Healing Mr Darcy’s Heart

by Kay Mares

  “I just thought I would give you a preview of what to expect later.” Darcy sits back smugly because he sees Lizzy is a bit disappointed that he ceased his ministrations. “You are agreeable to my said course of action?” Here he cannot help but chuckle a little as Lizzy looks petulant. “Come now Mrs. Darcy; I think it will be worth the wait.”

  “Oh yes, I am sure it will be worth the wait. However what if the carriage ride proves too tiring and I am unable to maintain wakefulness? Then what?” Elizabeth gives him some teasing of her own as she puts the back of one hand across her forehead imitating a coming swoon.

  “I have given due diligence to that possibility and can assure you without a doubt, no matter the time of our arrival; you will be alert to the new adventures awaiting us.” Darcy pulls her to his side and commences a leisurely caress to her arm and side. They stop sometime later both to take a short stroll to relive the tension from their legs and to allow the horses a break. During this time, they share a packed lunch and talk of the area they are passing through. Returning to the carriage, they resume their journey. Darcy tells Lizzy of some of the area – the people, the country, the crops, and livestock. Elizabeth is astounded at his expansive knowledge, but he makes her to know he would be remiss in his duties as Master if he did not make himself aware of new trends and ideas which have come to the country.

  “Remember when I proposed to you successfully at Netherfield? I never told you of the tenant dispute which had me so agitated. My steward, Mr. Scovell and I have been dealing with two contentious farmers for quite some time. Both men have fought over the use of certain equipment, what crops to plant, and boundary lines. It seems as if Mr. Scovell and I would settle one argument only to have them come up with another. I began to wonder if their real design was to vex me at all turns.”

  “Whatever did you do to settle the matter this time?”

  “I believe I landed upon a most ingenious if not a little bit devious of a plan. Both farmers were to allow their fields to be fallow for one year. As we talked about before while traveling through the regions, I try to stay abreast of current ideas as well as stay open to new possibilities. A fallow field is one such possibility which allows for the soil to reconstitute itself during the time it is left dormant. The following year, the crops seem to give a greater abundance. Other farmers and landowners have reported success.”

  “I see the wisdom in your thinking but how do the farmers support their families for the year they do not plant?” Elizabeth’s brow is furrowed.

  “Therein is the beauty of my solution as well as the deviousness I alluded to.” Darcy wagged a finger about. “Because it would not do for them to be idle, I instead assigned them to assist with the sheep shearing and care for that year. The shearing is a hot dirty business while the care of the sheep especially during the winter is arduous. I suspect they both will be more than eager to return to working the land. I further hope the threat of returning to the care of livestock will help them reach some accord.” Darcy sits back, pleased with himself. “It is a shame at times I must treat grown men as children, but unfortunately it needed to be done.”

  Elizabeth studies him for a few moments. She mulls over how he has so many responsibilities but did not consider other types of issues he would have to mediate to keep his estate running. He executed these duties without fail since he was two and twenty. Elizabeth mentally lists the young men she knows who are around that same age. While they are good decent fellows, she is cognizant of the fact that in comparison to her husband, they are really boys. Darcy had been in the role of an adult man for six years before meeting her. No wonder he presents himself so differently from those she knows in her neighborhood. It really isn’t so much to do with his wealth and consequence as it is he needs to be steady and accountable for the many who depend on him. Her assessment of him makes her love him all the more and appreciate what a fine man he is.

  “You give so much of yourself to Pemberley. How do you keep from being overwhelmed?” Elizabeth wants to know.

