by T. S. Joyce
She tried to smile. “Keep it. I bought them for you and Dodge.”
His intense gaze dipped to the crackling bag, and she bolted for the cabin before he could say anything else to shred her.
The lock clicked behind her, and she slumped onto her bed as an anguished sob left her lips. Miles’s smiling face taunted her from the picture lying on the pillow. Crumpling the evidence of her naivety, she threw the hurtful paper against the wall. Miles, that son of a bitch, had made her into a weak woman. He’d ruined her from every relationship. She couldn’t be trusted to choose a decent man. Miles had tricked that ability from her.
The empty look in Aanon’s eyes had made her insides feel like a pin cushion. She’d never shake that vision of him as long as she breathed. How many times had Erin forced him to shut down?
It wasn’t fair. The woman used Dodge as leverage, and Aanon would always be on the losing end of it until he found a way to take her to court and iron out his custody in front of a judge. She wanted to laugh at Erin’s cruelty. Clever woman. She could do whatever she wanted, with whomever, and Aanon would be forced to live the way she dictated until she tired of the game. Which could be never.
None of this was her business.
Wasn’t that what Aanon said in Captain Pattie’s? It wasn’t her concern. Even if he were free to choose who he dated, it likely wouldn’t be a girl like her. She couldn’t be farther from Erin’s likeness if she morphed into a swamp rat. She wasn’t even circling the outermost edges of Aanon’s type.
Everything was better this way. She was pregnant and still reeling from Miles’s betrayal. And Aanon was about as unavailable as he could get. Neither one of them would be worth their weight in brine in a relationship. A union between them would have been twisted and wrong in its beginnings, and how could they ever come back from a relationship tainted with the murk of their current situations? Really, she should thank Aanon. He’d just saved them both from a boatload of heartache.
She stood and moved the curtain aside with the tip of her finger, ripped the cardboard down until it was a pathetic pile on the floor. The light in the uppermost room of the big house was the only one on. He might as well be a thousand miles away.
Dropping the fabric, she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. Okay, what had changed? Everything. No! Nothing had changed. Erin ran this place from her throne in Homer, and Farrah and Aanon could never be together. Same as yesterday. She’d just go back to keeping her head down. Who needed trouble when she had the fate of an unborn baby to decide? Her plate was utterly full, anyway, so tomorrow morning she would wake and act as if he’d never hugged her and set her heart aflame with sweet admissions.
Miles hadn’t made her weak. He’d forced her to realize her strength. If that douche ball couldn’t break her, Aanon Falk and his psychotic baby momma wouldn’t achieve it either. She was The Dweeb. Nobody could maim The Dweeb. After chores were done in the morning, she’d beg a day shift from Briney or find something to do in town to give Aanon and his son plenty of space to spend time together without her.
****
Chopping wood with an ax might never be her thing, but Billy had showed her how to use the chainsaw, and she was kind of awesome at it. Plus, nothing vented frustration better than slicing wood into splinters.
Donning sunglasses to protect her eyes, she ripped the tiny chainsaw motor and cut dry branches from an old log until it was smooth and ready to section. No way in molasses would she ever ask Aanon to supply the wood for her stove. He’d gotten her started fine with stacks of it on the front porch, but she needed enough for five to six months to be safe.
Calculating again how much she would need, she cut the log into manageable pieces. Kicking each piece upright, she cut them into quarters and turned off the saw. When the newly cut log was stacked neatly against the side of the house, she loaded the chainsaw to a four-wheeler and took off to find more wood.
A black SUV pulled in just as she was about to round the cattle enclosure, so she pumped the brake and clenched her jaw until it hurt. Erin was supposed to be gone the entire weekend, so why was she sitting in the passenger seat with that stupid smirk on her face, pageant show-waving like she’d just won Ms. Teen Cooper Landing?
“Hi,” Farrah called, waving back with an empty grin. “Cow,” she grumbled as she pulled the four-wheeler toward the barn to escape the crap storm that was about to hit the homestead. Her new mantra was the one Aanon had gifted her last night. It was none of her concern.
