by Kay Mares
Mr. Bennet levels a stare at his wife. “No My Dear, I believe I can safely say Mr. Bingley is fully committed to our Jane, and Mr. Darcy will likely leave the area, never to come back as soon as he is able. Leave on his fastest horse that is, no doubt,” Mr. Bennet chuckles. “Let us be thankful the gentlemen were there to keep our girls from harm. I do feel sorry for Mr. Darcy to have sustained an injury. I am certain even though he may be proud and disagreeable; he also would have the good sense not hold a whole town responsible for the actions of two.” At this, he begins to cut into his meat.
Elizabeth wants to defend Mr. Darcy’s character, but she fears she might not have the restraint necessary to do so. It bothers her that her own family thinks so little of a man to whom they owe so much. She understands they know not what he has done on their behalf but she still wishes they would demonstrate some more compassion for Darcy. However, Mr. Bennet’s comments seem to have eased her mother, and the rest of the meal passes without further incident. It is during this time Elizabeth begins to dwell upon her parent’s marriage and the earlier exchange. When had Mr. Bennet no longer considered his wife’s thoughts or opinions not have any merit? Of course, the majority of Mrs. Bennet’s musings are foolish at best and ridiculous at worst.
Mr. Bennet never seeks out Mrs. Bennet’s opinion ever. Mr. Darcy sought out your opinions. Accomplished women, the natures between friends, pride as compared to vanity. Elizabeth begins to look on these intercourses in a new light. She then recalls another exchange. She had accused Mr. Darcy of the defect of hating everyone. “And yours,” he replied, “is willfully to misunderstand them.” She further remembered his doing so with the same small upturn to the corner of his mouth he displayed today. He is not offended by her but engrossed with her. How come I never saw it before? Yes, much of his discourse had been delivered in a rather haughty manner, but Elizabeth reviews those moments in a different sort of vein. It appears Mr. Darcy will not settle for a certain type of woman. Just as Elizabeth will not settle for only the protection a marriage can offer.
Before Elizabeth retires for the night, she seeks out Jane. “Thank you for redirecting Mama. I know she worries so about our futures especially with the estate being entailed away from us. I just could not think upon such ridiculousness when a man lies injured and no one sees fit to ask after him. It is unseemly,” Elizabeth sinks to Jane’s bed. “I suppose I should not have spoken as harshly as I did to Mama. I must tell you, Jane, there is more to my outburst than just the unfairness of Mama’s comments. You already alluded to my sentiments earlier when we were in Mr. Bingley’s sitting room.” Jane gives Elizabeth her attention and with a slight nod encourages her to go on. “I am not fooling you when I say I admire Mr. Darcy because of the care he shows his sister, his estate, and his tenants as if those are the only merits he has. You know, also, I have tried to not view his return here as anything special regarding me…yet I hope he is here because of me. I am eager to know if his response to Lydia’s affair was out of concern for me and as selfish as it may sound, his last statement as to protecting those he cares about…well…I want to believe he means that for me. Jane,” at this time Lizzy fixes her eyes on Jane’s face, “I love him. It is my fondest wish he still loves me as he professed to me at Hunsford. It is why I cannot bear the thought of him suffering so and why I cannot allow others to abuse his good name. But I cannot tell anyone else of my affection for him until I know he still has feelings for me.”
“Oh Lizzy, how hard it must be for you. What you must endure but just like Mr. Bingley came back to me so will Mr. Darcy come back to you. It must be so; you must trust it will be so. I wondered about your affection for him especially after you called his name. Even though emotions were high at the time, I knew you still would not have done so unless you felt something for the man,” Jane reaches over and hugs her sister. “It will work out in time.”
“Oh Jane, what frightens me so is while you are correct that Mr. Bingley came back for you because of his affection for you, I have not the same knowledge of Mr. Darcy’s regard. Even if I did, he has been hurt, and too much can go wrong. I do not want to lose him. I need to tell him of my feelings for him. He cannot leave this world before I have the chance to tell him what he means to me,” Lizzy conveys these fears to Jane to come to grips with them. Jane reminds Lizzy of the surgeon’s excellent care of the gentleman and Mr. Darcy’s jesting with Lizzy. The surgeon is a valued and skilled member of the community whose reputation is stellar. Add to that Mr. Darcy’s light-hearted attempts to calm Lizzy during the resulting melee and Lizzy begins to see Jane’s words hold merit. Lizzy even laughs as she recalls with Jane, Mr. Darcy’s earlier missteps contrasted with his self-mocking comments today.
