Pat remembered the young man and found him on the couch, reading a magazine with his mug of what must be tea since she hadn't smelled coffee when she'd almost bumped into him.
He looked up and smiled. "Hey, Babs, you're already dressed to go? I don't know where Kyle is, but the car isn't there." He motioned to the window behind him that opened next to the front door.
"And when will he be back?" she asked, trying to keep calm. If there was a car in the household, she didn't need to call a taxi. She could use the GPS on her phone...
Fuck! Where's my phone? She went back to the bedroom – the young man's answer was a "Dunno" and a shrug, so not very helpful anyway – but found only a Nokia C1. On the desk she saw a flyer for Unicorn Books with a Portland address. And then there was a snail mail letter addressed to "Barbara" with another Portland address. Since the young man had called her "Babs" twice, she assumed that was the home address.
She called a taxi. When she went back to the living room, the young man was doing some push-ups.
"I need to go," she told him.
She had found a purse with a wallet that would allow her to pay the taxi up to the hotel and she decided to wait outside. How she'd open the room door without a key worried her a little, but she'd find a way.
Yummy roomie, she thought as she waited on the sidewalk. But who's Kyle?
***
Babs waved with both arms when she saw Kyle's reach the airport terminal. Her relief vanished when she noticed Kyle's puzzled expression.
She went to the driver's side and waited until he rolled down the window before offering her best smile.
"Hi. Surprise. It's me, Babs."
"Excuse me?"
"I told you you'd never believe what happened! I woke up in this body, so can we please go home and check who is in mine?"
His obvious disbelief made her snort in frustration. She told him his name, Rohit's, how they'd met, where they lived and saw his face go from wary to incredulous and back more than once.
"My full name is Bar-bah-ra," she spelled out with her Italian, feeling on the verge of tears. What else did he want as proof of her identity?
He gaped at her, speechless. He couldn't connect the face with the words, obviously.
"Ma porcaccia la miseriaccia zozza!" She exploded, rolling her eyes and relapsing into her mother tongue. Some things really got lost in translation. Swearwords were much more fun in Italian.
And they worked to snap him out of his stupor.
"Okay okay okay, get in the car," Kyle said quickly. "That's definitely you talking, but you look so different..."
Relieved, she rushed to the passenger's door and jumped in.
"Thanks, Kyle. Let's go home and see if we can sort this out."
Frowning, he started the car and drove home. It was a short ride, and neither spoke. Babs imagined he was as baffled as her. She checked the purse and saw a driver's license by the name of Patricia Langdon – that must be her body's name.
As they arrived home, they saw her body about to get into a taxi.
"Hey, stop her!" she screamed, opening her door before the car stopped to rush out. "Hey you! Pat! Stop!"
Her own face stared back at her, surprised, then frowned.
"I have a meeting, I'm going to be late."
"You'll have to cancel the goddamn meeting, you're not going anywhere with my body!" Babs replied angrily.
"Do you have my cell phone?" the other snapped, glaring at her.
She fished in the purse. "You mean this?" It started ringing and she almost dropped it, but the other woman snatched it and took the call.
Babs noticed Rohit had come out of the house and was staring at them, puzzled, with Kyle next to him, probably trying to explain what was going on. She concentrated on her body who ended the call and stared at her, determined.
"I have postponed the meeting by one hour," she said bluntly. "That's all the time I can spare. I'll need to go back to the hotel to get my files, and do you think we can switch clothes?"
"No, I don't think we are the same size," Babs replied, considering that her new body was very slim. "You can let the taxi go, Kyle can drive you there if you really can't miss the meeting."
Pat glanced at Kyle and leaned to dismiss the cab.
"I can't miss this meeting, it's very important," she announced then. "Luckily they have never seen me, so I can go as you."
"Ah, so you were going to pay the taxi with my money," Babs retorted. "Give me back my purse, I didn't touch yours!"
"Why don't you both come inside?" Kyle called.
Glaring at each other, the two women obeyed.