Luna bounded alongside her ATV, barking and yipping at the tires, and a smile tugged Farrah’s lips. Just a pregnant lady, her chainsaw, and her pet wolf. If her friends back in New York could see her now, they’d choke on their cosmopolitans.
Careful not to jostle her stomach, she stood while she drove to better pad the swell of her belly. She stopped when she came to a cluster of trees that had been ransacked by the beetle infestation a few years back. Two of them had already toppled, so she looped the chain around the trunk of the smallest and slowly eased it out of the brush with the four-wheeler. “Come on, Luna,” she called, but the pup was staring off in the distance.
Braking, she tried again. “Luna, come!” Squinting over the dog’s still body, she could just make out movement and gray fur. “Shit,” she muttered. In a rush, she yanked the oversized pup onto the ATV with her and roared down the tracks she’d made getting there. Panting against the adrenaline, and imagining the predator chasing her, she struggled to keep the wiggling dog steady while trying not to lose the log tied to the metal bars of her ride. She and Luna would make an easy meal if the wolf so wished it.
Spinning out around the cattle pen, Luna leaped off and ran for Aanon, who stood with his arms crossed, talking to Erin on the big house’s front porch. He bent at the waist and petted Luna’s head but never took his eyes from Erin.
Okay, now what? She couldn’t exactly let the wolf roam so close to the cattle. She wasn’t a professional on predator behavior, but it was odd that it was out in the middle of the day. The situation reeked of desperation, and the wolf was dangerously close to the spring calves. They had no shot against the animal. But Erin was glaring death missiles her way, and she couldn’t exactly raise the alarm that there was a predator without putting Dodge right in the middle of another fight over the homestead.
“Hey, Aanon?” she called.
He turned and opened his mouth to say something but Erin called “No!” and held her perfectly manicured nail into the air like she was a child. Right.
“What do you need?” Aanon asked with a sideways glare at Erin.
“Uh, can I talk to you in private?”
“You have some nerve,” Erin said.
“I just need the key to the root cellar.”
Aanon’s brows drew down, heavy over the bright hues of his eyes. “No. If you need something, you okay it with me first.”
“All righty then.” Pursing her lips, she turned and strode to the barn. She didn’t know the combination to the gun safe, but she’d seen a .22 caliber rifle on a shelf in there. Although it was on the small side for defense against a wolf, this was as good as she was going to get.
It had been years since she’d loaded a gun, and she fumbled with the lever to check if it had any bullets in the chamber. Empty.
“Where would ammo be?” she muttered, rifling through boxes on the shelf near where she’d found the weapon. Ah-ha. She checked the label twice and pulled three bullets from the box.
“Hey, what happened?” Aanon said, jogging toward her. “You already have the key to the root cellar, so what gives?
“Wolf.”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure, and it’s less than a quarter mile from the edge of the fence line.”
“Well, why didn’t you just say that out there?”
She slid the first bullet in and held it down with her fingers to make room for the next. The satisfying click of metal on metal echoed through the lofty barn. “Because Erin was
already squawking about Luna being a wolf and dangerous to Dodge the other day, and I didn’t want to give her any more ammo against this place.”
Intense blue eyes froze her in place.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said, ticking his head to the side. “It’s just that’s the nicest thing a girl has ever done for me.”
Arching her eyebrow, she shook her head. “That’s really sad, Falk.”
“No, I mean, you were going to go hunt a wolf on your own because you didn’t want more trouble for me.”
“Whoa, there. Nobody said anything about me hunting a wolf so slow your sainthood application right on down. I was thinking more along the lines of setting up near the fence line and popping a few rounds in his direction to try and scare him off. Maybe stake out the place for a couple of hours so he doesn’t slip under the wire and take a cow.”
“Still, the nicest thing a girl has done for me.”
“Still sad,” she muttered. She slid the last bullet in the chamber and clicked the safety on.
