by Hope Hart
You’ll find someone else. Someone who’ll actually want to be with you. Someone who’ll treat you like a partner, making decisions with you, instead of for you.
But I don’t want anything else.
From the moment I laid eyes on Methi, my heart said mine. I knew I wanted him to be the one I gave my virginity to, one day when I was older. I’d grow up, and we’d explore the universe, fight the Grivaths, maybe even discover new planets. We’d have so much fun, so many adventures, and at the end of it all, we’d go into the last adventure, the big final adventure together.
But Methi doesn’t want me. He says I’m too young.
Sure, he tells it like he’s doing me a favor. Like he’s looking out for me, stepping aside so I can have my own adventures.
But what he’s really saying is I’m not enough. I’m just a kid, one who can’t make her own decisions, and he’s looking for a full-grown woman.
I brush a tear off my face as I sit in the control center. The temperature has dropped even further, but I don’t want to sit by the fire yet. I need to rebuild my defenses before I see Methi again. I’ll reach deep down and find a cocky grin, an arched eyebrow, and he’ll never know that he’s broken my heart.
Watching my father leave taught me one thing.
When a man really loves you, he stays. He fights for you. He’d never leave you because he would never want you to feel this way.
Unless you can’t be loved. Unless maybe there’s something in you that’s broken, unable to be fixed, and he can see it.
My father never tried to get in touch after he left. I know my mom, and she would never have kept him from me if he wanted to see me. He walked out and never returned.
I never told my mom, but when I was thirteen, I decided to find him. It was ridiculously easy, and after few hours of hacking, I found him in Tulsa.
I picked up the phone, hand shaking. This is it, I thought. He’s going to hear my voice and realize just how much he misses me.
A woman answered the phone. For a moment, I froze, speechless. No matter how many variations of this call I’d run through, for some reason, this hadn’t occurred to me.
“Hello? Hello?”
I shook myself from my shock and cleared my throat.
“Uh, hi. Can I speak to David, please?”
“Sure,” she said, “one moment. David, phone for you. Hunter, you put that down right now. What did I say?”
I froze at the sound of childish giggles, even as a male voice carried over the noise.
“Listen to your mother, or there will be no TV after dinner.”
“Daddy, daddy, pick me up.”
“One second, buddy, let me take this call. Hello?”
I’d sat there in silence, stunned. And then I gently replaced the phone and never called again.
My father hadn’t been looking for me. He hadn’t even thought of me. He’d moved on, found a new family, and I had at least one brother I’d never meet.
We were disposable to him.
I don’t know why he left us. But I’d always thought that it was between him and my mom. Maybe he hadn’t contacted me because he’d been in an accident, or he was in prison, or had to move countries, or died during the invasion.
But he didn’t contact me because he didn’t want to. It wasn’t just mom that he’d left. It was me. And it wasn’t that he didn’t want to be a father, it was that he didn’t want to be a father to me.
Methi is the same. He’s wrapping it in a nice bow, but it’s not my age that’s holding him back, or even his promise to Harlow. He doesn’t want to be mated to me.
I stare at the mating bands on my wrist, bile filling my mouth. Consequences. There they are, right in front of my eyes. I’d thought that if Methi started mating me, he’d see that we were perfect together.
Instead, I’ll wear the evidence that we’re nowhere near perfect for each other, on my wrists for the rest of my life.
I sigh, wiping the last tear off my face. If we don’t get this ship off the ground, that life may not be very long at all. I force myself to get up and check how Methi is doing with the landing gear. I just need to pour the pouq on the thruster, file it down, and check for any other microscopic cracks.
I step past the fire, which is down to just a few embers. We’re almost out of wood again, and I glance out the window to see if Methi has collected a pile when my heart stops.
Methi is surrounded by massive, furry beasts.
Chapter Twelve
Meghan
Oh, God.
“Okay, think, Meghan. Think.”
For some reason, Methi is standing with his hands up, instead of taking all of them out with his—
Blaster.
My head whirls and I almost throw up when I see it lying by the door. He left it behind for me, like the most hardheaded insanely overprotective and illogical male in the universe.
I grind my teeth, furious at him, and then I’m screaming as one of the aliens hits him across the face, and he falls to the ground, spitting blood as he gets to his knees. Two of the aliens grab his arms, and I cry out as one of them sucker punches him again, hitting him in the gut.
I’m hitting the door release before I’m conscious that I’m doing it, and I shove the blaster in the waistband of my pants, covering it with my shirt.
Methi looks up, his eyes dark and dangerous as I stand at the top of the ladder. For a second, he looks so much like the way he used to, completely exasperated with whatever trouble I’ve managed to get into, and then he ruins it with his biting tone.
“What are you doing? Get back in the ship.”
I ignore him, focusing my attention on the beasts. They’re huge, but I realize that while they’re already pretty hairy, they’re also wrapped in thick furs. Their skin is impossibly white, almost glowing, and when the asshole who hit Methi looks up, his eyes are slitted, reminding me eerily of a snake.
