What does she want from me? “Hey, Madison.”
She’s fiddling with her fingernails, eyes cast down as she numbly repeats, “I don’t sleep with guys on the first date.”
“Then let’s go on another one.” Her eyelashes fly up, incredulous. “I was kidding.”
“Were you?”
“Look, you’re making me out to be a bad guy. I’m not one.”
She turns in her seat, “No, I’m not saying you are. But you’re trying pretty hard to get me to sleep with you. You went from getting to know me, to inviting me to watch a movie at your place, and it’s nearly midnight, and I have a friend watching my dog.”
Thinking about it, I admit, “Okay, I forgot about the dog.”
“Actually, you forgot about the promise. And I did, too, for a second there. But now I can’t because it feels really obvious that I needed it to be true.”
My eyebrows pierce together. “What promise?”
She covers her face, taking a few deep breaths, and drops it again, meeting my eyes to say with a saint’s patience, her voice gentle, “You made a point of promising you weren’t going to try anything tonight, that you wanted to earn my trust.”
Like I’ve been hit, I sit back. “Oh shit.”
She opens the door and is climbing out of the car before I have a chance to realize what’s going on. I fly out, beat her to the building, open the door. “Jeezus, can’t you even let me be a gentleman?”
Madison adjusts her hemline. “You’re very confusing. I just wish you’d choose which to be, a gentleman or a pick-up artist.”
She walks in, leaving me staring as she hits the elevator button, crossing her arms and not looking over. The doors whoosh open and she disappears.
“Fuck this,” I mutter, racing in and slamming my hand in the slit before they get a chance to close all the way. The sensor beeps and they open up, leaving me and my date in a stand-off. “Hey, you were saying…you were…It wasn’t just me ready to go home with you, Madison.”
“Yes, for a moment there I forgot myself, and I wanted to go home with you. And it’s not your fault that things switched so quickly with me. I’m sure that was confusing, and that’s on me. But it is your fault for not holding to what you said. If you’d have stuck to that, and dropped me home, even with me wanting you, I probably would have been in your arms tomorrow, because I would have believed your claim that you wanted my trust, that I was…different.” The alarm goes off on the elevator doors as they object to being held open. She frowns, emotions flitting over her pretty face. “I have a feeling you’ve never wanted the things I want. If I’d have turned my cheek at what I knew about you tonight, and let things go further, you probably wouldn’t have called me again. But I’m not saying goodnight because by withholding sex, I’m hoping you will call. I’m saying it because I hope you won’t. I want a lot more than you do. And I can’t take the disappointment. Please let the door go so I can see Bucky. I kind of need to right now.”
Frowning I take my hand back and step away. As the doors hesitate, I do, too.
Madison is asking me to let her go, but it’s her who has me hostage, unable to move.
Now she’s gone.
Just like that.
CHAPTER 25
M ADISON
“How’d it go?” Denise asks from the couch before her expression falls. “Uh oh. Not good, huh?”
“No, it was great, but then I screwed up.” Squatting to pet my excited dog I glance back at her to shrug, “Or maybe I was smart. I really don’t know anything anymore. I’m very confused.”
She rises from the couch. “This requires chocolate.”
“No, chocolate will make me more depressed.”
“Okay, those two things do not go together! You need to tell me what happened.”
Walking to the kitchen with Bucky on my heels I grumble, “Wine I can do.”
Denise pulls some long-stemmed glasses from my cupboard while I uncork a bottle of rosé. “Madison, can I guess what you did?”
“No,” I frown, locking eyes with her for a brief second. “I don’t want to find out I’m predictable.”
Undeterred, she goes on to say, “He made a move and you shot him down.” She plucks a clean dishtowel from one of my drawers and begins to wipe spots off my glassware. “Am I right?”
“Well, that’s not too hard to guess.”
“So I’m right.”
“Yes, but that’s not the issue. I thought you were going to specifically guess how it happened. Then I would have been upset.”
