by Terra Snover
“Am I?”
“Yes, you most certainly are.”
“Is it wise to call your queen a fool?” I crossed my arms.
“Probably not. But it was an apt description of the dumb, happy look you were wearing.”
“Digging that hole deeper and deeper, I see.”
“Then do something about it. Toss me out the tallest tower for my insubordination.” She was now running the brush under my flaming halo with practiced grace.
“Na’, then I would need to get ready myself in the mornings.”
“Well, we couldn't let that happen now, could we?” She placed the brush on the vanity. “Done, and looking as good as ever.” She placed her hands on my shoulders in a kindly, almost sisterly, manner.
“Well done as always, Xor.” I looked at myself in the mirror; I did look damn good.
“My pleasure, my Queen.” She gave me a bow as I stood.
“So, what’s on the schedule for today?”
“I’m not privy to that information, you would need to ask Ren-”
At that exact moment, a short, ugly little spud of an Imp named Renny entered the room. “My Queen, Hell'a Oll’don requests an audience with you,” his high-pitched voice squeaked.
“Speak of the devil- no, Imp in this case, and he and he will appear,” Xor mused.
“What are you talking about, Xor?” Renny looked at her and blushed a bit as he did. Renny had a major crush on Xor, and for the life of me, I didn’t know if she had feelings for him. She did flirt with him, but I didn’t know if that was so she could get a rise out of him, or if she was actually interested in him.
I snapped my fingers a few times and Renny looked back at me. “Renny, pay attention, you were saying about Hell’a?”
“Oh yes, she needs to see you right away.”
“Of course, she does,” I grumbled. “Renny, go get the equipment I made for her.”
“As you wish, my Queen.” Renny bowed his long slicked-back black hair, not moving at all.
“How much hair pomade does he use to make it do that?” I whispered to myself as he scurried out of my bedroom as fast as his little legs could move him.
“Bye, Renny!” Xor gave him a wave as he left.
“Oh, right, Xor.” He paused and gave a huge smile. “As always, it is a pleasure, Xor!” Then he made it the rest of the way out of the room.
I walked to the door and looked to Xor right before I exited. “Xor, would you mind getting one of the guest rooms ready?”
“Are we expecting anyone, my Queen?” she inquired.
“No,” I paused. I had to play this one safe. If I said too much about the update and that Clockwork Princess, the System wouldn't be happy with me and I would be punished, N0 or not. “I just have an odd feeling we will be needing it. I could be wrong, but better safe than sorry.”
“As you wish.” She gave another bow as I left the room.
I walked down the hallway of my castle, the soft echo of my footsteps bouncing down the main corridor as I walked. There were paintings of my fake family, well-dressed Hellspawn with long horns, flaming crowns, blue skin, and serious or malevolent expressions on their faces. I had to give it to Lily and whoever helped her make all these paintings, each one was masterfully painted and it looked as if they were windows into rooms where row after row of Hellspawn sat eerily still.
I stopped at a painting I found extremely entertaining every time I saw it; it was a painting of me in all my splendor, a well-dressed Human man- apparently my dearly departed husband, and Drac, my son, as a child. Drac was dressed in a ridiculous-looking Victorian child outfit, skirt and all. From my art classes back in the real world, I knew that it was common for boys to have little dresses. Hell, I had a friend who was a boy and would wear a skirt on the regular, so it wasn’t the fact that a boy was wearing a skirt that was funny and more the fact that it was Drac in a skirt. His hair was curled and he had a huge cute bow around his collar, and to top it all off was holding a candy. It was hysterical.
“Mother, must you always look at that dreadful painting?” Drac Zargronith, the Red Prince, my son, came sauntering over to me, his long black hair drifting slightly behind him. “Every morning, you laugh at that painting. Yes, I get it, you had a twisted sense of style to make your beloved son dress in such a dreadful outfit, but must you revel in it every morning?”
