by Zara Teleg
I couldn’t stand the misery in the clubhouse, so I often took off on my bike with no destination, just clearing my thoughts. But no matter how far I rode, there was no escaping Maggie. She lived and breathed in everything I looked at, everything I touched. The scarring cross on my chest was my most sacred reminder. There was nowhere I could go to outrun the pain.
Even if I found it inside me to push the thoughts of Maggie away, there was still the grief of losing Voodoo. The club was a mess without him. Vicious was overwhelmed, and Viper was gone. I knew my father would have wanted me to step up, but before I even could, everything changed.
Vicious was on a tirade, so I did what I always did—hop on my bike and escape. I had been warned to stop disappearing on rides by myself. I should have listened. I was about twenty miles down the coast when I felt something wasn’t right. I peered in my mirror, nothing but a few cars. Then I heard them, the growl of multiple bikes racing down the highway. The vibrations grew as they got closer. My fingers tightened around the throttle, pushing my bike to go faster. But my old girl was no match for the crotch rockets that swiftly caught up to me, one flanking each side. Their Devil’s Damned patches had me even more determined to make it to the next exit. Only, I was in the middle of nowhere, with no place to go. The bike on my left zoomed ahead of me, cutting me off, and his buddy replaced him. At ninety miles per hour, I was surrounded. Fuck!
A finger pointed to the side. I would have kept going, but the guy to the left had a passenger with his pistol aimed straight at me. Roadkill or bullet? I couldn’t help thinking this would be my last ride. My carelessness would cost the Kings another man. I did as directed and pulled off to the side. Was there a chance they wanted to talk? The barrel aimed at me suggested not.
The most fearsome black bike I had ever seen stopped behind the others. Something was familiar about the man dismounting. His helmet blacked out his face. He strutted to where I stood, gun trained on me. Blood drained from my body when he pulled off his helmet, offering me a sinister grin.
“Is that any way to greet your brother? I mean former brother.” He laughed.
Lex’s eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles around them. His nose was red and inflamed, which made sense considering his affinity for coke.
What the fuck is happening?
“You look surprised to see me. Now, Venom, come on. You didn’t think all that went down was just a coincidence, did you? Only a few people knew Voodoo’s plans.”
My mind reeled like gears in a clock as the past week’s events flashed before my eyes, connecting the pieces. A rage fired in me as my body jerked into action, ready to rip him to shreds with my bare hands. I lunged at Lex, but my arms were secured before I reached him. A punch was sent to my gut, knocking the wind out of me. Lex moved into my face.
“Don’t look at me like that, boy. These plans were in the works long before your piece of shit father kicked me out. Kingston’s arms are long and his cash is plentiful. Who would turn down a chance at cash and running a crew of their own? Voodoo wasn’t going to offer me any of that. Taking him out was way easier after he betrayed me and sent me away like trash because of his precious prince.” I winced as his spit hit my face. Lex spread his arms wide, turning to the left and right. “Now I got it all.”
“You fucking bastard! You won’t get away with this. Kingston may have long arms, but the Kings will never rest until you’re nothing but in pieces scattered across Louisiana.” I could feel the veins on my neck straining as fury filled me, struggling against the men who held me.
“Boy, you are in no position to make threats.” He cocked his head, and the man with the gun pressed the barrel to my forehead. “You see, you took out Mannie, one of the Damned’s sergeants and brother to the club president. That makes you a wanted man.”
“It doesn’t matter what you do to me. Whatever you want, I won’t give it to you.” I continued to fight against the arms that held me.
“I knew you’d say that.” He shook his finger in my face. “Voodoo taught you, club first. You adhere to that, except,” Lex stroked his chin and looked at the sky as if he was thinking hard, “oh yes, except when it came to that pretty little girl.” Lex smiled wide as I fought, knowing he hit a nerve.
“Maggie, was it? The girl with the magic pussy. Or so I have been told.”
“Don’t ever even speak her name.” The clicking of the gun didn’t stop me from struggling harder, wanting to rip his face off.
“See, I knew we could find common ground for you to give me the assistance I need.” He patted my shoulder. “The Devil’s Damned was going to waste you, but I knew that was too easy a sacrifice. Now, taking away someone you care about, that was much better leverage to get that paperwork reversed. You don’t want to see that pretty little angel gutted the way you did to poor Mannie, right?”
Lex was a sadistic pig, but this was a new low even for him. Instead of fighting, I started to laugh. Lex’s eye twitched. He despised anyone laughing at him. So, I laughed harder.
“Wait, you thought I would give up my family’s legacy and let Voodoo to have died for nothing, for a girl I broke up with?” I laughed even harder to prove my point. “You’re as crazy as they say, Lex. You can blow my brains out right here. I got nothing to lose. My brothers will avenge my father and me. Your little club will be sorry they ever crossed the Kings.” He landed a blow to my jaw.
“Lex. You told Luce you had this, that he could count on you. You better fucking deliver,” the man to his right reminded Lex.
