by K. K. Allen
I speak before I have time to reconsider my actions. “Why don’t you grab everyone else? I need to talk to Wolf before we leave. I’ll let him know we’re going.”
Lorraine nods and walks over to talk to Derrick. I take a step, but Melanie grabs my hand, holding me back. “Wait up a sec,” she says quietly. “You know Wolf’s like this, right? It’s just who he is.”
My heart sinks fast and deep into a pit of disappointment. I hate that I’m no longer in control of the anchor. “I’m fine. I don’t care, honestly, Mel. I just need to tell him something before we leave.” I smile, hoping it’s convincing enough. Her smile is pinched when she returns it, and then she walks off with Stryder and Misty.
What the hell am I doing?
As I approach Wolf and Natalie, I notice they’re even closer than they were before. His hand is on her waist. Her boobs are pressed against his chest. And they’re taking turns speaking, keeping their voices low enough that I can’t hear them upon my approach. I clear my throat.
Wolf sees me first, his eyes narrowing and his jaw tightening. “Lyric, what’s up?”
I smile at Natalie, hoping she’s less afflicted by my intrusion. Her kind smile only makes me feel worse. “I’m sorry, Wolf, can I speak to you for just a minute? Before I take off?” I swallow, hoping that’s enough for him to step away from the beautiful woman in his arms.
He hesitates, but follows me a few feet to the edge of the room. “This better be good,” he growls lowly.
His anger surprises me, even for him. He’s never treated me unkindly, even after our failed attempt at having sex. Heat forms behind my eyes, hating that it’s come to this. Hating so much that I care. “I-I’m sorry. It’s just … we’re leaving, and I want to make sure you get back to the hotel okay.”
He’s silent, his eyes moving between mine, as if he’s waiting for me to elaborate on why I pulled him away. I’ve got nothing else.
He lets out a puff of breath and leans down, pressing his mouth to my ear. Goose bumps explode across my skin. His voice is low as he speaks.
“I’m just going to put this out there, Lyric, because I’m not one to play games.” I hold my breath. “I’m going to take Natalie back to my room tonight, and I’m going to fuck her.” I gasp, hating myself for it, but what the hell? “Hard,” he adds, as if the first part wasn’t enough.
“You don’t have to—”
He leans back slightly to look me in the eyes. “Yes, I do have to tell you this. You should know, because you and I both know there’s something between us. Something neither of us is willing to explore. So tonight, I’m going to fuck someone else.”
“You’re doing this because of me?”
He laughs, a throaty laugh that rips my heart in two. “I’m doing this because I haven’t had sex in weeks. And there’s a hot piece over there who’s practically stayed a virgin waiting for one night with me.”
There’s a burning sensation in my eyes caused by a jealousy so ferocious I could explode. I pray to God he doesn’t notice. “You’re going to sleep with her and leave her, and you’re going to break her heart.” And mine. My eyes slip from his for just a second when I can feel my voice begin to tremble. “We both know you’ll do what you want, so do what you need to do, Wolf. Just don’t blame me when it’s all over.” And that’s when a tear slips down my cheek.
He leans in closer so I can feel his cheek just barely scrape mine. “I’m not who you want me to be.” His tone is gentle now, apologetic. “I’m not what you need.”
I reach out, gripping his waist as another tear falls.
With a stuttered breath, I take his words and accept them, pull away from his warmth, and walk away without looking back.
“I know,” I whisper.
It’s almost two in the morning when I finally give up on sleep and step into the hallway. Relaxing is impossible after the my conversation with Wolf.
He’s right. He’s a rock star with no commitments. He’s been nothing but honest with me since the beginning, and he’s done absolutely nothing wrong. It’s me that’s the fool. It’s me who puts up a sheet of ice so thick Wolf couldn’t get to know me if he tried. And in his own way, he has tried.
