I nudge him and wink. “Didn’t want to risk not being able to yank his chain.” It had been a standing joke for years that I, as prez, produced male sperm, my VP only female.
“I like having one of each, balances us out.” Peg contemplates, looking out over the scenery. “We’ve been lucky with our kids, Drummer.”
That we have.
As if summoned by our thoughts, Noah, Peg’s son and Jacob, one of Heart’s twins, approach, their worn Satan’s Devils cuts on their shoulders. Two chin lifts in greeting, then they walk past us into the clubhouse.
We’re quiet for a moment, then Peg picks up the threads of our conversation again, returning to the subject of the sweet butts.
“Jill, now she tried to get her claws into a member. She didn’t succeed, just got herself killed.”
Instead of going into the circumstances of Jill’s betrayal, Peg circles back to the original subject. “So, even after that, you thought Allie could get through to Truck? And survive it? He might not have wanted anything to do with her.”
Chapter Seven
Allie…
I close the front door behind me, then walk around the back to the parking lot where I’d left the borrowed car. I lean against it, cradling my head in my hands, before getting in.
It’s only now I allow my feelings for the destroyed man in the apartment behind me to come out.
I’d known he’d been hurt, knew he could no longer do his job, but I hadn’t realised how badly. It’s obvious the mental scars are as bad, if not worse than the physical ones I could see clearly. He’s changed so much from the prospect I knew before, the jovial, happy man who’d do anything for anybody.
I feel so damn useless. He needs help, I don’t know what I can do to provide it.
I’ve watched prospects come and go. Secretly grinning at the way the members make their lives hard for them while knowing it’s a game with a serious outcome. I’ve been around ten years, I know what goes on in the club, I even have a pretty good idea where some of the bodies are buried. Brothers need to trust any man brought to the table with their lives and freedom. Bring the wrong man in, and the whole club could go down.
So prospects are tested. Their role is to willingly do everything asked of them. They’ll clean bikes, mop up puke, keep brothers stocked with condoms and dispose of used ones. No task would be considered unreasonable, and a shout of ‘Hey, Prospect’ will bring any of them running with no questions asked.
Truck, older than most of our recent prospects, never complained whatever he’d been asked to do. Heart had him cleaning up after Grunt when the dog’s stomach was upset, and he did that willingly without even a comment about the smell. He didn’t wait to be asked when he saw something that needed to be done, just slipped in and got it resolved. It was obvious he’d do anything for anyone, and not just because he wanted his patch, but from a genuine desire to help.
I never saw him get angry, unless it was justified on someone else’s behalf. I can’t remember a time he hadn’t been smiling or laughing.
To see him like he was today? That was hard. He is a changed man. He’s broken. However much I’d like to fix him, I’m not sure that I can.
I shudder, and a sob escapes. Not for me, but for the man I’m leaving hurting and alone. Can’t do more here, girl.
No, I can’t. I get in the car and drive back to the compound, thoughts whizzing around my head of how I can help. Each one dismissed as I’m sure each is a non-starter. Truck doesn’t seem to want help. How can you provide aid to a man who doesn’t admit he needs assistance?
I park the car at the auto-shop, return the keys, then, as I’m passing the clubhouse to go up to the residence the sweet butts share at the top of the compound, Drummer’s walking down toward me.
“Allie,” he acknowledges.
I hadn’t specifically told him where I was going, that it was today I was going to follow his instruction, so I enlighten him. “I’ve been to see Truck.”
“Yeah? You talk to him?” His eyes narrow, then when I indicate, yes, he issues an invitation by pointing to the clubhouse.
My shoulders rise and fall and I give a loud sigh as I follow him inside, knowing he’s not going to like what I have to tell him.
I was right. After I’ve catalogued Truck’s injuries, he’s quiet, and there’s a frown on his face.
Then he looks up and nods approvingly. “You did well, Allie. More than anyone else. You got to talk with him, and now we know what we’re dealing with.”