***
"So, how did this happen?" Pat demanded after the introductions. "I mean, you don't simply wake up in somebody else's body!"
"Don't tell me!" her body spat back venomously. She hadn't bothered putting on any makeup and plainly looked her age.
"Listen, I'm a business woman. I've got to make this meeting. Either you lend me your car or you take me back to the hotel to get my folder," she said, determined, staring at all three standing in front of her.
The young man, Rohit, had had the decency to put a sweater over his muscled torso, so he was slightly less distracting, but still quite stunning. She couldn't figure out what the dynamics of the household could be with two men and one woman – unless the two men were gay.
Kyle sighed. "I'll be your driver today." He turned to Rohit. "You'll have to handle the office."
"We'll go together," Babs assured him, grabbing Rohit's arm. "You know it takes two of us to make you."
Kyle scoffed. "Why on earth did I start a business with you guys? What was I thinking?"
"I don't know what you were thinking when you helped me and I know you're definitely not thinking when Rohit is involved – not with your head."
"Very funny," Kyle retorted as Rohit grinned. "You two behave, I'll see you when I'm done with her." He turned to Pat. "Let's go."
She followed him to his car, glad to have retrieved her purse and the room key, but still intrigued by the trio.
"So what's the deal?" she asked as he drove back to the hotel. She still couldn't believe Rohit had an Indian passport. He didn't match her idea of Indians. "I mean, why did you start a business with two foreigners? How did you get the visa and all that sorted out?"
"Babs had been wanting out of her third-world country – her words – since I've known her. When I started writing fiction, I discovered she knew a lot more than me about indie publishing, so we decided to join our heads and start a business together."
"I see. So now you run what?"
"A publishing house. But we're not open to submissions. It's a vehicle for Babs's writing, mostly, but also mine and Rohit's. She's the most prolific, but we are producing our own stories too, sometimes writing together, sometimes on our own."
"So it's a more creative relationship with Rohit?" she asked as he reached the hotel entrance.
"No, it's a great love story." He grinned at her surprise. "You might want to check out of the hotel, you can sleep on our couch until we figure out how to switch you two back."
Still startled by his admission, she grumbled, "Sure." She went to her room, packed and checked out – luckily there was someone new at the reception desk.
She put her luggage in Kyle's trunk and got back in, giving him the address of her meeting. Since she had a free ride, why waste money on a cab?
3.
Samantha observed both women. By simply wishing for it, she had a split screen showing both – Patricia conducting her business in Babs's body, feeling self-conscious but not showing it, and Babs writing longhand on a notebook at the office.
Then, when Kyle came back from driving Pat to her meeting and took Rohit home, Samantha decided to follow the men. Babs waved them off with a shrug, too lost in her creative frenzy.
"What do you think happened?" Rohit asked as they entered the house with Pat's luggage. "I mean, who is that woman anyway?"
"Some career woman from
New York." Kyle shrugged. "She's in town for a couple of days. Business meetings a go-go. Those East Coast people always cram things together when they get over here. They try to bring their frenetic lifestyles with them. I doubt she'll settle for the couch, even if she checked out of the hotel."
"So Babs will go on the couch," Rohit said.
"What if Pat wants our bed?" Kyle retorted.
"Kya? Why would she want that?"
"Because it's bigger. And she might want you in it."
"Why me and not you?"
"Don't ask stupid questions, you are younger and more good-looking than me!"
Rohit winced. "Don't remind me."
"You had fans."
"Kyle!"
"You were a star."
"Kyle, shut up!"
"Why? It's not my fault if women ruined your life."
"Whatever," Rohit grumbled, glaring at him. "How do we get back our Babs? I don't like the other body."
"Honestly? I have no idea."
Samantha chuckled.
"Don't worry your pretty heads, guys, I'll take care of it when the time is right!"
