by C. G Harris
I held out a hand, and Judas dropped a silver coin into my palm. I felt a jolt and the floor beneath me seemed to rumble. Mastema let out another chuckle.
“What is this?” I threw the coin to the ground. The rough-cut piece of silver hit with the weight of a bowling ball. My chair flipped over backward as I sprang to my feet and backed away. When I glanced at where I’d dropped the coin, it was gone. Something small and weighty existed in my palm again. I looked. The coin had somehow returned to my hand. I wound up to throw the thing across the room, but Judas held out a hand to stop me.
“Throw the coin as far as you like later, but that denarius belongs to you now. The coin marks you as my agent, and no one can remove it from your person, not even you.”
“What if I don’t want the job?” Panic bubbled into my legs, making my knees wobble again. I stumbled and tripped over the fallen chair. “I didn’t accept yet.”
“You accepted the moment you heard my story and touched the coin.” Judas shot me a tight-lipped smile. “That coin is one of thirty special silver denarii. It will give you power, among other things. I could never allow you to leave here with the knowledge I imparted to you. Not without some assurance you would keep my secret.”
Things were happening way too fast. I felt trapped—I was trapped. I had nowhere to go, and Judas Iscariot had just shackled me with a magic boomeranging denarius. What was next? Ear tags and an anal tracker?
“Try to relax,” Judas said. “Everyone reacts this way at first, but you must understand, you have been entrusted with what may be one of the most important and volatile secrets in the known universe. We cannot take that lightly. There is no way to tell you about the Agency, and then un-tell you if you decide you are not interested. All I can do is trust my judgement is sound and that I selected someone who will serve in this position. Have I made a wise choice, Gabe? Have I chosen the right man to do this job for me?”
I looked at the two imposing Hellions standing at the back of the huge office and tried not to hyperventilate.
“Tell me about this power the denarius is going to give me.” I shifted my gaze back to Judas.
He smiled and clapped his hands together. “Excellent.” He stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder to walk me back to my chair. I bent to pick up the bone framed monstrosity, but Judas insisted I wait while he righted it and scooted the chair back toward his desk. He even held it while I sat down. “You made the right decision.”
“Thanks, although I don’t think much choice was involved.”
“I am sorry, but rest assured you will find this calling a rewarding, if not challenging one.”
I nodded. “You were going to tell me about the power. So far that sounds like the best thing in this whole deal.”
Judas nodded. “I have seen the denarii do many things. Over time they can enhance strength, or intelligence, or aid your senses in some way. Mind you, there is no guarantee the coin will do those things for you. Only time will tell. The denarius will, however, grant you a single power, tailored to your need for each mission. You will find, whatever your power is, it will be the precise thing you require at the time of your greatest need.”
“So, the coin might grant me the power to fly, have super strength, or laser vision?”
Judas gave me a knowing smile. One I wasn’t sure I liked. “The power in the denarius is bestowed from—let’s just call it upper management. No one knows what the power will be until you have occasion to use it. I like to say it is best to keep the phrase, the lord works in mysterious ways, in mind.”
“Okaaaaay.” I drew out the word, trying to decipher what he meant by that last bit. “Is there any other good news?”
He paused, seeming to consider his words. “The denarii are a direct conduit to unfathomable power. Do not forget that. Most of the time they appear to be nothing more than a worthless marker, a vulnerability to your status, but do not betray your calling. You may be granted access to power, most likely you will not, but these denarii are special.”
“Why do I get the feeling you mean more Charles Manson kind of special than Santa Claus special?”
“Mr. Manson heads a team of false prophets. He has nothing to do with a two-thousand-year-old denarius.”
I dipped my head and nodded. Sarcasm is lost on Judas Iscariot—check.
“So, what’s to stop me from blabbing your secret all over the factory floor as soon as I walk out this door? I’m not saying I would, but ...”
“If you try to reveal this secret, your spirit will be absorbed into the coin, or rather an alternate domain where you will be entombed and tormented in darkness for all eternity.”
I blinked. “And how many spirits are entombed in these coins?”
“The ghost halls of the denarii are vast. Let’s just say two thousand years is a long time to collect the souls of betrayers.”
Chapter Seven
I crushed my head between my hands, half hoping someone had crept up behind me and smashed my skull with a 2x4. If this were all a bad dream, I could wake up with a headache and move on with my dull ordinary afterlife. No such luck.
“Take this thing back.” I held out the denarius in the palm of my hand, but Judas just stared at me, making no move to retrieve the coin.
“I didn’t ask for this. I don’t want your stupid suicide missions, and I sure don’t want to keep your secrets. Take your down payment back.” My voice grew louder and ended in a growl.
Judas still didn’t react. I closed my hand and lunged for him. But he sidestepped, and I flailed past in a graceless ark. Mastema moved.
Without taking off her blindfold, she snapped her leathery wings once and hit me like a freight train. I didn’t even remember landing on the cold red marble. In less than a second, I was laid flat on my back with a half-naked leather-winged demon perched on my chest. I might have been turned on, but her opposable toes and long black claws weren’t exactly a page out of a teenage boy’s sex fantasies. She tapped the outside of my t-shirt with razor sharp talons and threatened to introduce them to the tender flesh underneath.
