by Paul Vayro
Chapter Forty Seven
The pound of vanquished ships had been easy to find. The signing on Velos 19 was both clear and informative. Brick had been hoping to stumble upon a guard so he could flash his new hero card but everybody was in the hall telling Hugo how marvellous he was.
As the newly crowned grade five heroes entered the hangar the ambience instantly changed. The promise of hope and virtue that flooded the corridors was replaced by a sense of apprehension and impending mischief. Physically the room was vast. The countless crafts were parked in a disordered and haphazard fashion, incomparable to the neat bays of the hero's ship park. They obscured the far end of the room which stretched beyond the curvature of the planet. The area was adequately lit, but the dark aura of the machines combined to steal the light before it could make it to the floor. It left a foreboding darkness for the heroes to walk within. Combined with the overwhelming sensation that everything wished to attack them, it was difficult to have any conclusion other than Brick's.
"It's not nice in here."
"What do you expect? It's a room full of evil transport. Some of that intention rubs off you know. Come on." Dandara's hero experience kicked in, pushing her rage over the potential kiss to one side for now. She reached down to her utility belt for her 'bear in a can' spray, just in case any of the vehicles decided to take a swipe.
"Let's put friendly at the top of the list of requirements." Brick and Spiritwind began their list of criteria.
The Magwanvu and Bobby veered off to the right, disappearing behind an ebony horn with serrated edges. They had their own ships to find. Brick and Spiritwind took the ambling approach to searching, pondering through the room but always remaining within the vicinity of Dandara and Bettina and their spray bear. Jam just wandered, remaining non committal to either group.
The sleek lines and comforting curves of the hero ships were nowhere to be seen. Evil body-kits focused solely on rough edges, aggressive slats, and spikes and teeth jutting out for no reason. It made snaking through them potentially lethal. Severing your own head through a curious turn became a genuine concern.
"What exactly are you looking for?" Dandara thought a few details may allow her and Bettina to be of assistance.
"We won't really know until we see it." Brick and Spiritwind nodded to each other to check they were both following the same selective process.
"If you don't know what it is then maybe you've already seen it but just didn't recognise it." Dandara couldn't believe she was even bothering to get into such a debate.
"Impossible." Brick dismissed the concern without hesitation.
"I hate to ask but why?"
"Because if we had seen it but didn't realise we'd seen it, then that can't be it. That must be something else entirely."
"And we've seen plenty of something else but not it." Spiritwind clarified, tipping a bag of jelly beans down his throat as a full stop.
Dandara could only shake her head.
"Did you hear that?" Brick motioned for silence with a tilt of his head and a raise of each arm.
"Is it the roar of the ocean?" Jam popped up from behind a wing. "The sound of nature swirling into a frenzy to show the land why it shouldn't be so smug, sitting there all dry, day after day in mockery of the sea's saturated state of uneven purity?"
"I don't think it was that Jam but cheers for the input."
"It was only a guess. My guesses rarely hit the target. Was there even a question or did I just interject for no reason?" Jam disappeared behind a ramp, continuing to witter. Picking up the sounds of Bobby and The Magwanvu the drunken captain stumbled off to investigate them further. Brick continued.
"It sounded like a voice." Brick followed the sound, squatting ever nearer the floor and ducking behind a wheel with enormous protruding spikes. Impractical beyond merit but fearsome in intent. The well haired hero discovered something of interest. "Look at this."
Only Dandara, Bettina and Spiritwind followed. Bobby and The Magwanvu were several crafts along, poking and squeezing the mechanic beasts, testing them as you would fruit. Jam had found the happy man and triplicate being and believed they were the only party he was travelling with. Nobody objected to his companionship.
Brick revealed his find to the diminishing group. It was a white, spud like craft no bigger than three feet in diameter, sat in acres of space. The murmuring noises were coming directly from it.
The foursome edged forwards, the words becoming clearer with each step. They were the sound of somebody berating themselves.
"How could I? What a terrible thing to do. Strictly speaking of course I didn't do it but it doesn't matter, I didn't stop it. I should have stopped it. I could have pretended to break. I'm just not the craft I thought I was...."
"Hello." Brick had moved close enough to expect some recognition. He gave the little ship a tap on the roof to accompany his greeting. "Hello."
"Oh dear, people, whatever will they think of me?"
"Hello there." Brick continued knocking, purely because he liked the hollow sound it made.
"Oh my. Hello, and sorry."
"Who am I talking to? And why are they sorry?" Brick still knocked.
"I am a Stetson class 643 transport craft. I contain all the desired extras one could ever want and can manage universal travel almost in ones sleep. And I'm going to ship hell for what I've done."
"I like it." Brick stopped knocking and used his hands to offer a double thumbs-up.
"It seems nice enough." Spiritwind concurred while wondering how big an oven it contained.
"It's a bit whiney." Dandara wasn't one for tolerance.
"It might be having a bad day." Brick defended his newest buddy.
"Every day's a bad day for me. It's all I deserve for the horror I've been a part of."
"If you'd like to discuss the horror then feel free, but don't allude to something in order to draw a question from us because it won't happen." Brick laid out an instant ground rule.
