Unintended Heroes

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by Paul Vayro

Chapter Twenty Four

  “Now this is more like it.”

  Brick tilted his head back to take in the full splendour of the future. The team had arrived in the virtual world that most of the population of Earth now inhabited.

  Buildings stretched far in to the sky, swarmed by flying vehicles of one sort or another. As with most of life the movie images of youth had inspired the scientists of the future. The entire floor they stood upon was highly polished chrome, the endless stream of shops reflecting back from it, enticing all towards them. Brick didn’t care what they were selling, they promised happiness and general life satisfaction through clever combinations of colour and sounds. People littered the streets, sat around tables, enjoying the beverages and conversation on offer. The clothes they wore suggested a subtle blend of Victorian chic with a seventies twist. It seemed flairs would never go out of fashion.

  Brick focused on a particularly attractive female. She wore a fully structured ballroom gown cut to miniskirt length, a thousand beads around her neck and a flower in her hair. Brick was shocked when she disappeared into thin air. He instantly jumped to a conclusion and commented in a casual manner that implied he was insightful.

  “I see molecular transportation became the standard transport. I knew buses were impractical, and quite frankly a social nightmare.”

  “If you’re referring to the woman that just disappeared she didn’t transport anywhere.” Dandara took a cloth to Brick’s smug grin. “She was on what you would call a phone. In these modern times when communicating at a distance a holographic image of the person appears next to you. She just ended her call.” Dandara pointed to the manual that had appeared with her in the virtual world.

  “What if somebody rings while you’re on....” An impish grin joined the sentence.

  “If you’re on the toilet or naked or in any of the other embarrassing situations trickling through your mind, the caller is diverted to a default image.” Dandara was beginning to look like a worthy verbal combatant.

  “So what do we do now?” Spiritwind spoke before filling his mouth with a hefty chunk of freshly procured future gateaux. Nobody was sure how he’d got it, where from, or how it was paid for, but it was the current reality.

  “We just go about doing whatever we feel like doing. The clues will begin to show themselves.” Bettina played with her hair and eyed up both Spiritwind and his gateaux at the same time.

  “And the clues will definitely appear?” Brick remained doubtful. Spiritwind noticed Bettina's attention and tried to apply more etiquette to his eating. It was a difficult task as he tried to rescue the crumbling cake with his teeth.

  “It’s all part of the hero package…..” Spiritwind tried to alert Brick to further mention of the hero package, but between his struggle with his cake and Brick distracted by his reflection in the floor, the opportunity for questioning passed. Bettina continued. “….A true hero doesn’t have to search high and low for clues. By placing themselves within the vicinity of evil doings the suggestions to the answer will just appear. It’s our task to notice them and deduce the solutions.” Bettina’s composure shifted towards panic as her finger trapped itself in her hair.

  “What about being able to hang off cliffs with one hand and shoot big guns? Is that not a skill we need?” Brick demonstrated both as his attention returned to the group. Dandara stepped in to the role of teacher as Bettina pre-occupied herself with freeing her finger. It was stuck fast.

  “Luckily for you such abilities are usually redundant. Heroics are far more subtle unless you’re the likes of Hugo Cortizone. He ruins it for the rest of us, raising the expectations of the general public only for disappointment to follow when we turn up and approach the problem with a bit of thought and discussion.” Dandara held bitterness over the public's perception of heroes.

  “Perhaps people are bitter when faced with you but we exceed every expectation.” Brick puffed out his chest, nearly falling over as he leant too far.

  “What did you do to gain your hero status?” Dandara investigated.

  “We missed the bus then read a book out to some aliens.” Spiritwind applied truth to the situation.

  “Will you stop talking us down.” Brick was stalled by miffed outrage.

  “It’s the truth.” Spiritwind was pleased to find his plate was edible. Future litter had been minimised greatly.

  “A truth that can be embellished quite easily.” Brick considered tutting, but couldn't be bothered.

  “I always admire truthful men.” Bettina threw out some further flirting. The intermittent yanking of her head by her still trapped finger made the approach less powerful.

  “If we just have to go about our business can I go to the pub?” Jam attempted to raise his hand. The reflection in the floor confused him into paralysis. Speech became his only method of communication.

  “We’re in the future Jam. Do you not want to see how society has evolved?” Brick wished to share his excitement.

  “We’re not in the future. We’re just at another point in the cycle of the Earth program. Time hasn’t changed in the slightest for me. I’m just on another planet, and as with every planet I visit I wish to see how the pubs are.”

  “Cheers Jam. Good time to reveal you have perfectly coherent thoughts in there. Ooh we could go to a betting shop and use our knowledge of time to gamble on sporting events we already know the outcome of?” Everybody waited for Brick to see the multiple holes in his idea. It took longer than anyone expected. “Oh right. Sorry.”

  “We may go shopping then.” Dandara turned to Bettina in suggestion. She agreed with a newly freed finger.

  “I’ll never understand the pleasure women gain from shopping.” Brick aired his opinion.

  “You’re not supposed to. If you did that would make you a girl, and to be fair you wouldn’t make a very pretty girl.” Spiritwind scoured the floor for any further edible litter.

  “I think you’ll find I’d make an excellent woman. Any man would be proud to have me on his arm.” Brick looked genuinely dejected.

  “Well I guess we’ll be off then.” Dandara didn’t have the time or motivation to wait and see where the conversation was heading. “Should we meet back here when the time display mechanism says eight?” The two girls didn’t wait for confirmation as they wandered away. Brick only had one response, once they were out of earshot.

  “That Dandara definitely has her eye on me.”

  “Only to make sure the punch she throws hits you square in the chops.” Spiritwind wondered if he’d packed any chops.

  “If this is where our journey together ends, then may I say our acquaintance has been one of many memories and times that fondness can only hope to touch.” Jam reeled off an impromptu speech.

  “We’re meeting up in a few hours Jam. It isn’t goodbye yet.” Spiritwind tried to connect with Jam’s eyes as he spoke. There was nothing to see but pretty colours and dreams of a better place. “On second thoughts we’ll come and get you. Do you know which pub you’re going in?”

  “That one.” Jam pointed over his shoulder.

  “That’s a dog grooming parlour.”

  “Really, it was a pub before.” Jam looked in the direction his thumb pointed.

  “The pub’s next door.” Spiritwind realigned the confused man. “Follow your finger and stay in there. We’ll pick you up later.” Jam stumbled away, following his finger blindly and chatting to it as he went. Brick and Spiritwind waved him off like two proud parents seeing their child enter the school gates for the first time.

  “What are the chances he’s in there when we get back?” Spiritwind doubted if they’d ever see Jam again.

  “Being an eternal optimist I’d say about ten percent. So what are we going to do?”

  “With the whole of humanities advances laid out before us, I thought what better thing to investigate than the humble television and sofa?”

  “Sometimes I wonder why I mock you. That is a genius idea.” Brick offered his peer prais
e.

  “You say the nicest things.” A moment of open appreciation broke out between the pair. It was quickly joined by Spiritwind’s discovery that his stash of pastries had been transported into the virtual world with him.

  “To the department store!” Brick raised his hand and stormed forward, an entirely impractical action for a man that didn’t have the first clue where he was heading. Spiritwind sighed, nibbled a chicken pasty and followed on behind. The future was proving easy to handle, for now.

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