“I was appalled,” Mrs. Jabari exclaims.
“You were just embarrassed because your new boyfriend thought I was a low-life.”
“You were!”
“I was going through a phase!”
Frustrated, I exhale, “Nobody here is perfect. I’m sorry I brought that up. Look, back to present day, okay? You both love and miss Nana, but you can’t use her to work out your resentments. It’s not right. Mrs. Jabari, I understand what you’re doing here, by moving in so quickly. You just lost your mom and you’re trying to hold onto a part of her. I understand that’s what really is going on.” Denise cocks her head at me with a that’s-reaching-pretty-far-Maddie. I address her next. “And yes, your mother wasn’t there when you needed her, and Nana pretty much raised you. That sucks, believe me, I know how much it sucks. But you two are family. If you could somehow put the past behind you, all the anger and expectations, maybe you can help each other through this!”
They glare at each other.
After a moment of no talking, I try another tactic. “You guys, a lot of people will be hurting, too. Nana was very kind, very generous with her heart…”
Denise bites off my sentence, “Unlike you, Mom!”
“I am kind!”
“To every man you come across!”
I throw my arms out. “Stop it! This isn’t helping!”
“Why don’t you go back to Atlanta and leave me alone!”
“Don’t talk to my friend like that!”
“I was talking to you, Deenie!”
“Maybe I will!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
I groan, “No. You will not.” Turning to Denise I implore her, “You will regret it if you don’t stay. You know you will.” Her anger downshifts to frustration, an improvement that gives me hope. I turn to Rhonda. “Mrs. Jabari, think how bad it will make your family look to all those guests if you don’t get along.” Vanity is her weakness, and her jutted chin softens a little, so I continue while I still have an in. “Imagine how much nicer a party it will be if you’re all here, unified. Your guests will go home saying good things about you.” Her eyes flicker with interest.
I’ll take what I can get.
I ask Denise, “Do you want this house?”
“No, I don’t want to move back to Richmond. But that’s not the point!”
“You want Nana’s memory respected with a little more time and consideration.”
“Yes!”
Mrs. Jabari snaps, “I am respecting it!”
We stare at her. I take a deep breath to maintain my patience. “I need a little self-awareness here, and so does your daughter, who I know you love. Mrs. Jabari, no disrespect—just honest communication, okay?”
“Fine,” she grumbles, crossing her arms.
“You’re moving a little too quickly, and that’s not taking into consideration how much Denise is hurting.”
“That’s because she loved my mother more than she loves me!”
The room goes silent.
There it is.
The real reason.
When you dig underneath anger to its root cause, you’ll always find pain. If you can approach that hurt with compassion and honesty, that’s where healing begins. I learned this when I studied child-psychology. And we’re all really just adult children, trying to find our way.
Denise quietly says, face softer now, “I just loved my Nana, Mom. She was there for me when you weren’t.”
Mrs. Jabari walks to the only black dress, stroking it like she knows it’s the one she’s supposed to wear. Chewing on her lip, she confesses, “I wasn’t meant to be a mom.” She swallows and clears her throat. “I got pregnant too young. I didn’t want to spend my life as a grown-up yet.” Her chin raises as she meets her daughter’s eyes, so like her own but with less life experience. “I think I resented you…a little.”
Denise says, understanding, “I was your jail,” for the first time able to put herself in Rhonda’s shoes. Not as a mother, but as a person. Denise has told me many times that she doesn’t want to be a mother.
Slowly I walk backwards to give them space. It’s so huge, and never talked about. You’re supposed to be elated when you’re pregnant, but not everyone is meant for this job.
“I didn’t mean to be born. I didn’t have a say in that. I was just a little girl who didn’t understand why her Momma didn’t want to spend time with her.”
Mrs. Jabari grimaces against rising emotions. “I’m proud of you, Deenie.”
“No, you aren’t.”
“You’re the woman I wanted to be.”
