Uschi

  Four bolts of pressurized sperm pelted Vanessa on the chin in the space of three seconds. She threw her head back in alarm, while fifth and sixth payloads shot high into the air, descending stickily onto Vanessa’s angular face.

  ‘Fuck,’ gasped Roger, ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’

  ‘Neither was I,’ said Vanessa through a gloopy lipload of semen strands. She withdrew slowly, but the friction of the retreating breastmeat provoked further issuance from Roger’s happy cock, pumping freely into the heavily wobbling cleavage. A thick drape of white cum stretched from the spasmodic organ to Vanessa’s lustrous, exquisitely-formed bosom as she stood and took a couple of steps back. ‘Are you finished now?’

  Roger nodded, dizzy. ‘I think so,’ he said, adding rather dumbly, ‘Thanks for that.’

  Uschi, phone conversation finished (even if it had been real and not tactically staged), returned and handed Vanessa the box of tissues from the sideboard. ‘Good work, Vanessa,’ she said, helping the cum-strewn girl mop up. ‘You’ve well and truly drained him. He can now go about the bra measurements without getting horny.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ asked Vanessa, placing a semen-sodden Kleenex on the table and reaching for a fresh one. ‘He’s still got zat big erection.’

  ‘Residual arousal,’ said Uschi with an air of professional expertise. ‘But we can try wanking him off again in a minute to be sure.’

  Roger fastened his belt, leaving his cock sticking rudely out of his open flies. He couldn’t be bothered with the usual aggravation of trying to fit that big stupid cock of his into his trousers, all he wanted to do was get down to the business of sizing up those fresh young French bazoomas, and in any case he was feeling a second orgasm surge already within his barely-depleted ballsack.

  ‘Raise your arm please, Vanessa,’ he said. The girl complied, the action causing her enormous breasts, now criss-crossed with silvery trails of congealing semen residue, to elevate to even loftier altitude. Her flat nipples stared upwards and outwards, the slight crease beneath her voluptuous jugs spread upwards, the swell of her breasts now an uninterrupted curve billowing outwards with no sag whatsoever.

  He took the tape measure and past it around Vanessa’s svelte ribcage, inhaling the sweet, pungent air of his own emissions exuding from the warm, jiggly mass of tit inches from his face. 26 inches. ‘Your band size is 30,’ said Roger. He had done his homework.

  ‘Zat does not sound so big,’ sniffed Vanessa.

  ‘But now we measure the cup size, that’s the important part where your employment contract is concerned,’ said Roger. His cock stiffened and yearned upwards again toward those pillowy orbs. His actions now dictated entirely by his horny dick, he found himself placing his hands on Vanessa’s breasts. They felt incredible, a unique mixture of soft and firm. ‘Please keep your arms in the air,’ he muttered, his breathing getting heavy as his palms and fingers explored Vanessa’s ample naked chest.

  ‘Is zis part of ze measuring procedure?’ asked Vanessa doubtfully.

  ‘Um, yes,’ said Roger, then focused his mind once again on the task in hand and passed the measuring tape around Vanessa’s back and over the fullest, outermost circumference of her proudly jutting bosom, just beneath her high-set, soft nipples. He read the measurement, then read it again. Forty-four fucking inches. That made her a size thirty K. ‘Uschi, your assistance please.’

  Uschi gleefully resumed her position at Roger’s side and grabbed his cock with a deft hand.

  ‘What?’ said Vanessa, lowering her arms as Roger took the measuring tape from her boobs and set it woozily to one side. ‘What did it say? You need to cum again? Already?’

  ‘Jiggle them,’ said Uschi, stroking Roger’s twitchy shaft up and down, the still-slick semen providing convenient lubrication.

  ‘Jiggle…?’

  ‘Your tits. Like this.’ Uschi gave her own a shimmy by way of demonstration as she wanked Roger off. ‘It will help finish him off quicker.’

  ‘Ah, I see,’ said Vanessa. ‘Like so?’ And, gyrating her shoulders she set her wobbly breasts into the wildest, sexiest shake that either Roger or Uschi had ever seen. The soft, perky, outsized globes quivered and undulated in vast figure of eight movements, colliding loudly with one another as they followed their independent trajectories.

