“Thank you for inviting me.”
She greeted Walter and Ernst, then mounted, reining the horse north, waiting for the others. Glancing over her shoulder once more, not spotting the one person she most wanted to see, she kicked the horse and rode out of town.
Caleb stood at the jail window, ignoring the pain in his chest at the sight of May riding away. He’d seen her look his way, not seeing him standing inside, and wondered if she felt the same loss as him.
He’d hoped to talk with May after church, but Isaac complained of a stomach ache. They’d barely made it home before his son lost his entire breakfast, then fell asleep. Caleb hadn’t left his side all day or that night. Monday morning, Isaac woke ready to eat and play, as if he’d never been sick.
Caleb hesitated to leave after Isabella arrived to watch Isaac, acquiescing when she’d shooed him outside. An hour later, he stood at the jail window, sipping coffee. He’d been watching the men working to finish the church until a figure across the street caught his attention. May hurried across the street toward Noah’s. Not long afterward, she’d ridden toward the Pelletier ranch with her father, Walter, and Ernst.
“What’s going on with you and May?” Mack sat in one of the well-worn wooden chairs, holding a dented tin cup filled with coffee.
Making a slow turn toward him, Caleb’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
Mack leaned back in the chair, his lips twisting with suspicion. “When was the last time you and May didn’t sit together at church?”
His expression didn’t change. “A while. Does Dom have an interest in her?” He hadn’t meant to ask, grimacing when it was too late to take the question back.
“No, Dom doesn’t have an interest in May, and don’t change the subject. She won’t say anything to Sylvia or me, so I’m asking you.”
Shredding fingers through his hair, he blew out a disgusted breath. “I told her about my past.”
Mack’s brows lifted. “I’ll be damned. I didn’t think you’d ever share what you’d been through with anyone.”
“Except you.”
Mack gave a curt nod. “Except me.” He blew across the top of his cup, taking a sip of the hot brew. “Did you tell her everything?”
Caleb nodded. “All of it.”
Setting the cup down, Mack leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. “What did she say?”
Frustration clouded his features. “Nothing. Not one damn word before she walked out.” Scrubbing a hand down his face, Caleb lowered himself into a chair beside Mack. “She hasn’t spoken to me since.”
“We both know I’m not good at this, but it seems you might want to go to her. May’s shy and tends to think too much. You may want to let her know you’re still interested in seeing her. Do whatever’s needed to get her to talk to you.” A smirk crossed Mack’s face. “Unless you no longer have an interest in her.”
Caleb replied with a disgusted snort. “I plan to marry her. That’s why it was so important she know about my past. It wouldn’t be right to have her learn about it later.”
Mack whistled. “Marry? I didn’t know you’d made a decision.”
“It doesn’t do me much good if May can’t understand why I made the decisions I did.”
Scraping the chair over the wooden floor, Mack stood. “Do you want me to talk to Sylvia? Maybe she can get through to May, convince her to see you.”
Caleb shook his head. “Thanks, Mack, but I need to be the one to approach May.”
“She doesn’t work today. Bring Isaac to our place this evening, then go find her.” Mack clasped Caleb on the shoulder.
“What if she won’t see me?”
Shaking his head, Mack chuckled. “Never thought I’d see a time when Caleb Covington could be cowered by a little bit of a woman.”
Muttering several curses, Caleb stood. Grabbing his hat, he headed to the door. “I’ll bring Isaac over after supper. You’d better let Sylvia know.”
Slamming the door behind him, he headed up the boardwalk, his gaze landing on the men working on the church. Leaning against a post, Caleb watched. He’d rather be cutting boards or hammering nails. Something physical to take his mind off May.
“Hey, Caleb. Gabe allowing you to be a deputy today?” Dom Lucero brushed dirty hands down his coat, stepping onto the boardwalk next to him.