“Mmhmm,” she hums, setting one glass down to shine the other. “You were having a great time. He even plied you with chocolate treats. You loosened up, despite your usual uptight and cautious nature. You agreed to sleep with the man, and then when the time came, you changed your damn mind. Probably gave him some magnanimous speech, too, didn’t you?”
Blinking at her, I removed the cork, its pop a punctuation mark. “Jeez.”
She holds out a glass for me to pour. “Do you think I don’t know you?”
Crumbling, I set the wine down and walk away, dragging both hands through my hair. “Why didn’t I just go with him?”
“You were scared. It’s that simple.”
“I know! But life is short!”
Pouring she mutters, “Not short enough to waste years holding a torch for some man you once touched who was too fine to forget.” Walking to me she extends a glass. “We are toasting your wisdom.”
“I don’t know if we can call it that. When you have the chance to be with a man like him, you take it.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
Exhaling I admit, “Because I would’ve never forgotten him.”
“Exactly.”
“So I didn’t screw up?”
Her full lips squish to the side as she considers it a moment. “There are two sides to this. One, you jump in and probably get your heart broken. The other, you’re safe and you wait for a man who won’t break your heart. And when you meet him, you’ll be available to him because your heart won’t be hooked on another man’s cock.”
I clink our glasses together. The thing about friends is they help you work through your choices, good and bad.
As we walk back to the comfort of my sofa I sigh, “What if I never meet him?”
“The him?”
“Yes.”
Denise balances her glass as she tucks one foot under her butt and gets cozy. “Is there really a ‘The him?’”
I give Bucky a pet while I sip. “Too many people on the planet for there to be just one soulmate for each of us. What if my guy speaks only Mandarin and lives in China?”
“What if my man’s living in Alaska right now and loves the snow—which I don’t?” she asks.
Pulling a chenille throw blanket over our legs I agree, “What if my man is an astronaut on a mission to Mars and will be gone for the next five-to-ten years? What then?”
She nearly shouts the question, “You wait for him? Oh, hell no! God cannot be that cruel. There are too many wonderful people on this planet and you just gotta find one that you look forward to seeing every day. Like me with you. Why can’t we be gay?”
“Right?” I grumble. “It would be so great if I was into you. We already love each other.”
Denise announces, “I love you almost as much as I love me!” before taking a drink. “Almost.”
I touch my glass to my forehead. “Thank you for making me feel better.”
“You talking to the wine?”
Under my breath I laugh, “To you.”
She gives me a gentle smile. “You gonna be okay?”
I reach for the softness of Bucky’s shiny coat. “Yeah. It was just…fun being with him. He’s very easy to talk to. And his cousin Ethan and his wife and daughter joined us for dinner.”
Denise’s head flies back. “Say what?”
Diving into the evening I describe every detail. It’s important to cover everything so we can dissect the
underlying meaning of it all. After we tear the night to shreds, and drink the bottle dry, Denise finally blinks away from me with a frown.
“I have no idea what’s gonna happen, Maddie. I really don’t. We’ve seen him with how many girls?” She pauses, “That man is the biggest player in town. When a guy is that good-looking, it’s like you said. Everyone wants him.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, staring at Bucky before meeting her eyes again. “Especially me. I want him pretty badly.”
She tilts her head and reaches over to touch my knee. “Oh honey, it’s a good thing you didn’t get on that cock tonight.”
“Amen.”
CHAPTER 26
M ADISON
“Skylar, let Kyle have some pizza. It’s not all for you.”
“But he pigs it down so fast!”
“Skylar,” I warn.
Groaning, she plants the step-stool beside the fridge again and retrieves the box from up top. “Oh, alright!”
He whines, “Why you gotta be so mean, Sky?”
From the dining nook where I’m sitting with the puzzle we were working on, I remind him, “No whining, Kyle. It’s not attractive.”
“I don’t care!”