  “Believe me when I tell you that after my father’s death, I did feel overwhelmed. There were times I thought the task of keeping Pemberley running too daunting. But as long as Pemberley continues, so does my family. Plus my father had allowed me to know the inner workings since I was a young child. His foresight allowed for me to take over readily, but it was not easy. I just returned from University and expected that he and I would co-manage Pemberley for years to come. His death was sudden and a shock. Georgiana was heartbroken, and while I was beside myself with my grief, I understood I had to be the one solid in my sister’s shattered life.” Darcy gives a small snort. “I have been accused of being overprotective, and I suppose I am, but many people do not realize as Georgiana has matured, she has, to the best of her ability, strove to shield me from the world. We learned to rely on the other which fostered a close relationship. With you joining our family, Elizabeth, both Georgiana and I feel blessed.” Between the swaying of the carriage, the light lunch and the security she feels within his embrace, it is not long until Lizzy slips into a doze. Darcy enjoys holding her as she rests. He traces his fingers along her arm at times while watching the scenery slide by. Soon they are outside the door of the inn.

  “Elizabeth we are here.” Darcy quietly awakens her. He watches as she stretches and fixes her clothes. “Come, Love, let me assist you from the carriage. I have already made our dining arrangements, and by the time we have had our meal, our rooms will be ready.”

  The inn is a large brick structure with a welcoming entrance. Darcy’s staff already spoke to the inn’s staff, and the trunks are being unloaded. Darcy quickly surveys the scene, assured all is being accomplished according to his wishes. The owner bows deeply as he greets them. “Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, it is my never-ending honor to have you here tonight as our guests. The rooms you have requested have been set up, and your staff has access to anything they deem necessary to make your stay with us more pleasant. Please, Sir, Madam, allow me to escort you to the private dining area set up just as you directed Mr. Darcy.” The innkeeper does not offer the false platitudes like Mr. Collins, but instead, he acts out of deference for Darcy. Elizabeth looks at her husband. He is not as rigid as she often sees him, but he is very formal and regal. He stands taller and gives off an aura of command. He expects his wishes to be carried out without delay. He is not impolite but rather a tad bit aloof. As they make their way to the table, Darcy thanks the man for his work and indicates they are ready for their meal.

  “Is it so hard to be so many things to so many different people?” Elizabeth inquires of him once they are alone awaiting the soup.

  “No, Elizabeth it really is not. I am what the rest of the world would have me be. Reserved, formal and dignified. People regardless of their station in life expect others to act in a certain manner. While it may not seem fair at all times, it is the way of our land and has been for some time. I do as I am supposed to. It is my upbringing and heritage.” Darcy pauses as the soup is served. He acknowledges the staff and thanks them, takes a sip of wine, then continues once more when they are alone again.

  “Think about this Elizabeth,” the corner of his mouth is upturned now along with a mischievousness in his blue eyes. “How hard it would be for me to function in this world if everyone knew what an amiable man I truly am. Why I’d never be taken seriously again. Remember at Netherfield when you and Miss Bingley discussed I should never be teased? There is some truth in that, arrogant as it may sound. Men are expected to always be in control of their emotions when out in public. I know of some associates who will not deal with another whom they judge as unworthy simply because the gentleman is too jovial. So Elizabeth you must keep my insensibility to yourself.” Darcy largely grins. Elizabeth shakes her head as she laughs with him.

  “Your secret is safe with me. I would have you no other way, in private nor in public. I am delighted only I know the true you.” The main course is served, and they both talk about their homes, travel
s, people who attended the wedding and of course the wedding itself. By the end of the meal, both are completely relaxed and content.

  “Mrs. Darcy, I took the liberty of informing Ada you would most likely enjoy a bath after your meal. I hope this meets with your approval?” Elizabeth agrees and knowing tonight will be the most momentous night of her life thus far, Elizabeth allows Darcy to escort her to her rooms.

  “I will await you in our joint sitting room. Take your time, Elizabeth.” Darcy lingers over the syllables in her name almost like caressing them. Lizzy shivers in anticipation as he looks at her with his eyelids partially lowered. With a straightening of his back and a confident stride, he departs. Ada comes forward to report the bath is drawn and Lizzy’s night attire is ready. Lizzy blushes a little because, in addition to the newness of having someone attend her every need, she knows too Ada is cognizant this is her wedding night. The bath is soothing, and Elizabeth takes her time. Ada assisted her with her nightgown and helped her brush out her hair. She dismissed Ada for the night and now hesitates at the door of the sitting room. She has a better knowledge of what to expect from tonight after talking with her Aunt Gardiner, but she still could not help but have some trepidation. Her life will change forever once this night is complete. She then recalls all the ways Darcy protected her. He will gently guide her, and they will consummate their love. With a deep breath, she opens the door.