***
Pat snorted, sitting in the cab. The work was done, but she'd felt uncomfortable with the wrong clothes. She told the driver Babs's address and sat back, pondering what she could do. The body switch felt wrong. She couldn't tolerate feeling so vulnerable and literally out of her skin.
Between meetings, she had searched on her i-Pad for something she could do about her situation.
They say you can find anything on the internet, she thought sourly. Bullshit. Couldn't find anything on what happened to me.
Couldn't be Portland witches playing with spells. She didn't believe in that pagan crap anyway. But she must find a way out of the awkward situation. She couldn't go back to New York in someone else's body.
What could she tell Deb and her other friends? Plastic surgery wouldn't change her features that much – besides she despised it. She wasn't so obsessed about her looks and staying young, like Gabrielle, but she didn't like Babs's body either.
She was sort of lucky she didn't have a spouse, but she couldn't hide in her house forever. She had friends to see and people to meet who knew what she looked like, and she had no intention of switching places with Babs, in spite of her gorgeous roomie. She was an exec, not a writer. She needed to organize meetings, talk to employees and keep busy with other tasks. She couldn't show up with a new face just because this absurd thing had happened to her.
But suddenly her money and her power felt useless against what happened. She had no idea how it could even happen, imagine undoing it...
***
In the afternoon, Kyle and Rohit went to the office, so Babs came home, sitting at her laptop to do some actual work. And then Pat interrupted her by ringing the bell.
"We need to switch back." Pat stormed in with a frown. "I can't go back like this!"
"You shouldn't complain, I'm the one who got the worse body," Babs chided. "I mean... hey, do you already have menopause?"
Pat glared at her. "Yeah, so what?"
"Cool," Babs beamed. "Although I'm getting there too," she added, thoughtful.
Pat scoffed. "You're too young!"
"Says who? I'm forty-nine, it's perfect timing!"
Pat looked shocked. "You can't be that old!"
"Yes I am. I drank from the Fountain of Youth," Babs teased.
"You have such perfect skin..."
"No sun and no makeup. And being married to Mr. Writing has its perks."
"Who?"
Babs rolled her eyes. "My writing. My books are my babies. And my lovers."
"What about your housemates?"
"What about them?"
"Where do they sleep?"
"Upstairs. There's one more bedroom and another bathroom. When relatives visit, the couch folds out into a bed. That's where you're sleeping tonight, by the way, unless you want my single bed."
"God no." Pat shivered in disgust. "I've stopped sleeping in single beds after college."
"Good for you."
Babs showed her how the couch opened into a double bed and Pat muttered that it would do.
"The girls' bathroom is next to my room," Babs concluded.
"I know, I've seen it," Pat snapped. "So Kyle and Rohit are lovers and you sleep alone?"
"Why not?" Babs shrugged. "Better alone than with the wrong person. Do you have a husband?"
"No, I'm focusing on my career. I'm VP of marketing, but I hope to become CEO within the year."
"No steady relationship?"
"Who has time?"
"Or the will. I most certainly don't. I'm an introvert, and I have been single all my life. It became a choice at some point – either I met just jerks, or I wasn't made for a relationship. Although I admit that when Rohit split with his wife, I started daydreaming of meeting him and mending his broken heart..."
"Rohit was married?"
"Of course he was. Married his sweetheart from before he became famous. But he's finished with her. He doesn't love her anymore, thanks to Kyle."
As usual, Babs answered questions but barely managed to ask anything, so by the time Rohit and Kyle came back, Pat knew everything about the three of them, but hadn't said much about herself.
"Let's go out to eat!" Babs suggested enthusiastically. She hated cooking and hadn't managed to prepare anything while talking with Pat. Besides, she doubted the uptight New Yorker would appreciate her simple dishes.
So they went out. The conversation around the table was about spells and body switches and how to put things right. They had checked online, but many covens didn't seem to deal with body switches. And there were no meetings of witches or public rituals during the coming week. Pat didn't feel very comfortable in joining the charlatans, but she had to go back home, eventually, and with her own body. Except what actually happened was anyone's guess.
