Eneas scoffed. “Why does it matter? It’s done. There’s no turning back now.”
“But there is a way to fix it,” I replied.
“We’re free. You can’t do this to us again!” Filicore snarled, but Malin held him back. His rage was palpable, however. And I certainly deserved it.
I laughed, mockery permeating from my voice. “You must be joking. You’re the ones who conspired to release the World Crusher, and that—”
“Excuse me,” Eneas cut me off. “You said we’d be free only when the World Crusher was free. That meant never.”
“Exactly. You should’ve accepted the ‘never,’” I retorted, unwilling to accept reprimands from anyone, let alone a handful of Ghoul Reapers. They were my doing, in a certain sense. They were like this because I had underestimated the kind of damage World might inflict upon others while in captivity. I did bear responsibility for their condition.
Eneas smirked. “We never consented to being on Biriane forever. We answered your call for help, rose to the occasion and gave it our absolute best. And to reward our loyalty, you locked us there. You never gave us a chance.”
“I couldn’t. The damage was already done. At the risk of repeating myself, you should have accepted your fate,” I said. It sounded wrong, even as the words left my lips, but I was never one to easily admit my faults or mistakes in front of others, especially in front of lesser beings. There were things about me I would never wish nor be able to change. Whether anyone liked me or not, it did not matter. I offered a dignified end to everyone, but it was an end, nonetheless. Everything else would fade, including one’s awareness of my existence. “With that out of the way, however, we seem to be facing quite the conundrum, don’t you think?”
Hadras’s lips twisted with disgust. “Of your own making, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Perhaps. But you haven’t exactly been good boys either, or shall I once more bring up the way you deceived Unending into releasing the World Crusher?” I asked, though I already had my answer. It was imprinted on each of their hauntingly beautiful faces. “Good. We’re in agreement, then. Something must be done.”
Eneas shrugged. “Do you have a solution that doesn’t involve dooming us for an eternity? Because we would rather be cast into the nothingness than spend another eon with the World Crusher. Destroy us now, if that is your plan. Otherwise, we’ll keep following her, unable to pull ourselves away.”
He clearly meant it. There was a sliver of regret twisting in the pit of my stomach, but I ignored it. Maybe I did give a damn, after all. No. I could not allow myself such feelings. After everything I had done and everything else that I was about to do, thinking too much about these things would only grieve me, and the universe needed a sane and functional Death, not one crippled with sorrow. My likeability was always a non-issue since no one could ever possibly “like” Death, but my purpose was ironclad. My sense unwavering.
“You shall be free once I’ve retrieved the World Crusher,” I declared. “You are bound to her. Which means you can sniff the World Crusher out precisely, whereas I can only sense her. I need your help to find her and seal her back where she belongs.”
Filicore chuckled bitterly. “You’d better put her on a planet that is already dead, then. You saw what she did to Biriane.”
“That is nothing compared to what she will do to the entire universe if she is left to her own devices,” I warned him. “The longer the World Crusher is free, the stronger she becomes. The seal served to weaken her, not just hold her down.”
“Well, then, it’s a pity you can’t just destroy her, huh?” Malin replied, his tone clipped. I was responsible for that, too. His fearlessness in throwing such reproaches at me should’ve caused anger, but I only felt bumbling bitterness, for it was the truth, and I was tired of denying the unpleasant truth of my many shortcomings. “Had you made her slightly more vulnerable, none of us would be here. You found the strength to destroy one of your own before. Tristan told us. You destroyed the Spirit Bender. You could’ve destroyed the World Crusher too.”
I mustered a sardonic, desert dry smile. “But I cannot, so that is not even an option worth mentioning. What say you, then? Will you help me?”
“Do we even have a choice?” Fileas growled.
“I could destroy you and cast you into the nothingness instead. That is an option, since your brother mentioned it,” I said. “But I would rather let you be. You’ve never eaten souls. Perhaps if I pair you with other Reapers you will continue to exist soul-free. I have no reason to destroy you unless you give me one.”
