She wanted answers, but the heat in those dark eyes didn’t give her any information. No, those eyes were only promising more of the same and she wasn’t sure she could handle more.
His fingers tangled with hers and he turned her hand over, his rough thumb swirling patterns on a patch of skin that she’d never known could be an erogenous zone until this moment. It was so surprising that she couldn’t stop her toes from curling, startled by the sensations that were making her insides melt with desire. A completely inappropriate desire!
“I think you need to understand something, my beauty,” he murmured, his fingers still caressing her arm. “I would like to make love to you by the end of this day. I would also enjoy getting to know you a little better because I sense a softness within you, a vulnerability that I like and do not want to destroy. But I feel a need in you and you can rest assured that it is just as strong in me. So, don’t doubt that we are going to explore this together.” He paused, his eyes taking in her soft mouth, her vulnerable, dark eyes and he leaned back slightly. “The last time we were together, I could feel your eyes on me when you thought I wasn’t looking, felt the burning when we touched. Please, Cassandra, give us this time to explore this together.”
She wanted to tell him to go to hell. Instead, her body tensed, waiting for more of his touch. The ice around her heart that had hardened all those years ago, melted slightly when he told her that he sensed her vulnerability. At the same time, her stomach quivered with the shame from those memories from so long ago and a deep ache that had never fully healed. She’d been wounded by harsh, insensitive words and a terrifying moment. That feminine side of her, the part that might have agreed to his suggestion…she’d hidden that part of herself for too long.
“I can’t,” she whispered, even while her hands curled into fists to keep herself from reaching out to touch him. “I can’t do any of that.” Why was she pleading with him? Why was she so desperate for him to understand? What power did he have over her that she couldn’t just slap his face and demand that he leave her alone?
His eyes searched hers, moving downwards, noticing the abhorrent sports bra that flattened her full, ripe breasts against her chest. Cassy tried to hide her body’s reaction, but her breathing was labored as she fought to control her need.
“You feel it, don’t you?” he asked gently.
She almost cried out when his hands smoothed against her fingers, causing her fingers to release the tight grip she had on the comforter. She wanted to tell him why she needed to maintain that hold, because otherwise, she was afraid her hands might…they would…touch him, explore him. That could not happen!
But even as she thought that, her back arched slightly, feeling his breath against her neck. “Please,” she told him. Although Cassy wasn’t sure if she was begging him to stop or to give her more of those delicious, fluttering kisses along her neck.
Never had she felt this way towards a man. She’d thought she’d shut down that part of herself. So long ago, as her body had matured, the boys had definitely noticed. The names the others had called her had hurt deeply. She’d learned to suppress this need, to ignore all of her desires because everyone considered her to be a bad person. In her mind, everything about sexuality was wrong and sinful. She’d endured too many hours of taunting, too many cruel comments from her classmates, to think anything else.
And now this man, with the challenge and the lust in his eyes, was bringing all of that back. He was showing her that she was a woman again.
Suddenly, instead of the passion of moments before, those horrible memories surfaced and she pulled back, her eyes startled, horrified that she could…that she might want to…!
All of the unpleasant memories came rushing back. The embarrassing way her body swayed when she moved without the tight sports bra. Or the way the boys in high school had watched her breasts with salacious glee while the girls in school had looked on with malevolent fury even as Cassy had pressed her books against her chest, trying to hide her figure. Nothing had worked. They’d still stared and, to this day, Cassy was self-conscious of her breasts. And now, she was painfully embarrassed at the way he could make her feel, of the thoughts surging through her mind, and the need making her body feel things that were…wrong.
“Please,” she whispered again, but this time, it wasn’t a plea for him to continue. This time, it was a plea to stop. Cassy closed her eyes as that dreadful need almost choked her.
Pushing off the bed, he looked down at her and Cassy was painfully aware of her awkward position, curled up on the enormous bed, nearly naked and completely defenseless. She pulled the sheet higher to cover herself, her only defense against those vicious memories and her current shame that her body would betray her in such a way. Relieved, she lifted her eyes, looking right back at him with gratitude that he hadn’t pushed her further.
Nasir saw that shame and knew that something had shifted inside of her. Something dark and he didn’t like it. He stepped back again, giving her more space.
The legal side of Cassandra was a powerful woman. He’d watched her in the meeting back in London, repeatedly impressed with her knowledge of international law, the intricacies of various challenges. He’s also appreciated her suggestions on how to overcome those challenges.
But now, seeing that haunted look in her eyes, Nasir knew that Cassandra was complicated. There was something holding her back. He had to respect that. He wanted to banish the bad memories and replace them with good ones, but before he could do that, he had to understand her.
“There are clothes in the closet for you,” he said, his voice even huskier than before. “Take your time getting ready and join me downstairs. We will meet in a half hour.”
Relief surged through Cassy. She watched as he walked away, distracted momentarily from her pain by the strength in his shoulders and arms. The sweater displayed his muscles better than the gorgeous suit he’d worn back in London and she didn’t like that she noticed these details.
