by Kay Mares
Darcy closes his eyes and Lizzy feels his grief. As she turns her head to better view him, it gives her pain to see tears in his eyes. She says nothing sensing he just needs her with him. At length, he begins to speak again as his voice breaks a tiny bit. “I have tried to be a good Master. Yet sometimes I am unsure. The persona you first saw is not the true man. You know now, but I often wonder if I made mistakes in being so distant with everyone, not the ton but others in my day to day interactions. Then again, my father warned me of those who would seek an alliance with me solely because of my name and consequence. And they did, so I had to protect Pemberley and my sister from them. The last six years of my life were so cold and lonely. Henry tried to be a friend, and he was, but I was always alone. Even in a room full of people I was alone. I could not turn to Georgiana as a confidant. Henry did not always understand the workings of an estate and my father was gone. I, who had everything to be proud of, found all the wealth and standing to be empty and hollow. My sister’s love was the only bright spot, but I failed her when Wickham almost ruined her. What would my father say?” he finishes in a whisper.
Elizabeth rarely hears him speak of his grief over losing his parents. That he suffered is obvious, and she is overcome with shame for a moment when she recalled some of her hurtful words to him. His feelings are deep as is his torment of himself over what he perceives are his shortcomings.
“Fitzwilliam, part of the reason I fell in love with you is because of the honorable way you conduct yourself in every situation. I understand, and you must too, even though you were unaware of Jane’s attachment to Bingley you moved to protect him. I have heard nothing but praise for you from your servants, tenants and the townsfolk. So many cannot be mistaken. Wickham practiced perfidy and frank evil on you yet you still rose above him and acted with honor and dignity. Georgiana and I have talked about what transpired, and she has grown from the experience. It was a hard lesson, and I shudder to think of the pain it caused her but she has gained strength from it which she will use when she seeks her own way in the world. She will pick a man who will respect and honor her instead of one who would flatter her with false platitudes.”
Elizabeth turns to face him fully as she continues. “You once said I was a woman worthy of being pleased and you have praised my intellect. Do you think I would align myself with someone who I did not respect and admire? You are noble, and you have weathered some tumultuous times, times filled with suffering and uncertainty yet you have not only persevered but overcome your difficulties and never lost your dignity nor benevolence. Do not doubt yourself. Those who know and love you are secure in the knowledge of your protection and your love. I would think your father would be proud if he could see the man you have become.”
Darcy tightens his grip on her. She completes him and understands him. She banishes the pain and bitterness from his soul. Her words find a home in his heart and mind. “I love you, Mrs. Darcy. Without you I am nothing. There are times when I feel like the only thing I need is to breathe just to love you. You complete me.” They make their way back to the horses with their arms about each other’s waists. As Elizabeth mounts with Darcy’s assistance, she archly calls to him, “race you!” as she urges Zephyr away. Darcy does not hurry to mount. When he does, he smiles, leaving his gloominess behind. Tempest catches up quickly to Zephyr so with a rakish grin, he urges his horse on and passes Elizabeth’s mount handily.
At the front of the barn, he barely dismounts when Elizabeth comes riding up. “You were just lucky this time Mr. Darcy, next time Zephyr and I will show no mercy.”
“You took a head start, My Love, yet Tempest and I are the victors.” Darcy laughingly tells her.
“Remember when I said you had no improper pride? Well, it seems I was mistaken.” Elizabeth saucily replies. Darcy continues to chuckle at his adorable wife.
Later in the day, Elizabeth entertains the ladies in one of the sitting rooms while Darcy, Bingley, Jonesy and Henry view a nearby estate. Darcy plans to update Elizabeth on the particulars of this estate later. It came to his attention when he shuffled through the papers Jonesy brought with him, and he was able to arrange for a visit. The ladies are enjoying tea with light snacks. Jane and Elizabeth are curious regarding Kitty’s conservatory tour with the amiable Jonesy.
“So how did you come to be in the company of the most agreeable Mr. Jones?” Elizabeth playfully asks Kitty. Kitty blushes becomingly before she answers.
