by Meg Lelvis
He told her the condensed version of what happened to his family, but more than he’d revealed to anyone except his shrink. Wasn’t as arduous as spilling it to Clemons, but definitely uncomfortable.
Terri’s eyes brimmed as Jack talked about Elizabeth. She touched his arm, and Jack reflexively jerked it away. He didn’t want human contact. Not now.
She listened without interruption. When he paused, she said, “Thank you for telling me, Jack. I had no idea. There’s nothing to say about something like that other than being sorry, and that doesn’t help.”
He shrugged. “It’s okay, Terri. I think it’ll be okay.” They sat in silence until Terri stood.
“Another beer?”
“Yeah.”
She returned from the kitchen with beer and another glass of wine. He thought she’d been hitting it pretty hard and wondered if she had restrictions on mixing booze with her meds.
Terri’s white cotton top was wrinkled from her nap, but she looked as alluring as ever in her black and white print shorts and blingy black sandals. She talked about her childhood in Dallas, college years, marriage to Doug Warner, all-American jock, then their kids. Bryan first, an active boy, into everything, wore Terri out. Then three years later, Brooke was born.
Terri took a drink and smiled, a far-away affect on her face. “Oh, Brooke was a princess. The most beautiful baby the nurses ever saw. Well, not really, but everyone ooed and ahhed over her.” She paused. “I’d gaze at her in her crib and feel my world had shrunk to just me and her. No one else mattered.”
Jack was curious about that, but said nothing. He looked at her, listened as she went on.
“When she turned one, her hair was golden, big blue eyes, not green like mine. She was my everything.” Terri tucked her legs under her and faced Jack. “You see, as a kid I was overweight, plain. I know, I know,” she said when Jack started to protest. “I lost weight later, but I never felt I fit in until college. Childhood hurts nag at you, Jack.” She stared at him. “They never leave.” She drank more wine.
“Terri, I don’t think—”
“No, I wanna tell you. You don’t understand what Brooke meant to me. Don’t you see, she was everything I never was, never will be.” Terri’s eyes floated from the wall to the ceiling. “All my hopes and dreams were wrapped around her. They were her. Don’t you see, like a watercolor painting, we meshed, becoming one and the same.” Her mouth formed a half smile.
Jack sat up, staring at her. Jesus, what the hell’s with this woman? Probably is frickin’ nuts. Or drunk.
“Look, Terri, you’ve had—”
Terri looked startled. She straightened and giggled. “Oh, guess I’ve had too much wine.” She paused. “By the way, anything new on the investigation, that Todd Kaplan who got murdered?”
“No, not solved yet.”
“How about suspects? A motive?”
Jack recalled she’d asked him the same questions last week. “I can’t say, Terri.”
She looked sharply at him. “Do you still suspect Doug?”
“Can’t say.”
“Come on, Jack. You must have zero evidence, no forensics, all that crap you see on TV?”
The conversation was taking a wrong turn. He looked at Terri and shrugged.
“You must’ve ruled out drugs, a deal gone wrong.” She drained her glass. “We both know he was a bastard, you know what he did to Brooke. Ms. Williams must’ve told you.”
Jack stood. “Terri, you know I can’t talk about it. I’m gonna get some snacks.”
“Will you bring the wine bottle?”
“I hate to say this, but maybe you’ve had enough?”
He saw her face harden. “What, are you my mother now? I’d like one more glass. Anyway, don’t you think someone wanted to get back at that Kaplan prick? That why you suspected Doug?”
Jack gave up. He started toward the kitchen.
“Come on, Jack, couldn’t you guess why he was murdered?” Her voice louder. “You all should know. What about the stab marks on his nut?”
He felt a punch in his gut. He halted. Stood still. The stab wounds hadn’t been made public.
The air seemed to shift, like nothing would be the same.
He slowly turned around. Faced her. “What did you say?”
Her laugh was jerky, strange. “Nothing. Nothing. It was nothing.” She looked away. “I’d like my wine, please kind sir.” Laughed again.
Jack thought for a moment. How should he play this? Getting tough with a head case might be counterproductive. Better play along. Keep calm.