“Someone has to protect the town. I didn’t know you’d decided to come back until Mack told me.” Caleb studied Sylvia’s brother, a Texas Ranger who’d come to Splendor in search of his sister. She’d run away from her wealthy family in Texas, arriving in town as a mail order bride with May and two other young women.
“I got as far as Denver and got a telegram from my captain. There’s a man wanted for murder in Texas and is reported to be in Montana. I turned around and came back.” Dom looked up at the clear sky. “Riding through Wyoming in the winter is tough.”
Chuckling, Caleb nodded. “I know.”
“Do you ever regret leaving the Rangers?”
The question surprised Caleb. He had many regrets. Quitting the Rangers after Regina’s death wasn’t one of them. “No. If my fiancée hadn’t been murdered, I might still be living in Austin.”
Dom nodded, as if he understood. Looking up, his gaze landed on a young woman strolling on the boardwalk across the street. He watched until she slipped inside the boardinghouse.
“Do you still have an interest in Tabitha Beekman?”
“I guess you haven’t heard.”
Caleb tilted his head. “Heard what?”
“A man she’s known all her life sent her a letter with money for passage back home. He proposed. She’s leaving town to join him.” His lips tilted into a sardonic smile. “Seems I didn’t move fast enough.”
Caleb grinned along with him. “You don’t seem too bothered by it.”
Dom shook his head. “There are lots of women and I’ve got plenty of time.” Sending an appraising look at Caleb, the corners of his mouth twitched. “I understand May Bacon might be available.”
The answer came fast when Caleb grabbed the front of Dom’s coat, face etched in anger. “May is not available.” Seeing a gleam in Dom’s eyes, he let go, muttering a curse.
Dom held up his hands, palms out. “Message received.”
Shaking his head, Caleb shoved both hands into his coat pockets, offering no explanation.
“She’s a good woman and there are more single men coming west every day, Caleb. My suggestion is to find a way to make it permanent before you lose her.”
May felt terrible. She missed Caleb and knew the tension between them was her fault. She’d had plenty of time to think through all he’d told her, the difficult decisions he’d made, the deaths he’d witnessed. She ached for all he’d suffered.
After he’d revealed his past, May had walked out, unable to comprehend all she’d learned. Days later, she still hadn’t had the courage to face him, ask the questions which kept her up at night.
She’d spent most of the day with her father, Walter, and Ernst at the Pelletier’s. Dilly had been more than impressed with the horse breeding and training program at the ranch, as well as Travis Dixon and Wyatt Jackson. Along with Luke, they were the two men most responsible for their success.
They’d stayed several hours, long enough for Dilly to purchase a horse for May and discuss the possibility of shipping several animals back to New Jersey. Quarter horse racing had gained in popularity each year and her father had been searching for an opportunity to offer competitive mounts. A partnership with Dax and Luke might be the answer.
At four in the afternoon, May sat by the window in her bedroom, hoping to spot Caleb. She’d spent much of the day building up her courage. If she didn’t talk with him today, she might not do it at all. An introvert, she’d always shied away from difficult conversations. May couldn’t allow herself to ignore this one.
Ready to turn away, her heart raced when Caleb stepped out of the jail, taking a quick look up at her window. For an ins
tant, their eyes met and held. She raised a hand, comforted when he returned the wave. All too soon, he turned, heading between buildings to his house.
Letting out an unsteady breath, yet feeling better than she had in days, May began her preparations to face Caleb. Laying her best dress on the bed, she began her toilette, brushing her blonde hair until the long strands gleamed. After wrapping it into an appealing style, she slipped into a clean chemise and her most stylish dress.
Checking herself in the mirror, May pressed a hand to her chest, trying to calm the incessant thumping. She winced. It sounded loud enough for Suzanne to hear in the kitchen downstairs. Picking up the small watch pendant that had belonged to her mother, May saw it was close to five thirty. Enough time for Caleb to have prepared supper for Isaac and himself.