By the end of their discourse, Lizzy feels much relief. Surely a man who could keep his wits about him after being shot would not succumb easily to any injury. Elizabeth goes to her bed where sleep quickly claims her however her sleep will be disturbed by images of Darcy’s pleading pain filled eyes as he assured himself of her wellbeing. Even more upsetting is when those images of Darcy’s face begin to be replaced by the same mien he displayed immediately after giving Elizabeth the letter he wrote for her at Rosings.
Chapter 5
The next day passes without a letter or visit from Mr. Bingley. Mrs. Bennet interprets the lack of communication as a bad omen for the union between Jane and Bingley. She is certain it is only matter of time before Bingley will seek an audience with Jane to break the engagement or worse, Mrs. Bennet frets, Bingley will seek to end the connection with no more than a message. She gives herself over to all sorts of imaginings as to Mr. Bingley’s absence from Longbourn. Jane and Lizzy believe his absence is more than likely due to his overseeing of Mr. Darcy’s comfort and wellbeing as he continues to mend, so they pay no mind to the ramblings of their nervous mother.
When the second day passes with still no word from Netherfield, Mrs. Bennet begins to bemoan the loss of Mr. Bingley’s affections for Jane with an almost crippling case of nerves. She takes to her bed and insists on being attended to by Hill as well as Mary and Kitty, who read to her or sit at her bedside while she laments the great loss to her family. Elizabeth is beginning to feel a great deal of disquiet herself. She knows Mr. Bingley will not abandon Jane, but she also knows he would not stay away from Longbourn unless something of import keeps him away. This nagging suspicion, as well as the upsetting dreams, gnaw at Lizzy, and she seeks Jane’s company to help calm her. Jane feels as well that Mr. Bingley must be dealing with some consequence, but she refuses to believe it is anything negative related to Mr. Darcy’s health. Jane maintains this belief not only because she possesses a sunny outlook but also because she knows Lizzy needs her to be positive.
On the third day after the accident, Mrs. Bennet will know some relief, but Elizabeth’s trial is just to begin. Mr. Bingley rode up early in the morning followed by his carriage. His face is grim, and he repeatedly runs his fingers through his hair. Jane hurries to greet him and notes that his usual easy personality is replaced by a more somber mood. Elizabeth is close on her sister’s heels as Jane greets Mr. Bingley.
“Forgive me for not coming before today nor sending a message. I have been most concerned with Mr. Darcy’s recovery, and it is because of the state he is in that I have come so early.” Bingley states in a grave monotone.
“What is amiss?! Please tell me at once!” Elizabeth cries. She impatiently waits as Bingley composes himself. With a deep sigh and eyes adverted Bingley begins.
“Darcy has the fever, he is most uncomfortable, and the surgeon has been here for the last two days. He has cleaned the wound repeatedly, and while thankfully there are no signs of obvious infection, Darcy has a fever just the same. It came on him the morning following the accident, and despite the treatments, it has shown no sign of abating. He is at times delirious,” and here Mr. Bingley looks at Elizabeth, “and he calls your name, Miss Elizabeth. Please forgive me for seeming too forward but I thought perhaps
after my explanation, you and Jane would consider returning with me. Miss Elizabeth’s presence may give my friend some relief. I understand this is untoward, but I know not what to do,” Bingley finishes as he finally meets the sisters’ eyes.
Elizabeth assures him they will indeed go to Netherfield as soon as they obtain Mrs. Bennet’s agreement. As expected Mrs. Bennet quickly gives her blessing for both girls to go, convinced Mr. Bingley only wants to secure some time with Jane. Elizabeth thinks it best not to delve too deeply into what intelligence they have gained regarding Mr. Darcy.
