Alix & Valerie

by Ingrid Diaz

  “Are you blushing?” I asked in wonder, trying not to laugh, but unable to keep from grinning. I leaned forward to brush the hair from her face so that I could see her better. “Your wish is my command,” I whispered softly.

  She raised her head. “What?”

  “Yep. I just have one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  I grinned. “If you’re gonna draw me in the nude, then you’re gonna draw me in the nude.”

  Valerie arched an eyebrow, not understanding my meaning. Then she got it. She opened her mouth to reply but then shut it again and frowned at me. “What if I let you wear a scarf?”

  “Then you can wear a scarf,” I replied, laughing.

  “Damn.” She started crawling toward me, forcing me to lie back. “You’re not going to make things easy for me, are you?” she said, straddling me.

  I put my hands behind my head as I lay back on the pillow and smiled up at her. “Never.”

  “What if I tickle you?”

  I stared at her. “You wouldn’t.”

  She would.

  Chapter 18

  Somehow, I managed to get up for class Monday morning and even met Jade for our bi-weekly pre-World Literature breakfast. I was quite impressed with myself actually, seeing as I’d only gotten about three hours of sleep.

  “You look like bloody hell,” Jade informed me as she cut her bagel in half and took a big bite. Her hazel eyes darted around the student center as she chewed, then her gaze landed back on my face.

  Instead of responding, I stared down at my own bagel and contemplated eating it. I wasn’t sure I had enough energy to pick it up, let alone cut it and smear cream cheese on it. Perhaps it was a better idea just to sit there. Although, I was hungry. “Jade, would you cut my bagel and put cream cheese on it?”

  “You’re joking, right?”

  Yawning, I mumbled, “I’m too tired to do it myself.”

  Jade shook her head and grabbed my bagel. “Well, maybe if you hadn’t spent all night doing the humpty dumpty with a certain someone, you wouldn’t be quite so tired.”

  “We were playing Monopoly,” I replied, a bit defensively.

  Jade smirked and placed the now cream cheese covered bagel back on my tray. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

  “Hey, if I recall correctly it wasn’t me getting all frisky at the bowling alley.” I grabbed one half of the bagel and took a bite.

  She grinned. “He’s pretty cute, huh?”

  “Um. Sure.” I took a sip of orange juice. “What the hell was up with his sideburns? I kept wanting to call him Elvis all night.”

  Jade leaned over the table to flick me on the forehead.

  “Ouch!” I cried, rubbing my now stinging flesh. “Jeez, Jade, can’t you come up with a more painless method of expressing your disapproval? A dirty look will convey the same message.”

  “Yes, but it’s not as fulfilling,” Jade replied. “I think the sideburns are cute.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Hey, before I forget, do you want to go to the mall with me after classes today?”

  “What for?”

  “I wanted to get Valerie something,” I said. Then I paused. “Do you think that’s too corny?”

  Jade nodded.

  “Hmm. Well, we could just go see what they have. Maybe buy a CD or something.”

  “Sure, whatever. Beats going home to deal with my aunt. Remember Hawaii?”

  “Far too clearly.”

  She nodded, then proceeded. “Well, now she thinks she’s in a nudist colony in the south of France.”

  “Eww! Jade! Not while I’m eating.”

  “Hey, I’m the one that has to live there,” she countered, shuddering. “I really need to move out.”

  “Why don’t you?”

  Jade shrugged, not looking at me. “I don’t want to leave her alone there. I mean, she needs someone to take care of her and I don’t want her getting put in an asylum or something. I know she’s nuts, but she deserves better than that.”

  “You should really get her some help, though, Jade. It’s only going to get worse otherwise.”

  She nodded, but said nothing.

  Sensing we were getting into dangerous territory, I decided to change the subject. “So, what did you and Mr. 70’s do after steaming up the bowling alley?”

  “We played Monopoly,” she said with a wink.

  Laughing, I said, “And you called me a whore.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “It was the sideburns. I couldn’t resist.” She shrugged. “But he has the tiniest dick I’ve ever seen.”

