by Hart, Rebel
“You need a ride home?”
“Tell us what to do and we can get it done.”
“Seriously, Rae. What do you need right now? Because we’re here for you.”
Yeah, when you aren’t making out over dinner. “I just need a ride home.”
Michael nodded. “I can do that.”
I leaned my head against the glass of his backseat window. Allison took Michael’s hand from across the console, their fingers laced together. Silent tears brewed behind my eyes. With every blink, they threatened to pour out. As if I hadn’t already cried until my voice was hoarse over some asshole who didn’t give a shit about me. They pulled into my driveway and I didn’t bother looking to see if D.J.’s car was there. I just hopped out, happy to be out of their orbit so they could go fuck and get it over with already.
Allison rolled her window down. “If you need anything, call me. Okay?”
I nodded. “Will do.”
“Promise?”
I sighed. “Yep. I promise.”
“Same goes for me.”
“Thanks, Michael.”
Then Allison rolled up her window and the two of them took off.
I stood in the driveway, watching them fade away. Watching them ride off into their own little world. I used to do that on Clint’s bike. I used to wrap my arms around him and cling to him as we rode around town. Or back to his house. Or back to my house. The horizon had been for our taking. Life had been ours to grasp. And now, I stood alone in my driveway. Watching my two best friends who were absolutely in love pave their own path into the sunset.
While I stood there.
Alone.
Like I’d always been in my life.
7
Clinton
Midnight.
As I checked my cell phone for the time, midnight stared back at me. Midnight, on a school night, and I still wasn’t asleep. I’d taken pain medication. I’d taken a sleep aid. And here I lay, staring at my fucking ceiling.
Wondering about Rae.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Everything reminded me of her, and I hated it. I wanted it to be over. Every single part of this painful journey reminded me why I didn’t do the fucking relationship thing. The pain in my broken heart reminded me of why I fucked and kept moving. Why I took what I wanted and gave very little back in return.
Because this was what heartbreak felt like.
I did it for her own good, though.
I rolled over onto my side. Despite the pain in my face plate, I buried myself into the pillow. I stared at the wall, giving myself yet another muted surface to look at as my mind spiraled. I wanted to call Rae and tell her about all of the things I’d researched. All the possibilities that were apparently out there for me. And if she wanted to, she could be part of that. I wanted those words to come out of my mouth. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her. How much I wanted her. How much I needed her.
How much I love her.
I sighed as I rolled onto my back again. I was a stomach sleeper. So I knew I wouldn't sleep well. Or hard. But I wanted to sleep a little bit, at least. While my father wasn’t at the house still. I didn’t know his condition at the hospital. Frankly, I didn’t care. Hell, I didn’t give a shit if the hospital kept him for weeks on end because of complications stemming from the night before. So long as it kept him out of this house.
And away from us.
Rae could be over more.
I growled at the thoughts racing through my mind. I turned over onto my other side and grabbed my phone again. 12:06. I’d killed six entire minutes doing nothing but burying myself in my own thoughts.
Why can’t it be six entire hours?
I tossed my phone back onto the bedside table. I snuggled down underneath the covers and closed my eyes. Maybe if I faked being asleep, my body would eventually slip into it. I mean, everyone said Fake it until you make it. Maybe that shit actually worked.
So I screwed my eyes shut.
Rae’s face bombarded my memories. Her laughter echoed in the caverns of my ears. And I swore I felt her lips against mine. That soft plumpness pushing against me. My eyes ripped open. I panted softly for air. I rolled over and reached for my cell phone, trying to figure out what time it was.
One-fifteen in the morning.
I tossed my cell phone onto the pillow next to my head. Then I closed my eyes. At least it worked; pretending to sleep led to sleep. Not a restful sleep, though. I didn’t want to see Rae in my dreams. I didn’t want to relive the beauty of her body before waking up and finding myself in an empty bed. I couldn't take it. My heart couldn't tolerate it.
Should’ve thought about that before leaving her.
I growled as I turned to the side. I picked up another pillow and pressed it against my ear. I blocked myself away from the world, hoping it would all fade away with time. But the further I sank into my mattress, the more my mind swirled with thoughts of her. How was school? Did she have a lot of homework? What did we talk about in history? What did she do after school today? Did she have to work? Did she get home safely?
Does she miss me?
I peeked my eye open and saw my phone sitting there. Taunting me. Mocking me. Whispering things in my ear. Call her. Just once. It’ll be okay. Once you hear her voice, you can sleep easily.
I almost caved, too.
Instead, I turned over onto my other side. I sandwiched my aching face between two pillows and forced my eyes to close. I drew in deep breaths, helping to push away memories of her. My mind fell blank. As my medication finally took hold, I felt myself actually drifting off to sleep. I welcomed it with open arms. I welcomed the pain medication as it continued to dull the ache in my bones. And as I hovered between sleepiness and being awake, I felt myself sigh.
I need to get out of this fucking town.
My mind gave way to thoughts of my future. Darkness swallowed me whole and dragged me under. I saw the list I’d made rushing behind my eyes. Reminding me of all the choices I had at my disposal, despite my insistence that I didn’t. Community colleges and jobs that paid for schooling and only required a high school diploma. Entire lives I’d plotted out that were attainable for me the second I could get away from my father.
