Twice as Hot

by Gena Showalter

Chapter Twelve

 

  I clutched the terry-cloth towelso tightly my knuckles creaked. My hair was dripping down my back.

  My skin was damp, flushed from the steam and, now that I'd seen Rome, tingling. Any other time, I would have dropped the cloth and beckoned this man over. Any other time, we would have laughed and loved, and I would have marveled at the bliss that was my life.

  Fine, I would have taken it for granted. Now, however, I knew better. Knew how quickly something prized could be stolen.

  "What are you doing here?" I asked, the question emerging shakily. "Did something happen?" Nothing but bad news could have parted him from his precious Lexis, the hateful side of me thought. Just call me Bitch McBitcherson, the paranormal name I currently deserved.

  "No, nothing happened. " Rome pushed to his feet, unfolding his big, strong body from its semicrouch. I was used to his height, loved it even, but just then he appeared intimidating. Menacing. A scowl darkened his features, and I could hear the rumble in his throat.

  His cat wanted free. To fight or to play? Sadly, I couldn't tell anymore. But I still reacted.

  Suddenly trembling, I backed up a step. My heart skidded out of control, beating so hard it was like a hammer in my chest. He's not affecting you. You're just hungry, remember? Hungry for food, I hastily added.

  "Rome, you have to tell me what you're doing here. "

  Remaining silent, he stalked to me. There was lethal power in every step, and for a moment I could have sworn I was transported to a jungle, the swish of trees and the howls of the monkeys in my ears.

  This time I backed up until I hit the wall.

  Only when he was a whisper away did he stop, his body threatening to press into mine. His wild scent filled my nose, a decadent reminder of what I didn't have. . . what I might never have again. Oh, I loathed those kinds of depressing thoughts. Where was my determination? Still, I tried to hold my breath. When that didn't work, I tried to move around him. But he had me completely pinned, surrounded by his strength and heat.

  "Belle," he said softly.

  I had to strain my neck to look up. . . up. . . at him - and found those crystalline irises swirling with fury.

  Hewas mad at me? "How'd you get in here, Mr. Break In?" I demanded, pointing out his sin before he could point out mine, whatever it was. "This is private property and you no longer belong. "

  "Hardly. This is the address on my driver's license, so I knew I'd have a key. I used the only one I didn't recognize, and what do you know, the door opened. "

  "Well, you can just give the key back. You don't live here anymore. " He arched a brow, his fury fading to. . . amusement? Still he didn't back away from me. "Says who?"

  "Says me. " My head tilted to the side. "Says Lexis, I'm sure. " The fury returned, stronger than before, nearly sparking. "I'll come over any time I damn well please. "

  "Why?" I asked - again - then cursed under my breath as the answer popped into my head. He was here to monitor me, as he'd told John he would. I would have been happy about that if I didn't so easily recall the way he'd sworn never to kiss me again. "Never mind. I'm buying a vicious dog. He'll chew you up and spit out your bones. "

  "I'm sure he'll try. "

  Infuriating, conceited man. Did he know what a turn-on that was? Probably. I tried another approach.

  "As you can see, I'm fine. I'm not causing any trouble or using any of the elements irresponsibly. You can go. "

  The rumbling started up again. "I'm not going anywhere. There was a box on your porch when I arrived.

  I took the liberty of opening it," he added, not even pretending to be ashamed.

  Another present? And he had dared to open what was clearly meant for me? "You had no right!" Rather than defend his actions, he continued throwing words at me as if they were weapons. "It was from your secret admirer. "

  Deep breath in, deep breath out. Calm is your friend. "Well, what was it?"

  "Lingerie. With the words Wonder Girl sewn onto the ass of the panties. " Totally not what I'd expected him to say, and my lips curled into a slow grin.

  His eyes rounded like saucers. "You think this is funny?"

  "Well, yeah. " I probably should have been offended. I mean, really. Lingerie most likely given to me by a man I'd never even met. A man who'd stolen my fiance's memories, no less. But part of me realized that if it was M-Squared doing the sending, he was finally tapping into Rome's psyche and learning about me. What I liked, what I didn't. That was just the sort of gift I would have swooned over had Rome given it to me.

  "Where's the box?" I asked.