“Would you believe the gentleman wished for me to accompany him? He asked my permission to stroll with me.”
“I would believe it. You have matured Kitty, so surely good men will start to take notice of your charms. I am most impressed with your manners. You have learned from Jane, and it shows.”
“Thank you, Lizzy and you also Jane. What you say is true. I noted you both presented yourselves like ladies and eventually won the hands of most loyal gentlemen. I do not speak of their wealth, you have shown me what is more important in a marriage, that being a man who respects his wife and cherishes her.”
“Yes Kitty, you speak the truth so enlighten us to how Mr. Jones may fit that category,” Jane asks with a slight grin. Since her marriage to the jovial Mr. Bingley, it is not uncommon for Jane to jest a small amount with others.
“Mr. Jones is all that is polite, but he is also witty. Many times he made me laugh, but I tried not to let my mirth carry me away as I did around the officers. He seemed pleased to be in my company, and we discussed many things including literature.” Kitty looks over at Elizabeth as she continues, “Lizzy, I remember how you used to spend many hours in Papa’s library. At the time I thought you foolish, but after Lydia’s marriage and Papa’s edict that I spend time every day in a meaningful way, I soon found I enjoyed many of the books I read. I found a wealth of knowledge there, so Papa and I began to discuss some of what I read. Just like he used to challenge you, Lizzy, he did so with me, often taking an opposing view so I would have to justify my opinion. He was never harsh but more amused to hear what I had thought up. I do not fancy I will have your intellect Lizzy, but I feel I now have a better understanding. At least Mr. Jones seemed to appreciate my opinions.”
“Do you think you may begin to affect the man?” Lizzy asks good-naturedly.
“Oh Lizzy, really! I like him well enough, but I do not know what to expect. I suppose I will just enjoy the gentleman’s attention but not allow myself to leap ahead to any conclusions.” Kitty drops her gaze as she sips from her teacup.
“Sensible plan, sister. You will do well to adopt a wait and see attitude. Many times our feminine minds jump from affection to love to marriage. As I found out, it is never that easy.” Lizzy counsels.
When Lizzy goes above to her dressing area, she notes Darcy’s cravat on the table in their private sitting room. She returns to the bedchamber to investigate; unaware Darcy has returned from viewing the estate. As she enters, she sees him sprawled out at an angle across one corner of the bed, lying on his stomach. His hair is disheveled, and his clothes are wrinkled. As she approaches, he opens one eye while raising his brow. Elizabeth voices her curiosity as to when he returned and why he is in such a state upon the bed.
“I recognized this one estate as being close to us, just about a fifteen-mile ride from here, so I sent a footman over the other day to collect information on the estate as well as to ask permission to tour. The owner was most anxious to have Jonesy and Bingley see his estate. Seems his only and eldest son, his only heir, lost his life in a violent horse accident. He went down with the animal in a creek and the beast thrashed about, giving fatal injury to the son.” Lizzy gasps but neither of them are strangers to what can befall someone when riding a horse. “The poor gentleman is most anxious to relieve himself of the estate so he may retire to London. His wife is already there, grieving. The family is only known to me by reputation as fair and good stewards of the land, but I never spoke with them.” Darcy moves stiffly to reposition his body.
“The estate is in g
ood repair not an overly large one but profitable and suitable for either Bingley or Jonesy. With a few alterations, the estate could become more profitable. Jonesy hated it, and Bingley loved it.”
“Will you encourage Bingley in this direction then?”
“I have learned my lesson well regarding meddling in anyone else’s affairs. I will give my opinion just as I stated to you, but Bingley and your sister will have the final say. It is their choice alone.”
“I must say, Mr. Darcy, you improve upon acquaintance,” Elizabeth teasingly tells him, “but you still have not answered me regarding your odd position on our bed.”