So many pieces soared around in my head.
For instance, would my father still be legally obligated to hand over my trust fund? I knew he had one set up for me. But could he take that away? It was technically mine. The second I turned eighteen, I gained control of it. I mean, he still lorded over it. Watched my every move with it. But I still technically had access to it. Could I shift that money into another account without his consent? Could I withdraw it and stash it somewhere so he couldn't take it back if he wanted?
The last thing before I got swept under by sleep was making a mental note. I needed to look into banking laws and call a few people so they could answer some questions.
Then, she appeared again.
“Clint?”
I turned around. “Rae?”
“Hey, Clint!”
I furrowed my brow. “What are you doing here?”
She paused. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? You called me.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure you butt-dialed me while you were moaning my name.”
A grin spread across her face and I looked down. And as the world tilted over on itself, I found my legs naked. Spread. With my cock resting in my hand. Rae’s face darkened and she licked her lips, causing electricity to shoot through my body.
“I uh, I don’t know where—”
Rae giggled. “Looks like you could use some help.”
I panted. “Are you—willing to help?”
She quirked an eyebrow. “I can’t believe you even have to ask that question.”
In a flash, she was on top of me. Dressed in an outfit completely different from before. Her beautiful skin, softly sunkissed with summer’s grace, was draped in red
lingerie. A bra with her tits spilling out. A thong that emphasized her curves. A lacy robe slipped down her arms as she straddled me, gazing into my eyes. My cock pulsed in my hand. I felt it leaking as it begged to be within her. And as her hands fell against my chest, I licked my lips.
“How’s this for help?”
Her lips fell to mine and I wrapped my arms around her. Both of them. Leaving my cock to do as it wished. Her warmth drew me in. Her taste reminded me of the drug she’d become. I rolled her over, grunting as I pinned her beneath me.
Then I ripped that thong clear off her body.
“Clint!”
“You’re mine, Rae.”
She gasped as my lips fell to her neck.
I raked my teeth along her skin, pinning her wrists above her head as I kissed down her chest, feeling her excess fill the divots of my body. I brought her hands to my hair and had her fist the locks I’d grown out just so she could cling to me. And as I kissed my way down her body, I sucked against her skin, leaving marks that made me grin as she jumped and darted around.
“Clint. Oh, that tickl—! Oh, you—Clint, fuck.”
I tossed her legs over my shoulders and settled in for a meal. Her scent filled my nostrils, letting loose the animal within its cage. I dove between her thighs. I felt her arousal coating my cheeks. I lapped until she shivered. Until she bucked ravenously against my face. I slipped my hands underneath her ass cheeks. I squeezed them, lifting her hips to my face. Feasting on the buffet of her body as her legs locked out against my back.
“Clint!”
I lapped heavily against her slit as she shook for me. I looked up, watching as her tits bounced for my viewing pleasure. Her skin flushed. Her back arched. Her sounds became choked as my tongue continued its assault. I didn’t let up. I flicked her, faster. Harder. Visibly shaking her as I slowly lowered her back to the bed.
“No. No. Clint. I can’t. No. I can’t. Clint. Please. No.”
I paused. “No?”
But she fisted my hair and pulled me back, causing me to chuckle against her pussy lips.
“More, please.”
Her soft whimpers filled me with longing. The juice she offered me filled my stomach with need. My cock pulsed against the bedsheets and I started rutting, fucking their softness as I slid one finger into Rae’s beautiful body. I crooked my digit and watched her jaw fall open. Her heels pressed into my back as she arched her hips closer to my mouth. Wanting everything I had for her.
So I gave it to her.
“Holy fucking hell.”
Her growls encompassed me. I rocked harder against the mattress. I slid another finger inside her beautiful body, slowly working against her walls. I tickled the inside of her pussy. I felt her losing control of her body. Her toes curled and her body flushed against as broken syllables fell from her lips.
But I understood one of them. The only syllable I really wanted to hear.
“Come. Come. Come. Come.”
She sprayed me and I chuckled with delight. I stuffed her full of my fingers before letting my pinky wander. Her thighs were drenched. My neck glistened with her mark. I lapped her swollen nub deeply, giving her a chance to recover as she heaved for air. Her hands fell away from my hair. She lay there, sprawled out. Ready for me to devour in any way I wished.
My pinky pressed against her puckered hole.
“Clint?”
My eyes found hers. “Yes?”
“I’ve never—I don’t—”
I slowly rimmed her asshole with my fingertips, watching her gasp. Listening to her sigh. I felt her ass release, ushering me in as I breached her virginal hole. Goosebumps traveled along my body. Heat rose at the base of my ballsack. She quivered around my fingers, moaning for more as I sank my fingers all the way into her body.
“That’s it. That’s my beautiful girl.”
“Oh, Clint.”
“Take it, Rae. Take what you want.”
“I don’t know if I can come again.”
“I know you can. I know you’ve got one more for me.”
“Please, I can’t. It feels too good.”
“I’m not stopping until you come for me again.”
