by A Lonergan
I shook my head. “You did this to me. You hurt me. You changed me. Do you even know what consent means? You were a freaking creep after you hurt me.”
Rafe clenched his jaw and tilted his head from side to side. “There is so much more to this than you know. I did it to save you and as far as the pursuing part afterward… sometimes my wolf doesn’t get the social cues. All he wanted was to claim you, to take you, but that wasn’t right. As he’s calmed down, it’s been easier for me to make my own decisions. I told you that.”
My breathing grew rapid as I pulled my arms away from him and out of his grasp. How could he say that? I blinked a few times as it hit me. I remembered that night more clearly now and what my kidnappers had said. They had secured Rafe Crimson’s mate. Had everyone else known but me?
I narrowed my eyes at him as I took a dangerous step toward him. “Who knows?”
I watched his throat as he swallowed and I had this odd thought to rip it out. To wrap my jaw around his neck and tear it from his shoulders. I had seen it done enough times, what was one more? A growl rumbled up my throat. Everyone around us took a step back.
Rafe didn’t move a step which was an awful thing for him. Something animalistic took over my thoughts. Nalia was purring with delight over the fact that he had admitted what she had known since she had spotted his wolf but she was also ready to defend me. She felt the pain in my chest and was ready to act on it. She was ready to tear our mate apart.
Mate. The word echoed around my head.
“Everyone knows.”
I fought to keep control of my human form. I didn’t know what would happen if I let it slip. “How long?”
“Since Tracey found out she was a witch in the woods that night.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I told them all earlier that day. I needed them to know that it wasn’t a fruitless mission for someone that hadn’t even pledged to the pack. They would have fought for you before, but they will die for you now. Tracey knew since she met you.”
Betrayal was hot on my tongue. How could they all know? All of them but me? Was I broken? Was that why I had no idea that my mate was standing right in front of me? Weren’t there supposed to be signs?
All of the familiar faces around me blurred as I took off into the woods. Anything to get away from them. Anything to not see their faces or them see mine. They had all kept it from me out of respect for their Alpha but what about respect for their friend? Their shouts followed me until Nalia ripped through my skin and we were running as one again.
Chapter 58
Rafe
Everything I had planned was for nothing. I had wanted to ease her into it. I had wanted to wait and date her like I knew her human side needed. But now it was all for nothing. I would never forget the look of horror that had gone over her face. She would hate me for this. She would never forgive me. I laced my fingers behind the back of my neck and took a deep breath.
“She will be okay,” Tracey patted my shoulder. What was supposed to be a good day and a great reunion had turned into a shit show.
“No, she won’t be, she will never forgive me.” I closed my eyes before I whipped around and stalked Lucas. I pointed my finger at him. “This is your fault.”
“You have no idea what we went through in there. None at all. If you do something to me, then you’re right, she won’t ever forgive you. You haven’t claimed her and because of that, she can walk away without pain and your wolf will go insane.” Lucas pinned me with a hateful glare. “What else was I supposed to do? She would have hated me just as much if she had known I was keeping it from her too. I owe her everything. She was the only thing that gave me hope inside that hell.”
I gulped. He was right. He didn’t owe any of us anything. I now had to deal with the consequences of my actions. This wasn’t Lucas’s fault. It was mine. I should have been honest from the start and maybe all of this wouldn’t have happened.
Chapter 59
Jade
My body shook from fatigue as Nalia disappeared into the back of my mind again. I leaned against the door of my cottage and thankfully, it was unlocked. The door opened easily as I walked to the bathroom in-between both bedrooms. My naked body was covered in mud and leaves. I had had better days. Or better nights, judging by the sun rising now. Lucas snored from the guest bedroom and I was happy to have him here, even if he was the one that opened the can of worms. He had left the door open which gave me a comforting feeling I wasn’t prepared for.
The shower was hot enough to distract me for a moment. But then it went cold and I was left with a numbness deep inside of my chest. What did I do now? I couldn’t possibly go back to Rafe’s house. We were mates. I had only touched the surface of what that meant. That was why Damian had wanted me. That was why he had marked me. He had known all along.
I pressed the white towel into my face and let out a silent sob. My shoulders shook with the force of it. My hands trembled as I wrapped a pink robe around my shoulders. I flipped my hair over to wrap the towel around my head. When I stood back up and opened the door Lucas was on the other side. He leaned against the wall and when he saw my face, his shoulders slumped.
“I didn’t know what else to do. He had to be the one to say it.” I opened my arms and he stepped into my hug immediately. He ran his hand down my back in a soothing manner. “I’m so sorry.”
“There isn’t anything to be sorry about, these are the things that I should have been preparing myself for. Damian kept bringing up me having a mate and I just didn’t believe it or maybe, I didn’t want to accept it. I don’t know, either way, it is what it is.”
Lucas pushed me out to arm’s length. “You are the strongest person I know. If anyone can get through this, it’s you. It’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it. Okay?”
