She knew she should be happy for his commitment to go if he had the chance. She knew she would be better off, and he’d be better off too, thinking only in terms of their careers. Anything more was out of the question for the foreseeable future. And yet, she missed him already. She nestled next to him a little extra tightly as she lay going to sleep.
Things had changed. She could sense there were more changes to come. There was a pit inside her that was filling with dread at the thoughts of him leaving. She was going to have to start dealing with her feelings for him or brush them aside, and as she lay there she realized she feared the brushing aside more than anything.
SECTION 2
CHAPTER 10
Sol 13; Mission time - 10:19
Days had passed in quarantine. Hanson was still in the lab with Mara and Reese, standing at the doorway and speaking with his crew. Mara watched him shouting at them through the doorway. His waving arm gestures had become more and more animated with each minute. She could hear his voice rising louder, trying to speak with them between the laboratory and the Zephyr. As they spoke, the men on the other side of the door were becoming just as animated. She sensed trouble.
She began to walk toward them to see what was happening, but then Hanson came stomping into the common area toward her. She stepped aside to avoid being run over by him.
“I’m taking a lot of shit over this,” she heard him say.
“Excuse me?” she replied.
Hanson turned to her. “This is your fault,” he said. “You cut your finger during that quake, now I’m in quarantine, and I’m useless to my crew.”
Mara was frozen, disbelieving what she had heard. “You think this is my fault?” she asked. She let a scoff of a breath out in his direction. “I’ll have you know I follow the safety routines a lot better than you do. Your crew treats their safety like it’s a joke.”
Hanson shook his head. “You follow the safety routines, but you aren’t dependable in an emergency.”
Mara gasped, certain she had heard him wrong, but he continued.
“You walked away from Reese during that first quake, then you completely checked out in the lab during the last one. You even flung your tainted blood all over the wall in there… You can’t handle pressure. It’s probably why you cut your thumb in the first place,” he told her.
Mara felt her teeth clench together. “You think I lose my head under pressure? That’s great… The person who almost blew me out of an airlock is telling me I need to be safer.”
“You could do a better job keeping your head on straight,” he said.
Mara could feel her nostrils flaring like a bull, and her face was becoming hot. “Your crew treats this mission like it’s a joke,” she said to him. “Not everything is fun and games all the time.”
Hanson almost laughed. “I’m surprised you even know what fun looks like,” he said. A look of mild revulsion crossed his face. “I’ll have you know my crew can count on me,” he said as he was pointing at his chest.
“That’s great, a miner is lecturing NASA about safety.”
“Who got us stuck in here again?” he quickly retorted.
Mara couldn’t imagine that he’d hold her responsible for their situation. She looked at him with pure animosity. “For all we know those quakes are because of some mistake you made drilling,” she replied.
Hanson swiped his hand across the back of a nearby chair when she said it, and it was sent spinning in place. She didn’t care. She was astounded at the accusations she was receiving. She sat herself down near her lab equipment, hoping to end the pointless bickering.
Hanson began pacing the room. She saw his face red and flushed and his jaw clenched tight. She worried about what he might do. She could see him mumbling through pursed lips.
“Pacing around isn’t going to make the time go any faster,” she said, hoping to get him to sit.
“What else can I do?” he said. “I should be with my crew.”
“Well it’s going to be a long two weeks in here if you don’t sit down.”
He paced back and forth, and she watched him as the anger rinsed from his body. Several minutes passed. When he was finally ready to sit, he grabbed a chair not far from her and sat down. His head was low, and his hands were held loosely over the armrests. She watched him silently for several minutes. Then he lifted his head to her and spoke in a softer tone.
“I’ve been taking care of my crew since I was first-mate,” he said. “Our rig has one of the best safety records. Fewest accidents, fewest lost hours.” His words trailed off. “This is a serious mark on our record. These quakes are a serious mark against us.”
Mara barely acknowledged him, choosing instead to try and ignore him, but he continued.
“This is unpredictable work. Things are far from routine,” he said. “There are too many things you can’t prepare for. You can minimize the risk, but it’s always there. Always ready to pop up when you least expect it. It’s just the way it is out here.”
She watched him recalling the many dangerous situations he’d been in. She wondered what point he was trying to make. Then he looked at her again.
“It’s not the danger that’s the issue here though. It’s how you are reacting to it,” he stated.
Mara sat up in her seat when she realized he was still talking to her. “You’re still trying to blame me?”
Hanson pursed his lips and let out a breath of resignation. “I’ve seen too many bad things happen to my guys,” he started again. “And I’m not going to let you do anything to hurt them,” he said.
Mara shook her head. “Why would you think I want anything bad to happen to your men?” she asked.
“You don’t… but you’re unpredictable. And you push people even though it’s not your ass on the line,” he told her.
“Not my ass on the line? I’m here just like you are. And I expect us to follow regulations,” Mara said. “Why do you think I am so hard on you at the drill chamber? It’s a lot better than what I’ve seen out of your crew.”
