by Diana Nixon
By noon, I was dying to call Rhea and ask her one more time if she was going to come to my birthday party, because somehow, I couldn't imagine it happening without her.
I came to my room, tossed my backpack on the bed and saw the untouched gift received earlier this morning.
"Well, let's see what I can do with you…" I took the quadcopter and th remote and carefully pressed the red button.
The flying thing raised into the air. "Wow… easy there, dude. We don't want you to break before we get a chance to test you, right?" I tried to make it turn and then fly higher and back to the floor again. When I knew I could control it, I opened the window and looked out.
A few people were passing by the dorm, but considering we lived on the fifth floor, they could hardly hear anything that was happening in my room. I carefully put the quadcopter on the windowsill and then piloted it outside, hoping it wouldn't fall on someone's head and break to pieces.
But the thing was quite easy to guide. I looked out again and counted the number of windows it needed to fly by to find Rhea's. It was five windows away from mine.
"A little higher," I said, as if the new toy could hear me. "Yeah, like that." I made the thing stop right in front of the needed window, hoping Rhea wouldn't hear the noise coming from the outside.
A few minutes later, the quadcopter returned to my windowsill, I took out a small memory card and placed it into my phone to watch the recording.
It turned out to be even more interesting than I expected…
"Damn…"
I felt like I had committed a crime I would be sent to prison for.
The camera caught Rhea when she was changing. She was with her back to the window and thanks to the camera's high resolution I could see every curve of her body and even a tattoo on her back. I zoomed in the picture to see the details. Turned out that the word 'Forever' was written down her spine, intertwining with the small roses that I had seen before. I suppose the tattoo was dedicated to her mom. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much losing her hurt. I couldn't change anything, but I truly hoped thinking about her would become easier with time.
I returned the picture to the original size and took my time to watch the rest of the recording that I was sure I would be watching on repeat many times.
"Put on the white one," I texted to Rhea, referring to the shirts she had been changing, standing in front of the mirror. I was dying to see her face now that she read the message.
My phone buzzed and I saw her name flash on the screen.
I smiled and answered the call, "Hello?"
"Are you spying on me?" She asked, instead of greeting me.
"I'm in my room. How do you think I can spy on you when staying here?"
"Oh, I'm sure you would find a way to do anything you wanted."
"If that were true, you would be in my arms now…"
"Then how can you explain the fact that you know I had been trying different shirts?"
"Well… I thought you should be back from classes by now, and must be looking for something to change into. And I love your white shirts. Last I checked they perfectly outlined your…chest."
"Aha. Liar! You wouldn't know I was back from classes." I heard the noise on the other end of the line.
"Did you just open your window?" I guessed.
"Yes. I'm trying to figure out where you put a camera to spy on me."
"Relax, Rhea. There's no camera out there. But if you want to find the missing part of the puzzle, come to the party tonight."
"You won't let it go, will you?"
"How could I? You know how much I want to see you again."
"I gotta go, Jeffrey. There's something very important I need to do before coming to the party." She hung up the phone and I felt like my whole body fill with joy and anticipation.
Just a few more hours to wait…
***
Rhea
I was late for Jeffrey's party. After almost three hours spent in the library writing a paper for Monday's History class, I could hardly think about anything but getting to my room and resting until the end of the world or so. But I couldn't afford such a luxury. Fifteen minutes were the maximum I could spend on taking a shower, changing my clothes and packing the things that I was going to take home for the weekend.
"You look like you've just climbed the Statue of Liberty with nothing but your hands and legs to support you." Sandy looked at me from head to toe and frowned. "Is that a bruise on your left cheek?"
"A what?" Surprised, I looked into the mirror and breathed a sigh of relief. "No, it's just a bronzer."
"Don't you know there are like five mirrors over here you could use to apply it properly?"
"I'm in a rush."
"The party, I know. But the rush doesn't justify showing up there like you've been hit by a train. Come here, I'll fix your makeup a bit. And your hair. It looks too messy." She took a brush and removed the unhealthy amount of bronzer I used. I only used it when I wanted my skin to glow and I still needed to learn how to do it properly.
"How's Kenneth feeling, by the way?"
"Good. I think. I haven't seen him since yesterday."
"Poor thing, he's gonna cry himself to another broken leg when he finds out about you and Jeffrey."
I made a face. "There's nothing to find out about."
"Yet."
"We are just friends."
"Aha. Keep telling yourself that and maybe you will believe this bullshit." She turned me to the mirror and nodded approvingly. "Now, you are ready to go."
I don't know why, but I was all nerves. My palms were sweating and my heart was about to jump out of my chest, making it harder to breathe freely. It's not like Jeffrey and I were having a date, or something. It was just a party that both he and I were going to attend. But still, it felt like there would be no one but us…
"The birthday boy will be as happy as a clam at high tide to see you."
Just when Sandy and I opened the door to the room full of guests, the meaning of her words hit me. "It's Jeffrey's birthday party?"
"You sound like you didn't know it."
"Because I didn't…" I looked around the room and cursed mentally.
Why didn't he tell me it was his birthday party?