  I choked on the piece of bagel I’d just stuck in my mouth. I made a grab for the orange juice.

  “You all right?” Jade asked after a second.

  “Fine,” I croaked, still coughing. When I managed to get the coughs under control, I asked, “So are you going out with him again?”

  She nodded and said, “Of course. I mean, he’s a nice guy. Plus, he seemed really at home with my lopsided boobs.”

  This time, I choked on the orange juice.

  Ò

  “Check it out, Al,” Jade called. “Jessica’s on the cover of People again.”

  We’d been at the mall for over an hour, and most of it had been spent at the bookstore waiting for Jade to decide what books to buy.

  Jade held the front of the magazine so I could see.

  I put the comic book back in its bag and quickly grabbed the People Magazine from Jade. The picture of Jessica was from the wedding. It was of Jessica and Mathew walking out of the church after the ceremony. “Yeah,” I said, flipping to the part about Jessica. “I remember them being at the wedding. Jessica let them take a few pictures.”

  “Is there an article?” Jade asked, walking behind me so she could look over my shoulder.

  I nodded, finding the spot. “Four pages worth. Are there any more magazines with her on there? I keep forgetting to check for these things.”

  “And as Jessica Heart’s number one fan you must have everything, right?” Jade joked, looking through the different entertainment magazines for any more articles.

  “Why yes! I buy all of the Heart Corporation products and I even got her autograph once.”

  “Entertainment Weekly’s got her too,” Jade said, handing the magazine over.

  I flipped through that issue and then shrieked when I saw that I’d made it into one of the pictures. Granted, I was way in the background, but it was still me. “With luck, a talent scout will spot my picture and go out to find me. This could be my big break. Someday, when they do me on Before They Were Stars, this picture will be among all the other embarrassing ones they manage to dig up of me.”

  Jade shook her head. “I still don’t see why you don’t use Jessica to land yourself on TV. She could set you up in two seconds.”

  “First of all, I do not use my friends. Secondly, Alix Morris is no cheater. And C, when Jay Leno interviews me one day and asks me how I got my first big break I would rather say that a talent scout spotted me on the background of a picture on Entertainment Weekly, than tell him that my very rich best friend made a few phone calls and hooked me up.”

  “Suit yourself,” Jade responded, handing me a few more magazines with Jessica in them. “But when you turn eighty and realize that the highlight of your career was waitressing at a dinner theater, don’t come crying to me.”

  “I appreciate your faith in me.”

  “No problem.” Jade nodded to the other side of the bookstore. “Let’s go look at the sci-fi section.”

  She started in that direction and I followed closely behind, carrying the stack of magazines. I was still trying to come up with something to buy Valerie. She seemed to like silver, so maybe I’d check out the jewelry store after we finished with Jade’s reading materials. Valerie worked mornings on Mondays, so I was thinking I’d pick up some McDonald’s and surprise her at her apartment. I nodded to myself, thinking that was a good idea. I was getting the hang of this rel
ationship thing.

  A hand touched my arm, and I jumped, dropping all the magazines in the process. Then I looked up into a pair of apologetic brown eyes.

  “Sorry,” Zack Woods said, kneeling down to pick up the items.

  “Zack, you scared me,” I said.

  My ex-boyfriend smiled. “I noticed.” He handed me back the magazines and stood up. “I always seem to run into you at bookstores.”

  “That may well be because you live at bookstores,” I replied. I hadn’t really talked to Zack in a long time. We’d been in a two week relationship in tenth grade that ended abruptly when the news of my feelings for Jessica were made public. Needless to say, he hadn’t taken it well. “I heard you’ve been playing babysitter to your niece.”

  Zack nodded. “Yeah. I love Alisha. I really wish Alex was around to see her grow up.”

  I bit my lip and looked down for a moment. For most of us, the subject of Alexander Woods had been filed into the “Memories Too Painful to Talk About” folder. He’d been Zack’s older brother, Roxanne’s boyfriend, Alisha’s father, and a very good friend. He died in a car accident a couple of years ago.

