by DW Cee
“That’s up to you. Figure out how you’re going to get him to his room. You can’t give him everything he asks for or we’re going to have problems.”
“What are you talking about, Mommy?” Ollie perked up from my lap.
“Daddy and I were saying that as of tomorrow, you will have a new room and a new bed so that is where you are to sleep from now on.”
“No, I don’t want to. I’ve never slept with Daddy before. I want to sleep next to him.” Our clever son hopped over to Jamie, sat on his lap and looked at him with his big loving eyes. “Please, Daddy? Can I sleep with you?”
By the look on my husband’s face, Oliver had won the argument already.
“Okay, Ollie. How about we make a deal? I’ll let you sleep with us for one week but after that you need to start sleeping back in your room.”
“No.” The tears fell and immediately. Jamie cowered and let him sleep with us for the rest of the month.
“What do I do now?” Jamie whispered again.
I answered back, “You sleep with Ollie while I go sleep in his room.”
“Olivia!” Jamie whined.
Kissing him again, I told him, “Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out. This is my fault. I used to sleep with Ollie whenever I missed you – which was a lot. He’s used to snuggling with me.”
“Yeah! I’m used to snuggling with Mommy!” our son exclaimed.
Our family as a whole laughed together.
Back at our new home Ollie insisted we all get into bed together. We laid down, Ollie in the middle and both of us facing our son. He rolled from one side to the other taking turns snuggling with each parent.
“I love you, Mommy.” He came over to me first and kissed me on the lips.
“Ollie. It’s thanks to you that Mommy has learned to love again. I wouldn’t be here today without you.” I explained my heart to him though he had no clue what I had just uttered.
Then he rolled over to his father. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Daddy loves you too, Oliver. It’s thanks to you, Mommy is back in my life again. I’m so glad we became a family.”
It didn’t take much longer for Ollie to conk out and even snore. Jamie and I were both grateful for the privacy.
“I can fold out the sofa in my office and we can go in there.” My husband had already pulled me off the bed.
He carried me to the office and we both pulled out the full size bed hidden under the couch.
“This feels like a dream to have you here in bed with me.” Jamie spoke these words but it echoed both our feelings.
I pulled closer to my husband as he began confessing his last six years to me after we had sealed our wedding night. “Tell me where you and Ollie have been all these years and what you have been doing. I also want to hear everything about Ollie and what he was like growing up.”
“As you know, Dani and I left for Africa and stayed with Paul’s parents after I heard you and Matt talking in the nursery the day of your dad’s barbeque. I struggled those two months without you. Even with Joe, Lydia, Dani and Ian, I knew a big part of me was incomplete. I’m sorry I didn’t call you during that time. I just wanted to try and stay away and see if a separation would work for the both of us.”
“It was all my fault, Liv.”
I shook my head, no. “It wasn’t your fault. It was really no one’s fault. I can still picture that day at your parents’ house when you were holding your niece and telling Matt how much you wanted kids. In my heart I believed that me staying away from you was the only contribution I could make to your happiness.”
“Once I realized you were gone, I went on a frantic search for you. At first I didn’t know what had possessed you to leave without saying a word to me. Then Melissa told me she saw you looking into the nursery and that’s when I put it all together. I don’t know how much you heard but obviously you didn’t hear the whole conversation.”
“That part where you said I’d be a burden…” It tore me apart again to think of that day and many years that followed.
“If you’d have stayed a bit longer you would have heard me tell Matt that you were worth a lifetime of burdens Mom would lay on me. You didn’t stay for the best part of the conversation. It never pays to eavesdrop.”
“Sorry,” I whispered. “But you weren’t exactly the welcoming wagon when I came back. After Dani got settled in college I couldn’t stay away any longer. I had to see you. So I got up the courage to get on a plane and come to your doorstep and you slammed the door in my face after a few choice words. Obviously, at that point, you didn’t consider me worth a lifetime of burdens,” I accused, light-heartedly.
“God, if only I’d reigned in my temper that night we could’ve been married eons ago and I would’ve been there for Ollie all these years.”
“Yeah,” I accused, again, with a slap on his chest.
