by Diana Nixon
Copyright © 2019 by Diana Nixon
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval systems, without prior written permission of the author except where permitted by law.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Edited by: Laura Hernandez
Cover design by: Amina Black
FADED
Prologue
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
EPILOGUE
The End
About the Author
FADED
(Summary)
Our love was hopeless. Our future - nonexistent. Still, we let the attraction win.
Two young hearts, too naive to believe that love was just a game. We let it consume us, we let it destroy us…
And then, there was nothing but the pain, endless, burning.
For years, I've been trying to forget about Jeffrey Coleman's existence. The son of my worst enemy… Falling for him was a mistake from the very beginning. I did my best to cross him out of my life. And now, I'm standing at his door, ready to beg him to help me…
"There are only two times that I want to share with you: now and forever…"
Prologue
Jeffrey
I was two seconds away from screwing my future to the level no curses would ever be strong enough to justify.
As if my life wasn’t complicated enough, I was going to add even more shit to it… By marrying a girl who hated me more today than yesterday, but not as much as she would tomorrow.
Fuck, I can’t do this…
I looked at the guests who came to witness me making the biggest mistake of my life and more doubts crept up my chest. I felt sick, and stressed, but more than anything, I felt like I was about to win the biggest prize I had ever dreamed of.
Because I was about to marry the love of my lifetime.
Oh, yeah, you heard me right. Unlike my beautiful fiancé, who probably felt like she was selling her soul to the devil, I couldn’t wait for the moment I would put a wedding band on her finger.
She was everything to me: everything I ever wanted, everything I ever needed, and everything I could never have. Not even after the wedding.
We made a deal. A deal that ruined her and praised my every damn dream about her.
It was a deal that turned her into my prisoner for the rest of her existence. Not that I was proud of this achievement, but I just couldn’t imagine losing her to another idiot who had no idea how much she meant to me. Letting her go once was more than enough. Now it was time to catch up for all those years I spent jumping from one bed to another, hoping to get her out of my system. Figures, my attempts were not successful.
I looked around the beautifully decorated church and more curses ran through my head. I hoped God would forgive me for my thoughts; he should have known better than to bring her back into my life. At some point I lost hope to see her ever again. Then she crossed the threshold of my office and I was lost. Lost to everything and everyone but her. Again.
Fuck, I shouldn't do this…
Apparently, a part of me – the one that remembered about the existence of conscience – knew that I should stop whatever was going on around me before it was too late.
“Hey, you okay?” Kameron asked. He was my best man and one of a few people who knew I would never put myself into a marriage - the very millstone I swore off putting around my neck a long time ago.
“Yeah…just nervous…a bit.” I sighed and forced a smile. I hoped it didn’t look like a grimace.
He smirked. “No wonder you hated the mere idea of getting married. You are scared shitless, aren't you? It's not like the priest is going to choke you. No, wait… Is your fiancé that much of a monster? Does she like beating the crap out of you? Is she bold? Does she have three pairs of eyes? Or better – a hook instead of her right hand?”
I chuckled. "Shut up, smartass."
Neither he nor the rest of my childhood friends ever saw Rhea. Long story short – she and I had a history that neither of them ever heard about, because right after we graduated from high school, I left Pittsburgh and moved to New York where I met my future wife. Even though it was still so hard to believe that she and I managed to get to this very ‘big-day’ point without killing each other on the way. But despite everything she and I had been through, my feelings for her never died.
“No, she’s amazing,” I said to Kameron, not a bit exaggerating.
“Then it must be the night after the wedding.”
I blinked and turned my head to the left to look at my friend. “What about it?”
“Admit it, Jeff, you are scared to get laid by your future wife.”
That made me smile. “Idiot. I’m a big boy, remember?”
“I’d be damned if I didn’t. I witnessed most of your conquests, remember? Which makes me wonder about the reasons you never introduced us to… What’s her name again?”
“It’s Rhea.”
“Right. To Rhea.”
“I didn’t have time to do it.”
“Not a single opportunity in what…twelve years? You said you met her on your first day at the university, right?”
“Yep.”
“Then why the hell didn't you ever mention your relationship with her was strong enough to make a proposal?”
“I…”
The sounds of a pipe organ made everyone look at the church entrance.
She was there… Finally.
My palms sweated. I took a deep intake of breath and then exhaled slowly. My heart throbbed against the small cave of my chest. The tux I was wearing suddenly felt too hot and the black tie around my collar – too tight. I couldn't make myself look at the bride, afraid my look would scare her away and she would never make it to the altar. Instead, I focused on the light beaming behind her like a halo. It brought hope and a bit of magic that I needed like anything in the world, because only a miracle could help me get through the ceremony and everything that followed it.