She whimpered as I fucked her with my fingers. In, and out. Over and over as I watched her tremble. Her body was mine to do with what I wished. Her curves were flushed with the pleasure only I brought her. I wrapped my hand around my cock and stroked with delight. Her hips bucked against my hands as my thumb fell against her clit. I circled it softly, watching her eyes roll back. I stroked my cock to the rhythm of her hips, feeling that heady sensation finally taking over.
“Rae. I love you. I love you so fucking much.”
8
Raelynn
Brm! Brm! Brm! Brm! Brm! Brm!
My hand slammed against my cell phone, and I didn’t know if I’d snoozed the alarm or turned it off. Either way, I rolled over, burying myself underneath the covers as I drifted back to sleep. I didn’t struggle with sleep, either. All my body wanted to do was sleep. Sleep, cry, and sleep some more. I didn’t want to do homework. I didn’t give a shit about classes. Day two of absolute misery, and it threatened to swallow the whole of my future.
Because I didn’t even give a shit about graphic design anymore.
I hadn’t drawn in days. Which was unheard of. There were no doodles in the margins of my notes and textbooks. Mostly because I wasn’t cracking open my textbooks or taking notes in class. There were no faint pen outlines on my arms of doodles I’d done before and after school. Because it took too much energy to pick up that pen. To trace those lines. To come up with an image I wanted to draw.
I was scared I’d end up drawing Clint’s face everywhere.
Brm! Brm! Brm! Brm! Brm! Brm!
“Fucking alarm.”
I slammed my hand against my phone again before a knock came at my door. I threw the covers off my head, my hair falling into my face. I blew at the tendrils, slowly working them out of my vision. And as I heaved a heavy sigh, I heard my mother’s voice through the door.
“It’s time to get up, honey. You have to leave in twenty minutes.”
I sighed. “Great.”
I threw the covers off my body and slowly eased myself out of bed. Every step I took, I groaned. Every time I lifted my arms, I grunted. I hadn’t even bothered to change into pajamas last night. I still wore the clothes I’d worn to that dumbass sushi dinner. And they stank. I wrinkled my nose as I tossed them into the hamper, knowing damn good and well I’d have to do laundry after school today.
Then I shuffled to the bathroom in nothing but my underwear.
I cleaned myself up and splashed water in my face. I washed myself down with a soapy washcloth at the sink before drying myself off. I’d be late to school, but I didn’t care. First time for everything, I guess. I slathered on the deodorant and threw my hair into a messy bun. I didn’t have time to do anything else with it. Like wash it.
“Rae?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m coming, Mom.”
“Just making sure you’re up.”
I threw on some clothes and made my way downstairs, hoping beyond all hope I didn’t stink. I’d have to change my bedsheets, too. But that could be left for another time. The smell of breakfast wafted up my nose. Bacon and pancakes, which only meant one thing.
“Morning, tiger.”
Fucking D.J. “Morning.”
Mom smiled. “You sleep well?”
I snickered. “Sure.”
D.J. slid me a glass of orange juice. “Your mother asked you a question. You don’t have to cock such an attitude.”
I pushed the glass away. “When are you going to get it through your head that I’m not your daughter?”
“Rae.”
“I’m just trying to be a help to her. And I know she needs help with you sometimes.”
“D.J.!”
I scoffed. “Yeah, whatever.”
D.J. stabbed at his pancakes. “I care for your mother. I’ll be around f
or a while. We might as well both get used to it.”
“Oh, really? So, do you frequently beat on and bruise up things you care about?”
Mom pulled my chair out from the table. “That’s enough. Come over here.”
I rolled my eyes and followed her into the living room. What the fuck she was upset about, I’d never know. Even if D.J. married my mother, he still legally wasn’t my father. So he didn’t have a place to tell me what to do or give me some sort of morning pep talk.
“Can you make it quick? I’m going to be late for school.”
Mom narrowed her eyes. “You’re already late. So suck it up and listen.”
I shook my head. “No, you suck it up and listen. I don’t know what happened in your life to make you think you have to stick around with a man like him. A man that beats on you and makes you feel like shit. I don’t know if you really do feel like you can’t provide for this family or find a job that pays the bills, but it’s not my issue anymore. And neither is he. If you want to ruin your life with a man like him, go ahead. But that doesn’t mean I have to accept it or bring him into some fold. For years, Mom, it’s been this way. For years, you’ve turned to men like D.J. for comfort and solace when all they do is stab you in the back and make you cry. And instead of bettering yourself and trying to pull yourself out of whatever bullshit mindset this is, you keep ending up with these guys. You keep pursuing them. You keep going out and getting drunk, and you drag me along with it.”
Her eyes widened. “You take that back.”
I shook my head. “No, I won’t. Because you need to hear it. You’re sick, Mom. Your head isn’t right. And until you get your head right, your life is always going to be like this. But just because you’re willing to accept this doesn’t mean I have to. I’m not listening to D.J. I’m not accepting him into my life. And I’m sure as hell not holding my tongue any longer in this house.”
“I think you’re done speaking to your mother that way.”
D.J. came around the corner as Mom’s eyes welled with tears.