Denise whispers, “Momma!”
“People love you. They don’t look at me like they look at you.” Mrs. Jabari blinks to the dress. “Maybe I’ll wear this one. It’s more appropriate for a grown-up.”
Tears gather as Denise rushes over and embraces her, “Please don’t push Nana’s memory out of this house so fast. Wait until I go home. I’m begging you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Let’s just put it behind us.”
Bucky stands up, tail wagging as he sees me. I give him a pet, and close the door.
After a few more moments, Denise walks out, wiping her eyes and we head downstairs.
Tee Tee’s voice travels up as she insists to the staff, “I didn’t order lavender napkins. I ordered white and yellow! What is this?”
Denise mutters, “Do me a favor. Don’t cure me and my sister. I like hating her.”
“You got it.”
CHAPTER 15
N ICHOLAS
I ’m impatient with this party. Haven’t seen Maddie here. It’s tormented me for two hours. Every female I see I expect to be her.
I was sure she’d show.
Or maybe I just hoped.
“You hung me out to dry,” Marla accuses me, clawing her way through the crowd.
I ask, uninterested, “What are you talking about?”
“At Billy’s you carried off that girl and left me in the backyard.”
Matthew catches my glance and smirks. I shoot him a look that I’d rather be anywhere but here, having this conversation. “I’m not your keeper. And you were in good hands with Matt.”
Her eyes flash with anger, but quickly cool. “I thought it was strange. That you would go to her aid and not mine after our…history.”
From under amused eyebrows I ask, “What history is that?”
Marla glares at me. “Wow, you’re a real fucking asshole.”
“Am I? You left with some guy. Were you crying into his pillow over me? Come on, Marla, you want as much attention as you can get, and I’m not in the mood.”
“Screw you, Nicholas!” She storms off.
Zoe walks up with Nathan and Wyatt, fresh drinks in their hands. She watches Marla’s exit and asks, “Who was that?”
“Someone I shouldn’t have fucked.”
“Nicholas!”
“What?”
“Did you just hurt that girl?”
“No, but her ego needs a tissue.” Looking at Matt I ask him to back me up.
He smiles, “Zoe, your brother is a player. Women know it, and they’re fine. They want his notch on their bedpost more than he wants theirs.”
Her jaw drops.
Wyatt chuckles from behind a red plastic cup. “Matt, you forget that our sister hasn’t had sex yet. She doesn’t know how to be casual, or how to do anything.”
I smack Wyatt in the chest. “Keep your voice down!”
“I was just…” He glances over to Nathan and gets a similar disapproving look.
Zoe is staring at nothing, her jaw proudly tilted up, but we know he embarrassed the shit out of her. And now Wyatt knows it too.
He takes a step closer and lowers his voice. “Sorry, Zo.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, I wasn’t thinking.”
“I’m not ashamed,” she shrugs, feigning detachment, a word that doesn’t exist in her vocabu
lary. “I think sex is special, that’s all. It shouldn’t be taken lightly. Excuse me, I see a friend I know.”
Nathan and Wyatt wait until she leaves to look at me, the latter saying, “How come the Cocker hormones didn’t get passed down to her, huh? Why didn’t we get Sofia Sol as a sister? Her, I can understand!”
Nathan reminds him, “Soph’s getting married in a couple months.”
“Yeah, but before that, she was worse than Nicholas!”
“Me? You guys are just as bad.”
“Bullshit,” Wyatt insists from behind a you’re-shitting-me face.
Nathan agrees, “I get half the tail you get.”
Bored, I ask Matthew, “You see Denise or Maddie yet?”
“You keep asking me that.” He stretches up to scan the place. “She probably stayed home to be with the dog. Didn’t want to leave him alone so soon.”
“Denise, too?”
He meets my eyes, suddenly amused. “You want me to ask Billy?”
Shoving my hands in my pockets I mutter, “Why would I want you to do that? I was just asking.”
