now was the time for her to confess her feelings. She opened her mouth to say the words, but hesitated.
“Trick, I . . .”
Come on, Stella. Man up and do this. You can trust him.
He rubbed her arm. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”
“I love you.” She’d blurted it, and made it sound rushed and empty. She was an awful person.
He laughed. “I said you didn’t have to say it back.”
She stepped into him and wrapped her arms around him, tilting her head back so he could see the truth in her eyes. “I love you. I really do. I’m just new at this. And a little bit afraid.”
“You want to tell me why you’re afraid?”
She did want to tell him, but not right now. “Let’s just say love didn’t work so well for me the first time I tried it.”
“You want to tell me about it?”
She did. But for some reason, the words didn’t come. “At some point, I will. But not now. That’s the past, and it’s unpleasant. Right now, I’m happy, so let’s not go there.”
“Fair enough. I’m going to want to hear that story sometime. But I can guarantee you I’m not going to hurt you. You’re my future, Stella.”
Her heart swelled with so much love and hope she didn’t know what to do with all these feelings. For someone so used to cynicism about love, she wanted to burst with all the emotion welling up inside her.
“I’m going to warn you now that I’m not going to be good at this. But I’m willing to give it my best shot. Because I do love you, Trick.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “We’re both new at t
his. It’ll take some time to adjust to it. And I don’t want to rush you. We’ll take it slow.”
“Okay.”
“It’s enough to know you don’t have one foot out the door and you might be comfortable seeing me on a regular basis. The rest we’ll handle one day at a time.”
That she could live with. But she owed him an explanation for her skittishness about relationships and her trust issues. But tonight wasn’t the best night for that. They’d had amazing sex and had declared their love. She could save the big talk for later, right?
Especially since he’d scooped her up into his arms and carried her down the hall toward his bedroom.
“Now, about round two . . .”
She laughed and shoved her nose in his neck, happy to breathe him in.
She was in a relationship. And in love.
She never thought she’d say those two words again. Or believe in them.
But this was Trick, and a whole new beginning.
TWELVE
She had stayed the night, and since she actually had a day off from rehearsal, and Trick didn’t have a game, they were going to spend the day together.
Trick was in the shower, and then they were going to go to her place so she could shower and change clothes.
They hadn’t talked much last night, but as she got dressed and sipped coffee, she allowed herself to think about planning for the future.
People in love tended to eventually cohabitate. As she stared at the happy Christmas tree in his living room, she pondered the thought of moving in here.
Would he want that? Was that the next step?
She sat on the chair and wondered what it would be like to live with Trick. He traveled a lot during his season. And she worked a lot, especially when she was in performances. If they wanted to see each other at all, it would make sense to live together.
She drew her legs up on the chair, already envisioning a few of her things here. Gifts for each other under the Christmas tree. A few of her favorite knickknacks strewn around.
Not having to freeze to death in her apartment in the winter—a definite bonus.
Sleeping next to Trick at night—she found no flaws in that thought.
Maybe she’d bring it up and test the waters.
She went into the bathroom to grab her socks, and Trick’s phone rang.
“Hey, can you get that?” he asked from the shower. “I’m expecting a call from my agent this morning.”
“Sure.” She pressed the button on his phone. “Hello?”
“Hello. I was calling for Trick.”
“This is Trick’s phone. This is Stella, his . . .” She fumbled for the word “girlfriend,” in the end deciding on, “friend. He’s in the shower and wanted me to answer for him. He said he was expecting your call.”
“Oh, okay. This is Dave Mincus, his agent. Can you let him know I’m messengering over the paperwork for him to look at?”
“Sure.”
“Great. Tell him this trade deal with Detroit is time sensitive, so I need to hear back from him right away.”
Trade deal with Detroit? What trade deal with Detroit? Her heart sank. “Okay. Sure.”
“Great, thanks.”
They hung up and Stella sat on the edge of the bed.
He was working out a trade with Detroit? He’d just told her he loved her, and he wasn’t going to tell her he was being traded to Detroit?
Feeling dizzy and just a little sick to her stomach, she gripped the edge of the mattress for support.
It was Vernon all over again. Telling her he loved her, then expecting her to drop everything and move with him, because his career was more important.
The same fear and devastation washed over her, but this time it was so much worse.
She loved him, loved him more than she’d ever loved another man. She’d fought it for so long, but she’d had such joy when she’d given in. She’d fallen heart first into this with Trick, given him her trust, and now he’d pulled the rug right out from under her.
How could she have been so stupid?