Ignoring the low rumbling in her stomach, she grabbed her coat and hurried downstairs, hoping to beg a biscuit off Suzanne. May tentatively stepped into the kitchen.
“Good evening, Suzanne.”
Looking up from arranging meat and potatoes on two plates, she smiled. “Good evening, May. It appears you’re going out.”
She nodded, feeling heat creep up her face, certain her cheeks were turning a light rose. “I wondered if you might have a biscuit I could take with me.”
Tilting her head, Suzanne’s features softened. “You’re welcome to as many as you want. Let me wrap a few for you.”
May stopped herself from saying she only needed one. Perhaps Caleb would appreciate having a few for Isaac. Besides, she’d become used to bringing food when visiting him.
“Here you are. Make sure you bundle up. It’s looking like snow again tonight.”
Taking the covered plate, May smiled. “Thank you, Suzanne.”
Stopping in the parlor to button her coat and carefully cover her head with a wool scarf, May took a moment to calm herself. Inhaling and exhaling several breaths, she pursed her lips, ready to face Caleb. Picking up the plate, she left before allowing herself enough time to change her mind.
Crossing a street still thick with wagons and riders, May hurried between the buildings. A familiar scene met her when she reached Caleb’s street. Smoke trailed upward from the three wood stoves in his house. Soft yellow light shown through the curtains hanging over the windows.
Forcing her legs forward, May stepped onto the porch, swallowing the anxiety gripping her. Raising her hand to knock, she yelped when the door opened.
“May!” Isaac stood inside, pointing at her while looking toward the bedroom.
Looking behind him, her breath caught in her throat. Caleb walked out of his bedroom, shirt open, showing the same hard chest she’d been held against the previous week. She didn’t realize she’d been staring until hearing Caleb’s soft chuckle.
“Hello, May.”
Shifting her gaze from his chest, she looked up, embarrassed to see the humor in his eyes.
“Hello, Caleb.” She glanced down. “Hello, Isaac.”
“Hello,” he giggled.
Noticing Isaac wore boots and a coat, May took a step back. “It looks like you’re going out.”
Buttoning his shirt, Caleb continued to watch her, his grin never faltering. “I’m taking Isaac over to Sylvia and Mack’s. They’re going to take care of him while I go out for a bit.”
Pain flashed through her as the meaning of his words became clear. Chest squeezing, she took another step backward. “Oh. Well, I won’t keep you.” Turning to leave, May stopped when a strong hand grabbed her arm.
“I was coming to see you.”
Chapter Thirteen
May sat perched on the edge of the sofa, hands fidgeting in her lap as she waited for Caleb. His announcement about being on his way to see her had surprised and excited her. He hadn’t revealed why he’d planned to go to the boardinghouse. Instead, Caleb asked her to wait until he returned from taking Isaac to stay with Sylvia and Mack.
She jumped when the door flew open. Caleb entered, brushing snow from his clothes, his gaze not leaving hers. Taking the few short strides to the sofa, he stopped, staring down at her.
“Do you want some coffee?” He glanced over his shoulder at the kitchen. “Or whiskey?” His lips twitched as he turned back to her.
A small smile broke across her face. “Whiskey would be fine.”
Tilting his head, he cocked a brow. “Are you sure?”
“Is that what you’re going to have?”
“I hadn’t decided. But if that’s what you want, then I can’t let you drink alone.”
Striding to the kitchen, he filled two shot glasses, carrying them back to the sofa. Handing May one, Caleb sat down next to her. Touching the edge of her glass, he took a sip, watching as she did the same. Hers was a smaller sip, as if testing the taste for the first time. Face grimacing, she swallowed the liquid, watery eyes looking up at him.
Before May had time to comprehend his action, Caleb leaned down, brushing a kiss across her lips. Pulling back, his amused gaze watched her. “Do you drink whiskey often?”
She shook her head. “My first time.”
Taking the glass from her hand, he downed the contents, then finished his. Setting both glasses aside, he rested a hand over hers.