Eneas thought about it for a while. None of his brothers spoke. Around us, the universe shifted as the asteroid hurtled through space. Stars danced across the black sky. Once in a while, I caught glimpses of rabid pink and flaming orange stardust. The glimmer of a nearby sun dying. The world would keep expanding, and this dimension would keep thriving—as long as the World Crusher was contained. I could not destroy her, and neither could the Word. The last thing I needed was for him to know about her. He would never forgive me.
It was part of the reason I’d asked Unending for her discretion. I couldn’t risk news of the World Crusher reaching Word. I had told him she’d been destroyed ages ago. I’d told Order the same thing. The shame I would feel if my siblings learned about this… It was unbearable to me. I didn’t care much about what anyone thought of me, but the Word and Order… they mattered. More than I would have liked to admit.
“And if we help you,” Eneas finally replied, “you’ll leave us be?”
“On the sole condition that you don’t eat souls. So, technically yes,” I said.
“It’s the word ‘technically’ that irks me when it comes from you,” Filicore grumbled. Of all six, he was the most fearless when it came to speaking to me. As bold as Spirit was, though never as evil nor as selfish. I’d had the fae brothers raised from the dead and turned into Reapers because they had died selflessly to protect their kind. I’d thought an eternity ushering souls into the afterlife might feel like the right reward for what they had done. Instead, they’d ended up as six miserable hybrids, forever stuck between ghoul and Reaper forms, poisoned by the World Crusher.
“None of this is your fault,” I conceded. “Aside from your little game with Unending, of course. It would be unfair and hypocritical of me to state otherwise.” And I’d been hypocritical enough to last them a thousand lifetimes already. “You have my word on this. Help me catch the World Crusher, help me lock her away again, and I shall let you be, as long as you don’t deprive a single soul of their afterlife.”
Eneas smiled. “Like you deprived us, you mean.”
“Exactly.”
“It’s a deal,” he replied. “We’re in.”
“You will risk destruction. World will not come voluntarily,” I warned them.
“We risk destruction either way,” Eneas sighed. “At least, if we work with you, we’ll actually be doing a bit of good for this world. Our fates will not have been in vain.”
And so it began. The strangest collaboration I’d ever heard of, though not the first of its kind, nor the last: I had enlisted the services of the living. I had dispatched Reapers of my realm too. But the Ghoul Reapers were strangely independent. Their mere existence demanded my respectful approach. An agreement had been reached and just in time, for the World Crusher’s presence burned through me, stronger than ever.
She was nearby, somewhere within this cluster of galaxies. I brought the invisible shield down and motioned for the Ghoul Reapers to go. “Lead the way,” I said, and they did. The World Crusher was my mess to fix, yes. But I could not do it alone.
Perhaps this time around I would finally accept that I was unique, but not all powerful nor unbeatable. My own creations had proven that more than once. Perhaps I should take notice. In the end, I wished to be able to go back to Unending and show her that I could do better. The future had already shown me that much, so why fight it?
Unending
&
nbsp; Making love to Tristan was always an extraordinary experience, but now that I’d been given a living body, it was beyond that. It was something I could no longer describe with words of any language; I could only relish every sensation. The feel of his skin against mine, his stubble tickling my face. The taste of him on my lips, the way my heart raced whenever his hands explored me. The sound of his voice pouring into my ear, the strength of him as our bodies came together.
Our souls were already connected. Now our bodies could be too.
“I could cry,” I whispered when we descended from the heavens and melted between the soft sheets of our bed. The windows were wide open, and the cool morning breeze swept through, making the flowery curtains dance. “Tears of joy, I mean. I could totally cry.”
“I remember a few tears throughout the night,” Tristan replied. We spooned beneath the covers, our feet a little cold but our hearts singing in splendid unison. “Nothing makes me happier than seeing you like this, Unending. This is true bliss we’re experiencing, and I intend to make the most of it.” A moment later, he’d turned us both over. I ended up beneath him, sinking into the mattress and giggling as he showered me with kisses.
