by Paul Vayro
Chapter Eleven
“It just looks like a big ball of grass to me.” Brick wasn’t impressed with his first glimpse of Velos 19. Hugo offered his riposte.
“That 'ball of grass' represents the nearest thing to home many people have. I’ll never forget the day Verros Flexx blew up the planet of my birth. I vowed there and then to stop anyone going through what I did. I may have only been a young adult at the time but that day my hormones stepped up to the challenge and made me the man mountain of good you see before you.” The speech was highly emotional and informative, yet entirely unnecessary and completely out of place with the mood and manner of the room.
“Erm….” Brick was unsure what response to give, or if one was even needed, so ploughed on with his next comment about the planet. “It looks very small to be the hub of all things heroic. Or is it some trick of space perspective?”
Hugo continued his over the top approach. “Size means nothing when a heroic heart beats so steadily beneath its surface.” Spiritwind grinned agreement from behind his chicken and bacon wrap, motioning towards himself with his eyes in an effort to apply the analogy to his misperceived height.
“I’m sure it counts for something if a fleet of ships approach with the intent of wiping it from existence.” Brick wasn’t as easy to please.
“Velos 19 holds more than a strong heart-beat in defence. Beneath the meek exterior lies a mind the greatest warrior could only dream of possessing.” The smile suggested the greatest warrior comment referred to him. Hugo continued, once he felt sure everyone understood his inference. “Any vessel that comes within viewing distance is scanned for evil intent. If even the slightest hint of such a dastardly notion is present then the whole craft is blasted with the Doesn’t Matter Ray.” Hugo stopped mid-sentence, inviting requests for him to divulge further. It merely prompted debate between Brick and Spiritwind.
“Must be some kind of anti-matter ray?” Brick took the first swipe at truth.
“I thought anti-matter rays were the weapons of made up tales, to give the hero a cool sounding gun?”
“Well anti-matter’s real.” Brick didn’t speak with full confidence.
“Is it?” Spiritwind leapt on the doubt.
“Theoretically.” Brick clung on with the scientists well used get out clause.
“In theory a bee can’t fly but you don’t see them being fired at bad guys in movies.” Spiritwind’s point didn’t get the chance of response. Hugo had grown agitated at waiting to be the centre of attention and answered his own question.
“The Doesn’t Matter Ray creates an inability in those it is used against to see the significance of the object it comes from, so abusers of morality see no point in concerning themselves with such an insignificant planet and fly on by.” Hugo awaited the applause his explanations often received. All he got was sighs of understanding.
“Didn’t you say it looked pointless?” Spiritwind stirred up trouble for his friend.
“I think you’ll find I said it looked small, which it is; a physical characteristic that’s easily verified rather than a judgement of intrinsic quality.” Brick used every big word he knew in defence. He sensed Hugo trying to sniff out evil. As pompous as Hugo was Brick knew his arms could punch him through several walls in a row.
Hugo tried to look suspicious with an air of nonchalance. He just appeared sleepy, so gave up. “I must return to guide this carriage of good to our landing bay. Before I go you must insert these into your main breathing tubes.” Hugo pulled a number of sponges from somewhere better not investigated. Brick voiced his concern.
“As I’m not drunk, and there are no women to impress, I’m going to have to ask for further reasons to stick these up my nose.” It was a fair concern.
“They’re atmospheric sponges. All planets with the ability to support the wonder of life hold the same components in the air. It is merely the proportions we struggle to adapt to. These sponges of scientific wonder redress the balance, allowing us to fight evil wherever it may hide.” Hugo turned and headed back to the cockpit, mumbling something about good on the way.
By the time the trio had wrestled the sponges in to place the ship had landed.
“We are here men: the home of all that’s true.” Hugo appeared with a gentle leap and walked straight towards the door. Before anyone had time to respond it had opened and Hugo had set off down the ramp. The trio walked across to the opening and peered out. They were met by an underground car park of epic proportions. Row after row of beaming crafts sat in perfect lines. The spot Hugo had landed in was outlined in gold paint. An enormous image of his face adorned the wall. It grinned back, the writing beneath declaring: 'It’s an honour; not a duty'.