“It’s time,” Kameron said. In a whisper he added, “If you need my car keys or a new pair of sneakers, just let me know. Okay?”
“Why would I need any of those?”
“You are not Julia Roberts of course, but I bet your running skills are as great as hers.”
Liam and Stanley, who were standing next to Kameron laughed.
“Runaway Groom – watch in your cinemas tonight!” Liam commented.
I rolled my eyes. “If memory serves, you were the one who said that marriage is the stupidest thing people have ever done to their lives.”
“Yeah, well, that was before I met my lovely wife.” He looked at Crystal, sitting in the first row of seats together with Elizabeth – Kameron’s wife, and smiled. “I would marry her a million times if that meant keeping her by my side forever.”
I could hear him there…
Gathering all the courage I could muster at that moment, I looked at Rhea, walking down the aisle, with her father Dennard holding her hand in his.
Jesus C
hrist, she looked stunning. Her dress was made of ivory silk that flowed down to her feet in soft waves. It was simple, but elegant. Just like the girl who was wearing it now. Her shoulders were bare, hidden under the veil that covered her face and hair. I couldn’t see her eyes, but something was telling me I wouldn’t see anything good in them.
She didn’t love me. She didn’t want to marry me. In fact, I was the last person in the whole world she would want to spend the rest of her life with.
But…
As selfish as I was when it came to her, I gave her no choice but to accept my proposal and become Mrs. Jeffrey Coleman.
“Last chance to escape,” Kameron whispered with a smirk in his words.
“No, not in this life,” I replied, as determined as ever.
Rhea and her father stopped at the altar, he removed her veil and kissed her on both cheeks, saying something on the way. She nodded shortly and smiled gently at him. The poor man had no idea what his daughter sacrificed for him. Because if it wasn’t for Dennard, she would never be mine, not willingly anyway.
“Take good care of her, Jeffrey,” he said as he put his daughter’s hand in mine. I accepted it without hesitation, because of all the things I hated about this fake wedding, there was one thing that warmed my heart and made me believe that one day my wife would love me back, again, just like she did years ago…
Without looking at me, Rhea stepped closer to the altar and the ceremony began.
I didn’t hear or see anyone but her. She looked like she couldn’t believe she was doing it – marrying me of all the men she ever met.
When I finally managed to catch her eyes, her eyelids fluttered, as if she was about to cry. Or maybe I was imagining things, because a second later, she smiled at me with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen to touch her lips. I almost believed she really mean it.
God, those lips… When was the last time I kissed them? Twelve years ago? Felt like fucking forever to me. Did she even remember our last kiss? Did she remember it followed the moment she said she loved me? Or did she only remember the reason why we never kissed after that?
It was my fault, of course. But I didn’t want to think about it, not now.
Now all I wanted was to say the words I had been dying to say for years.
“I, Jeffrey, take you, Rhea as my wife. I promise to do my best to make you happy and to love you for as long as my fate allows me to.”
My vow was short, but I meant every word of it. I put a smooth platinum ring on her finger and kissed it.
Her hand shook beneath my lips.
With her trembling fingers, she took another ring from the plate given by the priest and looked at me saying, “I, Rhea, take you Jeffrey as my…husband and I promise to…love you for the rest of my life.” She swallowed and her eyes glued to my hand; she put a ring on my finger and turned back to the priest.
My heart sank.
It wasn’t exactly the way I imagined our wedding to be. But what should I expect from the woman I made marry me without any intention to be the wife I wanted her to be for me?
I should have thought twice.
I should have let her get what she wanted and then let her go.
Instead, I did my best to give her another reason to hate me to the bone and I couldn’t be happier about it. Because now I knew she would be mine and mine only.
All. My. Life.
CHAPTER 1
Twelve Years Ago
“This box is fucking heavy!” Levy complained, dragging one of my boxes to the dorm. “What did you put in there – your school collection of Playboy and a four-year stock of condoms to make sure you have enough to share with your roommates?”
I chuckled. “Sorry, man, I thought it would be better to pack all my stuff in just a few boxes than rent a twenty-ton truck and then unload a hundred of them. And double sorry for not bringing my collection of Playboy. Though if you need it, I’ll buy you a few issues for Christmas, I promise.”
“Don’t forget to keep that promise.”
Levy and I met just a few days ago when signing papers in the administration building and it turned out he was my roommate.
He huffed and puffed while walking to the elevator, then he said, “You know what? Putting twenty tons of your shit in just five boxes didn’t make it any easier. Are you sure you will need all of this?” He gave the rest of my boxes a skeptical look.