Birds sang outside, their melodious trills filling the room as my husband and I could not get enough of each other. He loved my mouth with his, then trailed soft pecks down the side of my neck, peppering the occasional compliment along the way. I liked the way he worshipped me. Having a body had made me strangely self-aware, but not in a negative sense. Tristan had been quick to pick up on the changes in my demeanor, making sure not a moment went by that I didn’t know how beloved I truly was.
“See this line here?” he asked, gently tracing my hip with one finger, skin sizzling in the wake of his touch. “It’s the same as your physical form as a Reaper. This steep curve that goes down to what is arguably one of my favorite places.”
I laughed, and we rolled through the sheets once more. I was on top this time, our fingers entwined as I pulled his arms over his head and kissed him with every drop of love I had in me. Tristan’s lovemaking was as diverse as our travels. It could be wild and passionate—and he definitely had a way of making me cry out his name over and over—but it could also be sweet and deliberately slow, which I liked more because it meant I got to enjoy every prolonged second of it.
Judging by how our bodies and souls swayed in the slightly chilly breeze, I could tell we were in for a lazy morning. “I will never tire of this,” I told my husband at one point, while he left wet kisses on my bare shoulder. “Tristan, I’m in no rush to lose this body. It’s incredible. Everything is… enhanced.”
“I’ve never experienced an existence like yours, so I have absolutely no idea what it was like for you before Anunit gave you this body,” he said. “But your happiness is mine, my love. So yes. Let’s hold on to the flesh for as long as possible. Maybe we’ll find a way to get Death to help us later down the line.”
The mention of her name reminded me of the blunder I’d made of the World Crusher’s book seal. I sat up, wrapping myself in the blanket. Tristan watched me quietly for a while, waiting for me to respond. I was certain he could tell something was bothering me. I didn’t like stepping out of sweet heaven and back into the unpleasant reality, but alas, it had been inevitable. “I wonder how she’s faring,” I muttered.
“Who, Death?” Tristan asked, then offered a shrug. “I doubt she has much trouble. I mean, she’s Death, not some run-of-the-mill Reaper. She made the World Crusher, after all. I trust she’ll finally fix that particular mistake, but I’m certain she also wants you to stew a little in the guilt stemming from what happened at the Temple of Roses.”
I turned my head to look at him, nodding as I let his words sink in. “You are probably right. Well said, husband. Eloquent and insightful!”
“That’s what I thought, as soon as I said it,” he laughed. He stood and walked to the bathroom door. What a sight for sore eyes this man was. His tall frame and broad shoulders always made my temperature spike. The way his muscles twitched with every movement made me suck in a deep breath. And the look he gave me as he paused in the doorway made my heart skip a beat. “Would you care to join me?”
A shower with my husband. I would’ve been a fool to reject such an offer.
An hour later, we were settled on the terrace outside, overlooking the western part of the redwood forest. I caught glimpses of a couple of treehouses, but they were some distance away. We had plenty of privacy in these parts. The birds were still competing for best song of the morning, bouncing from perch to perch. They occasionally stopped to sip the cool dew from the opening hibiscus blossoms I’d been growing in ceramic pots on every balcony and terrace attached to our house.
Tristan had brought out coffee, along with a small porcelain pitcher of milk and sugar on a silver tray. Since he could stomach liquids, he didn't miss an opportunity to have coffee with me. We sipped in pleasant silence for a while, listening to the songbirds and watching the world move below.
I leaned over the sturdy wrought iron edge of the terrace to get a better look, spotting a couple coming from the north, heading west toward the Vale. “You know, this place feels genuinely different,” I said, having thought a lot about how I’d been perceiving The Shade since I’d come into a body.
“It’s about spatial perception, so I’m not surprised. Your brain is processing the visual information differently,” Tristan replied.