  His mouth straightened into a mulish line as he braced his hands beside my temples. "Don't worry about that. I'm taking care of it. "

  If I inhaled deeply, my nipples would brush his chest. "I'm not worried, I just want to see them. "

  "Too bad. Now listen. I stopped by the lab on my way here. There were no prints on those chocolates, but they were a very expensive brand, so we've got agents hacking into the distributor's database to see who made the order and from where. "

  Mmm, chocolate. Was that my stomach rumbling? "Sounds like a plan. " I flattened my palms on him to push him away, but his heart beat faster and harder than I had imagined, and I could only stand there in wonder, savoring the feeling. And though his shirt kept me from actual skin-to-skin contact, the heat of him enthralled me. "Now back off?" It was a question when it should have been a demand.

  Rome didn't. Rather, he pressed closer. So close my hardened nipples finally, blessedly brushed his chest. I gasped; he hissed in a breath.

  "Memory Man," he said, voice strained, "has probably been in this house. With my memories, he'd know the best ways inside. "

  "So we're one hundred percent sure it's him? And really, you fortified the place with all kinds of security. "

  "Not one hundred percent, no, but we're pretty damn confident. And he'd know exactly what security measures I used and how to bypass them. "

  "Oh. " How easy it would be to slide my hands up and around Rome's neck. How easy to draw his head down for a kiss. . . "Well, he hasn't hurt me. If it's him. " Was that breathless temptress me?

  "Not yet. But let's say that he wants you to fall in love with him the way you fell in love with me. I mean, we know he liked my memories of you. And if we're right, he's trying to romance you, win your heart.

  When you fail to react the way he wants, he could become angry. "

  "First, for all we know, whoever it is leaving me these gifts just wants to sex me up. " I spread my fingers, felt his nipple harden underneath my palm. "Second, who says I can't fall in love with Memory Man?" Rome stiffened. He gripped my arms and shook me, forcing my attention to his face. "Don't kid. " I snapped out of the sensual fog, and my hands fell to my sides. "Who's kidding? He's now in possession of your memories of me, which means he's the closest thing I've got to the real you. "

  "He's dangerous, Belle. "

  "So are you, and we made things work. For a while. "

  His grip tightened and he leaned down, placing us nose to nose, his choppy breath trekking over my lips.

  "You like taunting me, don't you? Well, guess what? It works. I can't fucking get you out of my mind. " He released me long enough to slam a fist into the plaster just beside my temple. "That kiss was a goddamn mistake. It was supposed to purge you from my thoughts, make me stop wondering what you taste like. "

  He'd wanted to forget me entirely? To never think of me again? Suddenly I felt as if I'd been strapped down and cut open, salt poured into the wound. "I think I hate you right now," I said honestly.

  He pulled back, studied my face before shaking his head. "You don't hate me. " His gaze dropped to my mouth, lingered. "You want me. "

  He could have been saying get naked, as huskily as he'd uttered the words, but that kind of assurance about my capitulation irritated me. A man that confident would feel comfortable doing something destructive to a relationship - like going home to
his ex-wife - and think an apology was all that was needed to patch things up.

  "Look, Rome. I love you. I do. And I want you. " God, did I want him. Maybe it was my hunger making me admit these things, but I couldn't hold the words back. "The thing is, I won't let myself have you. " Not now. Not after he'd rejected me. Again.

  His gaze jerked up and clashed with mine, confusion darkening those gorgeous irises. "Why not?" Was he. . . pouting? Surely not. "You should be totally on board with my refusal. I thought we'd already decided to keep things platonic. That's what you told John, isn't it?" His eyelids slit dangerously. "I only promised him you wouldn't catch on fire again. Not that I wouldn't kiss you again. "

  Hope, such silly hope. "I don't believe you. And you can't just change your mind like that. I'm not a piece of chocolate - " hmm, chocolate " - you can drool over one moment, then forget about the next, and then think about eating again later. " Okay, perhaps that wasn't the best analogy. Rome, eating, teeth and tongue moving, working. . . I shivered. "I know what it feels like to be made love to by a man who loves me, and I won't settle for anything less. Now, you need to leave. " The very teeth I was imagining all over my body suddenly flashed in a show of aggression. "I can't stay away. That's the problem. What the hell have you done to me?" Anger gave me strength. I fisted the fabric of his shirt, bones so taut they could have snapped. "What are you implying?"

  "Does your saliva have an addictive agent in it? Is that another of your powers?" So. He thought I'd somehow tricked him into desiring me, that he couldn't possibly want me because he had loved me, because we'd had something special. Had, I thought. Key word.

  My love life was going up in flames around me, and there was nothing I could do but watch it burn.

  "Maybe it does," I said sadly. Then, with more force, "Maybe, when I find Memory Man, I'll kiss the hell out of him. Maybe he'll ask me to marry him and actually go through with it. " Though I'd meant to sound flippant there at the end, my hurt rang through loud and clear.