She pulled her eyes away as he walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him quietly.
Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself down, wanting to be professional and sophisticated but knowing that she’d destroyed that image completely with her panic a few moments ago.
She didn’t laugh at the “take your time” in one breath followed by a time limit with his next words. Normally, a contradiction like that would amuse her but right now, she was too nervous and too confused by her reaction to his presence and his touch to find humor in anything.
Using the techniques she’d learned as a teenager to tune out the cruelly taunting memories, she eventually calmed her racing heart. It was tenuous, but eventually, she found her balance again.
Dragging her legs over the side of the bed, she wrapped the sheet around herself toga style. Peering into the closet, she found a complete wardrobe that included jeans, sweaters, tops, suits, even dresses. What in the world? All of the clothes still had tags on them, but no prices. That was curious.
Ignoring the clothes, she shook her head as she moved to the shower, wishing she could understand this man. He was so out of her league! Why was he even interested in her? He had to have women throwing themselves at him all the time. Why would he waste his time on a woman who had a screw loose because of a ridiculous childhood trauma that she should have gotten over a long time ago?
She dated nice, comfortable men. Perhaps they were a little bit…wimpy. But those were the types of men that she preferred. They were safer, she told herself as she used the peaches and cream shampoo on her hair, relaxing as the scent surrounded her and she diligently tried to wash away the fatigue and confusion.
After drying off, she stepped out of the bathroom and looked around nervously, anxious that Nasir would return uninvited. She didn’t want to risk it, so she grabbed a pair of jeans and the first sweater that she touched, not even bothering to see if she liked the color and style or not. Cassy didn’t care if she looked good or if the color was hideo
us with her skin tone. She was getting out of this place and finding a hotel room where she could put a bit of space between herself and the man that stirred unwanted sensations. Sure, that was a cowardly reaction. But Cassy didn’t care. Not a whit! She was strong and competent all the time. This, she told herself, was a perfect day to retreat!
She’d learned the hard way that respect was the most important thing in a person’s life. She thought about that for a moment, pulling a tube of lipstick out of her purse. Perhaps chocolate might rank higher, she corrected as she carefully applied the cheerful color. Or maybe a close second. Actually, the respect vs. chocolate ranking - that was a moment by moment issue, she decided.
Rolling her eyes and tossing the jeans and sweater onto the bed, Cassy hunted through the drawers, hoping to find underwear. Of course, when she finally found a pair of panties, she was struck dumb by the lacy things that he thought would pass for underwear. Holding up a delicate scrap by one finger, she stared at it, not even sure how to put it on. This lace…it looked…complicated!
Tossing the…whatever…back into the drawer, she picked up another. And another and another until she came up with something that looked like it might actually cover her bottom more thoroughly. Those thong things?! Nope! There’s no way those could be comfortable. And anyone who tried to convince her that they could be was obviously lying!
The underwear she’d chosen looked decadent. And when she pulled it on, she actually turned to look at herself from behind in the mirror, startled by how her body looked. Especially her butt! “Wow!” she whispered.
“I agree,” a deep voice said from the doorway.
Cassy spun around, grabbing the jeans from the bed and holding them in front of her like a shield. “What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded furiously, her face turning a painful shade of red. “Get out!”
Nasir chuckled and moved closer, surveying her adorable backside in the mirror behind her that she’d obviously forgotten about. “The matching bra would look even more amazing on you,” he suggested. He saw the shift in her breathing, the way her eyes changed, and the subtle but oh-so-delicious change in her body language. Yes, she was affected. Embarrassed, confused, and innocent, but still affected. She didn’t want to be, which was a curiosity, but he would figure out why eventually. He was good at eliminating obstacles.
He sifted through the dozens of bras and lifted out the one that matched her underwear. The whole time, Cassy sputtered with outrage.
“Here,” he urged. “Wear the matching bra and I’ll meet you downstairs for lunch.”
She grabbed the scrap of material that was dangling from his fingers and glared at him. “Just get out!” she hissed, only to receive an amused chuckle in response.
“As you wish,” he finally said.
When the door closed, thankfully with him on the other side, she huffed as she tossed the tiny bra away. There was no way a bra like that could hold her in comfortably. She was too big-breasted to deal with a stupid scrap of lace like that. She grabbed her sports bra and snapped it into place, feeling better now that she was adequately covered, pulled in, and no jiggling could possibly take place. Not with this puppy, she thought grimly, pulling the sweater over her head.
Finally dressed, Cassy squared her shoulders as she pulled open the door. She’d show him choices, she thought furiously.
“Where is he?” Cassy demanded of a passing servant when she reached the bottom of an enormous, curving staircase. She refused to be intimidated by the staff members rushing around or the gigantic, crystal chandelier that hung in the foyer. A foyer that was too huge for any reasonable person. This entire home was too big and ostentatious! It screamed wealth and elegance, but seriously, why did one person need this much space and this many staff members?! It was ridiculous and only fueled her anger, giving her another reason for hating the man, other than the fact that he could make her want things that she didn’t want to want.