“Oh, don’t worry. This was plan A. What little Prince Venom doesn’t know is his pretty little angel is under our surveillance. She will be paying for his sins. On her back.” This time it was Lex who laughed. I didn’t know if he was bluffing. “And, wasting you now, that would be too kind. Where you’re headed, there’ll be no one to protect her. Let him go. I gave him a chance. Let the cards fall. He will regret this moment for the rest of his short life.”
Chapter 23
Magnolia
Two pink lines. Three tests were laid out before me—all of them the same. I placed my hands over my belly. I was carrying Vincent’s child.
I rushed over to the bowl again. This had been my morning ritual before class every day. I thought it was stress causing my period to be late. I thought my anxiety made me sick. Never had I imagined this was why I felt so ill for the past few weeks.
I was getting good grades despite the deep depression I was trying to crawl my way out of. I couldn’t even begin to think about how this was going to affect my future. My parents were going to flip. Who was I going to say was the father? I heaved again at the thought. Flushing the toilet, I walked to the sink and splashed water over my face. I needed to go to the chapel. I had missed the daily rosary yesterday due to morning sickness.
I was the only one other than the doctor from the clinic who knew my secret. My belly looked bloated, but due to all the throwing up, at fifteen weeks, I had only gained a few pounds. The prenatal vitamins did nothing to help the nausea.
I hadn’t missed a beat with classes, though. I was excited to see my final grades before the holiday break, but I dreaded going home. I knew I’d have to face my family and tell them the truth. I could not hide it any longer. I was all packed up and said goodbye to my mostly absent roommate.
“Frederick! Viola!” I ran with my bags to the old truck, hugging them both.
“Magnolia, I am so happy to see you.” The embrace was longer than most, but it felt like such a relief to know they were here and not one of my actual family members.
“Give me those.” Frederick took my bags, piling them safely in the back.
Viola passed me my favorite—one of her turkey sandwiches and a container of her homemade coleslaw.
“Thanks.” I unwrapped it, excited to dive in, but one whiff of turkey had me wrapping it back up.”
“You don’t want it? Aren’t you hungry?’
“Yes, but I, uh, I just can’t eat turkey right no
w.” The thought of it made me want to puke.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I would have made you something else, but the only other things I brought were ham, and you hate ham.”
Frederick was opening his ham sandwich, and my stomach growled.
“Ham sounds amazing…”
Viola and Frederick looked at each other as we traded sandwiches. I bit off a huge bite. With my mouth so full, I could barely speak. “Do you have any of those hot pickles?” Again the two looked at each other.
“School has changed you.” Viola laughed, passing me back her homemade jalapeño pickles. “You’d think you were having a baby.” She laughed some more.
My eyes widened as I choked on the enormous mouthful. I coughed and jugged down some of Viola’s lemonade. “Sorry, wrong pipe.”
I slept most of the way back. Another thing I had added to the growing list of things I was going through: naps. I couldn’t make it through the day without a nap. I found myself not being able to stay up past nine. I studied until my eyes crossed and I was drooling on my textbooks.
Daniel was also home from break. It had been months since I saw or heard from my brother. Him being home would take any and all attention off me. Mother doted on Daniel, and daddy wanted him to be his clone. He stopped to see friends before going home. Friends were something I missed. Over the summer, I had those. Sissy, Shannon, and I were inseparable for a few weeks there, and I missed it so much. It was hard now to think of anything but Vincent with my slowly growing belly.
“Wow, you look like you put on the freshman ten.” My mother pointed to my slightly bloated middle. “Have you been drinking beer?” My mother crossed her arms. I was surprised she could tell in the dress I wore. Sure, it was not as loose as it used to be, but I certainly did not look pregnant.
I took my seat at the enormous table and waited for my brother to arrive. Dinner was being served in the main hall, which was already decorated for Christmas. Every inch of the house looked as if it was from the Southern Living holiday edition. There were enough lights inside and out to see it from heaven.
“Daniel.” I smiled, wishing he was the type I could embrace, but he inherited the family frigidness. I was lucky to have Viola and Frederick to show me affection.
“Hey, Magnolia.” He reached out and ruffled my hair. My brother smiled and laughed. Those were things he didn’t often do.
We spent most of the dinner listening to my mother’s stories, and Daniel added some of his from school. I began to pay more attention when my brother began speaking about a girl I knew from the country club.
“So little Amelia Cranson is not so little anymore,” he said, scooping a large heaping of roasted potatoes on his fork.
“Oh?” My mother set down her wine, intrigued by gossip.
“Oh yeah. Remember when she blew me off last year? Well, Little Miss Innocent did me a favor. You’re not going to believe it. She hooked up with one of the pool hands over the summer, and she’s pregnant.”
I could feel every cell in my body clinging together as I watched my mother’s face morph. “My God, how could Stanley and Wynona let that happen? I knew that girl was a hussy. She always sang her best in church and volunteered at all the fundraisers, but I knew there was a devil in that girl.” The potatoes I had just eaten were threatening to come back up.
“Well, what are they doing about it?” My mother’s voice had climbed two octaves.