  Zack ran a hand through his light brown hair, pushing it away from his eyes. It was a gesture he made whenever he was thinking of something to say.

  Thankfully, Jade came to the rescue. “Hey, Zack,” she greeted. “Do you know where the World of Darkness books are? They switched this bloody place all around.”

  “Hmm. World of Darkness?” Zack asked. “Role-Playing books, right?” He turned and pointed behind him. “I think they moved them over there, but I’m not sure.”

  Jade patted his shoulder as she darted off in that direction. “Thanks.”

  Zack cleared his throat and turned back to me. “I really like your haircut. I saw you with it at Jessica’s wedding, but I didn’t get a chance to comment on it.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “It wasn’t really my idea, but I guess it’s all right.”

  “So I heard you were seeing someone.”

  “Ah, yeah I am.”

  He nodded. “That’s cool.” He paused uncomfortably for a moment. “Well, I should be going. It was nice seeing you again, Alix.”

  “Nice seeing you too, Zack.” I watched him walk away, then went in search of Jade. I found her on the floor, staring at a row of books. “Find what you were looking for?” I asked, sitting down beside her.

  “Yeah I did,” Jade told me without looking away from her precious books. “How’s Zack doing?”

  “Fine, I figure.”

  Jade glanced at me and smiled. “I still find it funny that after he dumped you for having the hots for Jessica, he ended up hooking up with her cousin.”

  I shrugged. “They’re still together so I guess they did a lot more than hook up.”

  “Yeah what is it with those Heart women?” Jade asked, shaking her head. “They’re gorgeous and yet they go for those nerdy type of guys.”

  “Unlike a certain fuzz-headed girl I know who has much better taste in men.”

  Jade faced me. “Yes, but I’m not gorgeous.”

  “Jade, you’re beautiful.”

  Jade held up her hand to stop me. “Let me break it down for you. Jessica and Roxanne are the gorgeous should-be models. I am the eccentric foreign exchange student from England. You are the untapped resource.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah, like if this were a teeny-bopper flick, you would be the chick who they make-over at the end and all the guys oooh and aaah at the incredible difference that a little make up and a dress can make. See, because underneath all those layers of baggy jeans and black Aerosmith tee shirts there is this supermodel just dying to come out.”

  I had no idea what she was talking about. “Where are you going with this?”

  Jade shrugged and turned back to the books she’d been looking at. “I’m not going anywhere with it. I’m just breaking it down for you. I was trying to explain why I can’t be beautiful.”

  “How does my being an ‘untapped resource’ make you not beautiful?”

  “It doesn’t. My being an eccentric foreign exchange student from England makes me not beautiful.”

  I stared at her. “You are such a freak.”

  Ò

  It took me about two hours to find the perfect gift for Valerie. I hadn’t found anything at the mall that called to me. I mean, I didn’t want to buy her something stupid just for the sake of buying her something. I wanted it to be special. Jade told me I was turning into a sentimental fool, but I didn’t care.

  After the mall, I drove around Baldwin in no particular direction, dragging a complaining Jade along for the ride. Eventually, I parked in front of a store whose sign advertised movie memorabilia.

  Jade headed off in search of alien stuff and I went up to the guy behind the counter and asked him if he had anything pertaining to the movie Labyrinth. He said he didn’t have much except a poster, which turned out to be the same one Valerie already had in her room, and a ring. It was this ring that ended up being the perfect gift. It was silver, with an “L” engraved against the carving of a maze. The words “Nothing is as it seems . . .” were engraved on the inside of the band. Those words should have given me a clue as to what was to come, but of course they meant nothing outside the context of the movie. Now when I look back on it, I see it as a sign.

  As planned, I stopped by McDonald’s and gotten us both dinner. I wasn’t entirely sure what Valerie usually had at Mickey D’s but I could give an educated guess. Then I headed off to her apartment, hoping that she was in.