  He is sitting in a chair by the fire, a glass of wine on the small table awaits her, and he holds his glass in his hand. As Darcy becomes aware of Elizabeth’s presence in the room, he stands and sets the wine down. He takes a deep breath himself then comes over and escorts her to the other chair by the fire. She notes he is clothed only in a robe which makes her acutely aware of their circumstances.

  “I think I can comprehend the anxiousness you may be feeling, Elizabeth, but please know I have no desire to rush you nor do I expect anything of you. You and I have been through so much together all starting with a country assembly at Meryton. How foolish was I back then. I have learned so much from you.” He returns to his seat by the fire where he stretches his long legs out in front of him. Elizabeth sees his foot and ankle and finds herself distracted from his talk while her thoughts take on a decidedly different slant. Darcy continues “I fought my attraction for you, but I was already lost. Will you laugh at me or be angry with me if I admit to trying to introduce topics which I hoped would provoke you? Yes, Love, I wanted you to pay attention to me, the problem was I did not know how to flirt with a woman let alone make her aware of my interest in her.” Darcy swirls his wine and removes his gaze from the fire as Elizabeth speaks.

  “Why did you not just be yourself? I would have found you then as I do now, most delightful.”

  “Ah but Elizabeth, I had already made grievous mistakes and you were misled. I do not think my native charm would have won you over at that point.” Darcy says playfully. Elizabeth chuckles at him making light of their rocky beginning. “But I finally figured out what it took to win a woman worthy of winning and so here we are.” He takes her glass from her and gently encourages her to stand. “You are so beautiful, and I am so fortunate to have you. Are you ready to begin our new life together?” Elizabeth nods her approval, and Darcy lowers his head to hers and begins with a tentative kiss. Elizabeth responds to him, and he encircles his arms around her while increasing the pressure to her mouth. Elizabeth begins to feel those same new sensations he stirred in her during their courtship. She feels the same need as before and like before knows only Darcy can fulfill it. Because of the setting and these desires, Elizabeth melts into his chest while wrapping her arms around his waist. He presses into her harder, then reaches down and scoops her up into his embrace, kisses her again and takes her into his room. He lies her down upon the bed and begins leisurely stroking her neck and arms as he kisses down her neck. Elizabeth wants more from him, and he does not disappoint. Soon they are both heated, and the natural physical expression of their love and desire commences.

  Much later as they lay with each other after their union and a doze, Elizabeth wakes and begins to study her husband. He had been gentle and soft, always looking to her needs and their first love act was all she had hoped. They are one-body and soul. Elizabeth loves him more than anyone else. The depth of her love overpowers her at times. As she looks over his form, she is struck by how powerful and masculine he really is. The muscles she only glimpsed before or imagined are defined and in her mind perfect. His dark hairs are dispersed on his chest, arms, and legs. In the dim light, she sees the healing wound on his left shoulder from the gunshot, and she again feels the pang of fear from almost losing him. As Darcy sleeps on, Lizzy continues her assessment.

  Elizabeth looks at his face, relaxed and soft. He always was a very handsome man even with the ridiculous scowl. Now there is nothing but peace etched upon him. She gazes again at the gunshot wound which is still a little pink but mostly healed. She allows her eyes to travel down his torso and she notes a whitish scar near his waistline on his right side. The scar is old but what strikes her as odd is that it is almost perfectly straight, about six inches long and as she peers harder, she can see small pinpoint sized dots on either side of it indicating it had been stitched up at some point. Elizabeth cannot stop herself, and she reaches out and traces it with her fingertips. The movement causes Darcy to stir then awaken. He smiles at her, and his soft blue eyes seek her hazel ones.