Hanson sat back, dismissing her while shaking his head. He took another deep breath. Then he leaned forward at her.
“You know, I’m gonna have my own rig soon, and I’m gonna treat my crew better than this… Take better care of them. No avoidable risks. We’re going to do things right. And there won’t be any unnecessary NASA missions,” he said, still looking at her.
“Unnecessary NASA missions? We just made the most incredible discovery in human history,” she said, pointing down below.
“And we’re taking bigger risks than we should to do it,” he countered.
“To find extra-terrestrial life? An entirely new ecosystem?” Mara began to feel herself becoming angry again. “It’s worth a little risk, isn’t it?”
“Now who’s thinking about safety?” Hanson said. “You know, you’re no different than Astromine,” he said with a scoff of angry breath. “You’re willing to risk our lives to get whatever you want. My rig is all torn up over there, and I’m tired of seeing my friends get hurt. We’re not even mining anything!”
Mara drew in a deep breath. She couldn’t believe that her judgement was being questioned, but she sensed she was losing the argument. There was a sincerity in Hanson’s voice that could not be dismissed. She knew that he had made a valid point, but she desperately hoped to not have to acknowledge it.
She turned her head slightly to him. “You really are concerned about your safety record?” she asked.
Hanson lifted his head toward her with an offended expression. “Of course,” he said. “It’s my job to be worried about the crew. Out here, the more risk we take usually means the more money we make.” He shook his head. “Easy for them to make that call from corporate, in their comfortable offices, and their comfortable chairs…”
Mara was surprised. To hear such a comment from a pers
on who worked in an industry that she had assumed was full of eager prospectors and natural risk-takers was unexpected.
“I thought Johan makes the decisions for your crew?” she asked. “Doesn’t he look after you?”
“Johan knows the regs,” Hanson said. “But they don’t matter much when there’s a score to dig up.”
Mara sat back, suddenly realizing she had never heard this side to the mining industry before — never heard directly from the miners themselves.
“Then why don’t you do something about it?” she suggested. “You’re second in command. Stand up to Astromine. Tell them to follow the regulations better.”
Hanson almost laughed, and he looked down at the floor, as if her suggestion was impossible, or naive.
Mara persisted. “Get the miners on board with you. Stand up to them. You and the crew,” she said.
Hanson slouched in his chair and his head remained down. He appeared sullen and defeated. “Johan would never stand for that,” he said. “He’d just replace us.”
His hands went upon his cheeks, and he dragged them down over his face while he exhaled, stretching himself into an unrecognizable distortion of worry and stress. He dropped his hands limply to his sides. He looked as though the weight of the entire mission was coming down upon him.
Mara sat nervously. Hanson’s eyes seemed to be picturing things that had happened to him; friends that were gone. He swallowed hard, and she saw that his eyes had become watery. She wondered what he could be thinking about, or if there had been an incident of some kind. She wondered if he’d lost someone that he’d been friends with or been close to.
“You know we’ve been cramped up here for days now,” she said. “Maybe we’re venting.”
Hanson gave a subtle acknowledgment with his head and the slightest smile, dismissing her comment. It had temporarily made the room more palatable, at least.
Then he took a deep breath, and his shoulders slouched down into the chair again. “You know, the truth is, we all know these could be our last days out here. There’s a line you grow used to, and before long you’re flirting with it for fun. Somehow, it helps… I think, knowing its there… Helps just knowing you are still alive.” He looked up at Mara, as if he had just realized she was still listening. “Probably doesn’t make much sense to a scientist,” he said.
She furrowed her brow. “Is it really that bad?” she asked him, trying to smile. “It looks more like you guys are having a party out here to me.”
Hanson let out a brief exhale of air as he looked at her. He licked his lips, and then reached over to his arm and he began to pull on his sleeve. He took it up to his shoulder.
Mara watched as his sleeve was slowly rolled back. She saw that he was scarred from his wrist to elbow. Deep pits had formed in his flesh where his muscle had been damaged. His skin was rubbery and discolored where the flesh had been torn away.
Mara looked at his arm, partly disgusted, and acutely aware of the reality of his daily work and the risks he was taking just to be out here.
“Does this look like a party?” he asked. “You have to be ready for this at any time,” he said solemnly. “I got these scars when I was forced to dig some gold nuggets out of a crevice on Ceres,” he said. “Whole thing collapsed on my arm. We were lucky we saved it.”
Mara looked at the disfigured tissue for only as long as she could. When she couldn’t stand it any longer she defiantly looked away, like she could resist acknowledging his point, or avoid the mortified expression on her face. Hanson rolled his sleeve down.
“You know, I’m not getting any work done,” she told him. “I guess I’ll get started on my samples.” She stood up, and she saw him nodding at her, but his mind was lost in his memories, or to some other place.
She looked down at him. She could see the fear in his eyes as he was recalling whatever incident had caused the scars. His hands were shaking.