I pull change from my pocket and slip a few quarters into the vending machine before selecting my poison. Snickers always soothes. Then again, I missed dinner. Maybe I should go with something healthier. Rolling my eyes at my own conscience, I press the letter-number combination for Snickers and then move to the soda machine.
“Two a.m. munchies. You’re either high, or you’re punishing your body for wanting something else you think you can’t have.”
I flinch, but I don’t turn to look at Wolf. I’d know that raspy tone anywhere. I’ve melted for it. Starved for it. But not anymore. Not after Natalie.
I try to concentrate on my drink selection. I’m in the midst of inserting money into the slot when Wolf’s warm body moves behind me, pressing against me. Chest to my shoulders. Hands on my waist. He leans down, his nose falling into my neck, skimming upwards until it reaches my ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.
My body trembles at the heaviness of his words. They wash over me and seep into my pores before I can attempt to escape them. He’s sorry. He’s sorry for having sex with another girl? He’s sorry for telling me his intentions? None of it heals my heart. A heart that was already bruised to begin with. I’m so over this shit.
I let out a deep breath, punch in my code, and lean over to retrieve my drink. I swivel to face him, ready to tell him to go to hell when I notice what he’s wearing. Or better yet, what he’s not wearing. I bite my bottom lip as my eyes moving down his bare chest to the navy pajama pants that cling to his muscles. And other things. I finally pull my eyes away in order to clear my head, because damn.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I finally say.
Wolf lets out a breath and rakes his hands through his hair, seeming frustrated. “I didn’t have to speak to you like that.” He blows out another breath. “It was pretty shitty of me, actually.”
I shrug, not knowing what to say to that. He’s right. “Okay, well, apology accepted. Have a good night, Wolf.” I step around him.
“Wait. I can’t sleep either.”
My steps halt momentarily as I let out a laugh. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” I take another step to leave, but his hand grips mine before I make any progress. He swivels me around and backs me against the wall. Every inch of his front is pressing against me, and his fingers are threading through mine.
“I’m only going to say this once, and then I’m going to let you go. Okay?”
I nod slowly.
“I didn’t fuck anyone tonight.” Air freezes in my throat at his words. He’s lying. He slept with her and tossed her, and now he feels like shit. But his eyes tell me different, and they’re speaking directly to my heart. “It’s actually becoming a problem,” he continues. “And I’m sorry, but I’m going to start blaming you.”
Anger swirls through. “You can’t blame me for everything.”
He nods slowly, jaw tensing and relaxing steadily. “Oh, yes I can. It’s clear as day. Because until you slammed into me on that elevator, my life was pretty fucking easy.”
My eyes narrow, appalled that he would think to blame me for his impotence. “Screw you, Wolf.”
He smirks. “Baby, that’s all I want right now.”
I push against him with my hands, but he’s a brick wall of resistance. A brick wall that apparently retaliates. He steals my palms from his chest and pins them against the wall. He leans forward until his mouth is hovering above mine. “Don’t fucking push me.”
My chest tightens and squeezes into my throat. I’ve shed too many tears over him. I can’t cry now. “What do you want, Wolf?” I choke out.
His expression grows softer, his eyes tender as they plead with mine. “I want to kiss your pretty mouth.”
I swallow, silently screaming for my tears to stay back. “And then what?” I
challenge through my breathy words.
Now it’s his turn to smile as he stares at my lips while readying his with a slow sweep of his tongue. “Then I guess we’ll see.”
His mouth lands on mine, softly at first, deepening when my lips finally part for him. I moan. Something must be wrong with me. I swear, it didn’t take a second for me to stop fighting him and kiss him back. Our mouths work together, igniting the same sparks I felt before. The same sparks that could potentially grow into flames of our own making. A fire that will burn us all to the ground if this ends badly. And there’s no doubt it’s going to end badly.
He grips the backs of my thighs and lifts me. My legs instinctively wrap around his waist until I can feel him pressing into me, our mouths never stopping. My hands move through his hair, gripping tightly and tugging until he groans.