The servant jumped in surprise and Cassy took a deep breath. “I apologize,” she said with a calm she didn’t feel, trying to force a smile but, going by the new expression on the servant’s face, her smile was more ferocious than Cassy had intended. “I’m trying to find His Highness. Can you point me in the right direction?” she asked.
The servant was still wary and pointed to the left. “He’s in the dining room, ma’am,” she said, backing up a step.
“Thank you very much,” Cassy replied, trying for a calm, professional expression.
Turning in the direction indicated, Cassy pushed open the doors, ignoring the two guards that were standing sentry outside the room. When she saw her target sitting at an intimate looking table, casually reading a newspaper, her temper flared. She fought to keep her temper under control, but he’d invaded her space without any sort of apology. And she suspected that he’d manipulated this whole trip to Zurich just to get to her.
“I will shoot you if you don’t…” she didn’t get a chance to finish. The two men who had been standing guard immediately grabbed her arms. An abrupt command halted their actions.
“What…?!” she gasped. She was released and Cassy turned, glaring at the two guards who were moving back reluctantly. Both still tense and ready to tackle her to the ground.
That’s when she realized what she’d just said, or more specifically, threatened. One didn’t voice a threat to shoot a man of Nasir’s position and authority! “Sorry,” she muttered with increasing irritation laced with contrition. “Bad choice of words.”
Nasir laughed softly as he moved closer. “Cassy, do you even know how to shoot a gun?” he asked.
He was on his feet, towering over her. Waiting for an answer.
Unnerved, Cassy shifted on her feet nervously. He’d completely called her bluff, ignoring the point of the threat. “Well, no. Not really,” she finally replied, crossing her arms over her breasts and glaring up at him defiantly.
Nasir chuckled and reached around her, putting a hand to the small of her back to lead her over to the table. “We’ll have to fix that,” he pulled out a chair for her.
“Fix what?” she asked, staring at all the food as her stomach grumbled with hunger. She suddenly realized how famished she was. Cassy had skipped both lunch and dinner the previous day, apparently having slept through both meals because of time zone changes and exhaustion.
“I will teach you how to shoot,” he explained.
Cassy’s mouth fell open. She wondered if he was making fun of her. But the serious expression told her that he wasn’t. “Why would you offer to teach me how to shoot a gun?” she asked, her tone softening. No man had ever offered to help her before. Well, except her father. He’d been her main champion, her cheerleader, and the shoulder she’d cried on when the vicious taunts became too much.
Why would he, this powerful, intimidating, and most-likely horrendously busy man, offer to teach her anything? Much less teach her how to shoot moments after she’d just threatened to shoot him? A threat she was ashamed of now. Violence was never the answer and she shouldn’t have even thought it, much less said it out loud.
What was it about this man that continuously threw her off guard? Most men were too busy trying to get her into bed. None had ever offered to help her with anything.
Granted, something about him told her that he wasn’t the same as the men in her past. She couldn’t quite define it, but he was…different. Definitely more powerful, but that wasn’t exactly what was bothering her so profoundly.
Of course, his physical appearance was dramatically different from all the men she’d known. In her experience, men like Nasir were portrayed as killers, bad boys. But even so, as she watched him across the table as he conversed with someone who had brought him a report, there was something different about him. It was definitely the aura of power that surrounded him. But more than that. There was a harshness that he wore, almost like a protective barrier. Or maybe she was just romanticizing his persona in order to protect herself.
When the
aide disappeared, he looked up as he sipped his coffee. “Did you have a good flight?” he asked.
A servant appeared with a silver coffee urn and poured her a cup of coffee. Cassy waited impatiently until they were alone again, not bothering to answer his question. She doubted he cared one way or another. And besides, she’d slept almost the entire trip. She remembered the takeoff and landing. Other than that, the flight was a blur.
“Why would you offer to teach me how to shoot?” she repeated.
Nasir looked at the lovely woman over the rim of his coffee cup, trying to understand her. She was a beautiful woman with a figure that could be extraordinary, if she would just eliminate that horrendous sports bra that she’d put back on instead of the pretty lace bra he’d suggested.
And why was she so skeptical of his offer? It wasn’t just the offer to teach her how to shoot a weapon. He suspected that there was a much deeper question running through her subconscious.
He considered the various ways he could answer and reassure her. Nasir could tell her the truth, that she would need to know how to defend herself in the event that she needed to protect herself. In the time since he’d left her in the guest bedroom, he’d decided that he wanted Cassandra to be his wife, but he knew she wasn’t ready to hear that. Besides, he didn’t want to worry her. Not at this stage.
He wasn’t going to explain that to her though. He didn’t want his Cassy to be concerned about her safety.
Besides, he would protect his woman.
That didn’t mean she shouldn’t learn basic self-defense. Furthermore, from the background check his security team had done, he knew that she’d spent a great deal of time studying to become a lawyer and not enough time learning to be a woman.
Unexpectedly Expecting the Sheik's Baby (The Ladies of The Burling School Book 6) Page 5