  The more I spoke, the more Rome's pupils narrowed until there was nothing left but a thin black line. He cupped my chin, forcing my face to his. "When I was a boy, I saved my money for months because I wanted to buy a pet lizard. Have I told you this before?"

  "No, but what does that have to do with anything?" I asked, even though I was desperate to hear the story. I loved him, but I didn't know much about his childhood.

  "Just listen. Like I said, I saved for months. Finally, I'd saved enough. I went to the pet store, bought everything I needed for its care and took little Bone Crusher home. "

  "You named him Bone Crusher? "

  He acted as if I hadn't spoken. "I owned him for three weeks before my mom noticed him. By that time, I loved him, couldn't imagine my life without him. "

  I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. "Bone Crusher, though?"

  "My mom saw him and freaked. She made me let him go out back, held me against her so I couldn't run after him. I cried for days. "

  "I - I - " Wanted to hug him. The little boy he'd been, the man he'd become. Both were precious to me. I coughed to cover my softening. "What does Bone Crusher have to do with me?" Once more, Rome got in my face. He was fury and he was hurt; he was longing and he was determination. He was. . . everything. "I've regretted that I didn't fight for him ever since. "

  "I don't understand. " Was afraid to hope.

  His jaw hardened, so firm and stubborn my heart swelled. "I'm going to kiss you, Belle. And I'm going to touch you. "

  I lost my breath. Or rather, it caught in my throat, hanging there, suspended. "We're not supposed to do this," I whispered, because I couldn't say no. But maybe I could talk us out of this.

  "So?"

  "So. " I licked my lips. "I'm not going to let myself have you until your memory returns. " If I could find the strength to continue to resist him. Right now, that seemed more impossible than Desert Gall deciding to turn herself in.

  His gaze had followed the movement of my tongue. "I remember our last kiss. " The hoarse statement dripped with desire.

  Oh, God. Already my resistance was crumbling. "I could burn you. " Again. Could burn this house.

  "Could?" He chuckled without humor. "You already have. "

  Fight his appeal. "It's dangerous. " A reminder for me, for him.

  "Doesn't have to be. John told me I caged your abilities once, kept us both safe from them. "

  "Key word once. "

  "I want to try again. And I will. " He didn't give me time to utter another protest. He simply smothered my lips with his own, his tongue thrusting deep and hard and hot.

  My hands were in his hair before I could stop them, fisting, nails digging into his scalp just as his were in mine. Our tongues took and gave and fought, but I finally allowed him to conquer. His lips were soft, his body a hard press.

  One of his hands kneaded my breast through the towel, and the nipple pearled to a sharp little point. He moaned into my mouth. I swallowed the sound, the flavor adding a new level of passion.

  As I arched into him - yes, God yes, so good - his erection rubbing against me, common sense tried to rear its ugly head. Stay in control. Don't give him everything. Hold a part of yourself back.

  But why? my heart cried.

  Without his memory, he'll hurt you once the loving is over. And, as you tried to remind him, you could kill him with your fire. He might not be able to cage your abilities like he used to, even though he thinks he can.

  True, so true. I'd have to be careful, stay in command. Enjoy him, yes. For a little while. Because I simply could not resist him anymore. And I needed to forget, if only for a bit, the bleak abyss my life had become.

  But as common sense demanded, I'd have to hold a part of myself back. That was the only safe way I could allow myself this kiss. And I had to have this kiss, for he was devouring me as if he needed me to survive. He was here, in my arms, craving more of me. He was the man I loved, the man I would - hopefully - marry.

  "I want to touch you," he said, releasing my hair and tugging at my towel.

  "No. Too much," I replied between nips and licks.

  "Want to touch you. Want you to touch me. "

  I was working his shirt over his head before he'd finished the sentence. I tossed the material to the floor in a forgotten heap. Then I flattened my palms against his chest and gasped. He was hot, both hard and soft, as though fire flowed in his veins, as though silk covered stone.

  "You're so beautiful. " I'd missed this contact with him. This connection.

  "Not as beautiful as you. " He licked his way down my throat, then licked his way back up. "Touch me more, but kiss me, too. Your mouth is killing me, and I want to die. "

  "Like this?" I kissed a path down his neck just as he'd done mine, my nails lightly scraping at his back.

  All the while, fire flowed through my veins. I could feel the first tendrils waking up, sparking to life. I tamped them down, using every ounce of strength I possessed.