“My room,” he growls between kisses. “Now.”
Chapter Thirteen
Wolf
“Two for you, one for me,” I tease, nipping at Lyric’s swollen clit. She jerks at the sensitivity.
“Orgasm ratio? That’s really what you’re doing right now?”
I grin, feeling lighter than ever. “I’ll always make sure you get off more than me.”
“Lucky ladies,” she spews sarcastically.
Narrowing my eyes at her, I consider her intention behind the words. “I said you, Lyric. Just you.” I move up the bed, not ready to go into more detail, and lie back, turning on the television.
I flip through the channels, wishing there were ways we could get off together, like, at the same time. Apparently, I have a serious problem with condoms. Turns out the new box I purchased is defective. The moment I slid the first one on, the condom ripped at the head. Several curse words later, I tried another. Same problem. I kept trying until I’d emptied the entire box and chucked all the contents across the room.
Part of me thinks she likes the fact that we haven’t had sex yet. She laughs at my frustration. And I love when Lyric laughs, so I play it up a little, exaggerating my pout. Her laugh is like an instrument playing the sweetest, softest melody. It just might be my ultimate weakness.
Neither of us could sleep after we went back to my room last night, so we fooled around instead and grabbed breakfast from the hotel café before sneaking onto the bus. We were the first ones on, so we shut the door to my den, as she likes to call it, and collapsed on my bed. This time, we slept.
Hours later, we woke up and realized the bus was moving, which meant Crawley must have peeked in and saw us wrapped in each other’s arms. I don’t give a shit. Lyric smells good. Feels good too. All of that is something the old Wolf would have never known. But with Lyric’s quiet strength combined with our sexual chemistry, I’m not ready to send her packing.
“Maybe you should forego your room when we get to the hotel today. Stay with me tonight.” My eyes are focused on the television while I speak casually. As if what I asked isn’t a big fucking deal.
My arms are secured behind my head and Lyric is snuggled up against my bare chest, eyes focused on me. “Really?” She sounds nervous. Maybe she needs more convincing.
“I’m pretty sure I could go through an entire box of condoms tonight if you let me try.” I smirk, and she laughs.
“You’re such a romantic.”
I freeze and turn to look at her. “Is that what you want? Romance? With me?” I might have to contemplate this if it’s something Lyric wants. Right now, I can’t imagine letting her out of my sight, not even to slip into a room ten feet away.
Lyric’s eyes hold her shock, but she releases it with a laugh. “Don’t do that. Don’t say these things to me in the moment when we both know neither of us can handle a relationship right now.”
Is it so bad to think that I could maybe want a relationship with Lyric? Even I seem to think I’ll mess this up somehow, but what if I don’t? “I’m not promising anything,” I agree. “But it’s different with you.”
Her expression falls, and I desperately wish I could read this woman’s mind. “It’s just because we haven’t had sex yet,” she says with a shake of her head.
I want to grab that head, hold it still, and make her stop thinking so damn much.
“Don’t worry, Wolf. I won’t be that girl, okay? I won’t ask you for something you’ve admitted you don’t do. I just got out of a relationship, anyway, so I’m not ready for that kind of emotional turbulence.”
“With that fuck, Tony? You still messed up over him?”
Lyric shakes her head in frustration. “No, it’s not like that. It’s not about him. It’s about—”
“I know. Rock stars. You think we’re all the same.”
“Aren’t you?” She cries incredulously. “You’ve said it yourself.” She shakes her head, dragging a slow, deep breath between her lips. “Look. I think I’m okay with fooling around. You know, until we call it quits. Maybe at the end of the tour.”
A blow below the belt. “What the hell does that mean?” It might make me a hypocrite, but I didn’t expect this from Lyric. Not that I had plans for us after fucking. That has always kind of been the end goal, but right now, I don’t want anyone else.
