by JC Harroway
Not when he was actually starting to make progress.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BECKA RAN BACK to her apartment on her lunch break to grab more clothes. She stood in the middle of the living room and wrinkled her nose. Living surrounded by Aaron’s understated luxury made it hard to see this place as anything other than the shithole he’d labeled it. It was home, sure... Or at least it had been. It didn’t feel like much right now except for a letdown. She gave herself a shake and headed into her room to grab a bag to throw some dresses into. At some point soon she’d have to face the reality of maternity clothing, but she wasn’t ready to deal with it yet.
Great job, Becka. Just avoid anything and everything related to the baby until you absolutely have to face it. That sure won’t blow up in your face.
Impossible to ignore the little voice when it spoke hard-core reason at her. She’d asked Aaron for time before they got down to the nitty-gritty about baby stuff, and he’d mostly respected that in the few days since. Her reprieve wouldn’t last, and she could hardly blame him for that. They were about to be responsible for another person, and flying by the seat of her pants might have gotten her this far in life, but his regimented scheduling and research-based personality were probably better suited for parenting than hers was.
It seemed like everyone was better suited to be a parent than she was, and yet look how things had turned out.
As if summoned by her thoughts, her phone rang. Becka knew who it was even before her sister’s name scrolled across the screen. Lucy had been calling every couple of days for the last month, and Becka could tell her excuses for not picking up were starting to wear thin.
She had to tell Lucy the truth sooner or later. Before she could talk herself out of it, she answered. “Hey, Lucy.”
“Becka! I thought for sure I’d get your voicemail again.”
“I know, I’ve been terrible. I’m sorry.” Her treacherous hormones threatened to close her throat, thickening her voice.
Lucy picked up on it. Of course she did. She’d spent too long taking care of Becka not to read her easily. “What’s going on? And don’t tell me that it’s nothing. We both know you don’t disappear like this unless you’re avoiding telling me something.” She lowered her voice. “Is this because of Gideon? I thought you were okay with it—”
Oh no. She should have known that her sister would jump to that conclusion. “No. Hell no. I am legit happy for you. I promise.” There was no getting out of the truth now. Becka took a deep breath. “I’m... I’m pregnant.”
“What?” Lucy rushed on before she could respond—not that she had a response. “Becka, if this is your idea of a joke, it’s not funny.”
Her stomach dropped and she closed her eyes. Disbelief in her sister’s tone, yes, but also disappointment. The very reaction she’d feared. “No one’s joking. You’re going to be an aunt in roughly six months.”
“I... Wow...” Lucy cleared her throat. “Sorry, you just caught me by surprise. I didn’t realize... No, but you would have told me if you were seeing someone.”
Her sister didn’t mean anything by it, but every word was a knife to Becka’s heart. A confirmation of what she’d always known to be the truth. She was far more like her wayward mother than she’d ever been like her responsible older sister.
Lucy finally managed to get her reaction under control. “How are you doing? Are you okay?”
Even now, even when she was obviously caught off-guard and disappointed, she still managed to set it aside and worry about Becka. “I’m fine. He’s a good guy.” She wasn’t willing to shock Lucy further by telling her the father was Aaron. “He’s pushy and determined to research this thing to death and he’s constantly on my ass about making me eat, but he wants to be in the baby’s life.”
“It sounds like you care about him.”
She pushed to her feet, but there was nowhere to run with the phone against her ear. Becka bit down on her impulse to yell that it was a one night stand and she couldn’t possibly care about him because she barely knew him. It wasn’t the truth. Not anymore. She swallowed hard. “I don’t know how I feel about anything anymore.”
“Relationships aren’t always like it was with them.” No need for her to ask who Lucy meant. Their parents. “Gideon and I might argue sometimes, but he’s my rock. It might be nice if you had someone to be your rock, too.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” She glanced at the faded digital clock over her oven. “Hey, Lucy, I’ve got to go if I’m going to make my next appointment. Talk to you later?”
“I’m here for you, Becka. No matter what. You know you can call me anytime, right? For anything.”
“I know.” Damn it, now she really was going to cry. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
She hung up and stared at her phone. That had gone... Well wasn’t the right word. Even with Lucy offering unconditional support, she couldn’t shake the fact that her DNA had outed once and for all, realizing both their worst fears.
That Becka was just their mother 2.0.
She headed for her first personal training appointment for the day, and then there was no more time for worrying about her worst fears coming true. Time went too fast, and it felt like seconds later that she was in the locker room and jumping in the shower. She pulled on a sheath dress in a brilliant pink and orange pattern that hid her growing baby bump and slipped into simple flats and a funky cropped jacket. Becka pulled her hair back into a deceptively simple braid and threw some mascara and lipstick on.
Feeling like herself for the first time in a long time, she hurried out of the locker room just as her phone dinged. She smiled when she saw Aaron’s text. I’m out front.
Punctual as always.