"I couldn't. The horror....it's just too....."
"Horrific?" Dandara cut the drama short.
"You've heard. The shame!" The ship appeared to bite its fist. An impressive feat when it didn't even have hands.
"I think I need to refer you to my previous statement. Not only will we not be drawn into questioning you but we'll actively guide the conversation away from whatever you're trying to get us to talk about. If you just want to speak about something then feel free. We are always open to a bit of emotional bonding. We are not monsters." Brick introduced something of a sub-section to the initial ground rule.
"Oh. Okay." The ships tone moved towards the more emotionally stable end of the scale. "I have been through some horrible things though, and I feel ever so terrible about it. Not for me but for all the people affected. I still see their faces at night, their tortured sou.... Sorry. Drama slips out occasionally."
"That's alright. You'll inevitably slip back in to type, as long as you're working on it."
Dandara had heard enough. She had a rebuke that couldn't be quelled. "Listen. You can't expect to reap the rewards of being a bad guy's ship, taking the fear based glory and respect, without one day being visited by guilt. You've built your moral hangar now you have to be parked in it." Her analogy pleased her no end.
The ship responded firmly. "I never wanted to be a bad guy's ship. I was a family run around and a happy one at that. I adored the mundane rituals of everyday life: ferrying my male owner's female companion to work and back every day, shopping on a weekend, visiting aunt Ada every second Sunday. It was a dream. Then one day she left me running when nipping into the dry cleaners. Next thing I knew my security systems had been re-routed and I was being pursued by several police craft at speeds I had only known as numbers on a dial. After escaping them my insides turned dingy and my exterior as black as an evil glove on the dark side of a moon at night. Oh the smell. I never got used to it. I would complain but he just laughed at me and turned up my nasal sensors. For years I became party to endless d
astardly feats and mischief beyond humour. It all ended the day Hugo Cortizone saved me. Have you had the pleasure of meeting him? He's so dreamy...."
"I think we're all familiar with Hugo Cortizone and his work." The credit stealing would be a sore point for Dandara as long as the memory of his glory theft remained. "So who turned you white?" Dandara approached all machines with cynicism, especially ones that tried to display emotions.
"I have returned to my default setting since being freed by the hunky one." Nobody considered this an explanation. After a brief loving sigh the ship revealed more. "My entire interior and exterior appearance are optional. I morph to suit my owner's needs and desires. I have to say, Notnice Joe's subconscious was a terrible place to have to hunt which subtle shade of green he wished the bathroom curtains to be. Flu snot wasn't previously in my database. Oh the colour clashes he imposed upon me. Sorry. I was doing it again wasn't I?"
"So if you became our ship you'd look however we wanted you to?" Brick ignored the sympathy plea and focused on self interest.
"Yes. I would delve into your subconscious and find the perfect decor and ambience for yourselves. It was my greatest selling point. Although I fear I'm destined to lie here and rot forever. Who would wish to employ such a morally abhorrent monster?"
"Us." Brick beamed. "Although you will have to keep working on that needy, sympathy thing." Brick looked towards his friend for any disagreement.
"If you're happy flying round the universe in a giant bacon butty then I'm in." Spiritwind warned Brick what may be pulled from his subconscious in the name of craft design.
"Shouldn't you ask Stetson if he wants to be your craft?" Dandara applied manners to the transaction.
"Are you suggesting he'd rather stay here and rot than aid us on our hero career?"
"I would." Dandara snorted at her own wit before hiding her face in embarrassment at releasing her humour based pig impression.
"A hero's craft, me, how?" Stetson had ears good enough to pick up what was occurring. Or vibration detection and interpretation sensors as he preferred to call them.
"Mr.....Stetson." Spiritwind was unsure how to address a ship so went with formal. "We have been awarded grade five hero status."
"Really?" Stetson also had a grasp of reality.
"Yes. Why does everyone underestimate us?" Spiritwind dropped a piece of jam covered toast on his top. "Okay, silly question, but yes we have. And as part of our reward we've been told we can choose any craft in here as our own."
"To stand with us as we fight evil in all its guises, spreading peace throughout the vacuum of space. A machine...." Brick felt a monologue may be appropriate.
"....There may be a watered down version of that going on at times." Spiritwind interjected. "But in the main all we need is something to ferry us around in relative comfort and not complain at being inactive for long periods. We don't care what you've done in the past. To be honest I don't think I could sleep in any of these other ships without fearing it would slit my throat in the night. You seem friendly and remorseful, and what better way to make up for those crimes than by helping two grade five heroes to the pub and back?" Spiritwind turned his information into a pitch.
"It is surely a gift, but how many planets must I save before my guilt is redeemed? How can a price be placed on the misery I have been party to? A fathomless debt has no repayment plan......."
"Remember what we said about the dramatics though." Brick gave a tilted riposte.
"Of course, but can a butterfly forgive its wings? For they as much a part of it as my guilt of I?" Brick raised his eyes and pointed his lips towards the sky. Stetson interpreted the reminder to perfection. "I'll try." The ship enjoyed the poetry more than the sentiment.
"I don't mean to bring up a problem but how are you going to get in?" Bettina raised the as yet unspoken issue of size.