“He thinks he’ll have to leave the club, Drummer. His left side, his leg, his hand.” I might not ride a bike myself, but I’ve been around them long enough to understand how they work. “The clutch, the gears, he’d have difficulty with them. He seems to think where he’s got to now is the best he can be, and that he’ll never be able to ride.”
He looks thoughtful. “Ways around anything if you put your mind to it. Sam’s Vincent Black Shadow has the gears on the right, same as my Norton. Clutch though, nah, that’s still on the left. But maybe we could build something custom.”
“Then there’s his eye,” I remind him.
“Wouldn’t say I’m an ophthalmologist, but I’m sure the brain adapts when someone’s lost an eye. I suppose it depends on the vision of his remaining one.”
“I’m no eye doctor either, but I suspect it’s something he’ll learn to adjust to in time. Then don’t forget, he’s worried about what he looks like.”
“His appearance put you off?”
I sit forward, the words coming out almost as a snarl. “I didn’t give a fucking damn.” Then correct, “Apart from seeing the effect it has on him. He calls himself a monster and believes it.”
Drummer takes that in, his face hardening. “Wouldn’t affect what we think of him, he’s still the same man. Well done, Allie. You’ve taken the first step. You’ve just got to keep working on him. I’m not saying it’s not going to be difficult, but I want him back in the club. First step is to get him to see me.”
“Not sure he’ll agree to that.” I’m one-hundred-percent certain he won’t, but don’t want to appear negative.
“I appreciate what you’re doing, Al. I know this can’t be easy.”
“I’d do it, Drummer, whether you asked me or not.”
He sits back in his chair, linking his hands behind his head. “Told you, I’m going to bring this to the table. For now, you’ll officially be relieved of all other duties but tending bar. Your one focus is to make sure we bring Truck back into the fold. I’ll make sure everyone knows that.”
What happens if I fail? What happens if Truck comes back and wants nothing to do with me?
The questions must show on my face.
“Girl, you’ve given ten years to this club. We won’t turn you out on your ear.”
“I don’t think I can be a sweet butt anymore,” I all but whisper.
Drummer sighs. “I can’t offer you anything without discussing it with the members first. Should the time come, I’ll bring it up then. I’m not going to make promises I can’t keep.”
I can’t expect him too. But it puts more pressure on me. If things don’t work out with Truck, I may well lose my home. What would it be like, to see Truck around the club going off with another sweet butt? I could stay, hope that I have a few nights with him, that’s better than nothing, isn’t it? Better than him never returning to the club and me losing touch with him completely. I could handle watching him walk off with Diva and Paige, couldn’t I? If the alternative is never seeing him again. Could I do that?
“Allie,” he draws my attention again. “We’ve got four sweet butts and seven single men. Fuck, I remember the time it was just you and Jill. Fuckin’ glad she found you and brought you to us. I think she was too.”
She had been, I remember as I think back. The club was only around twelve men or so then, but as the sole sweet butt, she’d been kept busy.
“Wasn’t long after me that Pussy came. And then there was Chrissy.” I notice his face tw
ists at my words.
“Sweet butts are important to the club. It keeps everything tight. Men don’t have to go searching for pussy, they’ve got it here on tap. And secrets can be contained on the compound. Sweet butts are club property, but a woman who isn’t a sweet butt or old lady? Not had to deal with that before, unless they were here temporarily under our protection.”
That’s how Sophie ended up with Wraith. She came here, found her man, and stayed. But I’m certainly not in that category. “I know Drummer. I’ll have to do some thinking.”
“That you will, Allie. That you will.”
I try to convince myself that nothing has to change, but leaving Drummer’s office, I realise the truth of two things. One, I already know I don’t have it in me to be a sweet butt anymore, but the other is, it would kill me inside to watch Truck with another woman.
I’ve got to convince Truck he wants me.
I’ve taken the first step, and should be proud that I’ve managed to succeed in seeing him while everyone else has failed.
But I can’t be. It probably wasn’t me. If one of the other girls had gone, would they have had the same result? He saw me as someone available for a quick fuck when he was feeling horny. He said I could go back. Not anyone else.
