by Katie Dowe
The door to Brett’s master suite was made of a rare redwood. The knots and grains were varnished for smoothness, but the workman made a brilliant choice in allowing the matte finish to illuminate the beauty of its natural pattern. Natalie held her breath as she anticipated him pushing it.
With a smile as bright as the sunshine now pouring through the floor to ceiling windows, Brett entered. “I’m back Natalie, I know you missed me,” he laughed.
Imitating the old woman, Natalie simply lifted her finger and pointed in his mother’s direction. The giant door dwarfed and hid the imposing woman, but with an effortless push, he closed it, exposing the matriarch of the Haughton family.
“Mom…?” Brett asked. “What the hell are you doing here? The butler didn’t announce you. And why the hell are you in my room?”
Finally dropping her dart like fingers, she said haughtily in her trembling, aged voice, “I am still the owner of this property and I can still come here whenever I like! The more pressing question is, who’s the bed wench here trying to lure you in and trap you for your money?”
Brett’s voice grew louder as he realized the ridiculousness of her presence in what was an intimate affair. “Mother it’s time for you to leave. You have insulted my guest and over stepped your line.”
Hissing, Mrs. Haughton responded, “You can’t ask me to leave… and you know these type of people… she probably already has some silver ware up her…” before the vulgar term could leave her lips, Brett had maneuvered his six foot four frame over to his mother. She was a tough bird and didn’t back down.
That was until Brett growled close to her face, “Old woman, I am telling you I will remove you myself if you don’t leave. Don’t make me do it.”
Like a turtle retreating to its shell, Mrs. Haughton withdrew her neck and leaned back. Taking three steps back to avoid the uncomfortable proximity, she threw one final glance at Natalie before chipping around her son to the door. As angry as he was, Brett was still a gentleman and he pulled it open for her exit. Quietly she slipped away as Brett exhaled and gently banged his forehead into the now closed door. Natalie’s eyes focused on the man she was sleeping with before a disturbing thought crossed her mind, ‘the battle with his mother wasn’t over yet.’
*****
It was strange the way love made people act, and it was true for both sides of the coin. On one hand, couples freshly in love doted over each other and kissed all the time. The women walked around with smiles on their faces and the men walked taller. When that love eventually becomes old and stale, sour faces and slumped shoulders announced to the world the horrid tragedy of heart break.
Natalie lived both these lives and her current state of happiness was the constant reminder of the heartache the latter could bring - she was afraid of both.
Starting the engine to her old Toyota on that fateful morning back in July, she never thought she could finally emerge from the depths of depression she pretended she didn’t feel. Sure, Natalie smiled a lot, but most of it was fake. Yes, her baby of a business gave her joy beyond measure, but every time a happy customer left her booth, she cussed herself for listening to Jason all those years. If only she had listened to her instinct, she would have been further along in her career. Unfortunately, she had let him dictate her life.
They met when she was nineteen and he was twenty three. Tall and mocha, Jason crooned his way into her life. She had flagged down a taxi just outside the leather shop on a busy street in the heart of the city. She was anxious to get home to try her hand at sandal making. This was her final stop on her hunt for shoe making supplies.
Taking care not to drop any packages, Natalie hurried over to the waiting car and pulled the door. Only when she got inside did she notice that someone else had also flagged down the cab. Jason flopped down on the cushioned seat the same time she did. Luckily, the people on this side of Florida were so sunshine happy that brawls over things like cabs were unheard of and after a quick laugh about the mix up they decided to share the ride.
Natalie was not much of a talker, but Jason filled the void nicely with tidbits about himself and his family. Only halfway through did he realize he didn’t introduce himself. They both laughed again and this time Natalie became an active participant in the conversation. By the end of the fifteen minute journey they had exchanged numbers and decided to stay in touch. That was the beginning.
Somewhere in the middle - that would be 4 years down the road, things took a drastic turn. Maybe the signs were there for a long time, but then again, she wasn’t experienced, she wasn’t worldly, she was too fanciful, he'd said. Natalie disagreed with his opinion of her in silence. She didn’t see these particular flaws Jason constantly pointed out, but nevertheless decided to work harder on her short comings.
When in the shower alone, often crying, she wondered if she really was as incompetent as Jason said. After all, she had been living on her own for a while before she met him. Her bills were paid and she had savings - was she that much of a train wreck just a short few years later, she wondered. True, she didn’t have a ‘grown up job’ as Jason put it, but she enjoyed every second of being the creative director at the privately funded community center in her neighborhood. The money was average, but the classes she taught in fashion design and accessory making put her in a comfortable financial position. She was pretty happy with her life.
At first Jason had laughed when she said what she did. He of course, was an accountant and rising on the corporate ladder swiftly. His salary made hers look like a teenagers allowance and the social circles he swam in were much more well-to-do than her humble long term friendships. At first, his suggestions for a career change were subtle - only making themselves more apparent when his friends at important business dinners asked what she did for a living.
