by DW Cee
Donovan contained his smile as deftly as humanly possible. “Okay, Jane Sydney Reid, let me hear your explanation. I’ve known you since you were born, and know what a clever girl you are. I’d like to know how you’re getting out of this one.”
Lucky for me, Donovan wasn’t mad. In fact, he was finding my predicament funny. If this situation weren’t entirely my fault, I’d almost call him out for being so ungentlemanly.
“That was Max, we had lunch and we are kinda back together again, I think.”
“What does it mean to be ‘kinda back together again, I think’? From the way you two were going at it on the sidewalk, it was more than being kinda together.”
“We were together for a while last year.”
“I remember Jake mentioning something like that—some incestuous relationship involving him, Emily, you and this guy, Max. Wasn’t he in love with your sister-in-law?”
Damn. He was still smiling through all this.
“Was.”
“Now he’s in love with you?”
“Not really. I don’t think so…” I pulled Donovan into his big office, closed the door and sat him down. “Here’s the deal, as I know it. Max and I met right before my brother and Emily got married. We dated for a while, but I was still in New York, and between the distance, my work, and his med school schedule, it didn’t work.” I didn’t mention my total insecurities about, and Max’s obvious feelings for, Emily. “When you asked me out this morning, I was not expecting what happened at lunch to happen. And I…”
Donovan cut me off. “Are you married?”
“No…”
“Are you and Max together?”
“I don’t know. I think so? I don’t have an answer to that, yet.”
“Do you still want to go out tonight with me?”
“Yes?” Did that make me a bad person to want to hang out with Donovan tonight?
“See you at six. Now, you’ve got to go ‘cuz I need to jump into this conference call.”
I got out of that one with relative ease. I did feel super guilty for going out with a guy other than Max. Maybe if it weren’t Donovan I’d have canceled the date. Like he said, he’s known me my whole life and I had a massive crush on him when I was little. It was cool that my childhood obsession asked me out.
Fast-forward seven hours. We were sitting courtside, watching the Lakers lose to the Bobcats. Dinner went better than any dinner date I’d ever been on, and now we were sipping beer chatting about old times.
“How do you like working in the LA office?” With his body slouched on the chair, his legs out and crossed, his arms across his chest and his tie loosened, he looked so sexy asking me this humdrum question. “Very different from the New York one, huh?”
“Yeah. I feel like I can have a life here. Is that why you finally made the move?”
“Yep. All my friends were getting married and having kids while I was billing hours around the clock.”
“Have you dated much since you got here? I thought I heard Jake say you were seeing someone.”
“Naw. I was waiting for you to grow up and notice me.” He smiled a devastating smile. I died a thousand deaths from his romantic profession. Damn, Damn, Damn.
“You know I had the biggest crush on you when I was like, seven years old.”
“But not now as a twenty-seven-year-old?”
I was so screwed.
Max? Max, who???
Noticing my obvious discomfort, he put his hand on my neck, pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head. It was the hottest brotherly kiss, ever!
Conversation jumped from embarrassing moments from our childhood to what he’d been doing while living in New York for the past fifteen years. I don’t think we watched much of the game. In fact, if you asked me now who won, I couldn’t answer that question.
We got back to the office and went up to collect our briefcases, when I saw my three main bosses in their office, working. Last thing I wanted to do was ask if I could help in any way, but since these people were heavyweights in the firm, and could probably nix my chance of ever making partner, I walked into their office and offered to help. There went my sleep for the night.
5:00am—I was jittery from being over-caffeinated, and under zzz’ed. Dragging myself to the elevator, I ran into my dinner date.
“What are you still doing here?” he asked. “I thought you left a long time ago.”
“The big-three asked me to help. Why are you still here?”
“Our deal almost fell through. I sat in a conference call for a couple of hours, then had to rewrite the contract and get it sealed. That’s why I couldn’t come out and say good-bye. I was going to send you a text just now. Did they give you the day off?”
I laughed. “Yeah, right. A lowly peon in this massive firm given a day off? Nope. I was told to go home, do what I needed to do, then be back here by nine.”
“Can I give you a lift home? I have the company car and driver.”
“That sounds fantastic. I wasn’t sure how I was getting home with my eyes closed.”
“Come on, sleepy-head. Let’s get you home.”