"This isn't an urban fantasy book, it's real life!" Pat snapped, sick of listening to the wild theories of a fiction writer, a dreamy former actor and a former gossip journalist. "What are we going to do, sit on the floor with candles trying to weave a spell?"
"I have some runes in my collections, we could try saying them," Babs said.
"Or we could call one of those witches living in the area and see if she can help us," Kyle said.
"As far as I know, only who waved the spell can undo it," Babs replied. "And since we don't know who did it..."
"Maybe we should just sleep on it and pray it goes away as it came, during the night," Rohit suggested.
The others muttered and grumbled, then Kyle checked his watch.
"Right! It's bedtime for the dormice, so let's go."
"Dormice?" Pat asked, puzzled.
"Rodents that sleep a lot. Heard of them?" Babs said.
"They're found in Europe," Kyle replied. "Over here they're known only if you've read Alice in Wonderland."
"And everybody reads the classics," she teased.
"I've read Alice in Wonderland in my youth," Pat snapped. "Still wondering why you'd call your roomies dormice."
"Because they sleep eight hours per night," Kyle replied, hugging Rohit and pointing at Babs who stifled a yawn. "Lucky bummers."
"Indeed." Pat sighed with envy as they headed to the cashier. "Tomorrow I have another meeting at lunchtime and then I should head back to New York. Let's hope the issue is solved by then."
***
Pat heard Kyle tiptoeing to the kitchenette and decided to get up. She met him at the coffee machine and was glad to have freshly brewed coffee this time. They went to the living room and Kyle sat in the armchair while Pat sat on the bed, sipping her coffee, planning for the day.
She hadn't looked at herself in the mirror yet, and Kyle could be her latest lover as far as she was concerned – he was already history and she'd almost forgotten she wasn't in her own body anymore. When she switched on the career woman for the day planning, everything else went to the back-burner.
"Will you be all right?" Kyle asked. "I'm going to drive to a bookstore, to see if they have any books of spells or witchcraft, just in case."
"Can you order online? I need the car to get to the meeting..."
Kyle scoffed. "I never thought I'd hear that from your mouth. Sorry, from Babs. And you're not Babs, just her body."
"So? Can I use the car?" she asked coldly.
"I don't know if I can trust you. A friend of mine who worked in Manhattan never used a car, only cabs."
"I can drive, Kyle!" she snapped.
"Fine, the keys are over there." He shrugged, sipping his coffee and grabbing the paper.
"I'm not ready to leave my job, or I'd just keep this body," Pat muttered. "I can't really start from scratch at fifty-six with a new face."
"We did start Unicorn Books from scratch," Kyle said. "And I'm fifty and never been a business owner. I was a freelance, which is a different kind of business."
"Well, I don't see why I should throw away years of hard work when I'm almost where I wanted to be," she retorted. "Therefore I sure hope we'll find a solution to... this."
She stared with distaste at her new body, covered by the nightgown. Time to get in the shower and do something about it.
"Does Babs know what a beauty parlor is?" she asked, upturning her nose.
"Nope." Kyle stared at his magazine. "Just the hairdresser once a month."
"Gee, and no makeup either... no wonder she's an old spinster," Pat commented.
"She is single by choice," Kyle corrected.
"Oh, really! Maybe she couldn't find anyone and so she says it's a choice. She married Mr Writing! Please. And do you really think she's still a virgin at almost fifty? It's just impossible that she'd never had the chance..."
"Improbable, not impossible," Kyle replied. "And certainly none of my business. She's had suitors, she simply isn't interested."
"What about you? When did you come out of the closet?"
"I didn't come out of anywhere. My sexuality is something between me and my partner, and whoever is not invited in my bedroom shouldn't judge me or whoever I choose to sleep with."
Pat scoffed. What a house of losers. Pity for gorgeous Rohit, who was following in Babs and Kyle's footsteps into loserdom. Maybe she could save him, take him out of that crazy house.
Body Switches Page 19