by Mona Ingram
“Ariana?” Torn from her reverie, she looked up to see Jeremy watching her. “Are you all right? You looked like you were in pain.”
If you only knew, she thought. “No, I’m fine.”
“If you say so.” He shifted his feet. “Listen, something’s come up and I might not be able to stop by tonight.”
“Don’t worry.” Ariana managed a smile. “Gran has already arranged for her driver to take me home tomorrow after I’m discharged, so I’ll see you then.”
“Okay.” He gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and left.
The nurse entered her room moments after Jeremy left. “Come on, Mrs. Logan. Let’s take a walk.” She flicked back the bed covering and slipped some booties on Ariana’s feet.
Ariana accepted her help getting out of bed. “I can manage to walk on my own if you’re busy.”
“Yes, I think you could, but humour me. Hospital rules and all that.” She offered her arm and Ariana took it.
“How is your pain?” the nurse asked as they shuffled down the hall.
“Not bad,” said Ariana, looking into rooms as they walked by. “When I read the literature, I was surprised to find that other types of breast surgery can be far more painful.” She patted the pouches at the end of the drain tubes. “I’m not sure I like these pouches, though.”
The nurse smiled. “Just think of how things were before some genius thought of using drains.”
“I suppose so,” said Ariana. “The faster I can heal, the better.” She paused at the next doorway. “Have these woman all had breast surgery?” She gave the nurse’s arm a small squeeze. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosy.”
The nurse glanced into the room, where three sets of feet were all that was visible. “It’s an oncology ward. It would be safe to say that a good number of these women have had mastectomies.”
“I wonder how they do it,” murmured Ariana.
“What do you mean?”
She shot the nurse a quick look. “I don’t quite know how to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. I have financial resources, so arranging for care, and the things I need for my recovery weren’t a problem for me. Plus I don’t have any children to worry about. I can’t imagine how these women manage the expenses, or the time off work, or caring for their children during their recovery time.”
“But they do,” said the nurse. “Somehow.” She turned them around. “Let’s go back to your room.”
“Are there support groups?” asked Ariana, her thoughts still on the other women.
“Yes. And I believe a lot of them attend the meetings. Particularly the ones who need emotional support as well.” The nurse cocked her head to one side. “You seem remarkably well adjusted for someone who’s just had a bilateral.”
Ariana filled the nurse in on her family history. “I feel like I’ve been set free, to tell you the truth. The possibility of cancer has been weighing on me for a good many years. I’ll never breast feed, but at least I’m alive and I can still have children.”
“I admire your outlook.” The nurse helped her into bed and paused at the door. “My shift ends soon. Good luck to you, Mrs. Logan.”
“Thanks, Denise. I appreciate that.” Ariana stared at the ceiling, expanding on an idea that had taken root a few days ago. With nothing much to do in the next few weeks, she’d have lots of time to examine it from all sides.
Chapter Fifteen
JODI DIDN’T RECOGNIZE the number on call display. “New Beginnings,” she said. “How may I help you?”
“Hello Jodi. It’s Blaine.”
“Blaine who?”
Blaine stifled a laugh. “Are you going to bust my balls every time I phone?”
“Quite possibly. What do you want?”
“You know what I want. How is she? And don’t ask who.”
Jodi decided to cut him some slack. “I just talked to her, actually. Everything went well and Jackie and her driver are picking her up tomorrow to take her home.”
“So soon?”
“What are you now, a doctor?” Jodi waited for a comeback, but when he didn’t speak, she softened her tone. “She sounded fine, Blaine. I’ll be seeing her tonight; would you like me to give her a message?”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t tell her I called. I need to see her face to face for what I have to say.”
Jodi wished she could be a fly on the wall for that conversation. “So you’re still in Toronto?”
“Yes, for a few more weeks, but I don’t intend to stay the full two months. Will you take note of this number and call me if anything comes up? Anything at all.”
“Okay,” she said, although she’d already done it. “And Blaine?”
“Hmmm.”
“When you get back? Don’t hurt her, okay? She’s in a rough place right now.”
“Are you kidding? First of all I’d rather cut off my arm than hurt her. And secondly, I’d have to answer to you. I don’t know which of those scenarios scares me the most.”
“Trust me, if you hurt her I’ll do a lot worse than cut off your arm. ‘Bye, Blaine.” She disconnected without waiting for a response.
“Now that’s the kind of friend every woman should have,” he said, slipping the phone into his pocket and going back to work.
“GRAN, WHAT HAVE YOU done?” Ariana’s house was overflowing with flowers when she got home the next day. “But I do love them.”
Jackie drifted from room to room, checking that everything looked just right. Finally, she stopped and held up her hands. “Look at me, fussing like a mother hen. I’ll go home and leave you in Carly’s capable care.” She turned to the practical nurse. “You have my number if you need it.”
Carly nodded. “Yes, Mrs. Beaumont. Thanks for sending your driver.”
Not wanting to get too close, Jackie gave Ariana an air kiss and whispered in her ear. “I put your rose on your bedside table.”