Judas crouched by my side. “You need to calm yourself and listen to me.”
I squirmed and twitched, but Mastema planted her hands on my wrists, pinning them to the ground next to my head as she let out a warning hiss. The sight of her sharpened teeth and spiked leather-clad breasts, now in a perfect position to suffocate me or rake the skin on my face, was enough to petrify me into submission.
“Much better,” Judas said. “The sooner you accept your appointment as my agent, the less distressing it will be to you. This is a large responsibility, but not one beyond your abilities. Hold to your principals, and the denarius will never seek vengeance.”
I nodded and looked up at Mastema. She tilted her head and seemed to peer down at me, despite her discolored blindfold, looking like a bird of prey ready to pluck out my innards.
“Mastema,” Judas held out a hand. “If you would be so kind.”
Mastema jerked her head toward Judas, took his hand without having to search for it, and stepped off my chest. I sat up, sucked in a breath, and tried to remain calm. You could have heard a pin drop in the office. Everyone watched me struggle to my feet and take in another breath to try and relax.
“Fine.” I glared at Judas. “I’ll live with your ghost hall of creepy souls ... for now.”
Judas smiled, but his grin appeared more sympathetic than jovial. “This is a great deal to accept, and your position will become more challenging before it gets better, I’m afraid. But I assure you, this is an appointment someone such as yourself will come to appreciate. You earned an eternity here, but you may find some atonement within your soul. For some that is enough.”
I thought about my old life and why I had put my shop together in the first place. “Yeah, alright. But I still don’t like the thought of a ticking time bomb in my pocket.”
“The denarius may seem like a bomb, but only you can light its fuse. Keep your secret, and
the coin will work to your advantage. I maintain several denarius agents who have served for a millennium and continue to do so.”
I threw out my arms and let them fall back to my side in frustration. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“You will report to Sabnack. He runs a cell division in the third tower. He will assign you a partner, and you will go from there.”
“Wait. No training? No super double agent spy gadgets? You’re just going to send me out there on my own with nothing?”
“All Judas agents are trained in the field, and you possess the coin.”
“Great. I own a denarius that grants me a mystery superpower, but if anyone finds out, it will suck my soul like a four-hundred-horsepower shop vac. This is how I’m supposed to derail the Judas Agency? Oh, and you were about to tell me how I don’t get any training ...” I clasped my hands in mock excitement.
Judas ignored my little tirade and grinned. “Your partner will be charged with bringing you up to speed. You will be assigned easier missions at first, until you’re ready to dirty your hands. Make your usual reports to Sabnack. Your partner will train you how and when to do that, but your real responsibility is here. You will report to me once a week. More often if you believe additional communication is necessary.”
Judas handed me a sheet of paper with a series of numbers and a map. “That is the code and directions to a rear entrance to this office. None but my people are aware of it. Memorize everything and destroy the paper. The denarius would know the moment even that information fell into the wrong hands.”
I sighed and started to recite the numbers in my head. “Of course, it would.”
Judas rounded his desk and pulled out another form. What would the underworld be without red tape and bureaucracy? He filled out the document and signed the bottom with a flourish of an old fountain pen.
“Give this to Sabnack. This certifies you as an agent and will give you authority to work in his department.”
I took the sheet of paper, folded it twice, and shoved it into the back pocket of my jeans, still holding the code and directions in my other hand.
“Remember,” Judas said. “Your priority is to gather information without arousing suspicion. Act when and if you must, but above all report to me, and I will do my best guide your actions in the field.”
I nodded.
Procel broke out of his sentry position and ushered me toward the door.
“God speed,” Judas said. “And good luck to you.”
Procel got to the door before me but did not open it. After a second, Judas sighed without looking up. “The code.”
I looked down at the small paper in my hand, remembering that I was supposed to destroy it. “Right.” I glanced around, wondering what I should do, then shoved the wad into my mouth and chewed.
Procel squinted in disgust. “You could have torn it up.”
I shrugged and slurred, “To-ma-to, to-mah-to.”
Procel shook his giant horned head and opened the door to let me leave before I swallowed.
Chapter Eight
I made my way to tower three and headed for the 22nd floor as my paper instructed. The walk was uneventful, save a few wary stares from well-dressed agents and Hellions who could see I did not belong anywhere near the building.
The elevator door opened, and I stepped out, retrieving the paper out of my back pocket. It had the words, diamond section, room 2278, scrawled across the top. A brass plaque guided me to the left, down a wide hallway full of bustling Woebegone. They wore all manner of dress, from suits and skirts to leather nightclub freak-wear, and walked as if they might miss the last train out of whack-town on riot weekend. Almost none of them bothered to glance up at me. If they did, it was only to give me a dirty look for being in their way.
As I maneuvered through the mass of moving bodies, I heard someone having an argument at the end of the hall. A female’s voice reverberated off the slick white walls, and the high ceiling, designed to accommodate eight-foot plus Hellions, seemed to amplify the sound. Her voice was soon followed by another I could only describe as a loud growl. I followed more of the shiny brass arrows toward my reporting office, and the voices grew louder. It soon became evident that the two places were one and the same.