The first time he did it, she was taken aback and the second time, he interrupted her response and she just allowed it. “She’s coming over to the numbers field with me guys. She’s staying home and studying hard while I support her in the background. You know me… never one to toot my own horn!” His bellowing laugh was uncomfortably loud, and the man at whom the comment was directed, didn’t know what to say. Natalie smiled shyly. This was news to her.
On the drive home in his brand new, blood red Mercedes, Jason handed her the application to a night college. She was due to start in a week it seemed. Looking closely to the bottom she noticed he had forged her signature. It was because he loved her and wanted to see her grow he'd said. She would thank him later he'd said. Convincing herself that he was right and she needed to grow up, she found a replacement to teach her classes and became a student again.
The course was hard and the numbers confusing, but she made it. After her first level of certification, her knight and shining armor, Jason Priest, landed her a position as an accounts clerk in the admin department of a firm two blocks away from his. She would officially resign from the post of Creative director the next day. Natalie’s hands shook as she handed over the letter of resignation and her eyes watered as her old students presented her with sculptures and poems. A very big piece of her died that day.
The wedding of Natalie Johnson and Jason Priest was held in the old cathedral with the iron bell. Its chime hauntingly announced their union and the whole matter was sealed with a kiss.
The days of being man and wife were predictably routine. It was something Natalie hated. Breakfast at the same time every day, long hours at her extremely boring job, dinner at the same table, and sex in the same position every night. Making suggestions to spice things up fell on deaf ears. Jason was happy and comfortable with the way things were. He now beamed with pride when he introduced her to his friends and at home, he kept her on the pedestal where he believed she belonged.
Day in and day out, Natalie convinced herself she had made the correct decision. Her mother loved him and her father was smitten by the fact that he was a black man who could afford a Mercedes. They were the perfect pair.
It was
a rainy day when Natalie ran into Jocelyn in the mall. The plump older woman hugged her as though she was a long lost daughter and kissed her on the cheek. Jocelyn ran the community center for as long as history would record and had been most disappointed to learn of Natalie’s resignation a few years prior. The woman commented on how ‘city chic’ Natalie looked and they both joked about how lethal high heels could be.
After the small talk both women delivered a parting hug, with Jocelyn holding on a few seconds longer than necessary. When she finally removed her cubby arms from Natalie’s not so thin frame, she looked solemnly into her eyes and said. “Something is different about you Nat. The fire and passion I once saw in your eyes… where is it?”
Surprised that Jocelyn would point out something that even she was unaware showed, Natalie bowed her head and shook it, hoping to convince the woman all was well. In the end Jocelyn smiled and backed away but Natalie could tell her lies were not that convincing.
Jocelyn’s words stayed with Natalie for a long while after their encounter. At home, naked and alone, she inspected the eyes Jocelyn had looked into. She was right. The spark around Natalie’s hazel brown eyes was gone. There was no sign of it kindling anywhere in the background. It had been extinguished.
Stepping away from the full length mirror, Natalie turned from left to right and then faced herself, staring. Jason had started to comment of her growing derriere. Her hips had filled out and her legs had the curve in the thigh she had seen on her cousins before their baby bumps began to show. Her breasts seemed as well. Was she missing something?
Pulling a bathrobe over her frame she made a mental note to buy a pregnancy test in the morning. It was time to start dinner. Jason fancied homemade pizza. Natalie knew better than to order from the pizzeria they both loved. When Jason wanted something, he got it. The dough had been resting in the fridge and the toppings prepared. Glancing at the clock and seeing six o’clock, Natalie knew she had exactly thirty minutes to get done.
With the mushrooms and other garnishes on, Natalie added her final layer of cheese and popped the platter in the oven. Off to the bedroom she went to shower and change - it was best to be presentable when one’s husband came home her mother said. Back in the kitchen fifteen minutes later, she removed the pizza pan from the oven and deposited it on the counter just as Jason walked through the door.
The scowl on his face announced that he didn’t have a very good day, but still Natalie tried to play the wife game.
“Hi Honey. Care for a glass of wine?”
Natalie smiled and tilted and empty waiting glass in his direction. Giving her and the glass a cursory glance, Jason mumbled a refusal and headed straight for the bedroom. Ten minutes later he was back and ready to eat. Rolling her little cutting device, Natalie sectioned the pizza before placing it in the middle of their contemporary glass table. Wine was poured and like a good wife, she allowed him to select the first piece. Sliding a metal spatula under the slice, Jason attempted to lift it onto his plate. No success. Twisting and turning the implement every which way, he tried to extract the pizza from the clutches of the hot pan but it wouldn’t budge. Clearing her throat, Natalie offered to take over. Her efforts would yield no success either. It was after trying to budge every single slice that she realized she never sprayed any cooking spray on the pan.
She felt his eyes boring into her back as she started to make excuses and apologies. It was then that the tirade started. “Are you trying to tell me that after a long hard day at work, I can’t even get a proper meal from my wife? Are you so dumb that you can’t get one simple thing right?” Jason exploded.
Dumbstruck by the nasty slant in his voice and the insulting nature of his words, Natalie winced as though she had been physically struck. It was just pizza after all. Did a little recipe mix up call for all of this?