A small welcoming committee stood at the bottom of the ramp: Two humanoid shaped men in elaborate and garish uniforms flanked what can only be described as a five foot high raindrop. Hugo was in discussion with the water based member. The newly arrived trio overheard the words.
“Hugo. We’ve been awaiting your arrival. Reason requires your urgent attention. Follow me.” The raindrop turned to leave, ignoring the looks of curiosity Brick and Spiritwind offered. Hugo turned to his travelling companions before following.
"It’s been a proud time men, but when it comes to the business of saving countless planets, and galaxies, I work alone. The risks I take in order to maintain my legendary status should only ever endanger my life, a life I’d give a thousand times over if it meant one innocent soul survived just a few hours more.” The emotion threatened to end the sentence. Hugo fought through it to carry on. “I cannot ask anyone else to share my outlandishly brave and heroic actions. Our adventure together must end here, for now. If you struggle to find anyone willing to carry you on their quest just say the word and I’ll be there by your side until you have a seat with another deserving crew. This fight must go on. Remember men: It’s an honour; not a duty.” Hugo saluted then chased after the erect puddle in a curious, skipping stride.
“I think we’ve just been dumped.” Brick took his own conclusion from the monologue.
“Should we retire with some ice cream and comfy clothes? Look back at pictures of when times were joyous?” Spiritwind already had the ice cream and three spoons ready. The bald man's offer wasn’t taken up. That didn’t stop him opening the cold, dairy treat.
“I think he would have been a hindrance anyway. His lycra clad musings didn’t fit in with our casual hero vibe." Brick did a short dance to accentuate the ‘vibe’.
“Does this mean we are to disband entirely or may I remain with you?” Bobby felt it was only polite to clarify things.
“Bobby, you can stick with us for as long as you can tolerate us.”
“Tolerance is never difficult when such personality is rife.” Bobby made himself an instant hit with the pair.
“Who do you think this Reason person is that Hugo had to go and see?” Brick openly pondered while Spiritwind tried to remember if he’d brought any Flakes. Bobby saw a chance to be of use to the new group.
“From what I recall Reason is the ultimate source of fairness and morality. He guides the Hero's Council, but never dictates. He’s something of a mythical figure, rarely seen by anyone but his closest aides. His wisdom has resolved countless conflicts and disputes that sat on the brink of war.”
“I get it.” Brick spotted a potential flaw. “Does this ‘advice’ come in the form of vague, infinitely interpretable answers? It’s an old trick that. All you have to do is compare whatever situation you’re dealing with, with an everyday occurrence and it makes you sound brilliant. Go on, try me.” Brick was already convinced Reason was a fraud. Spiritwind did as his friend wished and offered a test.
“Why is there war?” Spiritwind remembered where he had a Flake. Unfortunately the ice cream had gone.
“As the fly bumps his head against the window of life we stand back and observe; if the fly could see, as we do, that it opens mere inches above, it would fly through unharmed rather than bruising its forehead
through stubborn persistence.”
“Forehead?” Spiritwind initially doubted.
“Give it a second to sink in.” Brick held his hands up in request for consideration.
“Oh I see what you mean now. That’s quite good actually.”
“There are no mentions of flies when Reason speaks. His entire existence is spent trying to view the universe from as many perspectives as possible. Our perception of reality is always clouded by personal preconceptions and attitude. Reason searches for the grain of truth within everyone’s view, weaving them together to form some semblance of actuality.” Bobby interjected once more.
“I think you’ll find my fly analogy covers the whole perspective issue.” Brick remained convinced he could out reason, Reason.
“I thought this planet was covered in grass?” Spiritwind had moved on. The floor they stood on was entirely concrete. Nothing like the texture promised on approach.
“I can only presume we are inside the building.” Bobby continued his role as guide. He explained further. “Velos 19 is famous, not only for being home to The Hero's Council, but also for being entirely covered by just one building.”