“Positive. Most of these are books.”
“What?”
“Books – small things with pages and letters that give you the needed information. Ever heard about them?”
“You’re nuts. We have free Wi-Fi in the dorm. Ever heard about it or the Internet in general?”
“Yeah, smartass, but I prefer old school.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Thanks. Now take that box and help me take it to the room. What floor is that again?” Levy was from a small town somewhere to the north from New York the name of which I couldn’t even remember. He was so happy about being accepted to New York University; he packed his only bag and came to the city a week earlier. So unlike me, he had enough time to unpack and look around the campus.
“Third floor, room № 301. It’s one of the best in the entire campus. Three separate bedrooms, living room, kitchen and a bathroom. The whole thing is bigger than my folks place.”
“Sounds great.” I wasn't surprised to hear that. No doubt, my dad did his best to make sure I got the best room. Not that I ever asked for it. But he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to demonstrate just how much power he had. Over me included.
I loved my parents a lot and I was thankful for everything they had ever done for me, but I hated the idea of being judged by my second name only. That’s why when it came to choosing my future career, I told mom and dad to stay out of it. Needless to say, they were more than happy to hear that I was accepted without a single call from my father who, by the way, was one of my university graduates.
Levy and I entered the dorm hall and I mentally thanked whoever invented elevators, because without one, I would most likely leave all my stuff outside and go take a much-needed shower without giving a shit about what was going to happen to my precious ‘library’. Maybe Levy was right after all and I did need more boxes to simplify my life and well, his, considering he was the only person who willingly agreed to help me today.
“Home, sweet home,” he sang, opening the door to our room. He let the heavy box go and it landed loudly on the floor. “Oops, I hope you didn’t put any ‘glass’ books in there.”
“No, just paper ones.”
“Good. Because I don’t think I would be able to pay for them. Or even if I would, paying for books is not what I’m going to spend my money on.”
I smirked. “Don’t you know that you will need a hell of a lot of books for your classes?”
“Yeah, well, my studentship will cover it.”
“Lucky you, smarty.”
He smiled as proud of himself as ever. “That’s me. I may not be the best roommate you could have, but I definitely know a lot about everything, especially psychology. ‘Wanna talk about it?’ is my favorite question to ask. By the way, if you ever need a therapist, I will gladly practice on you.”
“No, thank you. My sanity and I are always on the same page. What about the other roommate? There were supposed to be three of us living in here, right?”
“Yeah, Kenneth is at work now. He’s a third-year student in the biology department.”
“Where does he work?”
“In the university lab. He’s assisting one of his professors in different scientific projects.”
“Wow, looks like I’m going to share a room with two nerds. Lucky me.”
“I have heard a few things about you as well.” Levy crossed his arms over his chest and watched me with an unhidden smirk in his light-green eyes that went with a thatch of curly blond hair. “Your daddy’s been sponsoring this place for quite a long time.”
I smiled. “Doe
s it bother you? The fact that you are going to live with the ‘golden boy’?”
“I don’t give a fuck about who your father is, as long as his donations help me get my studentship.”
My face became serious. “I’m not here because he wanted me to study here. It was my choice. And trust me, I needed to work my ass off to get here without anyone’s help.”
“Now that’s a shocker… Turns out there will be three nerds living in here.”
I chuckled. “Hope we don’t bore each other to death.”
“Bore? The word is taboo. Don’t you dare say it in my presence, ever again!”
“Deal.”
About two hours later, after I took a shower and changed into clean clothes, I thought it was time to unpack the rest of my stuff and maybe find my toothpaste and a towel that were lost in one of those boxes left in the living room.
My phone buzzed in my hand. I unlocked it and saw about twenty messages from Kameron, Stanley and Liam. All three wanted to know about my new home, my new ‘playground’ as they called it. Somehow, they thought that studying and changing dates every day or so was a perfect plan to follow during my time in New York. Not that I was going to argue with them. They knew me too well to believe I would forget about ‘entertainment’.
“Pictures are a must!” Said, no - SCREAMED a message from Liam.
“Reports are needed by 6 AM in the morning. I want ALL the dirty details!” Said a message from Stanley.
“Blondes are so much better than brunettes,” were Kameron’s words. "Oh, and don't forget about redheads – they are THE HOTTEST."
I was about to type my responses, when something caught my attention.
I turned my head to where a sweet cherry smell of a girls’ perfume came from. And there she was…
A beautiful creature with long black hair that ended at her waist, wearing a pair of jean shorts that left so little for my spoiled imagination. She was with her back to me, so I couldn’t see her face. Though I already knew, it wouldn’t be a disappointment. I took my time to study her from the back.