“It’s the third time you’ve asked me.”
My brothers stare at me with interest.
“I haven’t asked you three times.”
Wyatt says, “It was more than that.”
Nate agrees, “I heard four, and I wasn’t even with you the whole time.”
I head away, “I’m concerned about the dog.”
As they follow, my brothers won’t drop the subject.
Wyatt razzes me, “I think you’re concerned about the owner.”
This is exactly the soil they like to till.
“Yeah,” Nate laughs, “We love dogs, but asking five hundred times is a bit overkill, dontcha think?”
“She must have been smokin’ hot, huh, Nicholas?”
“Maybe hotter than that fire?”
“You want to show her your hose?”
“Get her nice and wet.”
I laugh, “Shut the fuck up!”
“Have her moaning, 911! 911! I’ve got an emergency!”
“Yes, ma’am what’s your emergency?”
“I need a condom!”
Shaking my head I lock eyes with Matt.
They zoom in on him next.
Wyatt asks, “Hey Matt, you see her? Did she kick him in the nuts?”
“Did he give her that dog so he looked like a good guy.”
Flipping around I get in Nathan’s face. “Hey, don’t even joke about that.”
His eyebrows fly up. “Looks like I hit a nerve.”
“I went into a fire to save that dog, and you would have, too.”
The laughter leaves his eyes. “Okay, Nicholas.”
“I didn’t do it to get in her pants.”
“I hear you. I understand.”
Eyeing him to make sure he means that, I turn around, head for the door. “Take Zoe back home when you guys are done here. Matthew?”
“Right here.” He jogs up .
Nathan calls after us. “Nicholas?”
I don’t want to turn around, but I do anyway. “What?”
“I’m dropping out of Yale to become a firefighter.”
My mouth goes slack because I know Mom and Dad aren’t going to like this. Nodding under my distraction I tell my baby brother, “You do what you feel is right,” and start to head out.
“Nicholas!”
Turning around I see him watching me with need in his eyes, and I suddenly realize he’s looking for my approval.
I take a deep breath, thinking about it. “I always wondered if you really wanted to become a lawyer.”
“I don’t. It bores the shit out of me.”
Nodding I rub my face. “They’re not going to be happy, but I’m behind you, Nate. I’ve got your back.”
His eyelashes flicker and his shoulders square off, reminding me so much of Dad.
As Matt and I walk into the cool night air, I mutter, “They really do look up to me like a second father, don’t they?”
He smirks, “You have to ask?”
CHAPTER 16
N ICHOLAS
I ’ve been trying to decide whether or not it makes me a stalker if I called that vet for Madison’s number.
“Nick.”
I glance up to my lunch meeting and frown. “Sorry, got distracted.”
“Oh yeah?” Dane leans back in a chair that should be more comfortable for these prices. “If the new Georgia tax laws aren’t enough to hold your interest, then how about those hips?”
I glance to a woman walking by our table, a beauty in her thirties with a bod made for that skirt. Without emotion I shrug and put my napkin back on the table, rising up. “She’s okay, listen, I have to make a phone call. I’ll be back before our food arrives.”
Dane waves me off while sipping his martini. “Fine, go.”
Breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, or coffee meetings with finance guys should come with a warning label: includes alcohol.
The collective belief is if we’re going to work sixteen-hour days, we deserve lubricants to strengthen morale. I’m not a huge drinker, but I join in for the social aspect because you’ve got to. However, with guys like Dane it’s tough. The more he drinks, the bigger an asshole he becomes.
“Those hips would haunt your dreams, Nick!” he calls after me, way too loudly for this fine establishment’s ears.
I flinch and keep walking, sliding my phone from my pocket and searching my call-list, frowning as my chest starts pounding.
“Sandy Springs Animal Hospital, Adam speaking, how can I help you?”
“Yeah, hey, my name is Nicholas Cocker. I uh…a friend of mine came in with a dog a couple weeks ago after a house fire we were in.”