  "You were made for me, weren't you? My sweetest temptation. " His fingers traced the bottom of my towel, slowing drawing it up. . . up. . . revealing inch after inch of thigh. When he reached the curve of my butt, he stopped and played, massaging. "Perfection. "

  I bit the cord at the base of his throat, just the way I knew he liked, and he hissed in a breath. "Careful, Rome darling, or you'll fall in love with me again. "

  For a moment, he didn't reply, and the bedroom echoed with the sound of our panting. "I'll love you in and out of that catsuit. I know that. " So Sherridan was right about the catsuit after all, both the wearing of and the peeling off. Score! I didn't have time to gloat about - uh, dwell on it, though, because he arched his hips, rubbing his erection between my legs.

  I cried out at the pleasure, had to fortify my grip on my inner fire. "What about the dress? Did you love me in that?"

  He chuckled softly, darkly. "In that dress you almost gave me heart failure. Then, in nothing but the foam, you
were like a fantasy come to life. Then, in that halter and miniskirt, you had me drooling. Now, in the towel, you're a dream come true. "

  "Don't - don't talk like that. " Already the fire inside me churned to be released. Any more of his sweet talk, and I'd lose my grip on it.

  "How're you doing?" he asked, as if sensing my struggle.

  "Burning," I said truthfully, and then licked one of his nipples. I just couldn't help myself. A shiver stole through me and flowed into him. "But I'm okay. Got it under control as long as we keep things physical.

  No emotions. "

  The muscles in his stomach quivered and he tangled one hand in my wet hair, pulling tight. The other remained on my ass, squeezing. "Give me the heat, baby. "

  I froze in shock, in joy. Baby. He'd just called me baby. That's what he'd called me BML - before memory loss. Part of me had thought never to hear him speak the endearment again. Hearing it now, while I was in his arms. . . there was no stopping my surge of emotion, which was like adding kindling to the fire inside me.

  "What?" he asked, grip loosening on my hair but not my ass.

  "N-nothing. " Mind blank, Belle. Mind blank. Only desire is welcome right now. I kissed and nipped my way to his other nipple and gave it the same treatment. He was hard against me, hard and thick and long. I knew just how magnificent it would feel to ease him inside me, pushing deep, all the way to the hilt. He would stretch me, and I would love it. We'd both become mindless, lost, and the pleasure would be extraordinary. We'd explode like rockets.

  But what would happen afterward? I found myself wondering again. So much for a blank mind.

  Again, as if he sensed my internal struggle, he rubbed against me, once, twice, and I moaned, once more losing myself. The pleasure was just too damn good.

  Higher and higher my fire raged. Tighter and tighter I gripped it, holding it captive. But for how much longer? "I - I need a moment," I panted. I jerked my hips backward, out of touching range. Several deep, shuddering breaths later and I still wasn't in as much control as I would have liked.

  Rome traced a fingertip along the curve of my cheek. "What's wrong, baby?" Baby again. "Just have to catch my breath. "

  "Yeah. Right. Give me your heat," he commanded again.

  "No. "

  When his fingers began inching down my throat to the edge of the towel, tracing as if he meant to push it away and caress my nipples skin to skin, perhaps bending down and kissing my belly before laving at the desire between my legs, the fire inside me grew, spread, soon demanding release.

  I needed to push him away. I settled for dropping my hands to my sides. I straightened, but couldn't look him in the eyes. Not yet. Those eyes always enslaved me. "We - we have to stop. For now. "

  "We just got started," he said, but his fingers ceased their movement.

  God, do I know it,I thought, already mourning what could have been. There was so much more we could do, so much more I yearned to do. "I'm sorry. "

  He sighed. "Either you changed your mind about wanting me, which I doubt is the case since I can smell the sweetness of your arousal, or you're afraid to give me your fire. " My legs were trembling so much I expected to topple at any moment, and this time the trembling came from something besides hunger, something besides anger. He was right, it came from fear. "Doesn't matter which supposition is correct. Tell me you remember something about our life together. " Something, anything. Only then could I trust him to properly filter me.

  Silence.

  I cut off the surge of hurt before it could bombard me. "That's why we're stopping. You don't remember me, and until you do, you get nothing from me. Like I said, I won't let you screw me as if I'm a stranger. I want your love or nothing at all. " I'd have to remember that myself, as easily and as quickly as I gave in to him.

  "Fair enough," Rome said evenly. He held up his hands, palms out, and stepped backward, no longer crowding me.

  I sagged against the wall to keep myself in a standing position, despising the loss of contact. Stupid girl, my hormones cried.

  "But I hope you understand that I do plan to change your mind," he added, then strolled out of my bedroom and out of the house, the door clicking shut behind him.