I managed to crack a smile. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”
Lucas smiled back. “Because it’s the truth?”
“How does it feel to be accepted back into the fold?” Maybe I could take the focus off of myself for a bit. I was tired of thinking so hard. I needed a break.
Lucas’s responding grin was radiant. It lit up his entire face. “The best feeling in the entire world.”
Even though Tracey had invested in the best black-out curtains, I still couldn’t sleep. The sun was high in the sky and it was like my body knew it. No matter what I did, sleep didn’t take me. I rolled over and kicked the covers a few times before I slammed the bedroom door open then marched to the kitchen.
Lucas was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee and Mav was sitting on the broken couch. He immediately hopped up to wrap me in a giant hug. My body relaxed and I smiled up at him.
“I missed you, friend.”
“I missed you too, Mav.” I patted his huge shoulder and he released me. I wrinkled my nose at the coffee but dug around in the fridge for a yogurt. Judging by the grocery bags on the counter, Mav had gone grocery shopping for us. The fridge was pretty bare but it was the thought that counted. The yogurt tasted like nothing as I swallowed it down quickly. I couldn’t focus on even tasting the food, my mind was too turbulent. How the heck was I going to go around the pack with all of this out in the open? How had I been so stupid?
Maybe I needed to go back home. I was stewing over that thought when Mav sat on the counter. His huge frame looked squashed up there. “What are you thinking so hard on?”
“I’m thinking I might need to go home.” I nodded my head to myself. It made sense. “I can control my shifts now. I don’t need to be here to protect my family.”
Mav’s face fell. “You don’t want to be a part of this pack?”
“This pack is now my family, but I’m worried about how I am supposed to process everything that keeps happening to me. My control has been taken over and over again. I feel like I’m going insane. A change of pace might be nice.”
“And if you have to move back to the pack, it’ll be that much harder to do so.” Mav shrugged and I winced. His shoul
ders looked like they were ready to go a round with my cabinets.
I held my hands out with my palms up. “You should probably get down before you destroy the cabinets Tracey worked so hard on.”
Lucas picked his head up from the book in his hands. “Speaking of, where is my sister?”
Mav hopped off of the counter and winced. “She’s keeping Rafe busy so he doesn’t come barreling in here to claim you.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Great, just great.”
Lucas chuckled as he took a sip out of his mug. “Now that you know it’s going to be harder for his wolf to not do something irrational.”
“Do any of you know why he changed me against my will? You all know I’m his mate but couldn’t I have been his mate while I was human?” I shook my head. None of this made sense. Just when I thought I was finally understanding the wolf dynamic/world, I was thrown for another loop.
Mav held his hands up in surrender. “I think the only one that knows is Tracey but good luck getting that out of her.”
Chapter 60
Rafe
Ford cast his fishing pole again and the line went soaring through the sky before it slapped the top of the water. Tracey sat behind us with a bottle of nail polish and a beer. She said it was more for the taste than anything. I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t understand why anyone craved the taste of beer, but there were worse things to crave.
I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets and sighed. Ford looked at me over his shoulder. “You’re thinking on it too hard.”
“What do you know about any of this?” I smirked.
“I listen to mom a lot,” Ford yanked on the pole and the line skipped a bit on the water. “She said she hopes that I treat my future mate with respect.”
Tracey snorted behind us.
Ford ignored her. “She was really anxious when she heard about you changing Jade against her will. We had many conversations after that about what not to do when it comes to your mate. I bet if you sat down to talk to mom about it, you’d learn a lot. You just have to take your head out of your butt first.”
I couldn’t even help but laugh. Tracey fell into a fit of giggles. “Mother does know best.”
“When will you let me talk to her?” Tracey was guarding her friend with her life. If I wanted any chance at speaking to my mate, I would have to go through her.
“When you can be honest and upfront about everything.”
I rolled my eyes. “You weren’t honest and upfront.”
“It wasn’t my secret to tell and neither are the details. You are all hell-bent on redeeming yourself. You need to start there.”
Chapter 61
Jade
Granny was waiting for me in her cottage. I didn’t care what Rafe had said, I needed to get this damned scar off of me and I knew the only way to do that was with magic. My boots left little indentions in the snow that Lucas followed in. I closed the door to keep the cold out. Lucas looked like he was enjoying taking his time. I wasn’t going to force him to hurry for my benefit.
Carden was in the kitchen stirring something in a pot with a little blonde girl. She was talking animatedly with her hands. He said something too low for me to hear. I could have strained with my wolf senses, but I figured it was none of my business. They both laughed. The little girl flicked her hair over her shoulder and I got a peek of the side of her face. My heart stopped. Bee’s daughter. She was here.
Of course she was here.
“She’s a very gifted child. I don’t think there are any with magic like hers out there.” Granny said from behind me. “I am teaching her everything I know but eventually, I will have to send her to a coven. I have tried to reach out to a few but none of them want her. They said Bee was an abnormal child herself and they don’t want that kind of vibe back in their covens. Poor Valentina will probably never know a family like her.”