“Yeah, but… there’s more to it, I think,” I murmured. The couple I’d been watching seemed strange. They were holding hands, but there was nothing about them that hinted at happiness or love. If anything, they both looked on edge, constantly looking around. The man glanced up—a Mara, I realized as I noted the Calliope physiognomy. His girlfriend was a vampire of The Shade. I’d seen her before. But the man was startled. Our gazes locked for barely a split second before he yanked the vampire’s hand and they walked away, disappearing beyond a cluster of leafy bushes.
Then a young fae crossed the clearing nearby. Chantal. I recognized the silvery succubus shimmer of her skin, a trait she’d inherited from her father, Bijarki. She was as pretty as a summer flower, wearing a short white dress with bold crimson blossoms and crude green leaves imprinted here and there on the smooth fabric of the gently flared skirt. Much like the Mara before her, she looked up at our treehouse.
“More to it?” my husband asked.
“Look down,” I told him, and he followed my gaze.
I smiled and waved at Chantal, but she only gave us a faint smirk and kept walking, suddenly stiffer and in an apparent rush to be somewhere. “That’s odd,” Tristan said, his brow slightly furrowed.
“Right?” I replied. “It’s not just me, then.”
“Everybody has been checked and accounted for since the clone incident, and the portal is usually closed. It’s only opened with Derek and Sofia’s supervision,” he said. “Maybe they’re all on edge? I know I certainly would be if my home were attacked and someone replaced my loved ones with clones.”
I gave him a skeptical look. “You think their odd behavior is the result of trauma?”
“What else could it be?”
That was a good question, and it triggered a thought that hadn’t occurred to me before. I had been so busy being in love with Tristan, eager to enjoy my new condition, that I hadn’t considered the simplest method to double check the situation in The Shade. The living could lie, but the dead were mine for the truth. Except that I’d lost my connection to the Reapers and Death. The downside of having a body.
“Hold on, let me try something.” I pressed the call button on my earpiece. A few yards away, more familiar faces moved through the woods. Some wore cold smiles—the devious kind that made me wary. Others were completely lacking in any form of expression. I wasn’t sure which worried me more. “Esme, are you there?”
Her voice came through quickly. “Yes. Unending? Is that you?”
“My first time on the comms system,” I chuc
kled. “Listen, could you do me a favor?”
“Anything for you!”
Tristan frowned as he observed some of the people walking right past our redwood. I heard a distant laugh—it held the harsh edge of mockery, rather than the warmth of light humor. I’d learned the difference throughout my years, especially around the Shadians.
“Could you reach out to the Time Master for me?” I replied. “I can no longer connect to my siblings, if you remember.”
“Oh. He’s not around, but I’ll definitely send word,” she said.
“What about Sidyan?”
“He’s out, too.”
“Kelara?”
“On a mission, I think,” Esme replied. The more she told me, the tighter my muscles became, my hands balling slowly into fists.
“And the Soul Crusher?”
“I think he was due to come back to The Shade soon enough, but I’m not sure,” she blurted. It bothered me.
I shook my head slowly. “Kelara never goes on missions away from Soul,” I said, though mostly to myself. “What about Nethissis or Seeley? Weren’t they supposed to be around as well?”
“Yes, but they left,” Esme sighed. “We’re sort of Reaperless for a couple of days. Something ordered by Death, if I remember correctly. You know they don’t always share where they’re going.”
She was right about the lack of transparency, but what mission could Death have for my siblings, considering she was far away, hunting the World Crusher? Something didn’t make sense, and my instincts began to flare up like firecrackers. Pop, pop, pop, my mind snapped as I looked to my husband. “Babe, there’s something wrong here,” I said, after turning my earpiece off. Blood rushed through my veins, perhaps a little too fast. It made me tremble. This was fear. I had never felt fear like this before. It came with the realization that I was vulnerable. No longer the powerful Reaper.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
A Shade of Vampire 91: A Gate of Light Page 11