by Paul Vayro
Chapter Forty Nine
Brick awoke and instantly began the process of trying to work out where he was.
The floor felt dusty and not the kind designed for lying on. Brick was curled up in the corner of a darkened room. His legs were snaked between a pair of ladders, an old lawnmower, and a series of brooms and hoes in various states of disrepair. "I'm in a shed." Brick had honed his location skills over the years and came to an instant conclusion. "I hope it's my shed." He wasn't overly familiar with the contents of the garden storage facility that came with the rented house, especially not from this angle. At least it wasn't a water based place of rest. Maybe he was finally maturing?
Brick moved his foot in an attempt to further gain his bearings. It set off a chain reaction of items falling, mainly towards the hero's well styled hair.
Battling through the barrage of tools Brick lunged his weight at the door. It fell open without resistance, leaving the hero prostrate on the grass and staring at his house. Dragging himself to his feet he worked on returning to the inside.
Entering the living room Brick found Spiritwind surrounded by plates and dishes filled with breakfast components. The concepts were strewn across the furniture in various states of wakefulness, some helping themselves to the nearest bowl of food available.
Fate and Karma shared the sofa with Spiritwind, holding a plate of toast between them. Neither appeared pleased to own it. Irony was on the floor next to them, her head firmly in her hands, remaining still in fear of the consequences. They sat on a beanbag reading Magic's instruction manual while munching through a handful of sausages. Coincidence took the armchair, peeling an egg, as Fut spread across the floor, emptying the remnants of a grapefruit into his ample mouth.
"You slept in the shed then?" Spiritwind precariously, yet expertly, slid another fork full of beans into his mouth.
"How did you....Oh I don't care." Brick slumped into his armchair with a dusty flourish. "Everyone have a good party?" Brick scanned the room for any signs of a need to apologise. Only nods and general grimaces replied. "So will these grade five cards enhance our lives? Make it easier? Give us enough money to avoid real work?"
"I told you all this last night. Don't you remember?" Fate's head remained relatively still.
"I woke up in the shed." It was a valid point.
"It only holds prestige. You should find the reward of sa......"
"So it's the same as the grade one card?"
"In that respect."
"So we still can't use it to help pay the rent or get any girls to kiss us?"
"No." Fate gave up with the toast and put it down on the table.
"What about public appearances? Can we get an appearance fee for raffles or after diner speeches?" Brick had to find something.
"A hero charging for something like that would open a PR nightmare." Coincidence helped his ailing brother by answering. "Even turning one down would make the front page of 'Nothing Weekly'."
"We don't get paid and we can't turn them down?"
"No. Unless you have a team of high powered accountants like Hugo Cortizone that can manipulate your expenses to amass a personal fortune vast enough to fund several inter galactic wars. You'll get free accommodation and admiration though." Irony chuckled beneath her hands before stopping abruptly and freezing, the fear of vomit causing paralysis.
"You can always use your faces to promote your souls." Fut spoke through the tender lips his grapefruit had created.
"You mean sell merchandise of ourselves?" Brick interpreted the suggestion
"I can feel the nail wincing after that strike on the head."
They popped into the chat. "I wouldn't bother. Hugo Cortizone has that market well and truly sewn up. His sales division would put you out of business before you sold a key-ring. You'd probably end up buying a few hero towels off them as an apology for even trying. They're that good."
"I guess we're back to temping then." Brick slumped further down in his chair. "We'd better ring the agency tomorrow."
"Why not ring them now?" Karma clouded a dig within helpful advice. Her hangover pain felt the need to be shared.
"Never going to happen." Brick closed his eyes.
"Me going, is happening. I can't even think." Irony disappeared, mid convulsion.
"We should go and check she's alright." Karma gave Fate an order. She wanted to get him alone so she could rebuke him for her agony.
"I guess we're off to check on Irony." Fate didn't have the energy to fight. "I'll see you soon saviours of the universe." Spiritwind stretched into the space the couple had been taking up.
"I may just test how life is with my eyes closed." Brick offered his own goodbye to the room and curled up. The few unconscious hours in the shed had served no regenerative purpose.
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Brick awoke to find a different room facing him. Only Spiritwind remained, tucking in to a large bowl of ice cream, and mood lighting battled the increasing darkness outside.
"Has everyone gone?" Brick stretched his limbs. His neck clicked leaving him tilted.
"Are you openly inviting sarcasm?" Spiritwind felt cheap scoring such an easy point and acknowledged the verbal open goal instead.
"Are you denying your right to it?"
"Maybe? Maybe with our upgraded hero level I've changed."
"Maybe?" Brick picked a tooth, moved his neck slowly, and posed a thought. "Is it ironic that we've saved the Earth and the entire universe but nobody knows and thinks we're just a pair of bums?"
"I don't think that qualifies as irony, annoying perhaps. And as far as I know it is possible to be both a bum and the saviour of the universe. One label is not exclusive of the other."
"It would appear bums have saved the universe, and got a pretty snazzy ship out of it."
"We do have a ship, although I think he's a bit hung-over." Spiritwind pointed towards a pile of clothes in the corner. They ruffled and groaned.
"I wasn't planning on going anywhere tonight anyway. We've just got back. We need a little relaxation time." Brick picked up the television guide. It was from three weeks ago and offered nothing he didn't already know.
"I concur. We've got plenty of time for adventures. The possibilities are endless." Spiritwind placed the empty ice-cream bowl by his chair.
"They are. We could go anywhere." Brick settled into a new position.
"We could." Spiritwind placed a cushion beneath his head.
"Do anything we want." Brick removed his socks.
"Anything at all."
"Go anywhere in the entire universe."
"Now you're thinking." Spiritwind tried a foetal position.
"As long as it's tomorrow, there's no need to rush these things."
"Of course."
"Or even next week?"
"Even better."
"Is that a film about to start?" Brick interpreted the changing image on the screen. "I think it's that one you wanted to see." Brick's film recognition ability took only a seconds exposure.
"The one with the man?" Spiritwind turned inquisitively.
"That's the one."
"Then perhaps I'll go and sort out some snacks." Spiritwind disturbed his own comfort before it had chance to take full hold.
"What kind were you thinking?" Brick enquired from his slouched position.
"Some form of crisp based mountain covered in cheese and soy sauce."
"May I be party to a handful or three?"
"Well it is a hero snack." Spiritwind was already in the kitchen.
"Do you need to see my hero card?"
"I'd rather see a twenty pound note."
"I'll owe it you." Brick had not a penny on him.
"You already owe me a tenner."
"Since when?"
"Since you borrowed it." Spiritwind rifled through the leftover party snacks.
"Was I drunk?"
"You weren't sober."
"A simple yes would suffice." Brick turned his memory upside down in search.
Etc, etc, etc...........
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