“You want friends, don’t you? Nobody likes a whiner. Not even whiners.”
He glares at me, one of those adorable little-boy frowns, but his face brightens as his sister hands him a slice, begrudgingly saying to him, “Here, Kyle.”
“Yes!” Shoving the narrow part of the triangle in his mouth, he makes happy noise as he bounces to me, plopping into a seat.
Skylar stares at the backyard, mournfully singing, “Rain, rain, go away. Don’t ever come back. I wish Bucky was here.”
“He doesn’t do as well here when we’re cooped up. He just claws at the door, like you’re doing,” I tease her.
She rolls her eyes. “But now he’s just cooped up at your house.”
“He can’t see the backyard at my house.” Because I don’t have one. “And we need the rain, remember?” I place a difficult piece into the puzzle. “It makes everything grow. We need it for our bodies to stay healthy. And many people in the world wish they had rain right now.”
“They can have ours! I want to go outside.”
“Come here and help us. I’m almost done with the blue sky. You want to fill in the café?”
Skylar trudges over, munching the last bite of her pizza.
The front door opens in the distance. I look at the stove-clock, thinking it’s too early for anyone to be home yet. The Schweises never return on Fridays before seven. Sometimes I even hand the kids over to the babysitter when they don’t come back at all.
“Well, well, working on a puzzle are we?” Mr. Schweis strolls in with an affable smile.
The kids barely look at him. “Uh huh,” Kyle answers, but Skylar says nothing, easing a piece into place.
“Madison, you can go home early. I’m working from home today.” He walks to a cabinet and glances inside, shutting it again without grabbing anything from within.
I gather my purse, uneasy around him, and happy to leave as quickly as I can now that he’s home.
Skylar cries out, “No, don’t go yet!”
Kyle stares at me with big eyes.
I kiss her hair and reassure her, “I’ll see you again on Monday, love.”
“No!”
“You told me you’re visiting your grandparents this weekend, Sky.”
“But that’s not until tomorrow! Stay!” She tugs on my shirt. “We have to finish the Van Gogh!”
Glancing to her father as he smiles at us with his hands in his suit pockets I reassure her, “We’ll finish it Monday.” To him I ask, “Is it okay if this stays on the table over the weekend?”
“You know my wife better than that,” he chuckles.
The kids blink from him to me. But I can’t ask for a miracle. Mrs. Schweis is very anal about her house being ‘just so.’ This puzzle would be broken apart and boxed up even if it was completed.
“Do you want to tear it apart?” I smile like that’ll be even more fun.
They shake their heads, Kyle rubbing one of his sad eyes.
“We can start from fresh on Monday. And who knows, it might be a beautiful day and we can play outside instead. You might not even want the puzzle.”
She smacks her socked foot on the marble floor. “Stay!”
“Skylar, enough!” her father growls.
The children bow their heads and start tearing apart the puzzle slowly, piece by piece. I help them, and when it’s boxed up I hug them and ask them, “Would you please put this away for me?”
I’m trying to teach them to pick up after themselves and it’s been a struggle since they have not only a nanny and a babysitter, but a cleaning lady who comes three times a week, too.
Skylar surprises me by nodding and carrying the box away.
Feeling terrible I walk with my purse toward the door. Mr. Schweis follows me. Ever since that unwanted kiss, I have avoided being alone with him. It’s usually their mom who comes home first, so I’ve been lucky. And today, I walk a little faster just so he doesn’t get the idea that I’m interested.
My umbrella is waiting for me to reclaim it, sitting in an iron basket—the key to my freedom if I can only make it there in time.
“Madison, come with me a second.”
I freeze.
He chuckles, “Don’t look so worried. It’s payday, remember?” Heading for his office he casually adds, “Just have to write you a check.”
Frowning, I stare at his back. This foreboding feeling is probably nothing. I made it clear that he’d acted out of line before. He wouldn’t try that again—it’d be too weird for him to do that.