She hefted her bag more firmly on her shoulder and strode out the doors. It will be okay. Just because I’m off center and scared all over again doesn’t mean I am going to ruin tonight.
I refuse to ruin tonight.
Aaron had his hands in his pockets and wore a well-fitting black suit with a dove-gray button-down underneath. His smile dimmed when he caught sight of her bag. “Let me carry that.”
“Honey, I can bench 150 and I have arms to rival Michelle Obama. I got it.” She caught herself and sighed. “But if you’re going to turn into a human storm cloud, you can take it.”
“Being chivalrous is not being a human storm cloud.” He took the bag easily and offered her his free arm.
No point in arguing about the damn bag further. Truth be told, her back was bothering her a little, but she’d sew her lips shut before she admitted as much to Aaron. He’d probably load her into a cab and rush her to the hospital or something in response. “And here I thought chivalry was dead.”
“A nasty rumor. Nothing more.”
She fell into step beside him. “You know, you’re funnier than I thought when we first met. At the wedding, it was all intensity and come-fuck-me eyes, and here you are, cracking sly jokes at the drop of a hat.”
“I don’t know how you remember the wedding, but you didn’t leave much room for jokes.” He slid his arm around her waist the same way he had on the walk to the taco truck. It pressed the entire sides of their bodies together and sparked desire through her in response. Aaron, damn him, knew it.
“I was in a bad way, and you had exactly what I needed.” She hadn’t meant to say it aloud, to offer up even that much information, but her earlier conversation with Lucy still had her off her game. The words saturated the air between them and there was no taking them back.
Aaron kept quiet for half a block. Finally, almost reluctantly, he said, “I imagine weddings aren’t your favorite thing, let alone your sister’s wedding.”
“I’m happy for her.” The response was so automatic, it almost felt real. He shot her a look and she cursed. “Okay, fine, I was sick to my stomach from the time she told me Gideon prop
osed until they got in that limo and drove away. Rationally, I know that not every marriage goes down in flames, but it’s hard when my heart and brain get to battling. She was engaged to a douchebag before Gideon, and he did a number on her. I know Gideon would rather set himself on fire than do anything to hurt her, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying. What if something happens to him? She’ll never recover.”
“There are no guarantees in life.”
Becka rolled her eyes, even though her amusement had died a terrible death at the mention of her sister’s wedding. But then, she’d been in a funk all day. “Thanks for that fortune cookie–pat answer. I know that. Of course I know that. But there are enough painful moments in life without inviting the bastard to kick you in the teeth at the first available opportunity. Even you have to admit that.”
He pulled her closer without missing a step. “Life is hard. It’s full of all the bad stuff, sure. But it’s full of good stuff, too. The difference is that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and grab onto the good stuff with both hands. Avoiding anything that might cause you pain down the road...” He hesitated. “That’s no way to live, minx.”
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to so badly, she could taste the need like on the back of her tongue. It would be the simplest thing in the world to let go, to step into Aaron and let go of all her fears.
To grab onto a possible future with them together with both hands and hold it close until it became reality.
The strength of the desire startled her. Terrified her. She opened her mouth to shut down this line of conversation, but couldn’t make herself do it. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
* * *
Aaron had to fight to put aside their conversation as they walked into the bar. It looked like millions of other bars across the city, from the faded wood tables to the blinking neon lights of various beer signs to the half a dozen televisions positioned strategically around the room. But the floors weren’t sticky and the place smelled pleasantly of something he couldn’t quite place.
Becka led the way to a table near the bar where trivia was being set up. She took a paper to fill out and sat down before he could pull out her chair. Aaron repressed a sigh and took the seat diagonal from her. He picked up the menu and flipped through it. Instead of the normal bar food he expected, it was all Asian fusion. “Huh.”
“The sushi is great, and so is anything stir-fry.” She spoke without looking up. “There are also wings on the last page.”
Strange place. He eyed the paper she was filling out. “What’s our team name?”
“Cunning Linguists.”
He barked out a laugh. “Clever.”
“I aim to please.” She smiled at the waiter that walked up. “Can I get cranberry juice and a starter of the egg rolls?”
“Sure thing.” He looked expectantly at Aaron. “And for you?”
What he really wanted was a beer, but he’d been serious about not drinking in front of her for the time being, so he ordered an iced tea. “And add the wontons to the starters.” He’d seen Becka eat, and he had no illusions about getting any of those egg rolls for himself.
Becka waited for the man to leave the table before sitting back to pin Aaron with a look. “I’m surprised you didn’t decide to educate me on how unhealthy egg rolls are, being fried and all.”
He didn’t bother to hide his grin. “I figure you might dump that glass of water over my head if I did.”
“Smart man.”
“I have my moments.” He snagged the paper to look over the categories. “Plus, you’re a personal trainer. You eat better than I do most of the time. If you want egg rolls for a starter, you can have egg rolls.”
“Wow. Thanks for permission.”
Aaron growled. “Don’t make this into a fight, minx.”