Darcy groans and closes his eyes again while shifting about. “You are aware of my habit to be a bit ahead of time? Well, the others are also aware-to my painful dismay. They readied themselves before me, sending word our horses were saddled awaiting me. I thought nothing of this, rushing to the courtyard to see the three of them mounted on their horses with Tempest nowhere to be seen. In his stead was one of the carriage horses, saddled and ready for me to mount. Elizabeth, there is a reason each horse is assigned different work, and this horse is best suited to the harness. Well, Henry had some concocted story that Tempest would not be caught, so they made due, and if I did not hurry we would be late, it would be poor form and all that rot.” Elizabeth is shaking her head with a smile. It did not take them long to settle the score with Darcy for his planned hunt the other morning.
“I am a competent rider, and I did not want to give them the satisfaction of having them believe I was not able to handle the horse - pride, Elizabeth, pride - so I mounted up. They encouraged a swift trot, and that miserable creature has one of the most bone-jarring trots I have ever sat! Also, since the carriage horse was one who would not normally be ridden, he was most anxious and flighty. Bingley offered his own mount, but I waved him off. Henry and Jonesy contentedly bantered the whole ride there. We met the Master, toured the grounds and manor then made ready to leave. The gentleman eyed my mount with puzzlement but offered no comment. The return ride was unbridled misery, pardon the pun, and I could not wait to return. Naturally, we trotted back as swiftly as we went. With as much dignity as I could muster, I excused myself to our quarters so I could dress for the evening meal. As I left them in the foyer, I overheard their chuckles.” Darcy rolls to his back and stares at the ceiling.
“Perhaps it is time for a cease and desist, maybe a truce?” Elizabeth suggests.
“Never! I will anticipate my next chance to strike. We will be doing thus in our dotage.” Darcy gingerly swings his legs over the edge of the bed. He stood, stretches, curses under his breath and makes his way slowly to his dressing room. Elizabeth awaits him in the sitting room. He returns to escort her to dinner. However as he sits to the meal, Elizabeth sees a pained grimace flit over his face as his bottom comes in contact with the hard chair seat. Bingley does not laugh but keeps his eyes averted, Jonesy and Henry hold no such compulsion, watching Darcy’s movements earnestly.
“Mr. Darcy, you seem uncomfortable,” Caroline says quizzically, “are you feeling well?”
“Fine, Miss Bingley, fine, I assure you,” Darcy responds in a soft voice.
“Capital day for a ride, I have to say. Right, Jonesy? I am glad Fitz was able to arrange a tour of the manor on such short notice.” Henry gleefully says.
“Indeed it was a glorious ride. Fitz, you were wise to keep us at a steady clip. That horse you rode too. What a magnificent animal. You will be the talk of the neighborhood when you are so elegantly mounted.” Jonesy flashes a broad grin.
“Thank you for the compliments,” Darcy inclines his head to Henry and Jonesy then continues, “I found the estate to be well kept and with a few alterations as to the running of the place, it is my opinion it would become even more profitable. It is a shame Mr. Kerfoot lost his only child. He wishes to spend his remaining years in London with his wife. He said the estate holds only sorrow for him now so he ready to entertain any reasonable offers.” Darcy does not wish to dwell on the topic of his sore backside.
“Oh yes, right, right. I have the same impression. Indeed, Cousin, I agree with your assessment.” Henry concurs with mock sincerity while nodding his head knowingly. Henry knows Darcy is deflecting the conversation from his aching posterior. Darcy rewards Henry’s false solicitude with a withering glare. Jonesy and Henry sport identical large grins.
“Darcy, if it is at all possible, I would like for Jane to see the estate while we are still at Pemberley. We would utilize our own carriage, and I would be indebted if you and maybe Mrs. Darcy would consent to travel with us?” Bingley asks.
Caroline interrupts before Darcy can respond. “Charles, Louisa and I would be unable to tour the estate with you if you use only your carriage. I think it prudent for me to view the manor.” Caroline does not want her brother to purchase any property she does not approve of. Neither does she think Jane will be able to make an informed decision regarding the estate. Louisa puts an end to Caroline’s desires.