“What brought you over here tonight, May?”
Biting her lower lip, she met his gaze. “Why were you coming to see me?”
A low chuckle burst from him before his face sobered. “It’s been almost a week. I’ve missed you, May. Seeing you through your bedroom window this evening, well…I couldn’t wait any longer.” He squeezed her hand, lifting one shoulder. “I wasn’t sure you’d see me after all you learned last week.”
“I wouldn’t have turned you away, Caleb.” The weary, whispered response cut into him.
“Why did you come to see me?” He shoved aside the hope May wanted to continue seeing him, not daring to wish for more than he deserved.
Her bottom lip trembled, stopping when the pad of Caleb’s thumb stroked across it. “Tell me, May.”
Nodding, she let out a ragged breath. “I shouldn’t have left you last week before we had a chance to talk through all you told me.”
“It was a lot to learn at one time.”
“Yes, but you deserved more than me walking out on you.” She swallowed. “I understand why you left your family to join the Union cause, and why you didn’t return home. What you endured when your fiancée was murdered, well, I can’t imagine the pain, Caleb. Although I might not have gone after her killers, I respect your decision to hunt them down. They deserved a merciless death for ending the life of such a wonderful young woman.”
Caleb’s brows rose. “You never met her.”
“No, but you told me all about Regina.” Her chest tightened. “You loved her very much.”
His throat constricted, remembering Regina’s laughing face, bright eyes, and accepting ways. “I did.”
She nodded. “Whether you accept it or not, I believe you loved Sadie.” When he opened his mouth to protest, she held up a hand. “Not the same as Regina. No one will ever be able to take her place.” Shoving aside the ache in her chest, she continued.
“Your love for Sadie came from your shared sorrow and the unselfish way she nurtured you, brought you back to life after a terrible tragedy. Beyond that, she’s the mother of your son, a baby she kept even when you’d abandoned her.” She felt his hand tense in hers. “Sadie kept Isaac because she loved you, Caleb.”
Pulling his hand from hers, he stood, scrubbing both hands down his face while pacing away. Eyes closed, his heart pounded as familiar guilt clutched at his chest. Whirling back to face her, his features hardened.
“Tell me the rest, May.”
Glancing away, she searched for the right words. Hands trembling, she gathered her courage and began. “I love you, Caleb.” She drew in a breath. “I’ve known it for a while now. When you asked to court me, it was as if my every dream had come true. Then Isaac appeared.”
May saw the flicker of irritation i
n his eyes and rushed ahead. “He’s a wonderful boy and I love him as much as I do you. It’s just I don’t know where I fit into your life, Caleb. You loved Regina in a way you could never love me. Sadie held a place in your heart, whether you choose to accept it or not. Isaac is a symbol of what the two of you shared.”
She glanced away, not wanting Caleb to see the moisture gathering in her eyes. Waiting a moment, she looked back at him. “After the women you’ve loved, and now the love you have for Isaac, I don’t understand how you could still have space in your heart for me.”
Picking at the fabric of her skirt, she sighed. “Regina was the love of your life. She was a wonderful young woman whose heart was yours. I don’t know that I’d ever be able to measure up to her.” A face filled with misery lifted to meet his gaze. “I’m not certain I want to try.”
All the pain, the anger he’d felt, dissolved away. Holding out his arms, he took a step forward. “I do care about you, May.”
The hope she continued to foster faded. “I know you care about me, Caleb, and I’m grateful for it and our friendship.”
Caleb saw the future he hoped for begin to disappear. “You’re important to me, May.”
Standing, she walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. “You’re important to me, too, Caleb. So very important.”
Leaning away, he cupped her face with his large, rough hands. “What can I say to make you want to keep seeing me?”
Watery eyes met his. “It’s what you’ll never be able to feel for me, Caleb. You’re still in love with Regina.” Reaching up, she wrapped a hand around one of his wrists still cupping her face. “Maybe you just need more time.”
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