“I’m not. You—” She snapped her mouth closed and looked a little sheepish. “I might be making it into a fight. Sorry. I’m a little on edge.”
Whether it was hormones or their earlier conversation made no difference. He was smart enough not to agree with her. Instead Aaron pointed at the trivia paper. “Dungeons and Dragons is one of the categories.”
“Is it?” She blinked deceptively innocent eyes at him. “Did I fail to mention this was an ultimate geek trivia night?”
“Must have slipped your mind,” he muttered. He glanced over the categories again. The tech gadget one he had a chance at. He was relatively well versed in Harry Potter just by virtue of living in current times and having both internet and cable. The rest might as well have been Greek for all he had a chance of deciphering it. “You like this stuff?”
“I’ve been known to run a campaign or two.” She caught his look and laughed. “I like playing against type. Besides, it’s fun if you have a good group.” Something like a shadow flickered over her face, and he didn’t have to ask to know that there were times when she hadn’t had a good group. Knowing what little he did of geek culture and how a portion of the population treated women, he could guess how that had fallen out. Before he could ask, Becka gave him a bright smile. “Stick with me, young padawan. I’ll show you the ropes.”
The woman running the game stood up and introduced herself, and then they were off to the races. Despite being the weak link for their duo in this realm, Aaron found himself drawn into Becka’s enthusiasm and competitive spirit. She really did know a whole hell of a lot in this subset of trivia, and they ended up taking second place in the competition.
After paying for their tab, he slung an arm around her waist and they headed out. She brandished their second-place sticker. “Next time, we’re going for gold. You just need to brush up on about ten years’ worth of knowledge in a week.”
“Consider it done.”
She laughed. “You took being upstaged rather well, all things considered. Most guys would have bitched and stomped out of there when the elves questions came up.”
“Just because I was outmatched doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself.” He pressed a casual kiss to the top of her head. “Besides, you’re into it. I had fun.”
“Me, too.” She sounded almost surprised by that fact. “Aaron.”
“Yeah?”
“I like you.”
From the way she braced as if expecting a blow, the words had taken a lot of courage to say. He stepped out of foot traffic. Aaron turned her to face him and tipped her chin up so she couldn’t hide from his gaze. “I like you, too.”
She worried her bottom lip. “You’re right, you know. We have to talk about the baby.”
This change of tone should have spelled victory for him, but he found himself reluctant to push her. He kissed her forehead and then her lips. “We can talk when you’re ready—really ready.”
“What if I’m never ready?” She laughed softly. “Because at this point, I don’t know what I’m doing, and even thinking about it is enough to have me borderline panicking.”
“You’re not alone, minx. You’re not facing this by yourself. I’ll be there every step of the way. Never doubt that.”
She smiled against his mouth. “I don’t.”
He didn’t believe her for a second, but Aaron let it go. He was making progress, and that was all that mattered. A week of fragile peace couldn’t combat an entire lifetime of living a certain way. Becka might not trust him completely, but he’d do whatever it took to win both her trust and her willingness to be in his life.
If the last few days had done anything, they’d confirmed something for him.
He didn’t just want to be in the baby’s life.
He wanted to be in Becka’s.
He wanted to be with Becka.
CHAPTER TWELVE
BECKA LOOKED UP as the door opened and Aaron walked in. He missed a step but recovered almost immediately. “I didn’t realize you’d be home before me today.”
&n
bsp; “My last appointment canceled. He’s got food poisoning.” She flipped through the channels for the twelfth time in the last hour. Nothing held her attention, and she’d already circled through the kitchen to stare blankly into the fridge four times before shutting it and returning to the couch. Becka didn’t do well with a lack of activity, and today was no exception. She had energy to burn off and she didn’t know what to do with herself. She sat up and eyed Aaron. “You in a hurry?”
He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it in the closet just inside the door. “I have some work I brought home, but it just needs to be done sometime tonight. Why? You have something in mind?”
“I do.” She bounced off the couch and came around to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Let’s take a spin class.”
Aaron stopped short. “That did not go where I was expecting.”
“You thought I meant sex.” She laughed and started down the hall. “We can bang it out later. Riding your cock is great cardio, but I didn’t have a spin class today and I’m going to drive us both crazy if I don’t do something about it.” She pulled out her phone and paged through the app she had that gave her all the nearby gyms’ schedules. It didn’t take long to find one that would fit the bill.
Becka turned, but Aaron hadn’t moved from his spot by the door. She stopped short and cursed herself for being an idiot. It took effort to keep her shoulders square and the disappointment from her voice. “You don’t have to go, Aaron. It’s okay. I just got excited.”
He gave himself a shake. “No, I want to. You surprised me is all.” He crossed the distance between them in two large steps and kissed her hard enough that her back hit the wall. When he finally raised his head, both their breathing had turned harsh. Aaron smiled. “I’ve been curious about your particular brand of spin since Roman told me about it a while back.” He paused. “I’m happy you’re sharing this with me, minx.”
He made it sound like a much bigger deal than it should be but...