The sisters gather the necessary clothing and toiletries and are soon riding in Bingley’s carriage. During the ride, Elizabeth gives over to her fears of losing Mr. Darcy, and despite Jane’s words of comfort and her calming presence, Elizabeth cannot overcome the feeling of dread for what she will find. Upon exiting the carriage, Bingley tells them he sent an express to Colonel Fitzwilliam informing him of Darcy’s condition, and he expects a visit from the Colonel soon. The sisters’ belongings are secured into their rooms, and both sisters take a moment to freshen up. Mr. Bingley comes to escort them to where Mr. Darcy is trying to recover. As they approach the room, Elizabeth prepares herself for the next few hours. Talking about her feelings to Jane helped to calm her, but she cannot shake her trepidation.
Bingley opens the door and peers in first then bids the sisters to follow. Elizabeth enters before Jane and sweeps her gaze about the room. The furnishings are grand but not garish. She notes some personal effects on the bedside table including a book with the page marked, an empty water glass, some medical concoctions, and his cravat but most surprisingly, glasses, bifocals no less. His valet Barnabas is attending him. Barnabas looks up at Bingley’s introduction of the ladies and addresses Elizabeth directly when he is informed of the reason for their presence. “If you can give the Master some comfort, Miss Elizabeth, I welcome you most fervently. He knows no peace with the fever, has not rested and we are at an end as to what to do for him. I am at your disposal. Thank you.” With a bow to all in the room, he excuses himself to retrieve cooler wet cloths, but not before Elizabeth hears his earnest supplication, “Please Lord, he’s a good man.”
“I will sit with him if it is acceptable. I’m not sure what good I can do, but I will endeavor to ascertain what the proper course is and offer what comfort I can.” Bingley nods and states he will send a maid. Elizabeth thanks him for his thoughtfulness and turns to Jane, “I believe I will be fine, please worry not for me. Go with Mr. Bingley, perhaps he will acquaint you with more of the household, and you’ve had scant time for yourselves. If I need you, I will call for you.” With this Jane nods her acceptance and with a tiny but hopeful smile she kisses Elizabeth’s brow and quits the room. Elizabeth scans the room again, and she pulls up a chair to Mr. Darcy’s bedside. As she is positioning herself, the aforementioned maid asks for admittance and settles herself in another corner of the room. Elizabeth’s eyes slide slowly over the restless form in the bed. Mr. Darcy does not seem to be in pain but rather plagued by fever and the chimerical images it creates for him.
Elizabeth soon understands what Bingley is referring to as it is not long before some of Mr. Darcy’s murmurings reach her ears. She easily makes out her name numerous times as well as that of Georgiana’s and the Colonel. She is pained to hear that some of her own hurtful words seem to be torturing him. Last man on earth... your conceit...your selfish disdain… your defect to hate. It seems as if her reproofs have embedded themselves upon his soul. In fairness, she thought he had attended them by his altered manner at Pemberley. She feels now in knowing more of his nature that she had been unfair and too harsh in her judgment of him but at the time she keenly felt Jane’s anguish over losing Mr. Bingley and lashed out at the one person she felt responsible. As he calls out her name again, she finds he is saying “Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth leans over to where he can hear her and begins to tell him she is here, not to fret so and to try to rest. He seems to still a little as Elizabeth repeats she is here with him. She takes one of the cloths to mop his brow. Beads of sweat appear there and on his upper lip which Elizabeth tenderly wipes away as she continues to reassure him of her presence. It is during this time the Colonel is ushered in. He greets Elizabeth warmly and hastens to Darcy’s side. He reaches out a hand and places it on Darcy’s brow. “Damn!” he swears. “How long has my cousin suffered?” Elizabeth updates him. “The rogues who did this, have they been dealt with?” Again Elizabeth informs him of the events of that day and the arresting of the two responsible. The Colonel looks thoughtfully at Elizabeth. “Bingley tells me he asked you here because Fitz calls out for you. Bingley hopes your presence may lead to his recovery? I think he is right, Fitz will benefit from you being here. I am grateful you have come,” the Colonel then pulls up another chair so he can speak to Elizabeth.
“That Fitz calls for you in his delirium, I’m not surprised,” the Colonel shakes his head. “He is partial to you, Miss Elizabeth, you must know? Forgive me if I seem too forward, but life on the battlefield makes one dispense with all the artificial artifact found in Society. I mean no offense.”
“None is taken, Colonel. I hope I do not seem too informal if I ask if you know some of our history.”