  ‘Oh Christ,’ panted Roger. ‘Oh fuck! Your tits! They’re too much, Vanessa!’ He felt the orgasm build, under Uschi’s practised direction. A rush of pleasure coursed through his body, his testicles began to quiver under the mounting pressure. ‘Ungghhh!’ Uschi’s fingers were manipulating the purple crown of his boner when the multisensory levels of arousal peaked, overloading his organ which geysered its second series of cumloads in powerful, plentiful fountains of cream, all of which splattered onto Vanessa’s turbulent shelf of careening tit, before partly ricocheting off around the room.

  Vanessa, still reacting in a way neither Roger nor Uschi could have expected, descended once again to allow her heavy globes to jostle and tumble around the long, thick cock that continued to spunk into her tight, wobbling cleavage while Uschi slowly wanked the base of its shaft, her hand thumping back and forth between Roger’s draining balls and Vanessa’s jiggly jugs. ‘Roger, I had no clue zat my bosoms had zis effect on you. You should have said long ago.’

  Fully spent, Roger staggered backwards into a chair. His cock, finally wilting, lolled, long, thick, and rubbery, from his trousers while his balls shrivelled and retreated, tight and wrinkled.

  ‘So?’ said Vanessa, running a hand through her long straight hair as her jugs jounced to a gradual standstill above her flat stomach. ‘What’s ze bra size?’

  Uschi looked at Roger, too, awaiting the outcome with interest.

  Roger furrowed his brow, the onset of a migraine troubling him. ‘You’ve nothing to worry about,’ he said with a weak smile. ‘You’re a size 30C. Well under the limit. So you may continue to come to work braless as often as you please, with no fear of reprisal.’

  Uschi raised an eyebrow and folded her arms over her substantial, tailored bosom.

  ‘Is zat all?’ said Vanessa, looking down at her huge K-cup tits. ‘English bra sizes. I will never understand zem.’ And with that, she wiped the fresh cum from her tits, stretched her green vest back over them, licked her salty lips and left the meeting room, bosom bouncing as nature intended.

  ‘Well,’ said Uschi to Roger, now that the two of them were alone again. ‘Our little project is nearly finished. You’ve now seen the whole team’s tits, and you can complete your little spreadsheet of bra and nipple sizes. All that’s left is my bra size, and then it’s all over. How do you feel?’

  Roger stared at her. ‘Horny,’ he said.

  Chapter Eight

  When Roger thought of how everything had changed in his existence over the past few weeks, his emotions ran the gamut from misery to embarrassment to intense sexual arousal. An idle, predictable life surrounded by women he found physically attractive enough to populate the sexual fantasies he nurtured to help him unwind at the day’s end, had now been replaced with a feverishly stressful existence which seemed to yield extreme sexual encounters on an almost daily basis. His entire metabolism was in upheaval, his body craving nutrients at unexpected times, causing him to wake up starving in the middle of the night. Where once he slept like a baby, now he lived a zombie-like existence, half asleep, half alert to any busty bare-breastedness which may be foisted upon him unexpectedly. And where once he could cum just thinking about breasts, now he could only do so if breasts themselves were on hand to be ejaculated upon or between.

  And the architect of all his woes was Uschi. Uschi, the dusky, cackling Bavarian, she of the lavish ebony curls, chestnut eyes, olive skin, and matching pairs of plush, perky breasts and buttocks. She had robbed him of his victimless existence as a low-level voyeur, and drawn all the women around them into this sordid game. In his brief moments of post-ejaculatory sobriety, Roger wept inwardly at the appalling things he had done unde
r Uschi’s devilish influence, the trust and authority he had been compelled to misuse in the pursuit of… well, a few bra sizes that, had he really wanted, he could have found out through means less intrusive and contrived than those Uschi had dreamed up.

  What was she after, he wondered. If her plan had been to desexualise her own body and the bodies of her colleagues then she had failed spectacularly. Roger now didn’t just want to steal glances of cleavage, he wanted to thrust his huge cock – yes, huge, he now realised with filthy, animal pride – thrust it into that cleavage and fuck it until his thick white seed bubbled and erupted all over those extraordinary bosoms he had gathered around him so carefully.

  ‘What are you doing tonight, Roger darling?’ Uschi cornered him by the coffee machine. Before he could think of a plausible excuse, Uschi continued, ‘That’s right, you’re having me round for dinner. I’ll bring the wine. 7 o’clock work for you?’

  Roger bought a fillet steak and some green beans from the supermarket on the way home, and pre-heated the oven when he got in, then leapt into the shower to wash in preparation for… who knew. He gave his already thickening cock particular soapy attention. He wanted it pristine.