My jaw hardens, and I know she sees my expression change because hers does, too. “That’s shitty, Lyric.” I loosen my grip on her, and she tries to meet my eyes again, but I’ve already looked away. If she doesn’t move off me, I’ll move her myself.
“I’m not your type, remember?” Her words come out in a rush. “Isn’t this just about sex? I get it, Wolf. You’re not secretive about your relationship preferences. You don’t have a girlfriend by choice. You’re content to bounce from one girl to the next, and while I’ll never understand that, I’m smart enough to know I need to shield my heart from you. I have no expectations.”
She’s not wrong for saying these things, but they still hurt. She wasn’t supposed to be like the others. Using me for her own release. In the past, the “using” has always been mutual. Women use me for bragging rights and a good time while I use them for the release I need.
No expectations. What if I have expectations? I do. I did. The thought of making Lyric come as many times as possible over the course of this tour came to mind a few times in the last twelve hours. What if I don’t want it to end when our tour does? What if I don’t want Lyric to shield her heart from me?
Shit.
Realizing I brought this upon myself, I bite back my anger and smile. She’s right. I’ve made it no secret that I’m not the type of guy to be with only one woman. But then why does it feel like she just reached into my chest and squeezed my heart with her small, unsuspecting hands?
“You’re a smart girl, Lyric.” This time I manage to roll her off me. I stand and pull my shorts on before taking the three steps to my tiny closet to grab a shirt. Without a word, I leave my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I walk past the bunks and into the living area to join the rest of the guys in front of the television.
Stryder gives me a knowing glance, and he doesn’t look happy about it. He probably thinks I’ve just fucked Lyric and now I’m done with her. I guess in a way I am, but not by choice. Not at all.
Chapter Fourteen
Lyric
My breath left with Wolf when he exited the room, but I know better than to call after him. He played it off like I didn’t hurt him, but I saw the pang of emotion in his eyes when I told him I needed to shield my heart from him.
What did he expect? What did he want me to expect?
Confusion consumes me as I rush from the bus to the main counter of the hotel in Gilford, New Hampshire to check us in, Crawley trailing behind me. I haven’t done shit all afternoon, and I’m going to be sorry for it if anything goes wrong.
After giving George, the man at the front desk, the booking information and my ID, he taps away on his screen. I watch his face change, and my heart sinks as he opens his mouth to speak. “I’m sorry, Miss Cassidy. It looks like your reservation got bumped.”
“You�
�ve got to be bloody kidding me,” Crawley voices under his breath as he walks away, and I grind my teeth in frustration.
“That’s impossible,” I say, focusing on the man behind the counter. “I have the confirmation right here. Your hotel even requested a deposit and we went ahead and paid in full.” I practically throw my phone onto the counter and wait for the damn app to load. My cheeks flame as George stares pityingly at me while the line of anxious hotel guests grows in my shadow.
Crawley is on his phone, pacing at the entrance of the hotel now, I assume trying to find alternate accommodations in case I can’t get this mess sorted out.
“Look!” I tap my phone’s screen again, revealing the confirmation from the hotel.
The man squints at it while he types something into his computer and then nods. “There’s been a mix up, Miss Cassidy. I do apologize. It appears you booked twenty rooms, but we were only able to secure six.”
“Six?” I squeak. “How did that happen?”
“You never received a call from us?”
“No.” I shake my head violently, trying to remain calm, but it’s impossible as I look over my shoulder and see Derrick and Stryder approach Crawley. Crawley says something heatedly and then they all look at me. My face gets flushed all over again.
I turn back to George. “You need to fix this. These arrangements were made well in advance. These are VIP guests who expect to stay in your hotel.”
The man nods. “Yes, miss. I’m seeing what we can do now. I apologize for the inconvenience.”
The inconvenience. He has no idea.
“Aha,” he finally says with a smile. “Another room opened up, so that makes seven rooms for you here. Unfortunately, I do not have any more space, but we have a sister hotel down the street that would be happy to take the remainder of your party.”