“Indeed Miss Elizabeth, I do. Fitz wasn’t himself after we left Rosings. Even more aloof and distant than normal which is quite a feat even for him. I did not consider anything more amiss than his usual perturbation at our aunt’s maneuvering to marry Anne to Fitz. While both he and Georgiana were in London, I had the occasion to visit and found Georgiana distressed about Fitz’s change in behavior and Fitz in as black of a mood as ever I saw him. I do not wish to tell you of any of his indignity suffice it to say he had imbibed in brandy more than he should have. After some cajoling and frankly a bit of demanding for an explanation of his behavior, he then admitted to being in love with the beautiful and witty Miss Elizabeth. When I pressed him further as to why he never sought an address with you, he informed me of his proposal.” At this, the Colonel leans back into his chair with a mischievous grin and continues his tale. “Fitz told me of the well thought out proposal, and I must admit to my shame I taunted him a little about how only he would insult someone he claimed to love by pointing out obstacles to the match. Fitz was more than a little affronted, and again I do not want to add to his indignities but let us just say I was glad he was not in top form.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widen, and the Colonel rushes to assure her. “Understand Miss Elizabeth, Fitz and I have verbally parried and sparred for years. He would not have expected me to act any differently and I can also assure you if the roles were reversed, he would have delighted in telling me of my missteps. That being said, I encouraged him to return to Hertfordshire, but he would not hear of it. My cousin is a stubborn man as you know, but I feel as though he had resigned himself to the end that he muddled affairs beyond repair.” The Colonel pauses while Elizabeth again mops Darcy’s brow. He is restless again. She murmurs to him letting him know she did not leave him and told him the Colonel is here also. He stills once more allowing the Colonel to take up his tale once again.
“I do know he told Bingley of his part in separating him from your sister,” the Colonel continues, “and when Bingley wrote of his success with your sister, he also asked for Darcy to return. I believe my cousin was inclined to do so and was making plans to that end when he received a visit from our illustrious aunt.” The last part of this sentence is said with a wry grin. “He dashed off a quick missive informing me of the events and his urgency to return here. He also promised to enlighten me as to all which had transpired regarding Aunt Catherine. Forgive my impropriety here, Miss Elizabeth, but I must tell you that our aunt vexes us both, but there is little we can do to contain her.” The Colonel shakes his head ruefully. “I eagerly looked forward to a communication from Fitz but instead received Bingley’s note indicating Fitz’s misfortune.”
The Colonel then pauses as he collects his thou
ghts, “I must say again how much I appreciate your willingness to be here at Fitz’s bedside, but at the risk of offending your sensibilities, I have to ask, can you give my cousin any hope?” Elizabeth understands exactly what the good Colonel is alluding to. He knows the whole sordid story and does not condemn Elizabeth for her part in it. The Colonel understands Darcy’s nature and his reluctance to let anyone too close to him. Elizabeth nods almost imperceptibly. She will give Darcy the hope he needs.
“Good, it’s as I thought. Tell him, Miss Elizabeth. Tell him of your affections. Let him know.” The Colonel then adds with a twinkle in his eyes, “but do not call him Fitz.” He stands to leave announcing he will ride into town to ascertain what is being done with Cooperton and Stark as well as to inform the authorities regarding Darcy’s condition. Once he has satisfied himself in that quarter, he will return to sit with his cousin. He bids Elizabeth goodbye and departs.
Elizabeth ponders all Colonel Fitzwilliam told her, and while she knows some chagrin that he is privy to all which passed between her and Darcy, she can hardly be upset. Just as she had turned to Jane, Darcy turned to the Colonel for some relief. Elizabeth retrieves another cool cloth but cannot help but to finger the cravat laying on the table. It belongs to Darcy, and as Elizabeth gently touches it, she is overcome with emotion. She decides to take the Colonel’s advice and tell Darcy how she feels. In addition to letting him know of her presence, she will tell him of her feelings and give him the hope he seems to need. A Bible verse comes into her mind; Greater love hath no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends. How can she not give this man some peace after what he had willingly undergone to keep her and her sisters safe? Some may think she is too forward, wanton even. Lizzy feels sure of her course. She realizes too there is a little absurdity in addressing him as Mr. Darcy.