by Scarlet West
I cried out wordlessly as the sensations rose and broke within me, my orgasm edging closer and closer. I could feel the tickling, heating ache of it as I pulled back and thrust in, again and again and again.
I panted and gasped as a crescendo broke over me like a wave. I kept on moving as my body responded, the force of my sensations like nothing I’d experienced before. I gritted my teeth and gasped again as they raced through me, my cock still aching. I had never come like that before, never felt that same plunging, wild intensity of feeling. Trina continued to writhe under me as I found my release deep inside of her.
At last, I rolled off and lay beside her, my skin damp with sweat. I rested a hand on her side, feeling her fast heartbeat. I opened my eyes, as a salty tear ran down my cheek. My heart was full, my body spent.
I looked at her and saw she was crying.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“Nothing,” she said. “Everything’s perfect.”
I reached for her and held her against me. She rolled over and we lay like that, her body pressed to mine. I could feel my heartbeat return to normal and I stroked her skin, feeing how cold her skin was.
I reached for the blanket and drew it over us and we lay like that, her body against mine, so close that I could feel her heartbeat as I lay there, not sure which beats were from her own heart and which were from mine. I could feel my own tears drying on my cheeks and I could see, if I opened my eyes, the faint tracks of hers still bright in the lamp’s light.
“Trina?” I whispered.
“Yes.”
“I love you.”
She sighed and I felt the breath shiver down through her chest. “I love you too,” she whispered back before we both fell asleep.
18
Drake
I woke up the next morning, feeling impossibly good and I smiled as I remembered why. Beside me in the bed I could feel a gentle warmth. I breathed in and smelled the scent of Trina’s skin.
“Are you awake?” I whispered, as she stirred and shifted toward me.
“Mm,” she whispered back.
I felt my loins respond and wished fervently it was weekend. I wanted to stay there all day and make love to her. I looked at the clock on the table opposite me.
Seven-forty-five. Time for work.
I tensed and then kissed the skin of her neck, regretting terribly that I had agreed to an early start today. I sighed and breathed the scent of her into my lungs, so I could carry it with me throughout the day.
“Trina,” I whispered as I squeezed her waist, feeling my cock jump painfully just from touching her soft, sweet body.
“What?” she whispered, rolling over and pressing her body to mine in a way that made me shudder.
“Time to go.”
She pulled a face, but nodded. “I guess. What is it?”
“Seven forty-five.”
She made wide eyes. “Oh, shit,” she whispered back. “I have to grab Amelia. I have to go.”
“Yes,” I nodded. “I guess.”
“I want to tell her today,” she whispered.
“Me too,” I agreed. “Should we tell her now?”
“Now?” She sat up, and I was pleased to see the expression in her eyes – half wonder, half excitement. “You think that we could?”
“Sure,” he nodded. “Of course.”
“Can you come with me to pick her up?”
“Sure, I can,” I nodded again. “ If we really hurry, I’ll have time to get us some breakfast first.”
She giggled, disbelieving.
I rolled over, kissed her and stood to go to the shower, feeling as if I’d just won an Oscar and the lottery.
When I came out of the shower she was neatening up the room. She was naked, and the light from the window shone on her soft form. I tensed and had to use every inch of my strength to resist going over and putting her straight back on the bed beneath me.
“Your turn,” I said instead.
“Thanks, my gallant man.” She teased me with her eyes. I chuckled.
I heard the shower go on and imagined her there for a moment, the water running down her sweet curves, each drip clinging to her body. I shook myself and focused on more immediate concerns, like where the hell I’d put my socks. I pulled them out from under the bed and heard her giggle.
“Not bad.”
I shot upright, red, aware she was looking at my bottom with an admiring glance.
“I work out from time to time.”
“I noticed.”
Ten minutes later, dressed and ready, we headed downstairs to my car. I hopped in and unlocked her door and she slipped in beside me. I held her hand as we drove to Skyler’s to pick up our daughter.
Our daughter. Would I ever get used to saying that? Being a father was still such a novel idea, but one that was quickly growing on me.
En route, Trina’s phone rang, and she answered. Skyler was running out for some errands and offered to drop Amelia off at Trina’s place instead. She told her what time we’d be there and disconnected the call.
When we got to the Trina’s flat, I stopped the car by the curb. I drew a steadying breath. Imagining actually telling that beautiful little girl I was her daddy felt impossible.
“Drake? What’s up?”
“Nothing,” I choked. “Just a little scared I guess. Of what she’ll think,” I quickly clarified.
She smiled and took my hand. I let myself feel relaxed as her hand gently squeezed my fingertips.
“We are here together,” she reminded me.
I held her hand a moment longer, then, sighing, feeling my heart thudding in my chest, unlocked my door and got out.
Together, we walked to the apartment. I had only been there twice before. That morning, I felt like my skin was thin and every detail pressed on me, from the smooth cement of the step to the scent of dust in the stairwell. I swallowed through a tight throat as we stopped on the second floor.
“Let’s go?”
I nodded. “Let’s, then.”