A roar of Harley pipes jerked me awake. Disoriented, my eyes opened to the backseat of a car. My head felt the cushion of someone’s thigh, and a dark suit jacket covered my sleeveless arms. It smelled faintly of Donovan’s cologne. I popped up looking disheveled and knew something wasn’t right in my world.
“You okay?” Donovan asked, chuckling. “You were dead to the world the moment we got in the car.” He tried to tame my unruly hair. “We’re at your house.”
“Home, right.”
I heard the roar again and knew something was seriously wrong.
As I stepped out, I saw my brother, in the midst of saying good-bye to his wife, looking our way with a gleam of mischief in his eyes. However, Emily looked down right terrified for me. I knew what was behind me. Better yet, I knew who was behind me. I turned to face the music and saw Max putting his helmet back on, covering the hurt and angry look in his eyes.
No‼!
“Max! Max!” The more I yelled, the harder he stepped on the gas pedal to drown out my voice.
To hell in a handbasket, on the express train…
Dec. 24, 2012 Movie Title—Unintentional Walk of Shame
What happened this morning was straight out of a movie script.
EXTERIOR. MY STREET—MISSION BLVD.—5:30A.M.
The scene opens with the main character Girl (me) yelling frantically and making a mad dash to the Harley Davidson sitting in front of her house. Main character Boy (Max) totally ignores the Girl’s pleas, takes the bike off the kickstand, and begins to ride off into the sunrise. 2nd, and very minor in importance, Girl (Emily) pulls away from her husband and starts chasing down the Boy. When 2nd and minor part Girl (Emily) trips on a bump in the sidewalk and does a quasi face plant, her husband runs to save her. With Hollywood special effects in play, the Boy is the first one there, picking up his ex-girlfriend and minor character Girl (Emily) and tenderly checks the wounds on her hand. Minor character Girl usurps the starring role, and has both men wanting to take care of her. The husband is not a happy camper. Not only is his wife hurt, but the ex-boyfriend is also the first one on the scene to take care of his wife. He growls at both the Boy and the Girl and takes his wife into their house. The Girl, too, isn’t happy with the way the minor character Girl stops the Boy’s life with her every hiccup and usurps the starring role. BUT, she is grateful for the chance to make everything right with the Boy.
THE GIRL
(pissed off)
Let’s talk!
Boy follows.
DONOVAN
Jane, you need a ride back to work? You want me to pick you up in a few hours?
Girl forgot that her “overnight” date was still there watching this circus act.
THE BOY
(angry, territorial, resolute)
No!
Donovan chuckles and cruises right up to the Girl. Girl is a
bit freaked out—no, she’s more than a bit freaked out.
DONOVAN
(whispers the words, then pulls the GIRL in for a chaste kiss on the forehead)
If you need me, don’t hesitate to call, okay?
The Boy gives a f*** off look and pulls the Girl away.
INTERIOR. GIRL’S BEDROOM—A FEW MINUTES AFTER 5:30AM
THE GIRL
What the hell was that with Emily?
THE BOY
(ANGRY! and hollering)
You spend the night with another man, he kisses you in front of me, and you’re the one mad?
THE GIRL
(also angry and yelling)
I beg you to stop so I can explain, but noooo that’s not enough. Then Emily has a tiny little fall and your life stops till all is right in her world. You got to her even before my brother, her husband, did.
THE BOY
(still yelling)
You drive me freakin’ insane!
The Boy grabs the Girl and pulls her into his body and kisses her—no, devours her—as if their life depends upon this kiss. His kiss is possessive…demanding…seductive…and the Girl matches him, lust for lust.
INTERIOR. THE BED—ANOTHER FEW MINUTES LATER
Just about all clothes are off and the Boy and the Girl struggle for dominance on the bed. The Boy allows the Girl to take the lead for a while until he roughly shows her who’s boss. Moans, Groans, Oohs, Aahs, happen until the phone rings…and rings…and rings…
The Boy
(annoyed, but answers the phone via speakerphone)
What is it?
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
(amused)
Everything okay over there?
THE BOY
(not as annoyed)
Your sister is in bed with me close to naked, and you’re interrupting. Draw your own conclusion, Dr. Reid.
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
(not as amused, grossed out)
Not funny, Davis! Get off her bed and get some clothes on. You, too, little sister or I’m calling Mom to do a bed check.
THE GIRL
Why are you bothering us?