"Look! He's waving at you."
I waved back and forced a smile, feeling like a complete fool. He started to walk to where I was standing and I suddenly wanted to leave without a word.
"Hey, I'm glad you've made it." He smiled from ear to ear and my stupid heart melted.
What a traitor…
"I didn't know it was going to be your birthday party, and I wonder why you never told me a word about it…"
He laughed at my obviously disappointed face. "I hate my birthday."
"But I didn't bring a present to give you."
His smiling eyes found mine. Then he lowered his head and said into my ear, "You are here – that's the best present I could have ever gotten from you."
The scent of his cologne reached my nostrils – a mixture of wood and …
"Cherry?"
His knowing grin was disarming. "I knew you would love it. I bought it yesterday. Never used it before. But I think now it's gonna be my favorite cologne."
I liked his cologne, as well as many other things about him. It's just… I didn't know if that was a good or a bad sign.
"Come with me," he said, pulling me by the hand.
"Where are we going?"
No response followed. But when we entered his bedroom and then he closed the door behind us, I knew I was trapped. In every meaning of the word.
He stood behind me, and I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I seemed to be unable to turn around and look at him.
"This room has never felt so small," he said in a low, husky voice.
I didn't move or say anything in response. The room did feel small.
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
It was semi-dark in the room because the curtains were
shut, and there was nothing but a single lamp in the corner to illuminate the space around us. Despite that, I knew he could see me, and I didn't mean my body. He could see everything that I was so bad in trying to hide – the fear, the hesitation, the attraction, the desire…
"Turn around," he said softly.
God, it felt like the hardest thing to do, ever.
But still, I gathered all the courage I had and slowly turned to face him.
The look in his eyes… So dark and alluring. Even in the twilight, I could see the danger shining in his gaze. It screamed 'RUN!'. But I stayed… Stayed and let it consume me.
I remembered the words I said about the kiss, and I wondered if he was recalling them too.
We stared at each other as if in a silent argument. I knew what he wanted, as well as I knew how much I wanted him to do it. Nothing needed to be said, our eyes said it all for us.
The battle was over in no time flat. Neither of us had enough strength to keep resisting the obvious. His fingers touched my chin, lips leaned closer to mine.
"What are you doing?" I asked, as if I didn't know the answer.
"I'm taking my most-wanted present for this birthday."
The words stole my breath and I suddenly felt like stepping back, finding at least one more reason to escape the kiss, but Jeffrey wouldn't let me.
"Enough," he breathed into my parted lips. Then he wrapped one arm around me and pressed me hard against his chest. "Enough running, Rhea."
Everything that happened next went in a blur. His lips covered mine, gently, carefully. It wasn't one of those primal kisses when a guy wants to show all of his power over you. No, this kiss was different – almost seducing, almost loving, almost sexual. But not enough to scare me away. It made me feel secure and somehow complete – the thing I thought I would never feel again.
His palm moved up my cheek, his fingers reached the back of my neck and the kiss deepened, still being sweet and hypnotizing.
I loved it. No one had ever kissed me like that. No one had ever made me want a kiss to last forever.
But Jeffrey, he definitely knew how to turn my every wish into his name.
We didn't pay any attention to the voices coming from behind the closed door or the music that was loud enough to be heard all over the campus. There were just the two of us, lost in each other, in the secrecy of the moment, in the intimacy of the kiss we were sharing. It was amazing…
When he broke the kiss and looked at me, the words I was going to say just a few seconds ago died on my tongue. He kissed them all away, breathed something new into my lungs and stole something very important.
Or maybe it was my heart that no longer belonged to me. Because he captured it, locked it somewhere I couldn't find it and made me a prisoner of my feelings for him, forever.
"How much time do we have?" He asked, still holding me in his tight embrace.
"About an hour." I told dad I would be at home by nine, and I knew he would stay up and wait for me.
"A whole hour…" Jeffrey whispered, with his eyes on my lips. "They are gonna be swollen."
After that, I stopped keeping track of time or counting the kisses we shared. I just let it go, dying to get as much as I could from an hour of being his and his only.
A part of me knew it wasn't going to end well, but I refused to give that thought a second chance. Everything about the moment was just too perfect to ruin it.
If only I knew that the following night and my whole life would be ruined by the kiss that I accepted so willingly…
We didn't expect anyone to knock at the door or worse – come in and catch us making out, but when Levy shouted, 'Hey, Birthday Boy, everyone wants you here!', there was no way to ignore him. Knowing Levy, he would make the guests break the damn door and my humiliation would hit the roof.
"I'm coming!" Jeffrey shouted back and everyone laughed.
"Take your time man!" Followed Levy's smartass comment.
I giggled. "You couldn't say anything less double-meaning, could you?"
Smiling, he gave me another kiss and said, "One day, those words will have only one meaning."
"Wow…aren't you rushing things a bit?"
"I'm not stopping at one kiss, Rhea."
"There was more than one kiss, a lot more."
"You know what I mean. Now that I have finally claimed your lips, I'm gonna claim every small part of you as well. Remember my words. There's no turning back from this."