  He had already opened a long-neglected bottle of cheap red wine when Uschi arrived. She was still in her black culottes, cardigan, and patterned blouse from the office, but there was something about her that was different. Make-up, perhaps? Whatever it was, she looked horny as hell, her pouting lips heavy and full, her dark eyes tipsy with that curious slight squint women get in their eyes when they’re turned on.

  ‘So,’ she said, tossing handbag onto sofa. ‘Here we are.’

  ‘Here we are,’ said Roger awkwardly. ‘I’ll put the meat in the oven. How do you like your steak?’

  ‘Pink,’ said Uschi. ‘But there’s only one meat I’m interested in.’

  ‘Ah.’

  ‘Your cock.’

  ‘Yes, I got it. So… no dinner?’

  ‘Let’s fuck first.’

  In the bedroom, Uschi pushed Roger back on to the bed and got to work on his belt and trousers. The sight down her blouse of her breasts dangling in her bra had been enough to get Roger most of the way toward a full erection, and Uschi’s eyes gleamed as she ran the growing snake through her olive fingers and placed its head between her lips, sucking and licking it at once, like a quenelle of raspberry ice cream. She let it plop out, a mixture of drool and pre-cum falling loosely from her mouth. ‘This is it, Roger,’ she said. ‘This is the big trade off.’ And to Roger’s surprise, she took a tape measure from her cardigan pocket.

  ‘Wh-what’s that for?’ asked Roger in confusion. ‘You’re going to measure yourself? You don’t know your own bra size already?’

  ‘Oh Roger,’ she said, unspooling the reel of printed fabric, then clambering on to the bed and straddling his thighs. ‘This isn’t for me. It’s for you.’ She opened her cardigan and blouse, took them both off and threw them on the floor, then jiggled her lovely boobs in her black bra, watching Roger’s cock stiffen and lengthen in response. Still jiggling, she snapped open the hooks and let the undergarment fall from her breasts, casting it to the other side of the room.

  Roger had now seen Uschi’s breasts countless times, but the novelty showed no sign of wearing off, and all it took was some time away for them for his desire to build up again. They were, as far as he was concerned, utterly, utterly perfect. Not as big as Vanessa’s, nor as firm as Selina’s, but a vision of utter sensual perfection, their bulbous undersides eminently cuppable, those swollen, uptilted areolae begging to be sucked, the tight-set cleavage an invitation to slide deep within. He got so hard so quickly he saw stars in front of his eyes.

  ‘That’s the big hard-on I know and love,’ smirked Uschi, and held the measuring tape alongside it. ‘Oh Roger,’ she said, a fuck-hungry mist descending over her eyes. ‘Nine and a half inches. Oh how utterly marvellous.’

  ‘Um, why is that so important…?’

  ‘You’re not the only one with a fetish, Roger,’ said Uschi. ‘You’re not the only one with a spreadsheet.’

  Roger was taken aback. ‘Y-you’ve been keeping a spreadsheet, too?’

  ‘It’s fun, isn’t it?’ said Uschi, throwing the tape measure onto her clothes on the floor. She stood on the bed, towering over Roger as she wriggled her way out of trousers and knickers to reveal that lustrous bush of black pubic hair that crowned her plump, glistening pussy. ‘I see a guy with a big dick, and I’m not happy unless I know for sure. But, as you’ve discovered, after a while the theory just isn’t enough, and you need to move on to the practical side of it.’ She descended again, straddled Roger’s stomach, and reversed her crotch onto the tip of Roger’s dick, which slid inside her as she went.

  ‘Oh fuck!’ said Roger. It felt like nothing he had ever experienced, like a handjob, blowjob, and titfuck all rolled into one.

  Uschi’s eyes rolled, her mouth fell open, and she let out a groan of joy. ‘Roger, darling! Oh my God. Oh my God it’s so big I can’t fit it all in!’ But she was doing a very good job of trying, gyrating and wriggling and fucking his big rigid dick from every angle she could contort her hips into. ‘I’m sorry, I should have asked before doing this, but I just couldn’t wait any longer! You don’t mind, do you Roger?’

  ‘I… I, no of course not,’ Roger managed to say. ‘Your… your vagina feels incredible.’ He stared at her ample tits, jouncing as she rode him, and extended his hands to cup them, savouring that heavy, jellying wobble in his hungry, horny palms.