“I can’t help it, Drac, just look at that cute little thing you used to be.” I used my baby-talk voice as I spoke. “Just look at that little face.” In reality, Drac never looked like this. He, like the rest of us, came fully formed into AO as whatever age we were going to be for the rest of our lives. This painting was something made by the GMs, probably my friend Lily because she would also find it really funny to dress Drac like this, to make the world feel more robust.
“Mother I… Ugh, you are hopeless.” Drac pushed his large, round, red lens sunglasses up his nose, a clear sign that he was annoyed.
“Why not dress like this again? I mean, it would be a nice change of pace from that same red suede suit you have on every day.”
“Stop it, Mother…”
“Aw, did I hit a nerve?” I went in and pinched his cheek.
“I will destroy you,” he grumbled as he swatted my hand away and started to move down the hallway away from me.
“I think I could take a cute little baby boy like you.” I matched his speed and walked down the hallway with him.
“We have brawled before and I remember it being a draw.”
“Mostly I remember breaking holes in the walls.” Alexander was so mad at us for that fight. He was working so hard on making this castle and we went and made so many new holes in it during our throwdown.
“Alright, then the Zargronith family one, castle walls zero.” Drac gave his trademark impish smile.
“Yeah, we beat the hell out of those walls.” I returned the smile. We walked down a long flight of stairs to the main hall where three thrones sat. The largest was mine, to one side was Drac’s, and the last and smallest was Hell’a’s, who was currently sitting on it. Hell’a was dressed in a black dress that covered much of her body and a large-brimmed hat; this is what she wore during the daytime to keep the sun off her pale-white vampire flesh. I thought it would just be easier to wear clothing that didn’t show so much skin, but Hell’a was one of those people that would always prioritize style over functionality. She looked over to us, stood up, and opened her arms almost like she was waiting for a hug. “Var, Drac, how marvelous to see you today.”
“Hell’a, you see us every day.” My words were dry and a bit sarcastic.
“That doesn’t change the fact I enjoy seeing you.”
“I guess.” I shrugged and sat down in my seat. “And before you ask, I did finish enchanting those doodads you wanted.” As per his usual perfect timing, Renny came into the hall with a box of enchanted gears and other mechanical devices. This had been going on for months now. Ever since I took the magical enhancement ability both, Hell’a and Alexander had been giving me all kinds of crazy devices with very odd enhancement requests, mostly things like when a certain cog hit another a sound would emanate from it, or for it to change its rotation speed every few seconds, a gear moving up or down a dowel or other random things. I had no idea why these two wanted such things, but they assured me that it was needed for the Red Empire. I wasn’t going to argue with them seeing as it gave me something to do during the day. Now that those first few weeks of the Burning World expansion ended, things got a lot more mundane. Where there were once battles with dragons and making alliances with Vampires, now there were briefings and hours of empty time with almost nothing to do. I managed to get out and actually see the world now that I was free from the confines of the item shop where I spent the first 15 years in AO, but sightseeing could only be fun for so long. And I was always kind of a homebody, preferring to sculpt or watch videos in my previous life back in the real.
“Wonderful.” Hell’a grabbed one of the ge
ars and spun it around in her fingers. “As always, your work is beyond amazing.”
“You say that every time,” Drac said as he slid past Hell’a and Renny to his seat, slumping into it with a soft thud.
“It is true every time,” Hell’a retorted. “She’s the master of enchantments.”
“But it’s the same thing every day. Next thing you are going to do is ask for more strange enhancements.” Drac shook his head just a bit.
“Well, Prince, today is different. I no longer require Var to help me with this. We are done with the magical enhancements.”
“Wait, what?” I groaned, “I actually enjoyed making those.”
“Don’t let my lack of need for them stop you from making enhanced items of your own. I mean, you did do an excellent job enhancing Lady Amber’s and Lady Ral’s armor.” Hell’a mused as she inspected another of the gears. She was right. I did have a lot of fun with Amber making her new armor. Amber forged it and I gave it its magical fire abilities and resistance, but that was a one-time thing. Well, a two-time thing, I did the same for Ral’s armor. “Renny, go take these to the portal, my man will take them from you,” Hell’a snapped.