Uh, if only I could turn back time and never come to that party at all, or go to a different university and never meet Jeffrey. But my karma turned out to be a first-class bitch.
"Let's go."
"Wait!" I pulled him by the hand. "I don't want anyone to see us together. For now."
He rolled his eyes. "They know I'm not alone in here. Stop being a coward."
"The problem is…"
"Kenneth. I know. Fine, stay here if you want. Just promise you won't leave without saying good-bye. I'm gonna miss you…"
I sighed. "No matter how soon it is to admit it, but I'm gonna miss you too."
His quiet laughter was like music to my ears. "I always knew you were crazy about me."
"Don't be an ass, Jeffrey. Better go entertain your guests. You don't want to become famous for the most boring birthday party ever, do you?"
"I'd rather stay here and entertain you instead."
"Maybe next time." I winked at him.
"I'll be dreaming about the next time, Cherry." He kissed me one more time and then left; the guests met him with cheers.
I shook my head and looked around his room. Something caught my eye. It looked like a robot or something. I stood up from the bed and came to Jeffrey's desk, where the box with the robot thing was standing.
"Oh, you, sly fox…" It turned out to be a quadcopter. Now I knew how he managed to spy on me. Not that I was going to forget about it. I turned on the metal thing and said into the camera, "You are in a whole mess of trouble, young man."
I waited for about ten minutes and then joined Sandy in the kitchen. She was refilling a glass of what smelled like a margarita.
"It's a forbidden thing." I pointed to the glass in her hands.
"Look who's talking about forbidden. I saw you leaving Jeffrey's bedroom."
"So what? I couldn't find the bathroom."
"That's what I thought." She smiled knowingly and took a sip of her drink. "Just look at Mr. Coleman's face: it's glowing like a Christmas tree! I wonder if you have anything to do with it…"
My eyes followed Sandy's and my heart dropped to my feet. "What did you just call him?"
"Mr. Coleman. It's Jeffrey's second name. Why?"
"Jeffrey Coleman… Oh, no…" My mind was racing. Memories from different days that Jeffrey and I spent together started to fill my head. Talks about his father and the choice of his career. Everything started to make sense. God, how could I be so stupid? "What have I done…"
My whole body shook; a lump formed in my throat.
"Rhea, are you okay?"
Jeffrey Coleman…
The name rang in my head like a death sentence. It couldn't be real… Why? Why is this happening to me, again? The pain in my heart was searing. Tears ran down my face.
Run. I needed to run.
"Where are you going?" Sandy called after me.
But I wasn't listening to her, or the music or voices all around me. I slipped by the couple kissing right at the door, then into the hall and back into my room. Without seeing the floor under my feet, I somehow found my bag packed before the party and rushed to leave the campus and get far away from the guy whose name once destroyed my life forever.
Jeffrey Coleman… He was the son of the man I blamed for losing my mom. If it weren't for him, mom would still be alive!
CHAPTER 10
Six years ago
It was a sunny day outside. Late August brought a lot of amazing days to New York City. Fall was about to take over the reins, but it still felt like summer.
I stood at my mother's grave, two days after the funeral, lost and broken, and not even the sun had enough power to warm me up. I felt like my whole body was frozen and I would never feel the blood run through my veins again.
"You always loved August," I said to my mom, as if she could hear me now. I sat on a bench facing the memorial and cried, even though I was sure there were no more tears in my eyes to cry.
"What am I gonna do now?" I asked into the sky. "How am I supposed to start a new school year when there's no one to help me through it?" Dad was not an option. Right after the funeral, he called Mrs. Lemons, who used to stay with me when I was a kid and mom and dad needed to go to work. She arrived to spend a few weeks with me, until I 'got used to the situation'. Dad called mom's death 'a situation'. How could he be so cold? Or maybe losing her affected him more than I knew it and he simply didn't want to show just how much it hurt to stay at home where she would never live again.
I didn't know what was happening inside his head, he didn't talk to me much. All he said before he left for work earlier that morning was 'If you need anything, tell Mrs. Lemons or call me'." I nodded silently in response, waited for him to kiss my forehead – he always did that before leaving for work, then closed the door behind him and dived into my silent, lonely world.
Coming to the cemetery became a part of my everyday routine. Right after school, I went to see mom. No matter the weather or my mood, she was always smiling from the portrait and it made me feel better. I hoped she felt better too, somewhere where no pain existed.
A few weeks later, when leaving the cemetery, I saw a man coming to my mom's grave. The distance between us wouldn't let me see his face. But something was telling me he was about my parents' age. He was tall, with a bunch of dark-brown hair that moved in the wind. He was holding a bouquet of white roses – mom's favorite flowers. He put it on the grave and sat down on the bench that I left a few moments ago. He was still with his back to me, but even from a distance, I could see his shoulders were shaking. Was he crying? Who was he? And why had I never seen him before?
I decided to wait and talk to him when he would be leaving the cemetery, but Kora texted me saying I needed to go back to school and sign the schedule of additional classes or I was gonna piss the director and that was the last thing I needed to deal with right now.