Forcing reluctant feet to follow the man who pays my bills, my chest is tight, breath held.
He removes a checkbook from one of his drawers. “Close the door, would you?”
I make no move to do so.
Lifting a ballpoint pen, he glances up. “Close it, Madison. I’m not going to bite you. I want to talk to you about what happened, and I don’t want my children to hear.”
Reaching over I shut the door, relaxing. “We don’t need to talk about it.”
“I think we do. It was awkward, don’t you agree?” he smiles, and returns to the check, signing his name with a tight scrawl. Ripping it from the pad, he walks it over. “Well, don’t you?”
“Yes. It was.”
He chuckles, and hands me the slip of paper that keeps a roof over my head. “I know I usually pay you online but…” Suddenly his arms around me and I gasp, shocked at the speed with which he turned. “But I needed to get you alone again, didn’t I?” He grunts, and for the first time I realize he’s hard, his erection pressed into me.
I struggle against him, “Let me go!” but his hold tightens.
“Oh, come on now. I’ve seen how you look at me.”
Hot tears of helplessness are burning my eyes as I fight him off, not wanting to scare the children. “I haven’t been looking at you! Let me go!”
“I like the fight. Keep it up.”
Sickening nausea wafts into me. “I’ll scream! Let me go!”
“No, you won’t,” he hisses, fisting my hair and pulling my head back. “You love my children too much, don’t you?” His teeth clamp onto my neck.
I let out a ragged screech of pure panic, pushing at him, the sound growing quiet quickly from loss of air. I inhale, scream again, with everything I’ve got. The sound pierces the room, travels through the door, I’m sure of it.
He releases me.
Slaps me across the face.
I cry out.
Grab my cheek.
Reach for the handle.
Skylar and Kyle’s voices are on the other side. “Maddie?! Maddie!”
“Tell them,” he sneers, volume low. “I dare you.”
I stare at Mr. Schweis in shock and terror. Any man who makes a threat under these conditions, when his entire life and fami
ly hangs in the balance, is a man I will not test.
My body smashes flat up against the wood as I claw at the knob, turning it. I make my face as calm as I’m able to, walk outside and smile to Skylar and Kyle, painfully laughing, “I’m alright. There was a spider. It crawled on my arm and I didn’t see it until the last minute.”
Their father smiles from behind me, “It was as big as that one you saw in the tub last week, remember Skylar?”
The children relax, their faces changing to being grossed out.
“Ew!”
“It was on your arm?”
“Did it bite you?”
“No, but it scared me. See, my body’s still shaking, look.”
Kyle points to my check, crumbled in my fist. “Is it in there?”
Mr. Schweis retrieves my purse from the floor and hands it to me, our eyes locking for a moment. A warning flashes from his as he gives me this sickening smile, “Here, you must have dropped this when you screamed.”
Swallowing, I nod as I start walking to the front door. “Yes, I must have. Okay, guys, have fun this weekend.”
“Bye Maddie!”
As I grab my jacket I cast a fleeting glance at the three of them, him so tall standing in the center with a look in his eyes I’ll have nightmares about for years. “Bye guys,” I whisper, swiping my umbrella’s handle and rushing out the front door.
I break into a run. My car unlocks as the sensor in my purse nears it. I’ve never been this clumsy before. The door handle feels slippery. My legs are like noodles. I can barely see I’m so scared. The car starts as soon as I’m inside, and the seatbelt slowly embraces me as I punch the gas pedal.
As soon as I’m a few blocks away, I pull over to sob, hugging the steering wheel, chest wracked with heaving. There’s not enough air in this car.
I’m going to suffocate.
I know it.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
CHAPTER 27
N ICHOLAS
“Home for good, huh?” I smirk, hitting the bottoms of Nathan’s bare feet, which are lazily hanging over the arm of Mom and Dad’s sofa, his long body taking up the rest of it.
Nicholas Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 16) Page 12