“Sister, I feel we should allow our brother and his wife to view the estate first. Furthermore, the Darcys can give them direction. Should they feel favorable to the manor, then I am sure Charles will make accommodations for us to visit later.” Louisa gives her sister a hard stare and holds her gaze.
“I see what you are saying, Louisa, and I agree.” Caroline focuses on Charles then, “If you decide to learn more about the estate, I will hope you would consent to me viewing it in the future.” Charles is surprised by the exchange between his sisters, then further surprised by Caroline’s last statement. He holds hope for Caroline that she will learn to temper herself.
Darcy and Elizabeth watch the exchange between the Bingley siblings closely. It is clear Louisa must have communicated to Caroline that her manners are unbecoming and beginning to grind on the others around her. How long Caroline will heed Louisa’s remonstrance remains to be seen. Charles’ expression is one of surprise, but he comments no further. Jane shoots Elizabeth a quizzical look and Lizzy shrugs. Darcy finally responds.
“I believe Elizabeth and I would be most happy to accompany you to the estate. I will have a man return to the manor to see if perhaps we may set up a return visit after Christmas if this meets with your approval, Bingley?”
“Indeed Darcy, it does. Thank you for your attention to this matter.” As the meal concluded, the men escorted the ladies to the parlor, but the guests opt for an early night as tomorrow is Christmas Day. In the Master’s chambers. Darcy finds Elizabeth ready for bed but sitting in their sitting room watching the fire. She has a glass of wine and is comfortably settled into one of the wingback chairs before the hearth. Darcy sheds his clothes, opting for a robe. He sits down on the other chair carefully, glances to the fire then to Elizabeth. She smiles at him, and he becomes bathed in contentment.
“Have you any concerns regarding tomorrow and your first Christmas at Pemberley, Lizzy?” Darcy asks gently.
“None whatsoever. Your staff is excellent and needed no input from me. However, they took my suggestions and had everything well in hand. I have no worries. Besides, how could I have a care with you here by my side? Have I told you how wonderful you are, Mr. Darcy? Really, a girl could be overwhelmed by your charms.” Elizabeth says coquettishly. “Have you any concerns about tomorrow, love?”
“No, I do not. So my charms are overwhelming, eh Elizabeth? If so, why did it take you so long to discover them?” he responds archly.
“A very magnificent man kept himself well hidden from the rest of the world with an almost impenetrable barrier surrounding him.” Elizabeth sets her wine glass down then inches her way to his chair. Darcy monitors her progress with anticipation.
“How were you able to break through to this gentleman? He sounds impervious.” Darcy rasps as she puts a hand on each of his thighs and begins to knead her way up his legs.
“Ah, there is the most amazing part of this journey,” now she puts her face close to his as she stares into his blue ey
es, “this man trusted me and knew my worth allowing me to become close to him. I was allowed past his walls.”
“How close did he let you come?” Darcy whispers. Elizabeth kisses his face numerous times then as she lies against his chest, she puts her mouth to his ear while telling him. What she says is for his ears only, but the result is a lovemaking session right there before the fire.
Christmas morning brought breakfast then a church service attended by the assembled guests and the Darcys. The ladies are attired in beautiful gowns for the occasion with the gentlemen dress accordingly. When the party returns to the manor, they reconvene in the parlor to open presents. Georgiana is especially delighted to share Christmas with her new sister, and she is becoming fond of Jane as well. Having the former Bennet sisters at Pemberley has been great fun for Georgiana, and she relishes the female companionship.
Jonesy seems to take more than just a casual interest in Kitty, often accompanying her into meals and turning pages for her when she takes a turn at the piano. Jonesy encourages Kitty to allow some of her humor to come to the forefront which she does but guardedly. Kitty admits to Lizzy more than just a passing fancy to the man as she learns more of him, finding they have some interests in common. Darcy watches the interplay between the two with barely hid amusement. He comments to Lizzy about Kitty’s improved manners and again as he painfully learned in the past, he will not interfere in another’s affairs unless something untoward is going on.