“That fateful day, I’d had a row with my mom who was at my apartment up until five minutes before you showed up. She brought Melinda with her and they both tried to convince me to let go of you and get back together with Melinda. After arguing with them for what seemed like hours, they left and when the doorbell rang again, I was irritated – no belligerent would be a better word – before I even opened the door. You happened upon me at the worst time possible.”
“Yeah, I could tell.” I did my best to control the tears before continuing. “The tenuous hold I had on my heart fell apart again when you told me you were sick of my games. I knew I’d ruined any chance of us getting back together so I left for my mom’s again to try and figure out what to do with myself.”
“Liv, please forgive me. I was sick to my stomach when you left again. I went to your house, then begged Meghan and George for your information but they kept telling me they had no idea where you were.”
“Please don’t be mad at Meghan and George. They weren’t lying to you. I hadn’t kept in touch with them for that purpose.”
“So tell me what happened when you came back to tell me about being pregnant.”
“My mother realized even before I did that I was pregnant and as soon as it was confirmed, I flew back to LA to tell you. I had a wedding, a nursery, a home and a happily-ever-after, all dreamed up on the six-hour flight back to you. I was over the moon and I knew you would be too with the news of our child.”
Jamie fell onto his back from our side-to-side position and yelled, “Aargh!” just loud enough not to awaken Ollie. “I should’ve been there!”
“It’s all in the past.” I tried to sooth his anger. “I’m only telling you all this to get it out in the open once and for all. We never need to discuss this again.”
After a long silence he agreed. “Okay. Let’s continue.”
“I got to your apartment and Melinda answered the door. It looked as though she and Rose were packing up your stuff.”
“They came by without my knowledge to persuade me not to move away. The packing was all me. Melinda wasn’t there to pack for me, leave with me, or to have a child with me!” He was irritated again.
“At this point, it’s a bit of a blur because I was in such shock to see them at your place. I’m not sure who said what, but the gist of the one-sided conversation was, I should disappear for life because you and Melinda were getting married and having a child.”
“Aargh!” He yelled again, a little louder this time. “I probably came home soon after you left and neither mom nor Melinda told me you had stopped by.” Now he had his hand on his head and started pulling on his hair.”
“I stayed in LA for a little bit and locked up the house. Then I left for Africa to have Ollie.”
“How does Dani fit in during this time? She told me she stopped talking to you because of me. What happened there?”
“After what she saw of my pitiful state when we first got to Africa, she was angry with you. Then when I found out about Ollie, I told her I needed to talk to you and she was livid. She swore she would never talk to me again if I tried to reconcile. I didn’t think she
was going to follow through, and because she was so mad, I didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell her about the baby.”
“But she did follow through?”
“Yeah…” I couldn’t help but cry again. “She refused to see me or talk to me for almost two years. She was that angry.”
“You were pregnant and all alone…how can I possibly make this up to you?”
“I wasn’t all alone. My mother was my mental support from afar, my in-laws were my physical support in Africa, and Sheila was my emotional support. Ollie and I had a wonderful network of family members who loved us and took care of us. Also, Ian kept me updated on Dani’s life so I knew it was just a matter of time until she came around.”
“Paul’s family’s took care of what should have been my responsibility. I missed out on taking care of you and Ollie. But I’m grateful to them for their help.” The guilt on my husband’s face nearly made me cry again.
With a smile I answered, “you can take care of us the rest of your life. I’ll make it my mission to remind you of your responsibility.”
He kissed me soundly.
“Though it took two years, Dani eventually came around and walked in on me and Ollie at the dinner table. Since I didn’t know how she would react to Ollie being your child, I stupidly told her that Ollie was adopted.” Jamie looked at me oddly. “Truly, I was scared she would leave me again and I didn’t want to take that chance so I lied.”
“What did Dani say when she figured out Ollie was ours?”
“She blamed herself for everything. She loves Ollie and she’s happy to see me find happiness. Everything is back in its rightful place.”
“Paul’s family all know about Ollie?”
“Oh yes. They all adore Ollie. They treat him as though he’s a Kingston.”
“Please tell the Kingston family that I am deeply in their debt.”
“You can tell them yourself when you meet them.”
“I will.” Jamie turned contemplative again.
“What’s wrong, Jamie?”
“Can you tell me about Ollie as a baby now?”