“Right away, Mistress.” Renny moved towards the exit of the castle. I got to give him credit, that box he was holding was as big and probably as heavy as he was, but even with that, he was moving exceedingly quickly.
“Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go speak to Alexander,” Hell’a excused herself and slid through the back exit. I looked over to Drac and saw he had summoned a drink for himself. Today it looked as if he was indulging in a white wine. He held out the drink to me, “Would you like some?”
“No, thank you, I’m fine.” I held out my hand and spawned a glass in between my index and middle finger. I then opened a portal into the blood tank that had been set up in the basement. This was one of the more brilliant ideas I had come up with. Now that there were a lot of players in the Red Empire, I had to come up with quests for them, and one of them was to hunt down Alliance players and gather their blood with a contraption that the Vampires had designed. For every leader of blood brought to the castle or to the Blood Lands, the players would gain Experience Points and Gold. It was a popular quest and kept the Vampires from drinking Ns blood, and kept me fed in the most delicious drinks I have ever had. There was something about the players’ blood that just tasted so much better. The blood exited the portal in a slow gloopy stream into my large glass. Just before it reached the top of my glass I got rid of the portal and the flow of blood subsided. “Would you like some of this?” I asked, knowing full well he would decline.
“You know I never developed a taste for the stuff.” He clinked his glass of wine to my glass of blood. “To another boring day.”
“Yeah, to the new normal.” I sighed. We both took a drink and looked into the empty hall.
Chapter 2
The Impossible Island
I found myself wandering the halls; it had only been a few hours since Drac and I had had our drink and I was already bored out of my mind. Normally I would be enhancing those odd gears and whatnot, but now that was over and done with. What little I had to do during the day was now gone. I let out a sigh; you would think that being a queen of an evil empire would be entertaining, or at least fill the time, but you would be wrong. I put my hand behind my head as I aimlessly wandered. Well, at least there were a lot of interesting paintings for me to look at. I stopped at a painting that showed the attack on Stone Keep. It was enormous, four meters long by three meters high. I enjoyed this painting because there was a ton going on; it had a lot of detailed vignettes. One of Thaz, the Lamorea and guild leader of the Wild Ones, fighting that horrible Crimson King. Thaz was shooting an arrow at him with her crossbow and there was an arrow in his eye. I didn’t get to see this happen, but I wish I was there, the way Thaz tells it when she shot him in the eye he screamed about how unfair it was that archers could aim like that and rage quit the game. I then spotted Leon, my former Left Hand and trusted friend, attacking the Crimson Knights with his throwing knives. For a moment I missed Leon, who had become a spy in the Alliance, but just for a moment. I was still mad at Leon, his attitude in those days leading up to the attack on Stone Keep was awful and I was glad to be rid of him!
Predominantly positioned were a depiction of Amber, my Right Hand and close friend, fighting Arron, the Holy Knight of the Sun, and kicking his ass. Truth be told, that battle was a hard one and Amber and I had almost lost to Arron. Lucky for us, Tilln K’ran and my dragon Tundra had come in at the last second to save Amber and me. Tilln and Tundra were in the painting near the top, ready to strike.
I heard loud, metal footsteps echo down the stone hallway. I looked to find Amber approaching me, her helm was slung under her arm and she was smiling. “Var, shouldn't you be tinkering with gears and whatnot?”
“Yes, it’s odd seeing you here at this time of day.” Walking slightly behind Amber was Ral, my new Left Hand. Ral looked identical to my handmaid Xor; I had come to find out Tilln, Ral, Xor and Tyn were all identical quadruplets, but Ral’s hair was long and tied back in a bun. Then there was her clothing, or more to the point armor. Ral had armor just like Amber’s, but instead of the red fire enchantments, Ral’s armor had silver ice enchantments. I smiled at the two. “Well you see whatever Hell’a and Alexander were making is done, or at least my part is done. So now I have nothing to do.” I gave a shrug.