“You guys lost? The teddy bears’ picnic is back that way,” I gesture toward the forest, attempting to sound confident. In reality, they’re holding all the cards. They obviously took Methi by surprise, and while two of them are bruised and bleeding, there are six or seven in the group, giving him no chance.
Unless he’d taken the fucking blaster.
If we live through this, I’m going to kill him.
“You have landed on our planet without permission,” the leader says, his voice a low growl.
“We ran out of fuel. We didn’t mean to land here.”
“A likely story.”
I gesture at the barren, icy wilderness around us. “Why else would we be here?”
All of the aliens growl, and I realize I’ve offended them. Good work, Meghan.
“Look,” I say. “All we need is to buy some fuel and we’ll get out of your way.”
The leader slowly shakes his head. “You landed without permission and have outstayed your welcome. Now you will be taken to our King.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna hard pass on that, thanks.”
“I was not asking.”
“Let him go.”
“Perhaps we will just take you instead.”
Methi loses it at that, and before I know it he’s head butting one of the alien’s holding him, gouging him with his horns. He reaches out almost casually and another alien screams as his face turns red with blood.
His claws, I realize, trembling. He fights like a wild thing, and it almost feels like we have a chance until the leader pulls out a weapon of his own. He aims it at Methi and then I’m screaming, pulling my blaster out and aiming it at all of them.
“You shoot him and you die,” I scream. “I’ll take you all out from up here.”
The leader freezes and cocks his head. I press a button on my blaster, readying it for a lethal shot. No one gets to hurt Methi.
“You might be able to kill us, but we will kill the Arcav as well. And then my King will send another hunting party, but this one will be ordered to bring him your head.”
&nb
sp; I almost gag at the thought. We’re in deep shit, but I don’t lower my weapon. What would Eve do?
I have a sudden pang of homesickness so sharp that I almost burst into tears. I don’t want to be here, trapped on this planet with scary aliens. I wish neither of us had ever left Arcavia, and then we’d still be there, enjoying our lives.
“Choose, female,” the leader says.
Methi stares straight back at him, as if daring him to shoot, and I want to scream at him.
If it was a matter of just taking out this group, I know he’d tell me to do it. But not only would I never risk Methi’s life that way, but more aliens would just come back for me anyway.
“Please,” I beg. “Just let us go.”
The leader grins, well aware that he has won, and I drop the blaster.
Then, it’s like the world is on fast-forward and slow motion at the same time. The leader hits Methi in the head so hard that I’m certain he’s dead, and I’m screaming, howling, crying, even as I run down the stairs toward him. I don’t even get close as an alien grabs me, tossing me over his shoulder like I weigh nothing. I’m sobbing as I reach for Methi, but they simply drag him behind them like he’s a wild animal they’re bringing home to butcher.
There are some moments in life that you’d do anything to prevent. The kind of moments where you feel like you’re floating somewhere above your body, watching someone else’s life unfold. The trip to wherever they’re taking us is like that. Eventually, they pick Methi up and two of the aliens carry him, allowing them to travel faster.
I’m constantly craning my head, trying to catch sight of his chest, hoping to see it rise and fall. How much damage can an Arcav take without any healing? His original head injury was bad enough to give him amnesia, and these fuckers have hit him multiple times, the last one hard enough to kill a human guy.
What if he never wakes up?”
I’m inconsolable, screaming my grief against the alien’s back. Eventually, I devolve into hiccupping sobs, until I’m covered in tears and snot, which I make sure to wipe all over the alien’s furs.
I don’t know how long they walk for, but eventually we begin moving higher, and my shivering increases. I can’t die like this, useless and flung over some asshole’s shoulder. The group stops walking, and I hear something move in front of me. I jerk in surprise as I realize we’re walking into the mountain.
It’s much warmer in here, and I try to get a look around, but then we’re moving down into what feels like hell itself, dark and small and damp. It’s some sort of spiral staircase, and I feel so nauseous at the constant dizzying sight that I close my eyes. As much as I’d love to puke on one of these guys, I can’t afford to lose what little food I have in my stomach.
I’m dumped on a stone floor, and Methi lands beside me. Cold, steel doors clang shut, and the aliens leave without another word.
Meghan
Methi takes forever to wake up. I search every inch of our cell, desperately seeking any way to escape, and then finally curl up against him, finding a tiny bit of comfort as I watch his chest rise and fall.
Eventually, I must fall asleep, because I blink my eyes open blearily when I feel movement, meeting the shockingly clear violet of Methi’s eyes.
“Are you okay?” My voice is hoarse from screaming, and it feels like I have shards of glass stuck in my throat.
“Yes.”
He’s not, of course. That gorgeous face of his is covered in blood, one of his horns has a chunk gouged from it, and I’m sure his brain feels scrambled.
He shifts, face tensing from the pain, and I reach forward, hoping to help somehow. He manages to sit up, leaning against the wall, even as his face drains of color at the effort. I’m panicking about possible internal bleeding when his low voice sounds.
“We need to find a way out of here.”
I gesture at the tiny cell and the thick bars keeping us locked in.
“I’ve already looked, there aren’t even sharp rocks in here. We’re completely at their mercy.” My stomach churns uneasily at the thought. What the hell are they going to do with us?