“That must make the postal service very efficient.” Brick assumed the mantle of practicality.
“So the grass is on the roof?” Spiritwind wondered if they grew roofing tiles in the garden.
“Indeed. Grass is truly the ruler of our universe, so adaptable and determined to grow in any environment. Were our cities to be abandoned it would be grass that would become the new residents within a hundred spins of the planet.” The smile signalled Bobby had finished, prompting Brick to make a suggestion.
“As much as I enjoy car parks, fancy ships and Bobby’s musings on life, I feel the need to explore this building further."
“I guess we should head to reception then.” Spiritwind offered a direction to the notion.
“And how do you suggest we get there?” Brick’s sarcasm was quelled by Spiritwind pointing to a six foot high, neon sign that flashed ‘Reception’ and offered an arrow to follow. “Come on then.” Brick ignored his lack of awareness and took the lead.
After getting lost four times, climbing numerous stairs and walking down a whole host of corridors unnecessarily, the trio arrived in the reception hall to find a lift that led straight from the car park. It was irrelevant as the room they entered stole their breath.
The proportions suited the heroic nature of the building. A circular room stretched around and off in to the distance, the ceiling sitting several hundred feet above them. A single pane of glass covered its entirety, seemingly half a mile wide. It allowed more light to flow forth than could ever be needed. Pillars followed the contours of the room, rising upwards, supporting the roof with pride, honour and a sense of assurance that they’d never let it fall.
The whole room had been carved from marble, only with a warmth that is usually absent from such material. Statues littered the area, each on a plinth and attempting to be more daunting than its predecessor. Golden depictions of past battles were inscribed in the walls while chandeliers of impractical grandeur hung from thin wires and promised light when the sun would no longer suffice. Balconies sat high up the sides, deep red curtains shrouding what lay behind them, as numerous doors led away from the hall, although why anyone would ever want to leave was a mystery. The three heroes stood in awe, trying to take everything in.
A registration desk sat at the centre, continuing the circular theme. Countless receptionists manned it. The hall was awash with heroes, meeting old friends, making new ones, imparting tales of adventures, and generally acting bold. Brick eventually found a few words to say. They were a query directed at Bobby.
“Why does everyone look like Earthlings, except for that which defies at least three laws of physics?” Brick pointed to a creature in the distance that resembled a giraffe walking on its lips. Aside from a minority of exceptions everyone displayed humanoid characteristics, size and shape differing to an expected level but essentially two arms, two legs, torso and head in an upright position.
“They don’t.” Bobby disagreed.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to beg to differ.” Spiritwind would have joined in the differing but his mouth was filled with something sugar based and crunchy.
“That is your right but beware, your isolated perspective on the universe. They don’t look like Earthlings, Earthlings look like them. This is the most common form taken by the vast majority of conscious life in the universe.”
“Shall we go and register then?” Brick didn’t acknowledge the conversational slap and began the journey to the registration desk. Spiritwind and Bobby followed.
Approaching the desk the receptionist grew in beauty. Surprisingly she greeted the trio with a smile usually reserved for old friends. Brick and Spiritwind grinned back hoping an old friend of hers wasn’t stood behind them. Focused fully on the cheerful wonder they failed to acknowledge a blue flash that occurred around three feet from the desk. She spoke as they reached an easily sociable distance.
“Mr Wall, Jones and Dazzler. Welcome to Velos 19. My name is Aspiration and I’ll be registering you today. I hope your stay is as great as the heroes you are.” She winked, almost blinding Brick. He remained transfixed and speechless. Spiritwind maintained some composure.
“Thank you.” It was the best he had.
“Evil surely doesn’t stand a chance with you three big, strong men here to fight it.”
“Thank you.” Spiritwind still didn’t have much more to offer. Brick was comatose with desire. Bobby only had eyes for the sun beams that streamed through the glass ceiling.
“You’re in rooms 4444a, b and c. If there’s anything I can do just call me, anytime you wish.” She blinked in a manner that could be classified eighteen.