Leaving the clubhouse, I walk to the top of the compound. As I approach the small two-storey house where I live, I take a moment to appreciate my home. This house hadn’t always been here. At first I, and the other sweet butts, used to live in what are now the crash rooms in the clubhouse. Then, when Drummer’s house was being built, Viper and Bullet’s crew built two more, one for visiting officers to use, and one for us girls. It was nice to have somewhere to ourselves, somewhere we could kick back and relax, or, after a long night, be able to sleep well into the day without being woken by the noise in the clubroom.
As more and more old ladies join the club, we’ve been spending less time at the clubhouse. The women tolerate but don’t like us, I don’t blame them, they all know we’ve slept with their men. Although they’ve given up trying now, it was hard for Pussy, Diva or Paige to believe the brothers would settle down. Me, too, if I’m honest. Who would have expected the brothers to keep to one pussy, when they’d been used to variety? I’m ashamed now to admit, we’d all tried it, tested them in little ways, draped arms around them, rubbed breasts against arms, all in the presence of the old ladies. We had an excuse, we knew these men, knew what we were going to be missing, so yeah, we didn’t want to give them up. Seems it was the best of the men who were being taken, first Wraith, then Drummer, then others falling like flies. The old ladies had stolen our men. It’s no wonder there’s no love lost between the two groups of women, and that we’re discouraged to mingle.
Our house is now one of a collection, besides Drummer, Wraith and Heart have had theirs built up here too. Construction is well underway on Rock and Becca’s as they’re expecting their second baby.
I pause as I pass the kids’ playground, shaking my head. It’s something I never expected to see all those years ago when I’d first joined the MC. This place has changed beyond all recognition.
Sophie and Sam are sitting in the sun, watching their four kids play together. As I walk by, I don’t take it as an insult that they don’t turn to greet me, I’m used to it. I spare a quick smile as I see Eli’s head bent next to Olivia’s. Those two are inseparable, and have been since they were born, just a few weeks apart.
But what happens? What exactly is my status if I’m neither sweet butt nor old lady? Shunned by the women with old men, and possibly by the whores who I’ll be walking away from. Where would I fit in? It’s a question I don’t want to think about now.
I don’t need to take out a key, no one locks their doors. Who’d come onto a biker compound? Stealing from the club would be a good way to commit suicide.
As I walk into the kitchen, the welcome aroma of coffee greets me. Paige, Diva and Pussy are sitting around the table with cups in their hands. As I gesture to the pot, Pussy nods.
Filling a cup, I go to join them.
“You had business in town?” Diva asks.
“Yeah.” I don’t feel inclined to fill them in on where I’ve been and why.
“We were just talking.” Pussy focuses her blue eyes on me.
I shrug. I expect they were. Gossiping, probably.
“Who do you think has the biggest cock in the club?”
I grin, it’s a topic we visit from time to time. “Size. What does it matter? It’s what they can do with it that counts.”
“Have you ever gone with Peg? I hear he’s got a Jacob’s ladder.” Pussy licks her lips.
My head shakes. “He didn’t go with the girls, even before he married Darcy.”
“Same with Mouse,” Paige pouts.
“I miss Tongue,” Pussy’s face tightens. “The things that man could do with his tongue…”
“Yes! He had a stud in it, didn’t he?” I join in the reminiscing.
“We,” Diva points to Paige and herself, “never met him.”
“It’s a shame Adam’s gone too.” I recall another member we lost. “He was a quiet one, but boy, did he give you a good time.” I remember he’d been my first biker, and my first orgasm. He’d made me realise coming to the club had not been a mistake.
“What I regret most is Wraith taking an old lady,” Pussy observes. “I keep waiting for him to get fed up with just Sophie, but so far no chance. Even when she was pregnant I couldn’t tempt him away.”
I’ve noticed her still flirting with him, but didn’t realise it was with actual intent. No wonder the old ladies hate us. They have an argument with their men? We’re all available to provide comfort of the physical kind.