  ‘It’s too much, Roger, I’m going to cum!’ Uschi announced, leaning back to let the weight of her upper body push another inch of cock inside her, whereupon she babbled something in German that Roger did not understand. As she arched her back, her breasts stood up proudly to attention, free again from Roger’s probing fingers and wobbling with pleasure as Uschi writhed herself closer to orgasm. ‘I’m going to tell you my bra size on the count of three, and I want you to cum inside me.’

  ‘Oh my goodness.’

  ‘It’s okay, it’s okay, you can do it, I have a contraceptive device fitted. I want your cum in me!’ She adjusted the angle of her hips again, and now Roger could feel her plump buttocks on his balls as she descended the full length of his penis. Her tits were now dangling over her face, hot and heavy. She aimed a swaying nipple for his mouth, and he caught it in his lips, sucking wetly upon it so sensuously that she let out another desperate wail of ecstasy. ‘Oh yes, oh fuck yes, Roger! Suck that tit. Okay, are you ready? One…’

  Her cunt made two slippery descents down Roger’s iron shaft. Roger felt the orgasm boiling in his groin.

  ‘Two…’

  Roger switched to the other swinging tit, taking its puffy nipple into his drooling mouth. He could feel himself gushing pre-cum into Uschi. He couldn’t hold it any longer and felt the orgasm surging toward his cockhead deep inside her.

  ‘Three! Thirty-four E!’

  ‘Uuurrggghh,’ exclaimed Roger as his cock pulsated forth the most violent series of ejaculations he had ever felt in his life, filling young Uschi with his middle-aged virginity as those rounded hips fucked every last drop of it out of him. She wrenched her tit free from his mouth and sat back up again, writhing and wriggling while her 34E bosom wobbled gloriously before her, dark curls sweeping over her golden shoulders.

  She sat there for a few moments while Roger’s erection convulsed and twitched, then rose, letting the seemingly interminable column of cock slide, still rigid, out of the tight, slippery grip of her young cunt. She sat down on his thighs, and gazed fondly down at that big cock which she, it had turned out, fetishized and idolized as much as Roger obsessed over her breasts. ‘That felt good,’ she said at last, panting happily. Her face had a glow that rendered her impossibly pretty.

  Thirty-four E! thought Roger. The perfect number and the perfect letter. The golden ratio. Everything was right with the world. He wanted to kiss her, but he knew that wasn’t part of the arrangement. Thi
s was, it seemed, a mutual meeting of sexual eccentrics with an obsession for vital statistics. It was not the end of what Roger now realised was a profound loneliness in his life. Uschi would go back to her boyfriend, her own spreadsheet now complete, her own curiosity satisfied. She had been playing him all along, but that, he accepted, was the price he paid for having his own sexual fantasies come so viscerally to life.

  ‘Roger, you’re still so hard,’ Uschi said. ‘How do you feel? Are you alright?’

  ‘It’s just, I’m… I’m still so horny, Uschi. I get that you want my cock, but I … I want all of you. Every bit of you makes me want to cum so hard, not just your tits… all of you.’

  Uschi shook her head. ‘Naughty Roger, no falling in love, understand? But if you’re still turned on, let me help. You’ve earned this.’ And she leaned forward and let her soft, deep cleavage swallow Roger’s cock, shimmying her shoulders and giving him a soothing, post-coital tit-massage. ‘Does that make it better?’

  ‘I...I can’t complain, I suppose,’ said Roger, letting Uschi’s heavenly bosom titwank him in the direction of a second, gentler orgasm that finally cleared his pipes, spurting a series of thin, watery cumshots onto his chest. He hadn’t moved at all, simply lain back on the bed and let all of this happen to him. As with all of Uschi’s schemes these past few weeks, he had simply been along for the ride.

  Finally, that night, he slept.

  Back in the office, the project now completed, Uschi went back to pretty much ignoring him, and Roger wondered if everything could go back to the way it had been before that unfortunate contrivance of circumstances had caused the young woman to stumble upon his sordid bra size spreadsheet on the company shared drive.

  But how could it? He had seen a member staff’s bare breasts on live video, then had helped facilitate the jiggly wardrobe malfunction of another’s, had shared a nude sauna with still another, manhandled nude breasts, fitted a different pair for a bra, actually titfucked the youngest (under the most reprehensible pretext), and finally had full penetrative intercourse with the woman who had started it all. How could he see any of these people differently? How could they see him differently? Everything had changed.