“Well, if you have a free day why don’t we do something?” Amber reached out and grabbed my hands. “We could do something crazy!”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. After what happened with the GM Victoria, I had been trying to stay on the GMs good side, and doing crazy things was an easy way to piss them off. That said, I was extremely bored. “Why the hell not?”
“Crazy?” Ral enquired, her eyes squinting at us. “What exactly does crazy mean?”
“Oh, when we first took over we did all kinds of crazy stuff. Like negotiating treaties with Undead, killing Banshees, all kinds of stuff.”
“And catching dragons!” a voice shouted at the three of us. I looked around for Thaz. She would lurk in the craziest places now that she dumped all her new skill points into stealth. Suddenly jumping down from the high ceiling, she fell next to us, her gray hair and fur flowing wildly behind her. “If we are doing something like hunting dragons again count me in!” Thaz gave us all a thumbs up.
“What makes you think you are invited?” Ral mused. “Also, how many times do I need to tell you to stop creeping around like that?!”
“Well, for one, because I’m part of the team! Well, that and I need some exciting quests to keep me sane. I maxed my level out ages ago so grinding for Experience is pointless. My gear is top of the line so no need to go looking for loot. My guild is all but self-sustaining so nothing to do there. And to top it all off I don’t have an alt account like most people, and I really don’t want to make one. All I have left is story stuff, I need this! Oh, and also I will follow you anywhere you go to join in the fun, I’m a freaking ninja now.” Ugh, leave it to a player to break role play; luckily I had been trained how to deal with just this kind of thing: ignore most of what she said. I looked at Thaz and frowned, “Fine, if you want to come along you can.”
“Hell yeah!” She thrust her arms in the air and spun around on one foot. “So what shenanigans are we going to be doing today?”
“Apparently, craziness,” Ral interjected, shrugging. Ral wasn’t one for adventure, she was very practical, that’s actually one of the reasons I picked her as my new Hand. With all the insane people I had around me it was nice to have a voice of reason now and then.
“Within reason,” I added. I really didn’t want this little day trip going off the rails.
“Oh, I got it!” Thaz had a wicked little look on her face. “Let’s go to Untouchable Island!”
“Thaz, I love you but no. Untouchable Island is unreachable, every person who has tried has failed.” Amber crossed her ar
ms and gave Thaz a look that one gives to a child. Amber was right, people could see the island and the lone building that sat in its center but every person who tried to reach it couldn't. They would get lost and find themselves back at the point they started. It was a mystery that seemed to drive the players of AO crazy. Us Ns didn’t much care, it was just another place we shouldn't think about.
“Oh, come on, we are the top echelon of the Red Empire, for Void sake we have the Red Queen with us.” Thaz motioned to me in an over-exaggerated way. “We can totally get to Untouchable Island. And if we can’t, we can stop by a bar and get drunk!”
“She has a point,” Ral added, looking to Amber. “Getting to the Untouchable Island, not getting drunk. What’s the harm in trying?”
“I guess we have a quest then,” I said out loud to clue in the System to assign Thaz a quest, but oddly one wasn’t assigned. Huh, I wonder why? Maybe because Thaz was max level? Who knows? The System did its own thing and I just had to live with whatever was going through its odd hivemind. “Well, should we head out?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” Thaz started bouncing up and down, squeaking her words.
“Come on.” I put my hand up and opened a portal. We all walked through, but where I was expecting to step onto land I found myself falling into the salty water of the ocean. “What in the hell?!” I yelped as the freezing water hit my skin.
“Cold!” Thaz shouted, desperately paddling, her fur clumping together and making her look so pathetic.
“VAR, HELP!” Amber shouted just before I saw her plunge into the water. Oh crap, Ral and Amber couldn't swim with their heavy armor. I looked over to Thaz. “Thaz, get Ral!” I dove under the water, and using my arms, legs and wings started swimming with all my might. Damn, it was dark down here, the only illumination being my flaming halo. Where was Amber?! I was desperately looking for the enchantments that made Amber’s armor glow. My lungs began to burn, but I could handle this seeing as I have suffocated and drowned quite a few times now, or more the sensation of those things anyway.