A huge lion-headed demon loomed behind a desk wearing what looked like military style armor. His eyes flicked toward me, and the woman standing before him turned to peer back through the glass window that separated us. She was covered from the shoulders down in patchwork, old-school tattoos. Her hair was long, thick and Tidy-Bowl blue. She wore a vest and jeans torn in strategic places to show more of her body art. She also wore an expression of disgust on her face.
“You have got to be kidding me. This is the guy?”
I took that as my invitation to walk in. “Hi, I’m—”
“He can’t even finish a coherent sentence,” she interrupted. “You want me to train this loser?”
“Excuse me.” I held out a hand. “My name is Gabe. I was told to report to this office.”
The woman glanced at my hand and then back to the lion-headed demon I assumed was Sabnack, since he happened to be the only Hellion in the room.
“I’m not doing it.” She crossed her arms and stared straight into Sabnack’s black eyes.
“Not a hand shaker, huh?” I let my arm fall to my side. “Got it. Nothing but high fives from here on out.”
Sabnack held out a furry paw-hand, and I put the assignment paperwork in his…pad. “This is Alexandrea Neveu.” He growled through his lion mug. “She’s your new partner and trainer. She’ll grow on you—if you live long enough.”
“My name is Alex. If you ever call me Alexandrea, I’ll kill you where you stand, find your sulfur pool, wait for you to drag your pathetic soul out, and then I’ll kill you again.”
“Okay. Hard to work with, check. Seems to be a lot of that going around today.”
“Look at this guy,” Alex said to Sabnack and continued as if I weren’t there. “I’ll have to teach him everything. He looks like an eighties reject. He probably smokes and wears nothing but concert t-shirts.”
“I’m sorry, could you shut up a second?”
Alex and Sabnack stared at me with equal bewilderment.
I pressed on before they had a chance to recover. “I’m not a child. I’ll be fine. I know how to blend, and I’m a quick learner. I’ll be doing the job better than her in no time.”
Alex took a step in my direction. “You wouldn’t last ten seconds Topside without my help. Where’d you steal those Puma high-tops, 1984? And those button-fly jeans were considered historic about fifteen years ago. You’re not a child. You’re an infant. You couldn’t take two steps without getting squashed.”
“So blue hair and tattoos are the best way to blend up top now? I doubt it.”
I waited a moment, then laughed. “Holy crap, that was lame. Let me try again.”
I cleared my throat and furrowed my brow, locking eyes with the woman before me again. “So which tattoo represents the loser boyfriend who got you killed? I assume you have one. All girls like you do.”
Standing up straight, I smiled, feeling self-satisfied. “Yeah, much better. Don’t you think?”
Alex made a fist and pointed to a tattoo across the front of her fingers. A unicorn with a rainbow coming out of its butt. “It’s this one right here. Let me show you.”
Sabnack spread his huge feathered wings and let loose a roar loud enough to make my lips tingle. Alex and I stumbled into the glass wall. The entire floor shook with the sound.
“Enough. You will work together. This is not a request. It is not a favor. It is an order. Now, get out of my office before I throw you both out of my window.”
Chapter Nine
Alex wound her way through the halls on the 22nd floor at the speed of a raging comet. She made her pace look like a walk while I half-jogged just to keep up. The thick sea of Woebegone parted like munchkins in the Wizard of OZ, revealing the white marb
le road for us to follow.
“Your job will be to shut up and do everything I say,” Alex shouted over the rumble of the crowd. “If you have any questions for me, refer back to that job description.”
Alex rounded another corridor, running head-long into a poor clerk with a hand full of files. Paper exploded into a fluttering cloud, and I skidded to a stop to avoid colliding with both women.
“I’m so sorry, Hannah.” Alex crouched to the floor and began gathering the aftermath with the other young woman.
“Geez, Alex. If you wanted to talk to me all you had to do was ask.” Both of them let out a little laugh, and I leaned down to make sure Alex hadn’t switched bodies while I wasn’t looking. Her face melted into a mask of indigent anger the moment she noticed me peering at her.
Alex handed Hannah her wad of papers. “I’m really sorry. I have to go. I have to take care of this ... thing.” Her eyes flicked to me for half a second, then she stood and was off again. Hannah watched her go and glanced at me.
We stared at each other in bewilderment.
“Weird first day.” I shrugged.
Hannah let out an uncomfortable laugh in response and headed off in the other direction without another word. My eyes stayed on Alex. Part of me wanted to plant my feet and refuse to move, but I suspected losing Alex would mean I’d never see her again.
It took a short sprint to catch up, but I matched her breakneck pace. “We need to get one thing straight. You can be pissed about this whole situation, but I’m assigned as your partner, not your employee, your peon, or your slave.”
Alex stopped so fast it took me a couple of steps to react. I ground to a halt and turned to face her. We were several feet apart, but she closed the gap between us with slow purposeful strides.
“You can believe that—if you want to come back as a hot pile of goo,” she said, “because that’s what will happen to you without my help.”