“Oh wow, I’m sorry. Everyone okay?”
Blinking at the full restaurant from where I’m standing off to the side, I realize this is news to him, so he wasn’t working that night. Probably doesn’t do the graveyard shift if I’ve caught him there today at half-past-noon. I can’t remember the name of the woman I spoke with last time.
“Yeah, everyone’s good. Listen, I lost my phone and the girl’s number with it, the one who brought in the dog. She’s a friend of mine. Name is Madison. I’m the one who paid the bill. Just hoping you can pass her number along to me. I’m trying to reach her.”
He’s amiable. “Sure, no problem.”
Relieved, my lungs deflate. “Great.”
“What’s her last name?”
“Uh…”
Shit shit shit.
“I don’t know it, but hey, we don’t all know our friends’ last names, right?”
Silence on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry, I can’t give out her number to you then.”
“Ah, come on, man. I’m just trying to check on the dog.”
“Yeah, but how do I know that?”
I blink and drag tense fingers through my hair. “Nah, you’re right. I wouldn’t give it to me either. Just between you and me though, this sucks.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Keep protecting the women. It’s the right thing to do.” Sighing I rub my face. “Have a good one.”
“You too.”
Hanging up, I rub my face again.
Frustration is an obsessive bitch.
She wasn’t at the last couple parties. And I can’t get her out of my head, and it’s been two weeks. That’s weird for me. A first.
Forcing my attention back to work I remind myself that Dane agreed to meet me for lunch, which is a good thing. Tolerate his sleaziness, focus on the task at hand—picking his brain for how he always seems to be ahead, no matter how volatile the Stock Exchange is.
Strolling back to the table, he doesn’t see me coming because he’s checking out a waitress from behind his martini, the look in his eyes disgusting.
As I sit down I reach for my whiskey. “How’s the wife?”
Dane smooths his tie with the hand that bears his wedding ring. “
She’s perfect. As long as she’s out of town. Let me give you some advice, marry a woman who doesn’t care what you do when she’s not around. Makes it easier not to have to worry about repercussions.”
Our server’s eyebrow lifts as she sets filet mignon in front of Dane, and a roasted chicken with fingerling potatoes in front of me. “Would you like cracked pepper?”
I nod and she gives it a couple whirls until I lift my hand. “Thanks.”
“Bon appetit.” She glances to Dane before politely exiting.
“You planning on getting married someday, Nicholas?”
“Ask me in five years.” I stab a golden brown potato with my fork.
Slicing his steak, he smirks, “It’s a necessary evil if you want to procreate.”
“Don’t sugarcoat it, Dane.”
A throaty chuckle shakes him as he takes a bite. Chewing for a second, he’s quiet and I’m grateful. But it doesn’t last.
“We are men, Nicholas! I’m telling it like it is. Wives are necessary. Vows are for show. Nobody lives by them.”
I wash down the bile that’s traveling up my throat, set my whiskey back on the table as I firmly say, “In my family they do.”
“Your whole family?” he challenges with a gleam in his smarmy eyes. “All five hundred of them? I find it hard to believe nobody has ever fucked around. You’re kidding yourself.”
“It’s true.”
“That you know of.”
“I’m telling you, it’s true.”
“All happy marriages?”
I keep the family rumors about my cousin Ben to myself, because I secretly believe whatever trouble he may or may not be having with Shelby, he’ll get out of.
“Yep. Happy, all of them.”
“You’re kidding yourself. Human beings are flawed. I’m sure at least one—“
“Drop it, Dane, before things get ugly.”
Laughing, “You’re a funny guy. I like that,” he slices into rare steak and continues, unsolicited, “You can have as many women on the side as you want. I do. I have my wife, my mistress, my mistress’s friend. Buy them a bracelet, a pretty trinket, that’s all it takes to start the ball rolling. Do they know I’m married? Of course. They all do.”
Nicholas Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 16) Page 7