“Listen,” Methi rasps, and I wince as I search his poor, bleeding face. “No matter what happens or where we are, you do what it takes to survive, do you understand? If you have a chance to run, you take it. If you have to leave me, you do it.”
“Or what?” I hiss, furious. He thinks I could run off and leave him?
“Or I’ll turn your butt red,” he says mildly.
I scowl at him. “Try it. I’m not leaving you. I’m still pissed that you left the blaster behind. What the hell were you thinking?”
Arcav eyes tend to glow with heightened emotion, and Methi’s are like violet headlights as he glowers at me.
“You will do nothing to draw attention to yourself,” he declares. “You will be still and silent, and will not say or do anything that will encourage them to hurt you.”
“I’m not an idiot,” I snap, and he smiles, but not like it’s funny.
“Really? Then what were you thinking, leaving the safety of the ship and dropping that blaster?”
“I was thinking that I needed to help you!”
“You do not. You have one job, and that is to keep yourself safe.”
I sneer at him. “You’re not the boss of me,” I tell him. “You’re not my boyfriend, my mate, or even my friend at this point, so why would I listen to you?”
His eyes flare, and then he brings himself back under control and nods.
“That is right. I am nothing to you, so you will not risk your life with such foolishness again.”
“Oh yeah? And you would’ve left me down there, surrounded by aliens, right?”
A muscle jumps in his cheek and I admire his self-restraint, even as he stares me down.
“Of course not.”
“Hmm. And why is that?”
“Because you are too important to risk!” he bellows, getting to his knees. I jolt forward but he’s already using the wall to get to his feet, his expression as fierce as I’ve ever seen it.
I cross my arms in front of my chest, confused and pissed off.
“And you’re not?”
“No,” he grits out, and a lump forms in my throat. He truly believes that. He believes that he’s not important, that he can be risked, and I can’t.
I don’t understand. He told me he didn’t want to be my mate.
This is one of those times where logic is failing me.
Once, when I was around six years old, I came back from my neighbor’s house with tears streaming down my face.
“Meghan, baby, what’s wrong?” Mom had crouched down, concern written all over her face as she took me in her arms.
“Mrs Jackson took her dog to the vet to be put down! She killed him!”
Mom sighed. “I’m sorry. That’s sad news.”
“She killed him, mama! Sonny loved her!”
“Honey, you’re a genius, which is going to give you so many opportunities that other kids will never have. But you have to remember that human beings are driven by emotions. You can’t just look at the action that someone takes. You have to look at the emotion behind it.”
“But Mrs Jackson wasn’t crying! She just left him there!”
“Why do you think she did that?”
“She doesn’t want her dog anymore. I told her we could’ve taken him,” I sniffed, “but she said I had to go home.”
Mom winced, wiping away more of my tears.
“What makes you think she didn’t want Sonny anymore?”
Mom waited patiently while I stood there, brow furrowed. This was an ongoing problem. I was already in high school, so intelligent in so many ways, but understanding people was sometimes impossible for me.
I wracked my brain, trying to fit the pieces into my puzzle.
Mrs Jackson wasn’t crying. But her face was pale when she returned home, and her eyes had widened like I’d hit her when I asked her why she didn’t want her dog. Then, the
y’d flared in anger and she’d told me it was time to leave
It didn’t make sense. Mrs Jackson loved her dog. She called him a good boy, and took him on long walks, even when it was raining.
“Was he sick?” I whispered, and mom smiled softly.
“I don’t know, Meghan, but it’s likely. Sometimes, we do things for our pets and other people because it’s what’s best for them, even when it hurts.”
I stare at Methi, realization hitting me. I’d later found out that Sonny had been riddled with tumors. She’d put him down so he wouldn’t go through a long and painful death.
It was what was best for him, even though it broke Mrs Jackson’s heart.
“You son of a bitch. You Golden Retrievered me!”
“Excuse me?”
“You do want to be my mate, you lying liar! You pretended like it I was too young for you!”
He clenches his teeth. “You are.”
“Oh yeah?” I’m so mad, that if he wasn’t standing there bleeding in front of me, I’d kick his ass.
“Yes.”
“You’re a fucking coward.”
I turn to pace, wishing for nothing more than some space away from Methi right now.
And then I squeak as I’m spun, pushed against the cool wall, and Methi’s mouth is on mine. Harsh. Hot. Punishing. He kisses me like he’d end worlds for me. He kisses me like he’d kill anyone in our way, for the rest of our lives. He kisses me like he’s a barbarian, conquering the territory that should’ve always been his.
His lips gentle, and he’s kissing me like he missed me, like I’m the most precious thing he’s ever seen, or heard, or touched. He kisses me like I’m the reason he wakes up every day, like he can’t not kiss me, and like he’s been holding onto this kiss, cherishing it, and saving it for me, for years.
I gasp as he pulls away, both of us trembling.
Methi
We lie on the floor of our cell in silence, and I pull Meghan into my arms when she begins to shiver. I am no longer fighting it, fighting her. If we are to die, we will do it together, as we should.