Ariana blushed. “Thanks, Gran. I’m headed there right now. Just coming home has tired me out.”
WHEN ARIANA WOKE, IT was almost dark. She had been vaguely aware of Carly checking on her, but she’d gone right back to sleep. She felt around on the bed for the buzzer the nurse had given her and pushed it.
“I’d like to get up now,” she said with a grimace. “I need to move around a bit, and then I think I’ll sit out on the patio and wait for my husband.”
ARIANA SHUFFLED AROUND and lit a few outdoor candles, then settled down to wait for Jeremy. Their back yard, like everything else about their home, was a showplace, and yet she could count on one hand the number of times they’d entertained friends here. The fact was, they didn’t have many friends outside of the business, and frequent company functions at downtown locations gave her all the interaction she needed with the real estate crowd. When they’d first moved into this house, she’d envisioned a playhouse in the corner of the lot, with a swing set and a...
“Hi.” Jeremy swooped in and placed a quick kiss on her lips. He smelled slightly of scotch, but he often had a drink in the evening, and she didn’t see any point in nagging him about it.
“I brought you some more flowers,” he said, awkwardly handing her a mixed bouquet. “But the house already looks like a flower shop.”
“Thank you, Jeremy.” She accepted the generic flowers and her thoughts went to the one perfect rose at her bedside.
“I’m going to get a drink. Would you like anything?”
“No thanks... no, wait. A bottle of water would be good. I’m supposed to stay hydrated.”
He returned moments later and handed her the bottle.
“Could you open it, please? I could probably do it, but I’m not supposed to exert myself.” For some reason, she was embarrassed to ask for help, and laughed nervously.
“Of course.” He opened the bottle, handed it back to her and chanced a quick look at her chest. “Are you in pain?”
“It’s not too bad, surprisingly. Thanks for asking.” It was the first personal conversation they’d had in ages
, and they were speaking like strangers.
Jeremy walked around the patio, peering into the lit candles, then sat down abruptly.
“Ariana.” He seemed to be gathering his courage. “I know we haven’t been close lately, but I’d like to start over again.” He looked up and finally met her eyes. “It’s clear that neither of us is happy the way things are, and I just thought... I don’t know... that maybe we could go away and have a weekend together. Like we used to do when we were first together.”
Tears pooled in Ariana’s eyes. Why couldn’t he have proposed this a couple of years ago? Even a year ago they might have been able to pull together the fraying edges of their relationship, but now? She didn’t think so.
“Why, Jeremy?”
“Why? What do you mean?” He looked uncomfortable. For a brief second she looked into his eyes and caught a glimpse of the real reason behind his proposal. He was afraid that she was going to sell her controlling portion of the business to someone who would treat him like an employee.
“You think I’m going to sell my part of the business and you’re worried about where that will leave you.”
His face turned red and he leaped to his feet. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really? I think you do.” She was getting tired of playing games. “You don’t really want to get back together, Jeremy. For a moment there, you had me wondering if you were sincere, but even if you were, it’s too late and I think you know that.”
He slumped back into his chair. “So what’s the bottom line?”
“That’s what it’s come down to. A business arrangement.” She shook her head. “If I wasn’t so wiped out from this operation, I’d get mad right about now.” She thought for a moment. “Or not. Come to think of it, our marriage isn’t worth the energy it would take.”
Jeremy stopped any pretense at reconciliation. “When did you become such a cold bitch?”
Ariana sighed. “When I overheard you tell Kristin that we have an open marriage.”
“What?” His gaze darted around. “I never –”
She held up a hand. “Don’t deny it, Jeremy. I stopped by that open house after my doctor’s appointment and I heard you. The bottom line is you should have come with me to that appointment.” She took a long pull from the water bottle. “But that’s in the past, and I’m determined to concentrate on the future. So here’s the way I see it. Sometime in the next few weeks I’ll be visiting my lawyer to start divorce proceedings. Then I’m going away for a while. I need some time to think, and when I come back, we can discuss this further. In the meantime, I don’t want to see you. I don’t object to you staying in the house; it’s your home too after all, but I don’t want to see you.” She looked at him steadily. “Can you do that?”
He nodded. “All right, but –”
“Forget the buts. This isn’t a negotiation.”
He looked at her with newfound respect. “When did you get so tough?”
She could think of any number of clever replies, but decided on the truth. “When I realized that there’s something a lot better out there.” Determined not to show weakness, she rose by herself and went back into the house without another word.
Chapter Sixteen
“HERE, LET ME DO THAT. We used to brush each other’s hair all the time when we were kids, remember?” Jodi arrived the next morning just as Carly finished washing Ariana’s hair. She handed over the brush and Jodi nodded her thanks. “It didn’t occur to me that you wouldn’t be able to raise your arms.” She brushed gently and Ariana closed her eyes. “How are you feeling?”
“A bit better.” She met Carly’s eyes in the mirror. “I slept fairly well last night, right?”
“She was a bit restless, but overall she had a good night. We’ll try the pillows in a slightly different position tonight,” said Carly confidently. She gathered up the wet towels. “I’ll leave you two to catch up while I take these to the laundry.”