She stepped out first and put the key in the lock. I held my breath and waited for her to open it. I could feel my heart’s each beat thudding in my chest. I felt worse than at my final exams, worse than my first act.
What one person thought – this one person, my baby – meant more to me than anything I could ever have imagined before.
“Okay,” Trina said, as she opened the door.
“Mommy!” a little voice yelled out, excitedly. She came running up, on eager feet. She saw me standing with her mother in the doorway and stopped short. She frowned.
“Mommy?”
I tensed. I felt Trina’s hand reach for mine. The little girl’s eyes – green, just like mine – wandered from her mother’s face, to me.
“Dearest?” Trina said gently. “We have something to tell you.”
I heard her say other things, and Amelia answered her. I was barely aware of the words – every bit of me was focused on my daughter, studying her. I drank in the green of her eyes, the wavy soft hair, the pointed chin that was partly like Trina and partly me. I sought traces of myself in her face and saw so many that it was nearly impossible that I hadn’t seen it right away. She was her own person, a fusion of Trina and me that transcended either of us, becoming a third, beautiful whole.
“What do you have to tell me, mommy?” she inquired.
“Well,” Trina started, and I could hear her voice was trembling. I took her hand, this time, to support her.
Skyler, who’d been standing in the background when we’d first come in, scooted around us and out the door silently, with a quick squeeze of Trina’s arm.
Trina waited and our daughter shrugged, then sat down on the couch. Trina knelt in front of her, taking her hand in her own. I stood back a little, feeling unsure of myself. Somehow I still didn’t feel like I belonged. Trina frowned at me, and the tension in her face made me step forward and put my hand on her shoulder for support.
“Lovey, remember I always
told you there was something I’d never said to you about your daddy? That one day, I would tell you?”
“Yes.” Amelia’s voice was hesitant, curious. I saw her eyes go over Trina’s face and to me, briefly, then return. I wondered how much of the story she was already piecing together in her mind.
If she guessed, she looks far from pleased.
“Well, it’s time for me to tell you.”
“Yes?” Amelia sounded interested, and I saw a spark of interest glimmer in her eyes.
I held my breath.
“Remember what I said?”
“Yes. You said that daddy lived far away, and one day I might meet him.” Her voice was tight, as if she had repeated this in solitude many times.
My throat closed up and I held my breath.
“Yes,” Trina whispered. I could hear that she was tense now and I could feel a trembling in her shoulder that meant that, like me, she was struggling not to cry. “Well,” she whispered, “You can meet him now. Drake is your daddy, baby.”
“Him?”
Amelia sounded stunned. I held my breath, hoping that her next reaction wouldn’t be shock, or horror. I watched her neat features, her big eyes. She looked at me and I carried on holding my breath. Then, to my amazement, she giggled.
I smiled, surprise making it impossible to do anything else. Under my fingers, I felt Trina let out a long breath. She laughed too, then looked at me. I grinned.
“What, Amelia?” she asked. “What’s funny?”
“That’s why you were being all mushy together.” Amelia was beaming, and she looked from me to Trina, as if she had discovered a big secret.
We stared at our daughter, surprised by her conclusion.
“Mushy?” she asked. “We were?”
“Really?” I said.
She chuckled. “Yeah! Remember, mommy? I said so. And I was right.”
Trina laughed. “Well, I guess we were a bit absorbed.”
I looked from Trina to Amelia and back again, still not quite believing that Amelia had reacted with so little fuss. She seemed to accept me without really thinking about it. Now, she looked at her mother, a funny expression twisting her mouth.
Trina and I looked at each other. Her blue eyes sparkled and I couldn’t help laughing. I went over to Amelia and, like Trina, crouched down by the couch. I wanted to look into her eyes when I said what I had to say.
“Amelia,” I said softly. “I know I wasn’t in your life for a long, long time. I want to say I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want things to be like that. Now that I’ve found you and your mom,” I paused, swallowing hard as I looked at Trina, “I promise I will do my best to make up for all the years I was away.”
Amelia frowned, her mouth a little moue of confusion that was so much her mother I wanted to laugh. But Amelia looked deadly serious, and I turned to her, feeling concerned.
“What, sweetheart?”
“You lived far away,” Amelia said. “You never came to find us or even called or wrote ever. Why?”
I had no answer I could give to that. But Trina nodded fractionally and turned back to Amelia.
“Dearest, the secret is that you daddy never knew. I never told him about you. .”
“But why?” she asked, her little brows furrowing in confusion and her voice dropping so low we could barely hear her.
I felt Trina tense and I cleared my throat.
“I left town before we knew about you, sweetie,” I said quickly. “By the time your mom found out she was having you, I was far away in New York, and your mom didn’t know how to reach me. I’m just so grateful I found you now.”
“I see,” she said, but she was still pouting and I could tell she wasn’t happy about the situation. I frowned.
“Amelia,” I said. “I want to make this up to you. Would you and your mom like to come back to New York with me? Like a vacation?”
Trina looked at me, and I swallowed, trying to muster a placation for what I thought would be a negative reaction or an unsure one. Instead, Amelia’s response was instant.