“No one was supposed to know. They’re making Amelia give the baby up. I was with Sara, her brother’s girlfriend, and she told me. Apparently, she thought if she was far enough along, they would let her raise the baby, but they threatened not only to cut her off but also to deport the guy if she disagreed. Sara said she’s on lockdown in her own house.”
“Serves her right—sinner.” My mother’s tone was ice cold.
I reached for the water, but my hand began to tremble and I knocked over the full glass, flooding the tablecloth.
“Magnolia,” my mother scolded. “Why are you such a klutz?”
“May I be excused?”
I didn’t wait for an answer. I took off from the table and zoomed up the steps to my room, slamming the door before clutching my pink bunny and crying my eyes out. What was I going to do? Telling them the truth was not an option. I could never bring a child into this family. I didn’t even want to be a part of this family.
I spent the next few days making a plan. I was going back to school, and I wouldn’t come home. There was no way the life that Vincent and I created was sinful. I loved him, and he loved me…at least he did then. We did not need a stupid piece of paper to decide how we felt. I might be young, but I wasn’t stupid. I wished I could talk to him.
My mother didn’t appreciate my outburst and refused to even acknowledge I was there. The most she said to me before leaving was that she hoped I would make time to see Spencer because he was my future, unlike college. She was too busy getting ready for her Vail holiday vacation. I should’ve spent the holiday break at school. The only redeemable parts of being home were Viola and Frederick.
I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, praying for an answer, trying to heal my relationship with God. I had not been as devout as I had been in the past.
I began thinking that maybe I was being too hard on my parents. Maybe I was just experiencing a case of raging, out-of-control hormones, and that I needed to try harder to see reason, to consider my options, have a realistic perspective.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Magnolia, can I come in?” My father peeked his head around the door.
“Sure, come in.” I put my bunny in front of my belly and scooted back on the bed.
“You feeling okay? We haven’t seen much of you since you have been home.”
Sure, now he acted like he cared. I grew up practically begging for his attention and he never had time. Gifts bought by his secretary did not make up for it. Why all of a sudden did he want to show any interest in my life? Well, that was just too bad because they couldn’t just tell me what to do anymore. They couldn’t push me around anymore like they’d done my whole life.
“I have a tough semester coming up. I wanted to get a head start on studying.” Liar.
“I see. You know, you can always change your mind and go for something easy. Your mother doesn’t need a degree in medicine to entertain and organize fundraisers. Someday you will be raising children and following in her footsteps. You don’t need to waste time on any of this.”
And there it was—his plan.
Was he kidding me? Follow in her footsteps? That statement alone made me want to vomit. My emotions had me answering in a way I wouldn’t normally speak to my father.
“Daddy, you know that’s your plan, not mine, right? I want to dedicate my life to helping others. I want to spend time in the trenches, maybe join the Peace Corps. I want to have my life mean something. I’m not just marrying who you think would be good for your image.”
“What has gotten into you? Don’t let your mother hear you say that.” He shook his head. “Look, I get it. I didn’t grow up thinking I would be in the oil business. My family was dirt poor, and your grandparents hated the idea of me working for Mr. Engel. They wanted me to have a good life, but they thought of money as the Devil’s temptation. I was tired of being poor. I learned everything I could. I worked long and hard to get here. I hope you don’t throw it away to spite your mother.”
A question burned in me. I had to be bold enough to ask. “Do you love her?”
My father looked taken aback. “Of course. Why would you even ask that?”
“Daddy, I mean, are you in love with her? Do you think of Mother all the time? Does your heart hurt when you are not with her?”
“Where is this nonsense coming from?” He rubbed his temple. “Magnolia, that’s a fantasy. No one really feels that way. We marry who makes sense. Passion fades, and love does not pay the bills. Your grandparents were proof of that.”
“I don’t believe that.” I sat up
straight. “I think love can give you the courage to conquer anything.”
“Wait a minute, is this about the boy you said you met this summer?”
I couldn’t believe he remembered.
“I-I, no.” My eyes diverted to my bunny. I couldn’t look my father in the eye and lie.
“Magnolia?” His arms crossed. “Magnolia, it’s okay. Everyone is allowed young love. And I assume he is not someone you feel we would approve of if you haven’t made an attempt to convince us to let you see him.”
“The list of people you would approve of is short. And no, his family does not come from money, but they do treat each other like a family, not some pawns in a game of chess.” My eyes finally found his.
“Daddy, I love him. But it doesn’t matter now. It’s over.”
“Magnolia, you’ll get over a broken heart, but life decisions you can’t take back are harder to get over. You need to use your head. You need to dig deep and remember what you were taught in all those years of Catholic school I paid for.”
“I was taught not to judge others by what they do or don’t have.” I raised an eyebrow.
“I can see I’m not getting through to you. I hope you don’t learn the hard way. I’m sorry you are hurting. I stopped in to give you your Christmas present early since we will be away. Maybe some retail therapy will make you feel better.” He reached inside his jacket and pulled out an envelope.