“She’s nice,” said Jodi. “I’m glad you’ve got her here with you. When does she sleep?”
Ariana glanced at her watch. “Someone else is coming to be with me during the day and Carly said she’d catch some sleep then. She wanted to give me some extra sleeping aids last night, but I have so many pills in my system I thought I’d try without them. Turns out she was right, but I’ll nap this afternoon.”
“Any reason she wanted to knock you out?” Jodi was watching her carefully in the mirror.
“I think she overheard a bit of what Jeremy and I were discussing last night. He had the nerve to suggest that we should try getting back together, and I almost believed him.”
“He’s worried you’re going to sell the company.”
“Exactly.” Ariana sighed. “I told him I’m going to start divorce proceedings but that I’ll decide on the business when I get back.”
Jodi stopped brushing. “Back from where?”
“I’m not sure yet. But it will be somewhere peaceful, where I can walk on the beach and think things through.”
“That could be anywhere on the island.”
“I know. That’s what I love about living here. I need to recover for a couple of weeks first, then I’ll leave. I have a lot to think about.”
Jodi put down the brush. “So much has happened. Are you nervous?”
Ariana studied her reflection in the mirror. “Not really. I’m more excited than anything. All of a sudden I see a new future stretching out in front of me, and I really like it.”
“Are you going to quit the company?”
“I might.” Ariana smiled to herself. “That’s one of the things I’m going to think about. I’m good at what I do and I’ve made a lot of money, but it’s not exactly a satisfying occupation. Lots of nights and weekends. Clients with too much money who think the world revolves around them, or clients with not enough money who can’t find anything decent in this market. It can be frustrating.”
“Wow, I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Neither did I, until I started to be honest with myself. I’d like to do something meaningful for a change.”
“Such as?”
Ariana shrugged. “I’ll tell you when I’ve got it figured out.”
Chapter Seventeen
BLAINE DROVE SLOWLY up the cobblestone driveway. Set well off the street in the exclusive Rosedale section of Toronto, the mullioned windows glinted in the late afternoon sun. White trim combined with black shutters gave the red brick home a formidable presence, and Blaine wondered if his welcome would be any warmer than the last time. Of course he hadn’t given any advance notice then, either.
Why did he show up unannounced when he knew it was impolite? Perhaps because he hoped his father wouldn’t be home, and he could say he’d made an effort. Or was he still angry and trying to piss the old man off?
Hampton Bennett was a shipping magnate of sorts. “Ham” to his friends, he was tall and broad-shouldered like his son, with a full head of black hair brushed back from a high brow. He had taken over a broken down fleet of rusting ships from his ailing father and turned it into the largest shipping company on the Great Lakes. Building up the business had taken every ounce of energy he possessed, combined with every moment of time, leaving nothing for his young family. He dismissed his wife’s requests for his presence as the demands of a spoiled woman. When Blaine made it clear that he didn’t intend to join his father in business, he was treated as though he didn’t exist. The moment Blaine turned eighteen and left home, so did his mother. She had been replaced by a much younger woman who Blaine pitied more than disliked.
Blaine sat in the rental car and studied the house. He couldn’t say exactly why he tried to reconnect with his father every few years, but he did. He’d given up trying to please the man many years ago, but deep down he wanted to have a simple conversation. He longed for that nebulous emotion somewhere between affection and friendship. All he really wanted was for his father to accept him – understand him, perhaps. Was tha
t too much to ask?
He got out of the car and strode to the entrance before he changed his mind. White pillars flanked the front door. The roof they supported was ineffective in a snowstorm, but the pillars set off the front of the house beautifully. He pressed the familiar brass doorbell.
An older woman answered the door; Blaine assumed she was the housekeeper. “Blaine Bennett to see Mr. Bennett,” he said, striving for a friendly tone.
The woman’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Is Mr. Bennett expecting you?”
“No.”
“I see. Well, if you’ll wait for just a moment, I’ll see if he’s available.” She indicated the informal parlor to the left and scurried off on silent shoes.
Blaine wandered around the parlor, studying the few pieces of excellent artwork on the walls. Nothing in the room offered a hint about the owner, and Blaine wondered if it had always been that way. He supposed it had, he’d just been too unhappy to notice.
“Mr. Bennett will see you now.” The woman had returned. “If you’ll come this way, please, he’s in his office.”
Blaine frowned. His father had been adamant about going to the office every day and had never worked at home. Of course these days, with everyone being connected online...
The woman opened a door and ushered Blaine into a room. The layout was slightly different than he remembered; it had been the library at one time. French doors opened to a sloping back lawn bordered by carefully tended flower beds.
At first he didn’t recognize his father. Sitting behind a desk, his hair was now pure white. Once proud of his erect posture, he was now slumped slightly to one side, and Blaine saw instantly that he’d had a stroke.
“Hello, father.” He crossed the room and offered his hand. His father raised his left arm and shook awkwardly. “Hello son. Still haven’t learned any manners, I see.” The words were tempered with a smile.