“I’ll take care of it,” he said, shouldering the rifle. “Can you do me a favor?”
She stifled the groan that threatened to bubble from her throat. “What?”
“Keep her busy. Please.”
“By doing what, Aanon? Letting her fillet me until you come back? No thanks. I don’t go back for seconds if the food’s burnt.”
Anywhere else in the entire world would be better than willingly talking to Erin again. She would rather bathe under an outhouse. Naked. With her mouth open. The woman made her want to claw her own eyes out, and yet here was Aanon, with his pleading eyes and perfect pout, begging her to throw herself at the mercy of his half-rabid ex.
“I wouldn’t ask if there was another choice. I don’t feel comfortable you going out there. Not pregnant. I’ll knock fifty bucks off of next month’s rent.”
“Fine,” she said, clenching her nails into the palm of her hands until they stung. “And I’ll even do it for free. You won’t be able to cover child support if you keep knocking money off my rent payments. I saw the wolf where my ATV tracks stop. It’s muddy enough you should be able to see the freshest one without having to look too hard. He was running south across the clearing.”
She turned to leave, but he grabbed her elbow. “Erin says this place is a hellhole.”
Her ears burned with anger at the woman’s idiocy, but it wasn’t a question so she waited for more. When he offered none, she said, “If she can’t see the beauty in this place, she’s an even bigger moron than I thought. Don’t let her careless words taint the way you see it. It’s paradise here.”
He released her arm, and she trotted out of the barn before he could say more. The anguish in his eyes said more than words ever could.
Plastering on her least convincing smile, she held up her keys as she approached the porch. “You mind if I get something from the root cellar?”
Erin studied her through a catty glare, and Farrah sighed internally.
“Where’s Aanon?” Erin demanded.
“I don’t know,” Farrah answered. “He’s your man and not my responsibility, so you should probably be the one to keep up with him.”
She turned toward the barn, and Farrah threw open the front door, doing her damndest to take Erin’s attention away from the stables where Aanon was currently hoisting himself onto the biggest horse. “Do you know where it is?” Farrah asked. “If not, I can just go search the house until I find it.”
“I think it’s highly inappropriate for you to be in here,” Erin said, following her in.
Dodge chimed in, “I know how to get there!”
“You do? Do you also know where the carrots and potatoes are? I’m making a stew and I’ve never been down there before.”
“I do,” he said with a grin. “I’ll show you.”
Erin offered a crimson smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Dodge, go play in mommy and daddy’s bedroom.”
The thought of Aanon and Erin sleeping in the same bed made her nauseous. “So, how long are you staying?” she asked as Erin led her toward the root cellar door. Not that she cared, but she’d always sucked at small talk when not behind a bar.
“As long as I want to,” came the silky reply.
“Great. This is it? Do you know where the potatoes and carrots are?”
“No, you little imbecile, I haven’t ever been down in that rat hole. Find what you need your damned self.”
“Excellent. Lovely chat,” she muttered, climbing a creaking ladder down.
Aanon was long gone, so she could go search the entire premises for him now. Unless Erin had sprouted tracking skills, she wouldn’t figure out where he’d gone. “Oh, what happened to your boyfriend? Daniel, was it?” she asked, peeking her head back above the top rung.
“I’m not seeing him anymore. My efforts would be better served here, don’t you think? Aanon will take me and Dodge back home when I’m good and ready. Maybe sometime next week.”
Fighting the urge to bang her head against the ladder she quipped, “Sounds like a fantastic plan.” Worst slumber party ever was more like it. “No need to wait on me, I’ll let myself out when I’m done.”
More glaring. “I don’t trust you alone in my house. I’ll wait here.”
“Great. I’ll be right back.” And by that, she meant an hour. Billy’s mom had left a book on canning down in the cellar where she could easily find it next season, and she would read the thing cover to cover before reemerging.