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
Santa has come early for my Emi. Pack your stuff. We’re going to New York, Christmas morning.
THE GIRL
You found an apartment?
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
I did. I just reached a verbal agreement and will sign all the papers today.
THE BOY
How’s Em doing?
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
That’s none of your concern, but thanks for asking.
THE GIRL
I don’t know if I can go because of work.
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
Donovan is taking care of that for you. You’ll have Christmas to New Years off. Davis, you want to join us in New York for the holidays?
THE BOY / THE GIRL
(happily surprised)
Seriously?
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
(amused)
Yeah, if you get off her bed and promise never to give me any more details about your relationship, there’s a seat next to Jane with your name on it.
THE BOY
I can’t leave till a few days after Christmas, but I’d like to join you and your family. Thanks, Jake.
THE MINOR GIRL’S HUSBAND
Don’t ever say I never did anything for you two. Sis, I’ll call you later with more details and your to-do list.
THE GIRL
(so grateful that the to-do list doesn’t bother her)
Bye and thank you…
INTERIOR. STILL IN BED—LAYING IN EACH OTHER’S ARMS—MAYBE HALF HOUR LATER
THE BOY
You still owe me an explanation as to why you spent the night with another man.
THE GIRL
I didn’t spend the night with Donovan. I worked the whole night, and Donovan gave me a ride home because he had the company car and driver.
THE BOY
(sounding insecure)
You mean to tell me that kiss meant nothing to him…or to you?
THE GIRL
(reassuring and repositioning herself to sprawl on top of the Boy)
Donovan is Jake’s best friend since childhood and he’s known me since I was born. He asked me out to a Laker game yesterday and I accepted because…
THE BOY
I’m listening.
THE GIRL
Because…
1. He’s a good friend and I enjoy his company.
2. I used to have the biggest crush on him when I was little.
3. I didn’t know where we stood, after the whole Santa Barbara fiasco, and it felt good to be wanted by somebody.
Was that honest enough for you?
Boy looks tenderly at the Girl and kisses her lovingly.
THE BOY
(looking into her eyes with conviction)
You don’t need anyone else to want you because I want you. You and I are going to make this work. You understand me, Jane Reid?
(next, sounding very alpha-male)
Bring on all the Donovans in the world. I am not going to lose you again. You are mine from today on. It drove me nuts to give you that year away from us. From now on, we are going to figure life out together. You got it?
The Girl looks upon the Boy somewhat uncertain but dazzled, nonetheless.
THE BOY
My Jane, you are the kindle to my fire, the spark to my flame, the burning sun that starts my day. My life was miserable when you went back to New York. Let’s start fresh. Forget Joyce, forget Donovan—it’s just you and me, baby. All right?
THE GIRL
(about to cry)
All right.
After making out a bit longer, the Girl realizes she has to get back to work. The Boy gives her a ride on the Harley and they plan to meet for dinner—their first date as a newfound couple.
FADE OUT!
Dec. 25, 2012 Merry Christmas
My Precious Jane,
You light me up with your smile
Your fiery spirit brings new meaning to life
Just being with you gives me hope
(Truly) I would not wish any companion in the world but you
(the first three lines plus Truly—me; the fourth line—Shakespeare)
This crazy heartfelt (and slightly funny) card, sitting atop a Christmas present, waited for me on my seat on the airplane.
This morning, the Reid family had an out-of-control, over-the-top, Christmas at my brother’s house. The twins got presents from EVERY member of the Reid clan. Not only did my aunts and uncles indulge these almost nine-month-olds, each one of my cousins came bearing gifts. The most hysterical part about all these gifts—the twins had no interest in any of them except for the nesting boxes that their favorite aunt, yours truly, bought for them. Nick and I stacked them up, James and Elizabeth knocked them down, and then the cackles ensued. The entire family was mesmerized with their laugh. I had to admit, there was something magical about watching little bodies practically fall back in glee. It made me feel warm and fuzzy as well.
After the fastest clean-up known to man and a chauffeur-driven ride to the airport, Mom, Dad, Uncle Henry, Jake, Emily and the twins were ensconced in first class, Nick and I sat in business class, Doug and Laney sat in coach. Nick and I would have sat right next to Doug and Laney if it hadn’t been for all the miles I’d accrued flying back and forth from the New York office to the LA one. Lucky Nick—this upgrade was my Christmas present to him.