“New York?” She shot out of her chair, her grin so excited you would have thought I’d suggested a trip to Disneyland. “Really? That’s where you live? We can visit?”
“I don’t know, Amelia, ” Trina said carefully, though she was looking at me when she said it. Her eyes shone.
“Just a week,” I promised. “I understand it’s difficult for your work. And I’ll take care of everything. Tickets, accommodation, whatever you need. It’s my treat.”
As I said it, I had a vision of Trina in my beautiful New York home. I imagined how wonderful it would be to share it with her, how incredible it was to have a family, already here. I didn’t need to wait years and years to have a full life – it had just arrived, practically gift-wrapped.
“Drake,” Trina shook her head. “We can’t impose.”
“It’s not an imposition!” I protested. “I want you there. I think part of me always wanted it every since I left town.”
“Really?” Trina whispered. Her eyes filled with tears again and my heart contracted, realizing how cruel it had been to leave and never say goodbye.
“Yes,” I whispered, reaching for her hand. “I wanted it more than anything in the world.”
“We’re going to New York!” Amelia exclaimed. She shot out of her seat and danced around the room, singing it loudly. “New York, we’re going to New York!”
Under the cover of the noise and celebratory whoops, I leaned over and let my arms fasten round Trina as our daughter danced joyously around the room.
19
Trina
When Drake reluctantly left, Amelia was at least quiet again. I made her something to eat and set about folding the laundry in the basket from the previous day. I watched my daughter and wondered how I had ended up so damn lucky. My choices over the past ten years could have easily backfired on me, but instead, I might just be able to have the best of both worlds. I didn’t feel like I deserved it.
I swallowed hard, thinking over the events of the morning and the previous day. I reckoned I would never forget the expression on his face when I finally told Drake about Amelia. My throat got tight just thinking about it. His wonder and amazement were the most touching things I’d ever seen.
“Mommy?” Amelia drew my attention back to the moment. “What does Daddy do? In New York, I mean?”
I smiled, my heart skipping with joy to hear her refer to Drake that way. She’d received him without question. In fact, I thought it made her quite happy. Now, I smiled at her.
“Don’t you remember after the day at the farm? When you told me I was acting weird?” I prompted.
She scrunched her nose up for a minute before she put a finger in the air. “Oh yeah, you said he was an actor. Is he really?”
I smiled and nodded my head. “Yep, he really is.”
“Wow!” She jumped up in her seat, her face split with a grin. “Really? Like Brad Pitt?”
I laughed aloud. “Well, he’s easily as good looking,” I admitted. She pulled a face at me and I chuckled. “But not quite. He’s a stage actor. On Broadway. He does plays and things like that.”
“Wow.” She whistled, clearly impressed. She had heard of Broadway, and it was in her mind at least as impressive as Hollywood, maybe more.
“So, that’s cool, huh?” I queried,.
“All of my friends are going to be jealous,” she said.
I smiled. I imagined there would be quite a lot of news flying around summer camp. I bit my lip, wondering what the other parents would make of that. I had received some judgmental comments and the odd sneer in the past, as a single mom with no name to put down on the forms where it said “father”. How were they going to digest this news?
“I imagine they will be,” I said mildly. Amelia beamed. It wasn’t the other parents, or the teachers, whose opinion mattered, I realized. Amelia liked Drake, and that was the only important thing.
She sat silently, and I could see
her frowning. “Why’s he here?” was her next question.
“He’s making a documentary. About Bridgeway.”
“Why?”
That made me laugh. “It’s his hometown,” I said.
Her face fell. “Why’d he leave?” Her green eyes were puzzled, full of hurt.
“He left because of work,” I explained. “Not many theaters here in Bridgeway.”
“Uh huh,” she nodded, understanding at once. “Why didn’t you try to find him?”
I swallowed. This was dangerous territory. She was looking at me searchingly and I realized that in many ways, though she was only nine, my daughter was growing up. She was trying to understand what had happened between Drake and me, and why he went away.
“It’s a really long story full of lots of grown up stuff. I know you hate it when I tell you that, but for now, you’ll just have to trust me. But you need to know that I have never once been sad that you came into my life. Being your mom has been the best and most important thing I’ve ever done. You bring me so much joy and make my life so much better than I ever imagined it could be. And you’re going to do that for your daddy too. He was so excited to find out about you,” I told my daughter, pulling her to me and stroking her hair.
“What did he say?” Amelia whispered into my chest. “When you told him about me?”
She gazed up and I smiled through my tears. “He said it was amazing. He couldn’t believe he was the dad of such an awesome kid.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
I looked into her eyes and I felt, strangely, as if the knowing about Drake had changed her. She seemed to have come into a strange sort of balance, a peace that I’d never seen in her eyes before suddenly apparent.
She has always felt the lack of a father.
It shocked me, in a way, that I’d never noticed. I guess I’d been too preoccupied with things like school fees, laundry, bills, and putting food on the table.. I hadn’t thought about her feelings – not really.
That was going to change, I promised myself. Now that she had two parents, Amelia would never starve for love again. I knew Drake would be a devoted father. And having him to share the tasks with would help me be a more devoted mom.