Chapter Twelve
Erin’s threat had been hollow. By three in the afternoon, she’d escaped the homestead with Aanon at the wheel and Dodge clutching his rock in the back seat of the Chevy. Fresh air, bugs, and the smell of cattle weren’t for everyone.
Determined not to be anywhere in the area when Aanon returned home, she cut the log she’d hauled in and set out for town to beg a shift at Briney’s.
“Weather will be here soon,” Briney muttered ominously as she washed her hands in the sink near his office.
A flutter of worry hummed against her innards. Not for herself, but for Aanon’s long trip home. Hopefully he’d make it back before Briney’s weather prediction came to fruition. Stupid. Aanon didn’t need her worrying about him. That was Erin’s job.
Dinnertime would be a solemn affair around Briney’s if he hadn’t the ingenious foresight to offer bar food and sandwiches. Instead of being a ghost bar, customers trickled in if the diner down the street was full, or if they had a hankering for mixed drinks to wash their meals down with.
An hour into her shift, Ben waved as he came through the door and took a seat at the two-top table in the corner.
“Go on and take his order. I’ll tend the bar. The man’s been pestering me about when your next shift is for a couple of days now.”
“What does he want?” she asked, wiping her hands on a folded apron tied to her lap.
Briney’s mustache twitched. “Do I look like a gol-derned psychic to you?”
With a heavy sigh, she lifted the counter hatch and smiled at Ben. “What’ll you have?”
“I didn’t really come here to eat.” He lowered his voice. “I need to talk to you. When do you get off? We could catch a late meal at the diner.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because,” she whispered, pointing to her belly. “I’m not in the best position to be dating anyone right now.”
“Oh. Well I wasn’t asking you out on a date. But if I was, dating someone is probably exactly what you need to be doing right now. Someone other than Aanon.”
With a frown at Briney, who was busy making drinks for a couple who’d just sat at the counter, she sank into the chair across from Ben and leaned forward. “What in the actual hell are you talking about?”
“You’ve made an enemy, Farrah, and one you don’t want. And trust me when I say, you don’t want any part of a feud with this one. Erin called me.”
“About what?”
“She asked me where your mom lived.”
Her mouth went so dry she had to swallow twice before she could answer. “Did you tell her?”
“Hell yes, I told her! She’s scary as a graveyard. Have you met the woman?”
“Dammit,” she whispered, leaning back into the chair to stare out the window.
“I came up here a couple of times to see if you were working so I could give you a heads up, but you weren’t in. I called Aanon this morning to try and get you a message, and he told me the damage was already done. Erin got what she wanted.”
“And what did she want?”
“Look, maybe you should talk to Aanon about all of this. It isn’t really any of my business, and I’m thinking maybe things are more complicated between you guys than I originally thought.”
“You made it your business when you shared information with that lunatic, Ben,” she growled. “Just tell me what she did.”
With a pained expression, he said, “She called the father of your child.”
She swallowed once. Twice. The betrayal was too much. Ben for giving information about her, Mom for outing Miles, Erin for attempting to ruin her life, and Aanon—Aanon should have been the one to warn her. “She called Miles?” Dread, as deep and dark as a well, pulled on her limbs until it was hard to move.
“That’s what Aanon told me, and he wouldn’t have any reason to lie. He sounded sick over it.”
Her lip trembled, and she pursed it to hide her hurt. “He should.”
The rest of the shift was a blur. She couldn’t name a single drink she’d made by the time she revved the four-wheeler and headed home. Unable to find it in her to blame Mom, she shifted gears and blared down the road that would lead to the homestead. If Ben couldn’t find the strength to fight Erin off her bone, Mom, who’d been too weak to ever lift a finger to protect her, hadn’t stood a chance.
Miles would come for her, but not because he loved her or wanted her back. He’d come for the baby. The thought of him raising her child with his wife brought bile to her throat, and she slowed. Flashes of family pictures without her ran through her mind on a loop, and she pressed her hand against the fluttering in her stomach. What kind of example could Miles set for a child? He couldn’t even be loyal to his own marriage.