“Does she have to go to a coven?” Granny didn’t have one. Maybe the child didn’t need one either.
“No, Valentina doesn’t need a coven but she might seek the family and bond that a coven brings. I know sometimes I miss it.” Granny looked at me before she changed the subject and walked into the living area. “What can I do for you, Jade?”
“I would like you to magically remove my scar, please.”
Granny’s neck went taut at my suggestion. “I wish I could. But I don’t think it’s going to be possible. Damian used powerful magic, magic that isn’t even in my jurisdiction. I could research but the archives have been closed since Damian has made such a public stance. The witches and their covens aren’t looking to share their pool of knowledge with anyone unless they are from a coven. Outsiders aren’t allowed.”
I sighed. I had known it was a possibility that she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. But still, I had gotten my hopes up a tad. I didn’t want to look at the ugly thing every day.
“Scars are apart of us, Jade. I know you don’t like the way they look but they shape us into who we are. They hold powerful magic and yours probably holds more magic than any others because of who put the scar on you. Don’t go about trying to get rid of it just yet. It might help us defeat the one who put it on you.”
Rafe was waiting outside of Granny’s home when I opened the door to leave. He was wearing a cable knit sweater and thick pants. A beanie was pulled down over his ears. He let out a breath and it formed a big cloud in front of his face.
“Hey,”
I didn’t want to ignore him but I also wasn’t ready to face him. “Hi,”
“I have to apologize.” I stopped at his words. “I know an apology just doesn’t offer much but I owe it all the same. I am so sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing when I did it. I didn’t know how to even tell you after the fact. When I found out you were my mate, my life changed. It stopped. I had a purpose. I had Tracey find out everything there was to know about you.”
Just another lie. I knew our friendship wasn’t based on truths but this made it worse. I turned away from him and began to walk away. I couldn’t handle the truth. I had wanted it and now I didn’t know if I could even do anything with it.
“I was horrified that my wolf would choose a human. A weak little thing like you. This girl that danced and partied. A naive girl that had no idea that monsters were stalking her mere existence.” He followed behind me as he spoke. “And you didn’t know life. You had no idea of a world that could give you so much. I had so much to offer. But you were a human. I could have broken you with a kiss. I could have crushed you. I didn’t want to care for you. Not for one single second did I want you as my mate.”
I whirled around then with murder in my eyes. “Then why do it? You could have left me alone. You could have walked away. You could have gone about your business.”
“But then you caught the eye of a serial rapist.” I blinked and came to a stop. “And I killed him. I saw what he had done to a girl at the previous party you have been to. I ripped him a part knowing that he would have done the same to you if I had walked away.”
I should have been horrified. I should have run away from him but I didn’t. I stayed right there as the snow fell from the sky and coated my lashes.
“I don’t regret it either, Jade.” He took a step closer to me. “I realized that night in the woods as you had to walk away from us. As you saved others. I realized that night that I would have damned the whole world if it meant you were safe but you wanted to keep the world safe. So I had to be good, I had to redeem myself. I had to try for your sake and I’ve been trying every day.”
“All because destiny told you we were meant to be together?”
He threw his head back and looked up at the cloud-filled sky. “No, because I got to know you and your heart.” He poked my chest gently. “You’re stubborn. Gosh, you’re so headstrong and it’s not good for you or me. But the thing that really got me? How courageous you are. You weren’t born into this life but somehow you grabbed it by the horns and you keep riding. You have been kic
ked and beaten down but not once have you given up.”
“That’s not true,” My voice broke. “I did try to when Micah was helping me escape. I wanted to stay behind.”
Rafe took a step closer and we were almost touching now. “Probably because you were trying to protect others over yourself.”
I nodded. He was right.
He cupped my cheek in his hand. “I will set the world on fire and watch it burn if it means keeping you safe.”
My heart stopped inside my chest as he leaned forward. His breath tickled my face and the scent of whiskey wrapped around me. I breathed it in deeply like my life depended on it. When his lips touched mine, all bets were off. I threw my arms around his neck and he pressed my back into the nearest tree. I could taste the truth on his tongue. He would do anything for me and I had no idea what I had done to deserve such loyalty from any man. His fingers tangled in my hair and a growl rumbled through his chest. He pulled away from me and I let out a mewling sound in the back of my throat.
He grinned. “There’s no way in hell I’m claiming you up against a tree.”
Knox popped his head from between the trees with a shit-eating grin. “So, when can we do karaoke again?” He scratched his chin before he spoke again. “Oh and Damian is killing witches?”
We pulled away from each other. Rafe growled. “You couldn’t have started it off with that?”
Knox shrugged. “It was a burning question in my head.”
I held my hands up. “How do you know?”
Knox rolled his eyes. “The kids are exploding in bright magical light. Their parent’s power is getting transferred to them. At least that’s what Tracey thinks.”
Rafe and I looked at each other. “Shit.”