“Okay, wine and beer coming up.” It was almost sunset. Dinner time, but he was far from hungry.
He returned to the sofa. Terri was staring into nothingness. Jack placed the wine bottle on the coffee table. Only a little left. She held up her glass and Jack poured. He gulped his beer from the bottle.
He turned to her. “I know how you feel about Brooke. My little girl was daddy’s princess.”
Terri took a sip. She looked dreamy again. “Yes, Brooke was all set to go to college, major in some kind of biology, she was so smart. Then after, after that happened, everything fell apart. Both Brooke and I, we could hardly go on. She kept losing pieces of herself. Then I did too. Pretty soon there would be nothing left of us, don’t you see? She wasted into a corpse.”
He nodded. “I understand.” He was already planning to round up Doug Warner for the arrest.
He must’ve confessed to Terri how he did it. Surely it couldn’t be Bryan.
Terri gazed straight ahead. The same monotone. “I think you do understand. You lost your little girl, I lost mine. Brooke was ruined, our family ruined, marriage ruined, just like yours. Everything gone. He killed her. Killed us. He had to pay. Don’t you see? I had to.”
Jack’s heart lurched into his throat. What the fuck? Terri? He cleared his throat. He spoke slowly. “Yes, I understand.”
She turned to him. Half smile on her lips. “I knew you’d understand. You of all people. You knew I had to do it. You understand. He took my Brooke. How could he live? Don’t you see? He had to pay.”
He stared at her, stunned, speechless. “But how? The gun—”
She gazed away from him, straight ahead at the black TV screen. “You never asked if I owned a gun. No one knew, not even Doug. Really quite simple. Found a range far enough away, Moses Lake, safe from running into people I know. I practiced hard, Jack, though I didn’t need to. Yes, up close and personal.” Her laugh was bitter.
Jack shifted toward her. “But how, when did you plan it? No evidence.”
She continued softly. “Remember, Jack, I’m a nurse. I know what to do, what to cover. Even what message to leave, used one of his own little kitchen knives, easy to take away. You’ll never find it or the gun.” She shook her head. “Not ever.”
He reached over to her, touched her arm. “You need help, Terri. Let me take you somewhere. A hospital in Galveston. Nobody knows you. Everything confidential.”
She put her hand over his. “No, Jack, no hospital. I have a doctor. I’m not crazy—well, maybe a little.” That bitter laugh again. She moved closer to him. “Are you going to turn me in?”
He held her hands. He should arrest her now, but something stopped him. Needed time. Gotta think straight.
How could she be so calm? He continued staring at her, wondering who the hell she was. “I want you to get help. Don’t think about anything else right now.”
She put her hands around his shoulders. “Hold me, just hold me.” She buried her face in his neck, her hair tickling his cheek.
He star
ed over her head at the darkness through the windows. His arms felt stiff, unwilling to hug her back. What the hell was he going to do?
Chapter 35
Two weeks later, newspaper and glass of Merlot in hand, Jack sat and relaxed, reflecting on the events of the past month. He was still decompressing or whatever the term was. Needed to chill, adjust, revive, you name it.
By mutual agreement, he and Terri made no contact after their return to Richmond that last weekend, the relationship over. Jack pieced together the details after Terri choked out the story in fragments throughout that Sunday night at the beach house. The sun crept over the ocean in pinkish tones at dawn, and they parted, Jack driving along the gulf shore for the last time.
He asked himself repeatedly how he missed the signs, red flags. Why didn’t he see it coming?
Must’ve been blinded from the beginning by Terri’s auburn hair, a dream of recapturing the life he lost.
He willed himself not to acknowledge he’d slept with a murderer. God, how could he?
He learned Terri went to Kaplan’s house after work, parked a block away, wore black clothes, a hoodie. The drunken cat lady was right. She did see a figure, but not a kid, a slim woman.
Entering the house was easy; Terri pulled off her hood, knocked. When Todd answered, she used the age-old ruse of car trouble, a dead cell phone, could she call for help? Who’d be intimidated by an attractive white woman?