“You have a hankering for him to be your old man?”
“Fuck no!” she exclaims. “I wouldn’t mind sharing him. Just want a ride on his cock every now and again.”
Diva and Paige sigh together. “Never taken him for a spin. He had his old lady before we arrived.”
I sit back in my chair, my hands around my cup of coffee, content to listen. Not that I hadn’t heard it all before.
“If you could become an old lady, who would you want?”
“Available men, or taken?” Paige’s eyes gleam.
Pussy shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Well, I’d like Beef if he was still here. Fucking shame he had to go.” Diva pouts. “He had stamina. Could satisfy both of us. Can’t believe he’s got a woman now.”
“Won’t last.” Paige shakes her head at Diva. “One won’t be enough for him.”
“They’ve got sweet butts in the Colorado chapter,” Pussy observes. “He’s probably making use of them.”
“No,” I re-enter the conversation. “Beef’s a good man. He won’t step out on his woman. Didn’t go with any of us after he got with Sally, did he?”
“Sally! Pah! Now there’s a woman who’d never satisfy a man.”
“What about you, Al?” Diva asks. “Who would you want as your old man?”
I shrug. I know the answer, but it’s someone who’s even more unattainable than one of the men who’s got an old lady.
“Has Viper had a blow job from anyone lately?”
Pussy’s question makes me think. He’s got Sandy as his old lady, but never used to turn a blow job down. “You know,” I answer her, thoughtfully, “once Sam came on the scene, that was the end of that.”
“Fucking old ladies. Taking our men.”
“Could you do that?” asks Pussy, addressing no one in particular. “Settle down with one man?”
Diva’s shoulders rise and fall. “I’d like the security more than the man, I think. As long as the sex was good, I could do it.”
“Hey,” Paige leans in conspiratorially, “I took Drifter for a test drive the other day.”
“Yeah, I’ve been with him too.”
“What do you think?” Paige asks Diva.
“Think he needs teaching a thing or two. He’s got the basics
down right, though.”
“The only man I’m not keen on is Dollar.” Pussy frowns. “He treats me a bit like a whore on the streets. I keep thinking he’ll get out his wallet at the end of it.”
“A hundred times better than being a streetwalker.” I shudder.
Paige and Diva understand. “A thousand times,” Paige continues my train of thought. “On the streets you were always taking chances. Most johns were okay, grateful. Some were rough and wanted it how they couldn’t get it at home.”
“Some you’d have an argument with about using a condom,” Diva takes over with a shudder. “You always went out worried you wouldn’t come home.”
“Hygiene could be an issue.” Paige’s nose wrinkles. “I hated the old men in particular. They used to smell of body odour and cabbage.”
“Cabbage?” I snort. Diva shrugs. I don’t know whether I’d describe it as that, but she’s right, they did have a particular smell about them.
Whatever my future will be, I need to avoid going back on the streets. Cocooned here, I’d almost forgotten how bad it could be. Nope. Never doing that again.
Diva brightens. “But here it’s a lot better. None of the brothers would go without a condom, they’re too worried about having kids. And, except for when there are visiting chapters, we know everyone too. They wouldn’t hurt us, Drummer wouldn’t let them. And they’re bikers.” She says the last as though it sums them up.
And it does. They ride and live fast, fuck hard too. If a woman couldn’t take their style of loving, she shouldn’t be around them.
“Dollar’s a strange one.” Paige returns to Pussy’s comment. “He’s polite. Never fucks in the clubroom, always in private. I see what you mean about him behaving like a john.”
“He done that thing with you?”
“Yeah,” we all agree and share a moment of laughter.
When that dies down, Diva looks concerned. “Do you think they’ll get rid of us? If they all find women.”
“They won’t. Look at who’s left. Dollar, Shooter, Drifter, Marvel, Road and Jekyll. With the exception of Road, I can’t see any of them settling down.”
Truck Stopped: Satan's Devils MC #11 Page 7