  Elizabeth lies alongside of him and continues to run her finger along the scar. “What happened to you here?” Darcy’s face darkens, and he fixes his eyes on the ceiling. He draws in a breath and quietly begins to tell her the tale.

  “I told you I had given Wickham a sum of money per his request instead of the living. As you know he disappeared for a while then came back into my life and tried to ruin Georgiana. I sent him a letter to inform him his plans were foiled and dismissed Mrs. Younge. I turned my attention to Georgiana. She grieved over offending me, and she needed my support and love. We returned to Pemberley, and some months later Wickham in all his pomposity demanded an audience with me. He was escorted into my study, and I stood behind my desk as I addressed him. He blamed me for all his misfortunes and opined I should still be prevailed upon to make his fortune in spite of what he had tried to do with Georgiana. The exchange became heated quickly as you might well imagine.” Elizabeth clutches him tighter and waits in dread for Darcy to continue.

  “I stepped around to the edge of the desk and was considering a more physical way of dealing with the miscreant. Our voices grew louder, and I suspect the servants were starting to take notice. I was slightly turned, and without warning, Wickham brandished a knife, and with one slashing motion, he opened that cut to my side. He stood there astonished almost as if he surprised himself by his actions. I felt the burn from the cut and was equally astonished he would react as he did. I had previously removed my waistcoat and vest, so the blood spread quickly through my shirt. Wickham stared at the stain, and it seemed to spur him into action. He gasped and spun about, leaving the study and Pemberley. I was pressing my hand over the wound as Mrs. Reynolds, and a footman rushed in, no doubt alerted by our argument. I told them in no uncertain terms this incident should not be repeated and I would be highly displeased should I hear any gossip related to it. They both agreed, and Mrs. Reynolds cleaned and stitched the cut for me. My ruined shirt-yes another one-was burned.”

  “Why has Wickham not been dealt with?! How is he allowed to go on about with no consequences?!” Elizabeth cries while tears stream down her face. “It is not fair; it is wrong on so many levels.”

  Darcy rolls to his side and draws her to him. “Easy now Lizzy, it is well. I could not risk the exposure for Georgiana’s sake. Furthermore, think of how much undue suffering and guilt she would bear if she knew of my injury and the cause of my injury. I also had Pemberley’s reputation to think of. Many would lose faith in me and their future with the estate if they thought such scandal came to the door. I might h
ave been seen as weak, and Georgiana’s future would be in ruin. I had to protect all those who rely on the strength of Pemberley. I know you have at times thought me to be above my company and I suppose I have been. However, I think at times my father erred - forgive me - when he allowed Mr. Wickham too much access to the family and too much latitude. At the risk of sounding extremely pompous, I cannot help but believe at certain times it is for the best to keep some at a distance.”

  “But it is not fair you should have suffered alone. It grieves me to think of the pain you went through.” Lizzy clings to him as sobs wrack her shoulders. How had she ever thought poorly of him and defended Wickham to him? It shames her to think of the misery she unwittingly put him through. “Fitzwilliam, how can you love me? After what I said to you and you bore it all with far more grace than I would have. I am so sorry. I never knew how Wickham had tormented you.”

  “I will always love you, Lizzy and I hold no rancor over our past. You are here with me now, and that is all which matters to me. There is nothing for you to apologize for.” Darcy kisses her tears away, and in light of what he relayed to her, Elizabeth feels an overpowering surge of protectiveness and desire. She soon is kissing him back with hunger and urgency which he responds to rapidly. They give way to their passion and love each other vigorously. It is many moments before they speak again.

  “Elizabeth, I must tell you one more thing. While Wickham despises me, I can assure you he does not seem to have any anger towards your family nor your sister. I have associates who keep an eye on his whereabouts. I enlisted them shortly after his attack on me, and I receive regular reports on him. He is not always faithful to his vows with your sister, but he has not shown her any abuse either. I will continue to keep him under surveillance as I feel it is prudent to do so.”