“I am so sorry Jason. It was a small mix up on my part, but you are only a few words away from name calling. Is it really that big a deal? We can order in.” Natalie offered.
“If I wanted to order in I would have! I made one simple request for homemade pizza and you can’t get that right? It feels to me, if I’m not here to guide you and instruct you like a damn child, you would mess up a lot more than pizza.”
Before Jason stormed out of the house in the heat of his child like tantrum, he shot her one last verbal bullet. “How about you show me that you are a woman in more ways than sex? Pussy is good, but I need more than that from my wife.”
This was the beginning of the end of their relationship.
Chapter 2
Natalie often wondered why Jason considered her new career a step up in life. She earned less than before and after Jason insisted on moving to a new high rise in the city the dollars stretched even less. Jason insisted she pay half the bills even if it took up eighty percent of her salary. He on the other hand, had a nice chunk left over and treated himself to the finest. This put Natalie in a precarious position. With little to no money left to buy anything, she was forced to ask Jason for cash to buy clothes or any other trinket she wanted. Grudgingly he gave, but it proved to be a trap. As the arguments increased, Jason flung her low earnings in her face as proof of her lacking the skills to run her own life. He would list the dresses, shoes and purses now in her closet as wasted money and remind her that she was less of a woman because he funded her life.
Natalie never quite understood what made him so angry towards her and the more she tried to be the woman he wanted her to be, the more miserably she failed.
One morning as she watched the Mercedes roar down the street from their huge windows on the fiftieth floor, Natalie silently cried. She got up late and just couldn’t seem to move fast enough to catch a ride with Jason. He never offered to wait and it was one more example of just how low this man she loved thought of her.
The ringing cordless phone brought her from the depths of her sadness and she cleared her voice before answering. “The Priest residence, Good morning.”
“Is this Natalie Priest? My name is Samuel Marshall with Modern Realtors… the owner of your building.” The voice on the phone said.
“Oh yes this is Mrs. Priest. How can I help?”
“Well, for some reason, and I’m sure it’s an oversight, there has been a lapse in the monthly rent and also the apartment association fees haven’t been paid either. “
The man paused, waiting for a promise of payment or an explanation, the latter wouldn’t be enough for his bosses.
“Ammm, yes it would have to be an oversight. Let me speak with my husband and call you right back. Is that ok?”
“Certainly Mrs. Priest, I look forward to your callback.”
Hanging up from the bizarre phone call, Natalie wondered why the rent or fees hadn’t been paid. Every month she gave him exactly half of the bills in total and she saw him write the check to Modern Realtors. They couldn’t be broke…. Could they?
It was here the digging began. His office was usually off limits, but in light of the news she thought it fitting to search. A few drawers were locked and others opened. The opened ones revealed nothing, but after a quick grope under the desk a key fell to the floor. This would unlock all his nasty little secrets.
Apparently Jason had been under investigation for fraud by his company for the last three months. He was on probation of sorts. Also in the drawer were slips of paper with numbers and names on. At first Natalie thought Flight of Fancy may have been a stripper name but after reading the fine print at the bottom, she understood it was a horse, a race horse to be exact. A betting sheet? Jason was gambling?
The sheets revealed huge losses announced by angry red print made by Jason’s hand while tracking his bet. He was in a pretty deep hole. There were no bank statements indicating how much money he did or didn’t have but it was safe to assume that if he was stealing from his job, he was close to broke. How the hell did she not know this?
The snowball of their marriage’s demise came quickly after that. Jason said it was her fault fo
r shopping so much and not contributing to finances enough. She didn’t support him, he accused, and he turned to gambling as a form of release.
This time Natalie didn’t cry or try to reason with his foolish logic. The haze and cloud lifted from her eyes and she now saw him as he was. A sniveling child with an ego larger than his head. A child who felt better about himself only when he put down others. A child who Natalie had no desire to be with. That was the end of Natalie and Jason Priest and the beginning of a new and improved Natalie Johnson.
*****
The Toyota sputtered badly whenever she went into reverse - an unfortunate thing for an up and coming entrepreneur like Natalie Johnson, but still the old car did the job. She had bought it a few months after her split with Jason and Natalie adored the fact that it gave her freedom.
Walking into the airport everyday was something Natalie did with pride. Walking around the corner and seeing her booth was one of the only things that made her feel truly happy. The booth wasn’t very large, but it did the job. Four glass display cases arranged into a neat rectangle and small disorganized table with her tools and beads made the business Natalie called ‘Emerge’.
Emerge specialized in making chaotically organized pieces for the bold woman. The colors of the necklaces were bright and loud reminding the world that the wearer was a force to be reckoned with. The earrings were loud statement pieces of resistance to conformity and the bracelets and rings were equally as rebellious. Natural materials were her media of choice and so unusual sea shells, rustic seeds, usually discarded pieces of wood and other objects were usually woven into her masterpieces.
Sometimes when she gazed at her own hands as they constructed the latest piece, she couldn’t believe how fulfilled she felt. The satisfaction of knowing her heart and soul went into each creation gave her immense pride - a feeling she had struggled to find since the break up. Neatly arranged on their displays, the collection was nothing less than eye catching.