by Paul Vayro
Chapter Fifteen
Brick and Spiritwind stumbled back towards their hero accommodation. Everybody else from the impromptu party had retired to bed, leaving the human duo on a self-set quest for food. It had been a success. They turned the final corner, bucket of fried chicken bones in hand, and were confronted by four guards standing in the corridor.
“Brick Wall and Spiritwind Capernicus Jones?” The one wearing the biggest hat spoke.
“See, even complete strangers know my name should come first.” Brick waved a bone to accompany his speech. The word's pointless nature suggested the cacophony of drinks were still swilling around his mind.
“I never disagreed.” Spiritwind dipped in to the French fries he'd stored in his pocket.
“Drink these please.” A guard with a slightly smaller hat offered two phials of a rainbow coloured liquid. Brick and Spiritwind drank without question. It had become instinctive after the night they’d had.
“What if we just drank poison?” Brick had a thought.
“Then we have made a terrible mistake, but a very flavoursome mistake. Hold on. I do feel funny. I think…..I think I’m…..sobering up.”
“It is poison. Quick, spit it out.” Brick found the chicken had soaked up all his spare phlegm.
“Reason wishes to make your acquaintance. Please follow us.” The guard ignored the charade and walked away. After a few moments rubbing their tongues in an effort to remove the sobering liquid from their bodies, the pair followed.
“We should get a box of that stuff. I feel good enough to start drinking again.” Brick couldn’t keep up with the guard through natural pace, but running seemed inappropriate. He settled on a curious hopping, skipping hybrid jog.
“We should get two boxes.” Spiritwind enhanced the thought.
“It’s thinking like that that reminds me why I let you hang around with me.” Spiritwind’s protestations at who allowed who to hang around with who were quelled by the large hatted guard and his instructions.
“In here.” A room revealed itself from behind a wall. It smelt distinctly like a lift. Again without question the duo stepped inside.
“Maybe we should have learnt from the drinking without question scenario in the corridor that we shouldn’t be so willingly led.” Spiritwind raised a much needed point.
“Who in their right minds would sober up two grade one heroes of our calibre, restoring our awesome fighting ability, and then try to capture us?” Brick offered his attempt at a mean stare. None of the guards could see beyond their hats even if they were interested, which they weren’t.
“We missed the bus. We couldn’t fight a kitten.”
“These guys don’t know that.” Brick returned to his grimace until a guard pushed a button. Any sense of firm ground being beneath their feet disappeared as the lift plummeted at a speed reserved for vehicles with jets attached. The eventual deceleration was less jarring. Coming to a halt Brick and Spiritwind gave their minds a chance to catch up. Not being objects of mass their descent had been a little slower.
The doors slid open to reveal a luxurious house overlooking the ocean. The lift sat inside it. The pair's mouths awaited words as they stepped into what appeared to be the living area. Directly ahead of them the entire wall was missing, the floor leading seamlessly out on to a spacious veranda. The open plan theme spread throughout the floor they were on, subtle changes in the wood's pattern distinguishing each area's purpose. The entire house appeared to be carved from one tree, the sheen of each surface still emanating the life that had once resided within the material.
A large egg on legs occupied the living space. The guard with the most impressive hat approached it. After a brief consultation the guard walked away. The egg turned to reveal a man sized penguin smoking a pipe and drinking a cup of something warm. The matching saucer seemed excessive but suited the holder well. A paisley smoking jacket and monocle were the only items to adorn the bird. The penguin stood and approached Brick and Spiritwind. Neither felt bad about staring.
“Hello. I am Reason. I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.” The voice fitted a giant penguin perfectly, squeaky and with a lisp, but didn’t sit well as the universe’s speaker of fairness and truth.
“You’re Reason?” Brick had to check.
“Yes.” A wisp of smoke spiralled away as punctuation.
“The one being all others listen to when deciding what is fair and right in the universe?” Brick wanted to make sure there weren’t two Reasons’.