  When her apartment door opened, however, it wasn’t Valerie standing in the doorway. It was a woman in her late twenties-early-thirties and she looked none-too-thrilled to be standing there. “Can I help you?” she asked impatiently.

  For a moment I wondered if I’d knocked on the wrong apartment, but I could clearly see the 413 marked on the door. “Is Valerie in?” I asked, feeling stupid all of a sudden, and confused. And a mixture of a few other emotions that bordered on jealousy and nervousness and fear.

  The woman rolled her eyes. “She’s kind of busy at the moment.”

  Valerie stepped out of the bedroom at that moment, wearing a bathrobe and nothing more from what I could tell. When she saw me standing there she froze. “Alix.”

  I tightened my grip around the McDonald’s bag so that I wouldn’t drop it and somehow found my voice. “Uh. I was just delivering some food.” I handed the bag to the woman who now just looked confused. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

  I slowly backed away from the doorway and then started running down the hall. I don’t know why I was running. Perhaps because I wanted to get away from the pain as quickly as possible and somehow I figured I could achieve it quicker by transporting my body to a different location. I didn’t stop running until I reached the sidewalk outside the apartment building and felt Valerie’s hand on my arm. I whirled around to face her, though I didn’t want to.

  “Please wait,” Valerie said. She wasn’t even out of breath. “It’s not what you think.”

  I, on the other hand, was out of breath so it took me a moment to respond. “I’m having a lot of trouble believing that. You’re naked under that, aren’t you?”

  Valerie looked down at the robe she was wearing. “Yes. But—”

  “And you’re the artist, so don’t give me an excuse that you were posing for a portrait.”

  “It’s not—”

  “And that wasn’t Robin, so you can’t tell me that she just showed up out of the blue to pick up some hair pin she left when—”

  “Alix!” Valerie yelled. “Listen to me.”

  I took a deep breath, trying desperately not to cry. Not yet. Not in front of her, in the middle of a sidewalk in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. “I’m listening.”

  She paused, looking around. She ran a hand through her hair and chewed on her lower lip. Then she looked around again. “Fuck it all to hell,” she muttered, more to herself
than to me. Then she met my gaze. “I’m not . . . I’m not Valerie Skye.”

  Chapter 19

  I was ready for anything. I was ready for her to claim that the woman had been her long lost sister. Or a cousin. I was probably overreacting anyway. Just because she was . . . naked . . . and there was a strange woman in her apartment didn’t necessarily mean that Valerie was cheating on me. There were a million and one explanations. And I was ready for any of them, really. Except that one.

  “I mean, my name is Valerie Skye,” she continued, looking very flustered. She paused for a long time. “Look, Alix, there’s nothing going on with me and that woman up there. She’s just a friend.”

  That’s really all she had to say to begin with. “Then what did you mean when you said that you weren’t Valerie Skye?”

  She visibly swallowed. “I can’t . . . I can’t tell you. I shouldn’t have . . . Look, I’m just not who you think I am . . .”

  This had to be a dream. I looked around expecting Jessica to appear out of the blue and claim to be my father, or Jade to appear hovering in the air like a genie, something, anything to let me know that this was in fact a dream and that what I thought was happening wasn’t really happening at all. When nothing of the sort happened, I turned back to Valerie. “You’re really confusing me.”

  She took a step toward me, but I backed away. “Alix . . . I swear there’s nothing going on between her and me.”

  “What did you mean when you said you weren’t Valerie Skye?” I asked again.

  I’d never seen her look so pained as she did at that moment. Like the world was falling all around her and she couldn’t do a thing to stop it. She took a step away from me. “I’m not who you think I am,” was her answer, once again.

  This wasn’t supposed to be happening. We weren’t supposed to be standing outside her apartment building having this conversation. We were supposed to be inside, eating McDonald’s. And then I was supposed to give her the Labyrinth ring and then we’d talk and watch TV and spend the night together. This . . . whatever this was . . . wasn’t part of the plan. Where was the rewind button so I could start everything over?