“Ollie was always a happy child. He went to bed happy and woke up even happier. He rarely gave me a hard time with temper tantrums or melt downs.” This revelation brought a smile to Jamie’s face.
“During the early years, my mom took your place as a father and Ollie was content. Within the last year, he started asking about you, where you were, and why he was the only one in preschool without a father. Our happy go lucky child learned about sadness when I couldn’t answer his questions.”
Jamie’s eyes teared again. My husband had already learned what it meant to love his child more than himself. I kissed his eyes. “Luckily we ran into you at the park as Ollie’s questions became more frequent and soon Ollie got his wish.”
“It was bizarre how taken in I was with Ollie from the day I met him. I thought about you a lot but I really couldn’t take my mind off Ollie.”
“Jamie, he’s your son. I think you both called out to one another.”
My husband turned over with a look of desire in his eyes again. “Do you think we can have another child?”
“Jamie! I’m 45 years old. Are you crazy?”
“It’s not unheard of…” My husband dreamed.
“Mommy! Daddy!” Ollie yelled. “Where are you?”
We got up from our bed and laughed with the knowledge that with Ollie between us in bed every night, a second child would be out of the question.
OLIVIA 2012 EPILOGUE
Paul...do you see your beautiful granddaughter cackling away on the baby swing? Doesn't she look just like Dani? She's six months old today and I think she's even more beautiful than Dani was at that age. Dani and Ian are still in England and they'll soon move to Italy. I think they'll be in Europe for four more years. Then, hopefully, they'll come live near us.
Dani is so happy! Ian mellows her out and even with a colicky baby, they seem to manage life well. They're here on vacation and will stay with our family for a week, then go see Ian's family for another week, and then they'll go home. Mom and I will, of course, help them move when the time comes.
Speaking of Mom, you'll be shocked to hear...she's finally dating someone. He's a retired airline pilot and he takes Mom on these impromptu, fabulous trips. She's been just about around the world in the past year, thanks to her new boyfriend. I'm thrilled that she's found a life for herself. Of course, she's still a great help to me.
Your parents have finally decided to retire! They are coming back to their and our old house in Los Angeles. In the past two years, they've stayed at Dani's for a while, Mike and Sheila's for a while and most recently, they've also stayed with our family. Jamie, Ollie and even JJ (short for Jamie Jr.) enjoyed having them in New York.
Your nieces have all grown into beautiful young ladies. All three girls are married and they live in the same neighborhood as your brother and sister-in-law. We celebrated Christmas with them last year when Mom and Dad were in town. Mike and Sheila bought a teeny-tiny hut on the Big Island of Hawaii. It's actually a condo, but it's so small, we all called it a hut. When your brother and sister-in-law are not busy caring for their three grandkids, they lounge around in paradise.
Last, but not least, Jamie and I are deliriously happy about the newest addition to our family. Can you believe that God gave me, a 47 year-old woman, another child? Every night when Jamie comes home, his time is monopolized between his firstborn and his newborn. Ollie, who is in 2nd grade now, adores his little brother. He tries to play with him but usually ends up making JJ cry. Since both boys go to bed early, I get a bit of a reprieve before it's feeding time again. Lucky for me, Jamie gets up for many of the late-night feedings. Because he feels as though he's missed out on Ollie's early years, he's extra attentive to JJ. The four of us have settled very nicely in New York, and Jamie and his best friend Seth, have set up a small CPA firm.
Oh, speaking of CPA firms - George and Meghan are moving out here with the twins! George decided to become the third partner to Jamie and Seth's firm, so now we will all be neighbors, again. You should see how grown up the twins are. They are in elementary school and the "smartest ones in their class," according to George.
Jamie has been as wonderful a husband as you were when we were together. How lucky am I that God has so richly blessed me - rich in love, rich in children, and rich in husbands. Your death was almost the death of me, but I'm glad I hung on to experience Dani, Ian, and their growing family, my new family, and the rest of the Kingston/Maize/Hutchison families. I love you and miss you but am thankful to you for allowing me to have a new life - just as wonderful, just as beautiful.
Till we meet again, my love!
Thank you for reading my books. I hope you enjoyed them and I hope this is only the start of a lifelong Reidership between you and me. As always, you can reach me at:
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