Tears pricked her eyes, one falling down her cheek. She brushed it away.
No. No.
She wasn’t going to do this again, wasn’t going to go through a “If you love me you’ll go with me and give up everything that means the world to you” conversation.
It wasn’t going to happen. This time, she was going to be the one to walk away first. She was stronger than the last time. She wasn’t going to beg and plead for a man’s love, for him to see reason.
She had a wonderful career, and stood on the precipice of something magical right now. This was where she belonged. And if he couldn’t see that, if he didn’t love her enough to see that her career mattered, too, then too bad for him.
She finished getting dressed, and paced the living room, letting anger take over the hurt. She had downed the last of her coffee by the time Trick came out of the bedroom.
“Coffee smells good,” he said, and came over to press a kiss to the back of her neck while she was standing over the sink rinsing her cup.
She quickly pulled away, leaning down to put her coffee cup in the dishwasher. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee.”
“I can do that.”
She moved some distance from him while he brewed his cup, her arms wrapped around herself as she watched him. His hair was still damp from his shower, the ends curling around his neck, making her want to touch him, to breathe in his scent.
No matter how angry she was with him, she still loved him. And that hurt most of all.
“So, I was thinking,” he said as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “We should talk about you moving in here.”
He had a sexy half-smile on his face that destroyed her.
“You know, since your apartment is so cold in the winter, and my place is actually convenient to you getting to work and all. What do you think?”
Last night and earlier this morning she would have thought it was a great idea. Now it just dug the knife in deeper.
“I’ve been thinking, too.”
His smile broadened. “Have you?”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking that we rushed into this whole love-and-togetherness thing. Or at least I did. I’m not ready for it. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for it.”
His smile died. “What? What’s wrong?” He set his cup down and started toward her. She put her hand out to stop him.
“I don’t want this, Trick. You and I were fun, but I think it’s time we end it.”
“What are you talking about? Last night you loved me, and now it’s over? Come on, babe. Talk to me.”
She gave him a careless shrug, needing to hurt him like he’d hurt her. “It’s just me. I tried, but I’m not a relationship type of woman. I like my freedom, and after thinking it over, any kind of commitment feels choking to me. Sorry.”
“Sorry? That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say? What the hell, Stella?” He dragged his fingers through his hair and she saw the hurt and confusion on his face as he paced back and forth. It killed her inside, knowing she put it there, but self-preservation was more important. Besides, had he been thinking of her when he’d made plans to move to Detroit? No. So she had to put herself first. She had to get away from him and move on.
“Yeah. That’s all I’m going to say. I know this hurts for both of us, but trust me, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want the same things you do.”
He gave her a look like he didn’t believe her. “Talk to me.”
She shook her head, so afraid she was going to cry she couldn’t say anything.
“I don’t understand all this, Stella. I don’t get this sudden turnaround. Are you sure something didn’t happen to change your mind?”
“No. Nothing happened. I’m just being true to myself
and who I am. And now I need to go before this gets more painful for both of us.”
The hurt on his face was replaced by anger. “This is so much bullshit, Stella. I know it and you know it. You don’t tell me you love me one minute and walk away the next.”
She lifted her chin. “I said I was sorry.”
“And that makes it okay? It doesn’t. We need to talk this out. There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“No, we don’t need to talk, because there’s nothing to say. I have nothing to tell you.” Nothing he could say that could make her stay.
She grabbed her coat and her bag and went to the door. She turned to look at him, memorizing his face, knowing how much she was going to miss him. “Bye, Trick.”
“Shit. I’m not coming after you. If you walk out, we’re done.”
“That’s fine.”
He stood in the living room, just staring at her, so many emotions on his face it took everything in her not to run to him and throw her arms around him.
But that would make her weak, and she wasn’t weak. She had herself to think of, because he sure as hell hadn’t.
She willed the tears back as she opened the door and walked out.
She’d never hurt so much in her life as she took the elevator downstairs and hailed a taxi outside. Fortunately, one came by quickly, because she was afraid Trick would run after her, despite what he’d said.
He hadn’t. Of course he hadn’t, because now he was free to move wherever he wanted to without having to deal with her.
This was better for both of them.
Definitely better for her.
She’d broken her golden rule of never getting involved, and it had cost her.
Because now her heart was broken, so much worse than the first time. The first time she’d been young and naïve. This time she’d gone into it with her eyes wide open—a woman, not a young girl. Trick was a man she could have spent forever with.
She should have known better, and now instead of loving him forever, she was going to hurt forever.