Spiritwind had never been any good at reading women’s signals of desire, whether there or not, and Brick presumed every woman fancied him, which led to the same success rate as his friend, but even Spiritwind picked up on the fact Aspiration was flirting. Why she would be flirting with them confused him back to coherence, and the need for an answer.
“Could I just ask: you are flirting with us aren’t you? I realise that may come across as arrogant and I apologise profusely if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am.”
“If I thought you were arrogant I’d put it on my list of things that drive me wild about you, but you are not wrong, and the fact you’re right makes me want you even more.”
“So now we’ve established that, why are you flirting with us?” Spiritwind was genuinely puzzled, and a little warmer than before.
“Why would I not you heroic little wonder?” Her shuffles and movements were positively dances of love.
“Because we’re distinctly average looking whereas your beauty is intimidating. Perhaps if you got to know us and discovered a sensitive side that transcends physical appearance then I could imagine a cheeky snog on a pier, but the level of attraction you’re showing, from appearance alone, to all three of us, just isn’t right. Unless we’re in a movie of course, then all the rules are rescinded.”
“You charmer, you.” Aspiration tapped Spiritwind on the nose. It felt like a kiss from a silken angel with velvet lips. The accompanying giggle could leave a man paralysed with want. Spiritwind’s grin betrayed his attempts at being calm while Brick considered removing an atmospheric sponge to mop up his dribble. Bobby continued his own love affair with the ceiling.
Aspiration leant forward supporting her perfect chin atop her perfect hands, which were supported by her perfect wrists and her perfect…..you get the idea. “My beauty has been scientifically calculated to a level known as irresistible. My flirting is designed to raise your ego to a level that will help you believe you are truly wonderful and increase your effectiveness as a hero. Arrogance and surety are essential to any leader of men, which you hunks of muscle clearly are.”
Spiritwind spoke through his reddening face. “Surely telling us you don’t rea
lly mean it invalidates the effect?”
“Not at all. I could tell you I’m not interested for a year and a day, but as long as you’re a man and I continue to act in this manner you’ll be convinced it is only a matter of time before I’m yours. Men never truly know what a woman feels, so when faced with such contradictory messages they simply pick the one that suits them best. You’ll create all manner of reasons why we are not together but none of them will acknowledge the fact I’m just not that in to you. If you could pass back through the barrier for your second reading?” She smiled and signalled behind them, tapping something under the desk as she did so.
“Don’t we have to register?” Spiritwind was reeling from the revelation, but still red.
“It was done automatically when you passed through the blue light.” She continued watching something beneath the desk.
“So why are we doing it again?” Spiritwind knew their meeting was coming to an end. He wanted to spend as long as possible in meaningful contact with her.
“Your mind will be scanned for every question and answer your brain possesses. The results are collated and mulled over by Reason to search for clues and solutions to the universe’s predicament. To see the universe from countless perspectives is to glimpse the truth.” The smile suggested she loved them, but they should leave.
“Then I guess this is goodbye.”
“It is.” Aspiration’s words were cold, but her smile warmer than the innards of a well cooked pie.
“Come on you.” Spiritwind dragged Brick along. He shuffled with a modicum of resistance, his body complying but his head remaining fully focused on Aspiration. Bobby happily followed behind, still with one eye on the beams of light. Brick came back round about twenty feet from the desk.
“I’m in there.” It was all he could say.
“Course you are.” Spiritwind was over the brief fling.
“I know I say it a lot but I definitely am this time. Did you see the way she was looking at me?”
“Did you not listen to her?”
“She spoke as well. Think my ears stopped working to allow my eyes to stare more. How was her voice? I’ll bet it was like liquid silver.”
“What, hot and scarring?” Spiritwind wouldn’t pander to poetry.
“We should go back. I didn’t get a chance to give her my chat up line, or my room number. What is our room number by the way?”
The conversation continued as they headed off to find their rooms. Spiritwind hoped they weren’t as hard to find as Brick’s common sense when faced with a beautiful woman.
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