She thought about the assumptions she had made about Hanson; how she had thought of him as careless and greedy. She remembered what she had said; how he hadn’t taken his crew’s safety seriously — and it was all a party to him. Her head dropped, and she let out a conciliatory breath of air. “I shouldn’t have said this was all a big party for you,” she told him.
Hanson looked up at her with a slightly stunned expression, but didn’t say anything. She looked at him for a moment, then turned away without giving him a chance to speak. She walked toward the lab so she could continue her work, and she left him there sitting alone.
Sol 13; Mission time - 16:19
“We still cannot launch,” Dr. Aman was saying to Mara and Reese, who remained in the quarantined area. “Systems are mostly up, but we simply do not have the water or fuel we need for the return trip.”
“Hanson says the Zephyr is topping their tanks first. He told me Johan will make sure his crew has what they need before we get anything,” Mara told him. “He also says that if there is an emergency, we are welcome to leave with him as his guests on the Zephyr.”
Reese rolled her eyes for the others to see.
“This is a real problem, Aman,” Mara commented. “We’re at their complete mercy,” she said.
Dr. Aman shook his head slightly. “Do you have everything you need otherwise?” he asked.
“The lab is close to being in order. Hanson fixed the hydraulics and put most of the equipment back together. Reese has the support systems and monitors stabilized, and she cut the power to some of the overloaded panels” Mara told him. “It’s cramped is all.”
“Standard quarantine is two weeks. You aren’t coming out unless you produce a clean blood sample,” Dr. Aman said.
Mara nodded.
“How about the update Stenner asked you to record?”
“The recording to Earth? I can’t do it,” she told him. “I can’t send a message about what we aren’t finding here. It’s just wrong.”
Dr. Aman appeared to understand. “Mara, people at home are expecting updates. You have to give them something, even if you have to make it up.”
“I came all the way out here, and you want me to lie about what we’re not finding…” Mara complained.
“You can simply say that you are exploring the sub-surface for more of the creatures and you have not quite found any of them” he told her. “They will be just as suspicious if you do not send anything.”
“But they’ll want video… people want to see what is down there. What am I supposed to do about that?”
“Can you substitute some footage from the descent that does not give it away? I am sure you can find something,” Dr. Aman continued.
“It would be better to just show them,” she replied.
“That is a risk we do not want to take right now, Mara. You are not thinking this through… Tell the people back home the quakes have disrupted your research… but do not tell them how dangerous it is. Anything you can do to avoid having to mention the diamonds,” he said.
“You’re a brilliant liar,” Mara responded with a look of disappointment.
Dr. Aman breathed deeply and sighed, feigning exhaustion on the subject. “How are the specimens doing?” he asked.
“They’re fine. Better than fine… But they are going through some kind of… I don’t know. It’s like they are meditating or something. They won’t stop flashing. It’s all they do.”
The doctor had a curious look on his face.
“I know it sounds weird, but the creatures are… whatever they are doing it is strangely relaxing and tranquil.”
“Tranquil?”
“They seem at peace. Don’t dismiss what I am saying, but… I can sense it. They are at rest — in a state of relaxation, or meditation.”
“What makes you say that?” he asked.
“I can’t tell. It’s a sensation… The first time I felt it I thought I was dying from the inf
ection,” she said. “But then I started feeling… different.”
“Different how?” the doctor asked.
Mara shook her head, unable to describe the sensations that she had.
“Note your observations, Mara. I am not dismissing them. I will be back when I have more information on the status of the return capsule. And we will keep this between us, ok?” He stayed on the monitor and waited for Mara to say goodbye.
“I’m getting to work,” she told him, and she switched the comm-link off without a goodbye.
Mara turned to the familiar room that had become her home for the past few days. The lab was back in order, mostly, but being in quarantine had become difficult. It was tight quarters for three people. There had been a lot of bickering between them. There was a sense of foreboding even within their small group. The feeling that each passing sol could be their last pervaded the room, though no one spoke of it, at least not openly.
Mara tested herself routinely for antibodies and was monitored for temperature and fatigue. She had been in routine communication with Dr. Aman about her possible infection. There was no way to know the incubation time of whatever microbes she had been exposed to. She expected at any day she could become seriously ill, and although she was feeling fine now, she was taking immune-boosters regularly.
She kept working despite the conditions. She found the routine of her lab work productive, like it had been during the journey. This part of her work, the examinations and biopsies, she was determined to finish. Even if she fell sick with an illness she couldn’t predict or control, she wanted this work done; she wanted the information sent home. She felt it was a matter of duty, and even if it didn’t become public knowledge, the science needed to be done.
Hanson had been a big help in the lab, repairing several pieces of equipment with the limited tools he had. The other miners would periodically stop by to ask him questions through the door and he would shout answers back at them. Johan had even stopped by several times. Judging by their conversations Mara suspected the miners would have left the moon if not for Hanson being in quarantine. Johan always appeared frustrated with him when he visited. Mara knew she would take the brunt of Johan’s frustration regarding the quarantine situation. It was just another reason for him not to like her.
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