“They choose to listen, I merely speak. Nobody is obliged to follow or even take notice of my words; however it appears many feel what I say to be a fair and rightful judgement and thus agree.”
“But you’re a penguin.” Brick was relieved to say the word he’d been trying to avoid.
Reason looked himself up and down. “I suppose I am.”
“A really big penguin! Size of a man big. Not just big for a flightless bird.” Spiritwind watched on quietly, curious to see how much trouble Brick could talk them in to before he’d have to intervene.
“I may appear big to you with your previous experience of penguins but I can assure you I am the average height upon my home planet.” Reason swigged the remnants of his drink and placed the empty cup on a nearby table. Spiritwind saw it was time to take over.
“Do you find the average height on your planet is oft misperceived and by a cruel quirk you find yourself labelled small in error?”
“Not at all. My fellow penguins are very reasonable creatures on the whole. They would never mock somebody because of their height. It may form the basis of an interesting discussion over what may cause such a difference, but it would never be used for cruel taunts.” Spiritwind turned to Brick to see if he’d taken note of such an approach. The blank expression suggested not. His comment confirmed it.
“So you’re definitely a massive penguin? This isn’t down to one of those phials we drank?”
“You seem to be struggling with this.” Reason approached the topic from another angle.
“It’s just that penguins on our planet are funny little birds that can neither walk nor fly properly.”
“They’re good swimmers.” Spiritwind stuck up for the curious birds.
“They are good swimmers, I agree, but people don’t usually talk about penguins in terms of their swimming ability. They’re often a great source of entertainment with their tuxedo wearing appearance and funny waddle. They’re rarely thought of as the epitome of reasonableness.” Brick felt his argument was watertight, and entirely inoffensive.
“Do the penguins ever complain about this constant derision?” Reason took no offence.
“Never heard one complain, although that doesn’t mean they don’t all meet on an iceberg for a good griping session every now and then.”
“Well presuming they don’t all meet on an iceberg….”
“That’s a big presumption.”
“Well have any penguins ever complained directly to a human?” Reason grew the potential for aggravation.
Brick looked to the ceiling, initially pondering the question but quickly turning to marvel at the pattern that ran through the wood above him. A cough from Spiritwind reminded him an answer was being waited for. “No. I’d say no.”
“A very reasonable approach would one not say?” Reason tipped his pipe towards the pair before continuing quickly. “I suppose you’re wondering why I have asked you here at such an hour."
“What time is it?” Brick turned to his peer. He wanted to establish the time before deciding if it enhanced the curiosity level of the situation.
“No idea. I’m hungry though, must be near a mealtime, most likely breakfast.” Spiritwind joined the time based musings. Reason could see there was no point following the usual conversational etiquette and jumped back in.
“We have noted strange activity surrounding countless Earth franchise planets across the universe, including the one you hail from. The Council wishes to ask you to observe imagery from a pure Earth
franchise that we know has not been tampered with. The images you will see are from roughly the time you left. We need you to search for clues. Something is different but our eyes cannot see what. If you would kindly follow me.” Reason turned and waddled towards the balcony, much to the amusement of Brick and Spiritwind. “I hear you laughing and it's okay. We can’t be held accountable for what our mind finds funny, and we certainly shouldn’t be punished socially for expressing such findings."
“You really are a reasonable, but still massive, penguin.” Brick couldn’t fully get over what he was talking to.
The trio stepped on to the balcony, a balcony that could fit the entire house upon it if needed. The ocean shimmered beyond it, gleaming its way to the horizon. Reason led the pair to a chair each. The seats were comfortable without going far enough to induce sleep. As they sat, Reason lowered a screen, seemingly from thin air, and turned to the duo.
“You will now see a selection of clips from daily life on this planet. No matter how insignificant they may seem please try to remember any inconsistencies you find with your own home. They could be the key to unravelling what is going on. I shall leave you to watch.” Reason backed away and allowed the pair to watch in silence, or as much silence as you could get with Brick around.