He let her in and re-locked the door. Terri walked ahead of Todd and turned to face him. When I pulled out the gun I thought he’d shit his pants, she’d laughed madly, then stopped, abruptly morphing into a sleepwalking wraith. She had claimed she didn’t recall pulling the trigger, everything a blur until she awakened the next morning. Jack guessed she remembered every detail.
. . . . .
For three days he had agonized over the decision he must make. The answer finally came.
He chose to turn a blind eye. Why? Simple answer: Brooke. Healing, but fragile, what would she do without her mother? He imagined his own Elizabeth as a young girl, whose life, in his mind, would supercede the letter of the law in a heartbeat. He couldn’t deprive Brooke of her mother.
Strangely, Jack harbored no feelings toward Terri except he hoped she’d seek therapy and help her daughter fully recover.
Jack’s choice to relocate was a no-brainer. With Terri out of his life, no reason to remain in Richmond. A small police department worked well at first, but he missed the energy and vibe of Chicago. Therapy gave him hope for achieving a fraction of the happiness stolen from him ten years ago. Chance at a ‘new normal’, a sappy phrase, but might be true.
The recruiter from Bridgeport PD had emailed Jack last Friday, telling him he’d made the first cut, and an interview was forthcoming. Tommy must’ve put in a good word. He owed his brother, not for the first time.
Jack’s initial struggles with guilt abated as time passed. He wished he could pat himself on the back for a job well done by lawfully closing the Kaplan case, but it wasn’t in the cards. In his mind, his choice was valid and compassionate.
He admitted Richmond had been good to him. He valued his friendships the past six years, all three of them. Moose, Hector, and Denise were good folks. Would miss them. Even Baumgartner; he broke his Chicago news to her gently. Promised he’d find a church, go to Mass. Right.
Jack’s thoughts returned to the present. He drained his wine and opened the newspaper. Before he could find an article of interest, he heard a ding followed by a woman’s cheery voice. “Welcome to Chicago, ladies and gentlemen. We will be landing shortly. Please stay seated—”
Jack didn’t listen to the rest. He felt his heart fluttering. The gray-haired lady next to him smiled.
“Is Chicago your home?”
He smiled back. “Yes, it is.”
The End
BOOK CLUB
READER’S GUIDE QUESTIONS
1. Richmond, TX, is the setting of the story. Are you aware of the surroundings and characteristics of the environment? Does the setting come to life? What are some examples of local color or cultural aspects of Richmond, Houston, and Galveston?
2. We know from the book’s summary that Jack Bailey has PTSD. How is this relevant to his character as well as to readers? Does this set Jack apart from the conventional hard-boiled detective? How?
3. How do you feel about Jack as a person? What are his strengths? Weaknesses? Is he a flawed protagonist? How?
4. Which secondary characters do you like or dislike? Approve or disapprove? Did Erna Baumgartner serve a purpose in the story? Denise Williams? Which characters if any, would you like to meet or run into at Clancy’s or elsewhere?
5. The structure of the novel is chronological order with occasional flashbacks. How is Jack’s past history presented to the reader? Are these methods effective? Were you curious about what caused Jack’s PTSD?
6. Several themes and social issues are prevalent in the novel, for example, campus assault/victimization of women. Why is this a current topic in the national conversation? Do you think men like Todd Kaplan are products of dysfunctional families? Could Todd have changed?
7. Which characters or events exemplify themes of loss, mental health issues, morality? Why is anorexia present in the story? How are themes of love and compassion displayed?
8. Does the story move at a satisfying pace? Is the reveal of the killer surprising? Predictable? Do you understand or relate to the motive for the crime?
9. What is your opinion of the dialogue? Is it real? Does it reveal the attitudes and backgrounds of the characters?
10. Do you agree with Jack’s ultimate choice regarding Terri? Is his reason valid? What consequences might he face resulting from his decision? How does this tie into the beginning page of the story?
11. Extend the ending. What will Jack’s life be like in five years? Ten years?
12. If you were casting a movie from the book, who would you choose? Include Denise Williams and Erna Baumgartner.
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