"Spiritwind can just go through the front door." The mockery from Brick was inevitable. "As for the rest of us, these deceptive size things always have a simple solution."
"My size is as changeable as my appearance. I can control the space between my molecules at will. If chosen I could be as big as this room. I just don't think I deserve all that space." Stetson solved the problem.
"There you go. It even had a half baked scientific explanation." Brick beamed for no justified reason. "Could you make yourself large enough for us to come in and have a look around?"
"Of course." Stetson grew to a solid four storeys high and fifty metres long, morphing to Brick and Spiritwind's unknown desires it began to resemble an egg lay on its side.
Purely by coincidence the ship had grown just as Jam had been pointing in its general direction. Believing he may have gained a new power the intoxicated chap pointed at many other objects in expectancy, starting with his own hand.
The exterior of Brick and Spiritwind's newest toy became more egg shaped as it expanded, taking on a deep purple shade. Off-white writing scribed itself upon the side stating: Magical Causality. A series of armchairs formed a moving chain up to the door, infinitely more comfortable than a ramp.
"Where did you get Magical Causality from?" Brick turned to his friend.
"I don't know. I thought it was from you. I had the egg in mind, aerodynamic and incredibly versatile, like us."
"That's exactly what I thought when I met you both: What a pair of eggs." Dandara would have snorted again but she couldn't be bothered. She found verbal rebukes were somewhat quelling her annoyance at Brick.
"I can't wait to see the inside." Brick hopped on to an armchair. The rest followed his action.
The foyer preceded the main living area, the entirety lined with interactive games. Missiles of various shapes and sizes had to be thrown or fired at numerous screens and props. One appeared to be virtual yoghurt bucket. Curiosity of what lay ahead prevented pausing to test each game.
Entering the main living area the duo felt instantly at ease. Two sofas dominated the room, the size of a double bed each. The cushions were plump yet firm, allowing the occupant to sink in but remain supported. They faced an enormous screen displaying any entertainment option the universe could offer. The rest of the room had been based on a cosy pub complete with pool table, darts board and jukebox. Seating scattered throughout in countless forms, many inspired by Fut's house, leading to a bar that wound its way across the far wall. A sunlit beer garden could be seen through a door to the right. Both men made a mental promise to explore later. Approaching the bar a man appeared in a waistcoat and tie.
"Evening gents, how may I aid your relaxation?"
"Do you live under the bar?" Brick had a question before he could order.
"I'm merely part of the craft. I can be switched on and off as easily as the lights." The smile offered friendship.
"What do you have in the way of snacks?" Spiritwind saw past the liquid options.
"There is a full menu available whenever you require." The barman pointed to a menu containing everything Spiritwind considered his best food. "Just decide what you want and I'll do the rest. Feel free to take your seats."
"I definitely need to sit down and think about this." Spiritwind couldn't choose. It was like picking your favourite child.
"We'll have two pints, three chasers, constant refills, and bring one thing from the menu every ten or twenty minutes." Brick made the order for everyone before spotting a velvet curtain in the corner. Strolling over he pulled back the divide to reveal a pedalo, complete with slide that led to a ball pool. A twenty foot pane of glass sat before it, pointing out from the conical edge of the ship. "What's this Stetson?"
"My name is now Magical Causality."
"Okay then. What's this Magic?"
"I scanned your minds for something you both knew how to drive. This was all I could find." Magic spoke with an equal tone of pride and apology.
"We can drive you with this?" Spiritwind had a bowl of nuts to keep him occupied. With the food sorted he'd wandered over to his friend.
"Yes.
Although you can also just tell me what to do and I'll do it."
"Magic, I think this is going to be a beautiful partnership."
"I think we're going to leave." Dandara wanted the sanity of her own craft.
"This isn't goodbye forever. Is it?" Brick went for the dramatic approach, slipping in the process and falling into the ball pool.
"I'm sure there'll be plenty of press events and hero conferences we'll meet at. I can't imagine the cosmos will allow this to be goodbye even if we wanted it to be." Dandara stole all the amateur theatre from the moment.
"So you do want to see us again." Brick did the backstroke as he cheekily winked.
"I didn't say that." Dandara was indignant.
"You implied it." Brick remained cheeky.
"I'm just going to go." Dandara wandered out of the room.
"I guess I'd better follow her. I love your ship Spiritwind. You do know you can use it to call us anytime." Spiritwind knew the next sentence could be crucial, so he froze and said nothing. Bettina continued in order to avoid silence. "Using the ship's communicator, you can call us whenever you want. So keeping in touch won't be hard at all." Bettina blew a kiss as she left. Spiritwind caught it with an open mouth and a handful of freshly delivered cheesy nachos. He couldn't speak until she'd disappeared from view.
"Now what did that mean? Was that informative or flirty? She was kissing another man last night. If she wanted me then that would have been me on the end of her lips surely?"
"Remember what I said?" Brick attempted the breaststroke. It just emptied the pool of balls while he remained in one place.
"Remind me." Spiritwind remained focused on the door, filling his mouth and shaking his head gently.
"Never try to work them out. There is no answer."
"Okay." If only it was that simple.
Contents